Self Care Sunday ~ Wisdom from my Gut

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the notion that everything I am going through is preparing me for what I want…If you read my last post, you know I am in the middle of chronic IBS/Gastritis flare-up and started a new high-profile job at the same time. The flare started about 10 days before I started the new job and before I knew how crazy the new job would be.

I had a CT Scan yesterday to check my Abdomen and they also did a scan on my Aorta because my father, who died at 41 years old, had an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm(AAA). I do not believe I have an AAA. My GP felt I was going to be there anyway, we may as well check for it now since I do have a family history. My sister is having her Aortic scan next week. My brother has a pacemaker so he’s already had the scan and my other sister had a blood clot so she’s already had the scan too.  I believe this IBS flare started because stress and poor food choices but I haven’t had the space to really do good self care for it because I started the new job and it is CRAZY. So, this weekend I am giving my body a full complete STOP🛑I may go grocery shopping and may stop in Boscov’s for new slippers but that’s probably about it.

So, let me talk about the new job. Driving the Karma Bus would truly be my dream job🤣Shit, being the person who delivers Karma to negative forces would totally be the best job ever✊🤣
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But, I need to work in real life and in real life, this could truly be my dream job. Setting up a fully funded grant program is a career I never thought I would ever find with my current company. I am fortunate the Universe put me in the position to take advantage of the opportunity. Here’s where I am getting heartburn. I found out this week from our Gov Affairs office that my ENTIRE leadership team knew this was coming for over ten months but they debated and discussed it for so long they put us behind the eight ball.  I actually think the divisions were playing a game of HOT POTATO – no one wanted it🤣 Ten months ago I was in a temporary assignment working on a grant program for them. I could have been building this for months. Instead, I didn’t start working on it until August 5th with my first HUGE deliverable in October. The problem is Gov Affairs, Legal and my Leadership still do not agree on the interpretation of the language that I am working to execute. My frustration is I feel they should have had those conversation before I even came on board  – come on, they were kicking this can for months before I got here. It’s fucked up…#truthtopower

I was called to a meeting on Thursday and that’s when my dam broke. Something happened in the meeting and I starting talking REALITY to them. “Sorry but your milestone chart and timeline are aggressive and perhaps unrealistic given you just pulled me over ten days ago and October is only six weeks away.” There was dead silence in the room and on the phone when I said it – seriously – dead silence 🤣I didn’t even care – not even a little. It was the truth! I was completely honest about how I feel about the whole situation. Lol:-)  The old Linda would have never done that. I would have been too afraid to say how this was affecting me. Something changed in me in recently. I am now strong enough to enforce my boundaries and respectfully speak my truth, whatever that may be. I took my power back. I also started seeing how the situation was putting unjust pressure on me when the pressure should have belong above me. They’ve known for months this was coming; they could have pulled me over sooner. The situation is starting to affect my holistic wellness. That’s when I knew I had to say what I had to speak my truth and let the chips fall where they may.

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The reality is…if this promotion doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. I realized that I am not attached to this assignment. If I get demoted back to my previous level, it’s ok because no promotion is worth my holistic wellness. There’s freedom in non-attachment. The good news is I expressed myself truthfully and they heard me. They are already working to give me help and support. Actually I got 10 emails yesterday with research and support from Execs! The director who works locally reached out to me to offer support. I spoke to her Thursday night. I really respect her and have a great relationship with her. I can talk to her openly. She said, “Linda, this is a huge task. It’s BIG! Believe me, I understand. You need help. I have someone who can help you!”

Do not get me wrong. If we get through this rough start and get through the first milestone, this could be my actual dream job – that’s if I have to work for a living – independently wealthy is the ultimate life goal🤣 But it’s been a really rough start and it’s been more difficult because I am not physically 100%.

