My body and I haven’t been getting along very well this week. Physically, emotionally and spiritually I’ve been a bit down. I am trying to just surrender into it and not offer any more resistance. Honestly, I’m too tired to resist. I am too tired to make a lot of effort for anything or anyone right now. If it’s not easy, it’s not happening right now. I am just not up to the hard stuff right now.
This “funk” started a few weeks ago. I noticed I was experiencing a lot of anxiety due to full time telework and being stuck in the house alone all the time. Since I am considered “vulnerable”, I’ve been super careful about remaining socially distant. I haven’t been going to outdoor restaurants. I haven’t going to parties or even walking on the boardwalk because its so crowded. When I walk three or four miles, I walk the back streets along the bay instead on the boardwalk. I can not wait for summer to be over and the visitors to be gone. My building’s pool requires folks to wear masks around the pool deck so I haven’t been going there either. Sitting outside in the sun in 90 degrees wear a face mask would not be enjoyable let alone the tan lines. Don’t get me wrong. I am not an anti-masker. I believe in taking all precautions and wearing masks. I just don’t want to do it while sitting by the pool. Yep, 2020 – give it a rest already, would ya?
So my anxiety and low level depression started a few weeks ago mostly due to isolation and disconnection. I’ve also noticed I’ve been experiencing more migraine attacks since I’ve been teleworking. I believe it’s because I was working in my living room which has a huge beach front window which gets all day sun. It can be 80 degrees in my living even with AC on in the middle of a summer afternoon. It’s also exceptionally bright and the windows give a glare.
My biggest migraine triggers are visual disturbances and weather/barometric pressure changes. If a visual disturbance like glare triggers a migraine, I’ll get spinning circles in my eyes which is an aura and then the migraine will hit. If I take my migraine med when the aura starts, it’s a 50/50 chance it will prevent it. On Friday morning I rearranged my apartment a bit and moved my computer desk/work stuff into a corner in my cooler and darker bedroom. I will see if working in a cooler darker room without any glare helps the headaches. I did work on Friday and actually had to wear a sweater all day working my bedroom. It was lovely.
I pulled a muscle in my back earlier this week. Since I am allergic to NSAIDS pain medicines (anti-inflammatory meds), pain management can be challenging. I was down for the count Wednesday and most of Thursday. It started feeling better Thursday night. Other than moving gingerly and rearranging some stuff in my apartment, I’ve been taking it easy. Saturday was the first day I resumed normal activities including 3 miles walk and going to the big grocery store. My back still is a bit sore but Tylenol seems to be helping. I am giving my back a rest now and sitting on my balcony in a comfy chair writing this blog on my Mac while looking out at ocean and listening to Bonnie Raitt Essentials 💙✌️”Women Be Wise” is a great Bonnie Raitt song that isn’t on the Apple Essentials👍
I wish I had something uplifting to share today but I don’t. I am trying to relax into rip tide I am feeling and just let it take me to the other side.
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