Often on weekends, I go to a cafe up the street from my apartment for breakfast. I sit next to my 74 year old neighbor and eat at the counter. I was telling him about job and stomach issue and he said, “There’s something Biblical about that. Overcoming adversity, learning your strength. Speaking your truth even though it could cost you! Take some time think about that and think about what that is teaching you about yourself!” Then he asked the question that really hit me. He asked, “If you were feeling 100%(you’re normal self), would you have agreed to the aggressive schedule even though you would have known it was not really achievable just because you were just promoted? Would you have pushed to make it happen and prove something to them and yourself?” UGH…If you know me, you know the answer to this question would have been, YES that’s what I do…After thinking about it — maybe not feeling well at the same time I started this job slowed me down and forced me to look at things and myself differently.  My current gut flare-up feels like my gut is telling me something.  It has also been a reminder to slow down and take care of myself first and to speak my truth.  That’s why I like talking to my 74 year old friend. He’s deep!  He makes me think about deep shit.
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Maybe this rough start and how I am handing it with leadership is showing them who I am and my ability to speak truth to power. Maybe they are seeing I have managerial courage. Perhaps they are learning that I won’t lie to them and I am wiling to take a hit in order to live in truth. This is still an awesome opportunity and perhaps now that we have been level set, things will proceed differently.  I want this to work out. I want it to be successful.  I will give them my best effort. I am, however, not willing to jeopardize my self care to make it happen…That’s the bottom line. My holistic wellness comes first. That’s some powerful self awareness right there.  My Spirit Guides would be proud I finally learned the lesson🤣  Yes, what I’ve done in work this week has been good self care and perhaps I will be an example to others. Now, let’s hope my gut gets the memo that I learned the lesson and starts to calm down.

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(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

NOTE ICYMI – My last post was a Blue Love Letter. Scroll down to read it 💙

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

WTF, Seriously WTF…

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Today was the day! Today was the day I was about to scream, cry, shout and totally just let the dam break. Two things happened in my life at the same time and it’s not good. #WTF

I am having some pretty uncomfortable stomach issues. I’ve had chronic bloating in my abdomen, nausea, pain in the upper left, alternating constipation and diarrhea which also leads to dehydration. It’s wearing me out – I mean wearing me the fuck out. I’ve been thinking it’s a flare up of a chronic Gastritis and IBS which I’ve had a long time. It flares up on occasion. Normally, I can get it under control in a week or so. This has been going on for three weeks. I am doing everything I was told and everything I know how to do. I am taking the right meds, I am eating the right foods, I am getting lite exercise. I am deep breathing. I am sleeping. I am doing it all. It’s just not getting better and may even be getting worse. It’s really start to stress me out.

I went to my doc again this week and she told me it’s time for a CT Scan. I am off from work tomorrow so I am having it tomorrow at noon. She then told me she wrote the script to not only look at my tummy but also look at my whole chest with blood vessels as well as check for an Aortic Aneurysm because my father had one. I am not really freaked out about the Aneurysm thing. I do not think I have one. I had an echo cardiogram three years ago for it and I didn’t have one then. What I am freaked about is that I am just not getting any better and I am tired – beyond tired. I am inclined to believe it is gastritis because it hurts more when my tummy is empty. Gastritis can take six to eight weeks to resolve. Hopefully, I get an answer with the test and see improvement in the coming few days.

What’s even more stressful is that I started a new job last week in the middle of this flare-up. It’s my dream job; setting up a new fully funded grant program. But, it’s very very messy in the beginning and it’s on a timeline from congress. So, it’s high pressure. Imagine how I feel trying to do my best work feeling like I need to throw up most of the day. Imagine how it feels to worry while I am in meetings that I can’t focus because I am in pain, nauseous or uncomfortable but can’t tell anyone.I’ve been on the edge of tears some days.

So today I get an invitation at 12:00pm inviting me to brief our senior leader and three other Execs at 2:30pm this afternoon. WTF? Seriously, WTF? 🤣 They wanted just a quick status on where I am on the plan. They gave me two hours notice… I started 10 days ago. I am still meeting with legal, congressional aides, SMEs. I don’t even have support staff yet. WTF? Seriously, WTF? Well, I managed to pull something together. Honestly, I just let it fly. Said what I had to say…All I can say is the whole thing actually worked out pretty good because they clarified a few things, narrowed my scope a bit and gave me some latitude on the interpretation on language which will narrow my target audience. They said they will defend the choice because it made sense. I also told them not to hire anyone for me NEXT WEEK. Why would I want to bring someone I have to train and direct in while I am on a tight deadline. Instead I asked them to loan me two SMEs until the end of October who can help research and pull together a solicitation. Once I have the plan done, I’ll know what kind of support staff we need going forward. They liked that and I already got an email from someone saying they are all mine for the next two months. So the impromptu briefing actually worked out to my benefit.

All I can say is… Please let my stomach start calming down🙏 Please let there be no Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm🙏 Please let me start feeling better🙏 Please let me get the big giant cubicle on the fourth floor with window view 🙏🤣I have to move up there eventually, it would be nice to have a view.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

NOTE ICYMI – My last post was a Blue Love Letter. Scroll down to read it 💙

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

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Self Care Sunday – I am Proud Of My Mexican Roots

Frida Kahlo Art

Roots by Mexican Artist, Frida Kahlo. I love Frida’s work.

I am a descendant of an Mexican Immigrant. This post is Immigration story, my heritage. I am proud of it and I don’t really give a crap if I lose readers who have aligned themselves with hate by posting this story.

Margaurita Villa Reale was my great grandmother. She was Native American Mexican with her roots starting as Castillian Spanish from Iberia in the 1800s. John Long, my great grandfather, was Irish and a career Army Texas Ranger. John grew up Louisiana but was stationed in San Antonio, Texas on the boarder of Mexico. Marguarita and John married. When they married, they changed Marguarita’s name so she sounded American instead of Mexican. She is known as Maggie on all the Census records. My grandfather, their first child, was born in San Antonio. My grandfather’s name was Napolean, known as Nap by friends. John was later transferred to an Army base in Georgia; he and Margaurita had six more children after my grandfather.

Navy photos

My grandfather, in the middle, with his Navy buddies.

Nap ran away and tried to join the Army when he was 13 years old. His mother had to go pick him up. Nap later ran away again when he was 16 years old and joined the Navy. They kept him. Nap traveled the world on ships. I have posts and photos from his journey preserved in a photo album. Nap was stationed at the Philadelphia Navy Yard in the 1920s where he met my Grandmother, Anna, at the USO. They married and Anna moved with him to Norfolk, VA where my Father was born.

post card from Navy in 1920

Nap retired from the Navy with 30 years of service. He and Anna moved back to Philadelphia with their five children to be near Anna’s family. Nap’s second career was as a prison guard at Eastern State Penitentiary in the Fairmount Section of Philadelphia. Eastern State has been closed for years. It’s a museum and historic site now. Most famous for housing Al Capone. Since my family is considered Alumni at ESP, we were given a private tour a few years ago. It totally creeped all of us out. It’s tourist destination and during Halloween they do a hell of a haunted house in the prison. If you never been there, check it out if you are in Philly.

Nap passed away suddenly in his early 50s with a massive heart attack. My father died suddenly with a massive heart attack 20 years later when he was 41 years old. The first photo is an older Nap and the second photo is my dad when he was in early 20s.

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Margaurita and Nap had seven children. I do not know anyone from the extended family. However, my grandfather, their eldest child, had five children with 17 grandchildren and one son who died in the battle for Normandy Beach in France during WWII. My Aunt told me my grandfather wasn’t the same man after his son died in battle.

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I am the youngest of five children and the only one with dark features. My Aunt always told me I favored Margaurita. I am proud of that. Look at this photo, while not the best quality, I am sure you can see a little hispanic/latina in me. I am proud of my heritage ✊

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Yes, the current climate in the United States towards hispanic and latinos hurts my heart because of my heritage – distant but still in my roots. In the United States, we are all immigrants. We all have roots in other nations. Why are Western European White immigrants better than those from brown countries. It’s breaks my heart. While I don’t believe in open borders and do not Condon illegal immigration, I also do not support the hate speech rhetoric and policies of the GOP.

On another self care topic, I heard friends (Barbara & Ray) who moved to Florida were going to be at the Laguna Beach Bar in Brigantine this afternoon. My tummy hasn’t been feeling great lately but it does seem to be settling down so I went over to Laguna and surprised them 😄It was fun. I sat outside with them for a few hours and listened to music and drinking a Ginger Ale.  Here why it was so special.  Barbara and were extremely close friends.  We were Thelma and Louise for long time. Believe me, we got into A LOT of mischief together – usually with alcohol 🤣 We had falling out a few years back. Our lives were just going different directions. Barb and her husband moved to Florida two years ago.  Barbara and I never got a chance to reconnect before they left.  I work with a mutual friend who told me earlier this week they were home and would be at Laguna this afternoon if I wanted to see her.  I decided it was time to put the past behind us.  I drove over around 2pm and surprised them.  Well, it was a wonderful reunion. Barb and I could not stop hugging each other. We decided to just move on and not even talk about what happened in the past. We decided to leave the past in the past and just start a new phase of our relationship.  I cried at least once.  She was hugging me so tight while telling everyone “My Linda Love Me Long Time” is back in my life 🤣💙 It was a great afternoon 🥰 By the way, I haven’t been in Brigantine in a long time. I like it over them.  I could see myself living in a little house over there with a rescued pitbull 😉

Please help me shift the energy in our Nation from hate to love but joining me in the Loving Kindness prayer for all beings to end this hate speech and violence that has taken over the nation. If you feel you need to stop reading this blog because you disagree with me, go in peace ✌️I understand.

Metta Prayer
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

NOTE ICYMI – My last post was a Blue Love Letter. Scroll down to read it 💙

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Blue Love Letter

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Dear Beloved:
I never wanted to love you. I never planned to love you. Love wasn’t what I had on my mind. I wanted fuck you. It was a sexual attraction. It was a physical attraction but something happened along the way. I fell down into the rabbit hole of your beautiful blue eyes. I have been stuck here ever since. Much like Alice when she fell into Wonderland, I find myself seeing thing differently. Feeling things I never wanted to feel for a man again. Unlike Alice, I’ve cursed my way through this by routinely asking myself “What the fuck? How? When? Why?” Those questions are rhetorical, of course.

We drift through this beautiful life; moving through one phase to another. We come together. We move apart. Now we are in a separation phase of our journey. We are separate but still connected. We are separate but both growing, learning about ourselves, healing, reenergizing and reconnecting to our authentic selves. I have faith our separation is for a greater purpose. It will ultimately be for our highest good.

As I call you to mind and feel my heart swell with love and affection for you, I want you to know I love you. Nothing has changed for me in our separation. I still love you. I still desire you. I am still stuck in the wonderland of your blue eyes. I am, however, aware this is a time of great change for you. It’s your time to rest. It’s your time to reconnect with family and friends. It’s your time to listen to what is in your heart. Follow where your intuition leads you. See what you need to see. Feel what you need to feel. This is your time to choose the life you want after so many years of living up to expectations. This is your time to finally find what is authentic and true for you.

Take comfort. I am still here holding love in my heart for you but I also know you need this time, you need this space from us for a while. So, if you don’t hear from me, please know I am not remaining distant because I don’t love you. It’s actually quiet the opposite. I am remaining distant to give you the room to choose the life you want without any outside noise or influence from me. I have no expectations of you.

You see my beloved, I grew up. I learned what real grown up unconditional love really is. I learned love is not attachment. Love is not needy. Love is not conditional. Love has no expectations. Love, truly loving you, means I want you to be happy, with or without me. I am here if/when you are ready connect. I am hoping to hear from you and see your beautiful eyes again. I welcome a reunion with you.  But I finally love myself enough that I will be thankful for the role you played in my life even if our separation remains permanent. I will love you for the impact and influence you have had on my life. I will love you for reigniting passion in body. My love for you is big enough, deep enough and wide enough to give you space to find your life even if it ends up not being with me.

Beloved, please know you are love and missed.  We are separate but still connected in our hearts.
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

NOTE This love letter for Blue Love was pushing at the edges of my heart all damn day. I couldn’t wait to get home and write it out of me💙💙

This is the third day of my new job. Wow! It’s gonna be a whirlwind. It involves interacting with congressional liaisons, working with the highest levels of management and, I found out today may even include establishing a not for profit company. Holy crap! My dream came true ✨ It scares the crap out of me 🤣I’ve been pretty stressed out all week. I am not good with change. My belly is freaking out; my nerves are raw. I will be glad to get my first week over✌️

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

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Self Care Sunday ~ Fresh Start

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I have a fresh start on Monday. I start a new job. I finally close the door on one chapter of my life and move on to the next. While I’ve enjoyed my time working on my current team, it is beyond time for me to move on.

The new job has possibilities. I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen. Yes, it is a promotion. More than the money, I am excited about the possibilities of where it could take me and the growth opportunities it will offer me. It’s a fresh start.  Am I nervous? Heck yes. Anything new can be scary. It’s definitely going to stretch me and require a different version of Linda than I’ve been in recent months. I am good with that.

I am in an active flare-up of some chronic tummy issues. Most of the bloating and gas have passed and right now I am having some trouble getting the acid reflux symptoms to calm down. It’s going to take a few more days. It’s a flare. Flares come and then fade away. This one will fade away. But it has been a good reminder for me as I go into this new job that self care comes first; I must create and enforce proper boundaries for self care. Let the chips fall where they may. I am not really worried about continued career advancement as the next step would be management. I am not really interested in being a manager. Too much responsibility; dealing with other peoples problems all day and getting caught up in office politics really isn’t my thing. I am not interested in taking that on in my 50s. But, I do want to be the best Lead for my team that I can be. I want to practice good self care and also encourage the folks around me to do the same. This will affect positive change.

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It’s interesting. Whenever my tummy trouble flares up, I always retreat. Heck, I am introvert. I retreat most weekend but when I am sick I retreat into my bed. I withdrawal from interaction. I go within. I withdrew from my social life for a month to recharge and heal my body. It’s eight years later and I still haven’t completely reengaged 🤣

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Some of the greatest opportunities of growth I’ve experienced have come during or after a flare up of health issues. This time I spend quiet and alone gives me space to process and think through new ideas around growth and spirituality. I also know how to take care of myself when a flare hits now…Up the medicine. Lite exercise to move things along in my bowel. Restrict the diet. Look through my food diary for triggers. Pray and mediate to keep myself calm and peaceful while I ride out the worst parts of it. Focus my attention on good things like writing this blog and reading inspiration posts on Instagram. Lol 🙂 Flares are temporary. As my best friend used to say to me whenever she had a bad day during her battle with Cancer, “this too shall pass”.

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Unfortunately, I canceled dinner with friends this week because I didn’t feel well. I can’t wait to reschedule it. They normally let me pick since I have the food issues. We always end up at Steve & Cookies which is a local upscale restaurant. I also like upscale steakhouses or any place I can get Salmon. My belly likes expensive restaurants and frowns on bar food. 🙂 I also cancelled a massage this week. It’s never good to get a massage when you are already sick. Massages can trigger a detox. I didn’t need to add any more population or toxic waste into my body 🙂

Today is Sunday. I woke up to a second mass shooting in less than 24 hours. Putting politics aside, I offer the Metta Prayer to all beings in the Universe. I hope the dark psychic force that has taken hold in the United States is over powered by love and peace.

Metta Prayer

ICYMI – I’ve been posting every day this week since I haven’t been working; scroll down to see all of my posts from this week. I am not sure I will have time to write the next few days so have a safe Sunday and great week.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Irritable Bowel Syndrome Is Irritating

Screen Shot 2019-08-03 at 10.07.33 AMToday I am sharing some information about living with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). While it may be too much information for some, I am really just sharing in case anyone needs the information and for awareness.

I’ve had the symptoms of IBS most of my adult life I just didn’t know that what it was. My flare symptoms include gas, bloating, stomach pain in the left flank area, burping, hiccups, acid reflux, alternating constipation and diarrhea, sweating, fatigue, stuffy nose, nausea and etc. It can really make me miserable and that’s why I try to very hard to keep it under control.

While I’ve had the symptoms most of my life, I was only diagnosed about six or seven years ago. At the time, I had IBS-C which means I had constipation on a regular basis. In recent years, my flare-ups can swing either way IBS-C or IBS-D (diarrhea). I was even put a medication when I was first diagnosed to help relax my bowel and reduce bloating. The medication was unsuccessful. I have had more success with controlling my diet and getting regular exercise.

IBS can be triggered by food, mediations, emotions, stress, environmental issues and weight changes. My biggest personal triggers are dietary, lack of physical exercise and stress. I force myself to get at least 30 minutes of lite exercise even if I don’t feel well because it helps move things along in my gut.

IBS-Graphic

I started seeing a Gastro specialist at Jeff in Philly. He diagnosed me with Pancreatic Enzyme Deficiency which he believes is underlying cause of the IBS. In other words, I don’t have enough Pancreatic Enzymes to digest food properly which means they rot in my gut if I am not properly elimination which triggers the symptoms. He prescribed a prescription strength Digest Enzymes to take with meals. It can have an explosive effect so I don’t use it every meal. He also diagnosed me is Small Intestine Bacteria Overgrowth (SIBO). SIBO happens when bacteria from undigested food in the lower gut comes up into the upper gut. It is triggered by not properly digesting food. SIBO is the Trojan horse of IBS and requires a course of antibiotics to settle the gut bacteria down.

I am current on an antibiotic. The doctor prescribe one that would get my sinuses and my gut bacteria. In some ways, I feel better. In other ways, I am still in thick of it. Once a flare-up is triggered, it takes some time to settle down. It slowly fades away. I get the most relief for extended periods of time when I follow the Low FODMAP diet. This diet only limits carbs that are fermentable oligo-, di-, monosaccharides and polyols.  While the diet is restrictive, it has been a Godsend. I learned I can eat food that normally trigger me. It about the portion size but there are still foods I can NOT tolerate. As of last week, I am back on a highly restrictive version of Low FODMAP to help settle things down. Spiritually I always trust my gut but physical – I agree that my gut is bastard!

IBS Meme

As I look back on my food diary, I can see where I slipped up. I expanded my diet too far. I was eating beans. BEANS! WTF Linda? I don’t really tolerate beans well. Especially Chickpeas and Black Beans. I can eat Chili occasionally as long as it is cooked a long time. I was eating Cherries and Blueberries – both are high FODMAP. That combo alone could have trigged a flare up. I was eating raw veggies. While I can tolerate a salad when I am feeling good and take a digest enzyme, I can’t really tolerate a lot of raw veggies. Cooked veggies are usually ok. Apples. OMG. The Green Apple almost killed me. I felt my belly immediately swell up. Did I not learn anything from Adam and Eve about Apples🍏

If you’d like more information on IBS, Dr. Axe and Dr. Mark Hyman are great Functional doctors with good tips:  Here are a couple of links to get you to their sites.

https://draxe.com/health/gut-health/ibs-diet-food-cures/

https://drhyman.com/blog/2015/04/17/powerful-strategies-to-eliminate-ibs-other-gut-issues/

FODMAP-1

So here I am. Still bloating. Still with upper left flank discomfort. Still alternating between IBS-C and IBS-D. Just getting through every day waiting for the flare up to fade away but the reality is it’s going to be a few more days. Yes, I will going back to work not feeling a 100% but it’s ok. I am a remote employee. They even told me I can telework more often if needed. I worked for my new GM last year. We’ve become friendly. She recruited me knowing my issues. She knows my belly issues won’t hold me back in work.

If you are having any symptoms that could be IBS, I suggest you make an appointment with Gastro specialist. You will need your Pancreatic Enzyme levels checks. You will need breathe tests for SIBO and other gut absorption issues. You will need an Upper GI with biopsy and maybe a Colonoscopy. I’ve had it all.

ICYMI – I’ve been posting every day this week since I haven’t been working; scroll down to see all of my posts from this week. I will post my regular Self Care Sunday blog tomorrow morning instead of later tonight.  After tomorrow’s post, I will be taking a break from writing for a few days.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Self Care is an act of surrender

surrenderToday is Friday and I’ve been off from work most of the week. I started an antibiotic for my Sinuses and Ears yesterday. I had to wait a couple of days for my tummy to settle down a bit before starting it. I think it’s already working because I am starting to cough stuff up. My plan for today is to just take it easy and let my body heal. I can’t do any more than I am doing. So, I just have to take care of myself and go for the ride.

The Engineers working on the brick outside of my unit are doing a water test this morning to see if any water gets in. They will be in my unit and on my balcony for a few hours this morning. I am glad they are doing it. My unit will be the first done and I will know for sure they are fixing the leak properly because we only get one shot at this. It’s a big expensive job. The Condo Association did an assessment to pay for it. My building currently has two assessment on top of regular condo fees and I heard there may be a third. This is why I would never buy in this building. It’s an old building that needs a lot of repairs.

A note about my Social Media presence. Self Care in the digital era has to include good hygiene and self care on Social Media. I deleted my Facebook account last year. I do not even miss it. Guess what? I could care less what my old grade school classmates are up to. I don’t give a crap what girls I went to high school with are doing now. Most of the stuff on Facebook is bullshit anyway. No one really posts truth. Facebook lacks authenticity and they are manipulating people, basically doing mind control with algorithms. If you don’t believe me, there are plenty of documentaries on PBS, Amazon, You Tube and Netflix to back me up. Here’s one:

I have an Instagram account because I like the pictures and I do find some inspirational stuff on there that I use for this blog. I recently made the account private/locked as I do not want to grow the account any further but if you’d like to follow it, the handle is @HighestGoodLife222

I like Twitter. I have a small Twitter account for writing and holistic wellness that is attached to this blog in the right side bar. I try to keep that account Vanilla and on topic. I am not actively trying to grow the account. I do have a larger political Twitter account under a fake name. It’s my rage against the Administration account. I am not trying to grow but it seems to be happening organically. The handle is @highestgoodlife

As I work my way through this flare up of physical issues, I will admit it’s given me an opportunity to reflect. I looked at my food diary and I must admit I was cheating ALOT. I’ve been physically active and doing good with my spiritual work but my food choices have not been good lately. The Low FODMAP Diet is the best lifestyle for my gut. I feel my best when I stick to it. It’s restrictive but I do normally feel good and avoid IBS flare-ups (bloating) when I stick to it. It’s funny because folks always tell people to eat raw veggies to be healthy but in my situation large quantities of raw veggies are undigestible and rot in my gut.

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The truth is I was out of balance. This hard stop was going to happen eventually. It’s good it happened now before I start the new job when I had a week to surrender. I had a conversation this morning with my new team/boss. I already know what my focus will be next week and I am scheduled to go to DC on Thursday for my face to face 1:1 meetings. For now – I am resting and focusing on self care.

ICYMI – I’ve been posting every day this week since I haven’t been working; scroll down to see all of my posts from this week. I will post again on Saturday and my regular Self Care Sunday post.

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Strength

Screen Shot 2019-08-01 at 8.18.59 AMIt’s strange. I went to the Chiropractor yesterday. He told me he already had five patients this week with Upper Trap tightness with tummy issues and fatigue. He was wondering if a virus is going around. Honestly, that would be good. Viruses leave as quick as they come when they are done.

It definitely feels like my body is trying to clear something. I have other muscle pains too and I am runned down. It’s frustrating. I felt good for a while and last couple of weeks really are knocking the crap out of me. I can’t find a comfortable way to sleep. It’s frustrating because I start a new job on Monday and I would like to be 100%. I have nothing planned for the next four days and will be focusing on taking care of myself. I have to find a balance because my body doesn’t like too much rest. I need to move a little too. I also wondering if Menopause is playing a role in this and it probably is an Autoimmune Flare up. UGH….All I can do is relax, take care of myself and ride the wave. Work will be fine. It’s a new job but with folks who know me and even though I haven’t started the job officially yet I have been participating in meetings even this week from home.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my hair lately mostly because I am happy my hair is healthy again. Having healthy hair is not vanity it also speaks to self confidence and self image.  I’ve always believed it doesn’t matter how you feel as long as you look good.  That means if I am sick, I don’t want to look sick.  Many don’t realize I cut my hair short a few years ago because I had Alopecia and it was falling out. I have autoimmune system issues. I really never know how it will manifest. The hairstylist told me my bald spots would be less noticeable if my hair was shorter. It took a long time for my scalp to heal. I started growing my hair out because it started coming in curly and thicker. It’s finally at a length I can pull it back a bit. While I am still not sure what length I want to keep it long term, I am keeping it red. Here are some photos of my hair over the years. I think the best length for me is somewhere between the chin and shoulder. Check out the below photos and let me know what length you like 😄

The below photo is from Atlantic City’s St. Patrick’s Day 2010💚OMG, what a fun day! My hair was longer, thick, curly and healthy! I was drinking Jameson and Miller Lite all day.  I was in good form most of the day.  My best friend’s husband cut us both off around 9pm  🤣

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This photo was taken in April 4, 2015. One day before I cut it short.
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This photo was taken on April 6, 2015.  The day I cut it short.

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This photo was taken in 2017 on my 50th birthday.

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This photo was taken in June 2019 after I dyed my hair red.

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(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Dog Days Of Summer

Pitbull Rescue
Since I am off from work this week, I am going to try to write a little each day. I will use my blog as a daily journal entries more or less.

I want a dog!  🐶 I wanted to rescue a Pit Bull specifically but I live in a high-rise and can’t have a dog over 25 pounds in this building.  I love living in a condo in a high rise. It’s so convenient and safe.  Unfortunately, that means for now I am getting my Pit Bull puppy loving from my great nephew dog and sticking with high-rise living. Please see the below link to the a Pit Bull Rescue Organization and below is a photo of my nephew asking me for a slice of ham🐶😍

Pit Bull

May I have some ham please Aunt Linda?

http://pitbull.rescueme.org/NewJersey

Next, I went to the doctor yesterday with a list of issues one of which is a strained trap muscle. The doctor talked me into trying a small dose of muscle relaxer at bedtime last night to see if it helped. As the drug started to take affect, I felt like I had no control over my body and I started to get anxiety. Seriously, I started freaking out. Here is the reason I became anxious when I started feeling strange, I live alone. There is no one here to help me if the drug has a bad affect. There is no one here to talk me off the ledge at 1:00am when I am feeling like maybe I can’t breathe asking myself is it anxiety or is it a reaction to the drug. It was a long night. I survived😂 I will not be taking it again. I will deal with the pain. The muscle will eventually work it’s way out and I have a massage scheduled for Friday.

I also talked to the doc about a recent flare up of stomach issues. Let me just say, I OWN this one. As I was talking to her, I realized I did it to myself. I expanded my diet too far. As she started asking me about my diet recently, I said something about eating raw veggies. She started tapping on her laptop and then said, “since you have Pancreatic Enzyme Deficiency you don’t have the juice in your gut to digest raw veggies. They will just sit there and rot. A salad once in a while is ok, but you can’t eat raw every day and especially don’t eat them at dinner!” That’s when she started laughing. Apparently, I looked guilty. Yes, I have been poisoning myself with raw veggies. I can’t make this shit up. I’ll be on a bland diet for a few weeks until I get my gut settled down.

That’s all for today. I will write again tomorrow.
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Staycation Starts Today ~ July 30th

staycation

The past week or so has been a challenging self care week. Mostly because I was resisting and pushing my body when it just needed me to slow down.

I start a new job on Monday, August 5th. I went into work yesterday (Monday) morning and realized I had nothing to do all week. All of my work was already transitioned to other people. I was chatting with my coworker who sits next to me. She said, “If I were you, I would be taking the opportunity to take a few days off to rest and relax before jumping into the new job next week!” It took me less than a minute to realize she was right. I reached out to current and new managers for approval to take off the rest of the week; all approved. I am off from work until when I start my new job on Monday, August 5th.

Yes, I am on a staycation of sorts but I also need to use this time to rest, heal and take care of myself. I am still healing an Upper Trapezius muscle injury. After having a migraine this weekend and having a small fever, I realized I have a sinus issue. I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon. So, yes. I am off from work this week focusing on rest, beach, pool, sleep and decompressing before jumping into a fire next week.

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I’d like to remind folks, that good stress is still stress. Accepting a new job (good stress) is very exciting but it has also been stressful navigating the process. The process took three months – three months. The body doesn’t know the difference between good and bad stress. It just knows it’s stressed. Sustained stress takes a toll on the body. Eventually the body will react. My body reacted to good stress with muscle tension which set me up for a pull Upper Trap Muscle. My body reacted to good stress with a migraine. I was putting pressure on myself to ramp up in the new job while also transitioning out of the old job. It was too much. I was doing more than anyone expected of me. This is an accurate depiction of my spirit guides rolling their eyes as I repeat that same lesson over and over again without learning it🤣

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One other thing that has been causing me some stress is the exterior work being done on my building. One of the units on the corner is mine. The bad news is they are doing the work to fix a water leak issue in my unit. The smell of mold and mildew when they started the work was intense and nauseating. I bought a product to help with it and that contributed to the headache. I threw it out and have air purifiers running 24 hours a day now. The good news is the worst is over. They removed all of the affected materials and the smell is gone. Once the exterior work is done, the interior dry wall has to be pulled down and my carpet has to be cleaned or removed. I will probably stay in a hotel during that week or hopefully be in DC for work. The other good news is once all of this done the air quality in my unit will be healthier. I actually looked at a couple of condos for sale in another high rise on the bay last week. I would have to take a loan from my 401K to buy it. Not sure how I feel about that. So, I haven’t done anything yet.

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Today’s plan is to do NOTHING – until I go to doctor’s this afternoon. I hope to write more this week but I have no idea what I will be doing every day. I suspect I will be sitting by the pool a lot. My immediate goal is only to get rid of the headache and fever right now.
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

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Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved