Self Care Sunday ~ Listen to Bob

The craziness of the my first seven weeks in a new job are starting to settle down. I gave a presentation to a senior executive earlier in the week. She was out of the office but still wanted to talk to me so I had to do it over the phone instead of in person. It went very well and it seems to have gotten the fire I walked into under control. I was getting IMs from manager saying that “I was KILLING IT” as I was speaking. I am sure they were all glad I was “KILLING IT” because it’s been their butts our leader has been lighting up for the seven weeks – not mine🔥 I am too new 🤣  It feels like I passed a stress test this week and things will temporarily level out for a bit… Folks told me it was a good sign she didn’t ask me to brief her weekly. Apparently, if she asks you to brief her weekly for 15 or 30 minutes, you are in hot water 🤣🔥I know how she rolls. She won’t let the pressure off for very long but I will certainly enjoy this temporary release.

On another work topic, I am thinking about proposing another student competition. This time geared towards engineering and coding – A Coding Competition. We give a hypothetical scenario & they compete to fix it or build it. The winner gets an mentoring, internship, job, etc…😊By doing it we get to see their skills & engage them in the industry & gives them street cred with coders. My problems are…the red tape at my work will make getting this approved complicated – doable but complicated. Also, my current program is running two high profile stand-up initiatives simultaneously that need to come in close to “on schedule” – I doubt I’ll get approval to host this kind of challenge now.  We are in the process of hiring dedicated staff but I don’t have them yet. It is Workforce Development but not technically in my scope or my current area of focus – maybe I’ll hand the idea off to someone🤔

I would like to change gears… I’ve been writing a lot of career stuff in the last few Self Care Sunday posts. Today, I want to focus my energies on relationships. I am a relationship builder. I prefer one to one connections. I am not really comfortable engaging in large groups. I like to connect with people personally with eye contact. I like to understand who they are, what motivates them, how they tick. I like talking one to one people because I like to take the time look into their eyes to see their soul and hear what they can’t or aren’t saying in words.

fullsizeoutput_5c0

Well, I guess a dam broke in my relationships this week too because I found myself expressing my feelings of “missing” instead of holding back. It was so strange. I felt the words and emotions ready to burst out of my chest into the air all last weekend into Monday morning. I couldn’t focus because I was so called to express my feelings. I wanted to give my feelings life, energy and a voice. My Throat and Heart Chakras we’re getting jammed up holding it back. It had to be released so I could align my Chakras⭐️ All I am going to say is…I am so thankful I did it. It was such a wonderful release to express it to him and to feel the genuineness of our connection light up my heart 💙🔥 I felt aligned after doing it 😊

fullsizeoutput_5be

I drove my 80 year old Mother all over Northeast Philly doing her errands today. She was wearing five shades of bright hot pink with grey sneakers – nothing matched😂I said, “What’s with the get-up? Why not white sneaks with clashing pinks?”😂She said, “I am old. I can wear whatever I want and sneakers don’t have to match the outfit…Let’s go!” 😂 It reminded me of “Warning” by Jenny Joseph. I first read “Warning” when I was in my 20s. My Mother has apparently embraced the philosophy😂 I’d like to think I’m to stylish to do it but who knows what will happen when I am old and wear five shades of hot pink with grey sneakers 😂

Warning by Jenny Joseph

Warning by Jenny Joseph

Have any dams broke in your life recently or did you finally say IDGAF? Did you get over a hurdle? Remember that – Some things are meant to be. Some things are meant to be yours. Some people are meant to be in your life. Love is meant to be yours. And, yes, sometimes we need to trust our intuition and follow the call of the voice within rather than using the logic of the mind. Trust me when I tell you, our minds will f**k us over every chance it gets with over thinking simple shit. Our minds will tie us into knots of expectation and guilt.

Our spirit and our heart, on the other hand, will always try to set us free – we just have to answer the call. Have you answered the call of your spirit or listened to your heart recently? As for me, I’m listening to Bob. I am loving someone – I got my eye on sexy ass Blue Love – GRRR! 🤣💙🦋✌️😘🔥

Joey Tribbiani Flirt GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Self Care Sunday – Don’t Give Up

change-is-painful-verse
Did you ever get exactly what you wanted and realized that it’s not what you thought it would be? Did you ever make a big decision and take a leap only to find yourself in more uncertainty than you were before you made the decision?
img_1145
I think I am beginning to see this discomfort is part of the process of changing to into a new version of myself. Major shifts in our lives require us to change, grow, surrender and perhaps let go of who we think we are and discover who we are meant to be in the future.

I transitioned into a new job six weeks ago. Truly it could be my dream job. It could be the job the Universe has been grooming me to step into for the last 15 years of my life. I can see everything I’ve done over these years being steps needed for this job today. As great and idealist as that sounds, it hasn’t been without drama. Seriously, these folks somehow managed to f**k up my dream job by making it so complicated. It’s been a really rough start; so rough – I considered walking away because I just can’t be this stressed out and anxious every day.

Frustration, fear, uncertainty and woman inside of me that likes to tell people to f**k off rose up in me in the last week. I reached out to my former bosses to explore returning to my old organization. I met with two of my former bosses on Thursday afternoon. Instead of getting a new job offer, they tagged team mentored me. They also offered to continue mentoring me. By the end of the meeting we agreed, I am not done with my dream job yet. I need to keep trying. They told me if I am still stressed out and if my health starts to be affected after two more months, they will offer me a job but for now they will not let me walk away from my dream job. They think I will regret walking away; it’s too soon.
Screen Shot 2019-09-14 at 8.16.11 AM

Concurrently to meeting with my former bosses, I decided I just didn’t give a f**k and sent a note to a leader about the challenges/roadblocks I am hitting standing up the program. I found out Friday morning she interceded on my behalf. Soooo, I here I go again. I am briefing directors on Monday morning on the challenges and asking them for help. I am then having a meeting with the senior leader on Thursday to update her on the plan to move forward. It’s really exhausting but if I can get some roadblocks lifted, I may actually be able to move this forward and have some breathing room. Somehow I managed to professionally throw folks under the bus — but let me tell you this. This program would not move forward if I didn’t do it. Period! Gotta do what you gotta do! It’s my responsibility and I am not going down on this ship.

Let’s also remember, I now have a level of responsibility and accountability I’ve never had before. Being this exposed is new to me. Standing up a program this “BIG” is a huge task and I AM the leader. HOLY CRAP! Yep, I woke up to find myself getting exactly what I asked the Universe for yet was unprepared to get it. I am not really sure how I thought it was going to be but it’s definitely different than I thought it would be. That’s ok. Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s not what I am meant to do. I created a false narrative and glorified it my head. How could it ever live up that expectation?

The reality is I could have a huge impact on the future of our company and industry in this position. I could give folks opportunities to do work they would not receive otherwise. I could change lives. It’s everything I asked for and wanted. Yes, I found my purpose and a passion but it came wrapped in drama and fear. Most importantly, I have to change for this next chapter of my career. As I wrap my head around this, I am starting to settle into this new me. I have no idea what’s going to happen as I move forward with this but I am not giving up on my dream job just yet.

I woke up with a headache right between my eyes which I am thinking is allergies – it’s ragweed season or it could be that my jaw has been clenched for a week. I have my own health issues, an 80 year old mother who lived an hour and half away from me who needs more help and my family who think I should be up there more on the weekends. But everything is fine – really 😂

Have you made a big change in your life recently and found yourself saying “Dear Universe, What the f**k now?” Believe me, I know the feeling. Take an opportunity to tune into your inner wisdom. Perhaps talk to a trust friend or mentor. Don’t be afraid to explore different paths. Let go of expectations because nothing ever lives up to our high expectations and illusions. Work towards adjusting to your new reality and find a new path forward. Most of all, have the courage to let go of what no longer serves you. You were brought to this very moment in your life for a reason so trust that everything is always working out for your highest good.

This seems like a good song for today!

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Reunion ~ Blue Love Poetry

Lovers Painting by Dabin Lee

Lovers Painting by Dabin Lee http://www.saatchiart.com

Reunion ~ Blue Love Poetry
I close my eyes
And reunite with
Your beautiful soul
I am here
To remind you
Our connection
Is pure
Our connection
Is love
You are loved

Tune into
The rhythm of my heart
And find reassurance
I haven’t left you
I am here
I am in your your heartbeat
I’m not leaving you
I am here
In your long exhale
I am here
I’m still yours
Reunite with me
With your thoughts

From this place
Of love
I strengthen you
I comfort you
And I hold you
In my loving arms
Thankful for our reunion

Our flame
Burns as bright today
As it did
The first time
You made me wet
With arousal
Our flame
Burns as bright today
As it did
When we sat
Across from each other
Smiling
Eye to eye
Our flame
Burns as bright today
As it did
The last time
I looked into
Your beautiful eyes
And told you
I couldn’t say good-bye
Remember how
You reassured me
You reminded me
I would see you
And now
I am reassuring
You today
We will reunite
You will talk with me
You will see me
You will hold me
You will kiss me
You will fuck me
You
My dear Blue Love
Will be with me again
Take a moment
To reunite with me
In your heart
Connect your heart
To mine
And let’s create
Our reunion
Today
Create a new beginning
With me
As friends and lovers
Close your eyes
My dear Blue Love
And reunite with me
Tonight in our dreams
I am waiting
For you
Come home
To me
Come home
To love

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Self Care Sunday ~ Uncertain Times

fullsizeoutput_571
It’s 10:00am on Saturday morning. I am still in my nighty, robe & fuzzy slippers. I am sipping my second cup of coffee in deep thought about life and this crazy job I’ve been in for five weeks now.

During challenging or uncertain times I find it comforting to remember what is meant for me will never miss me and what misses me was not meant for me. It’s comforting to me because it reminds that every experience, good or bad, has a purpose in our lives. It’s up to us to dig within ourselves through introspection to find the meaning or purpose and then use that knowledge to change, grow and adjust.

I’ve been in this new job for five weeks. As far as jobs go, it’s a four alarm fire and I am not even joking when I say that. It has wide political implications and it’s on our industry’s radar. I got my first “inquiry” from the folks who give us money this week 😳 I heard I should expect a lot of them. The external pressure is going to grow as the year goes on. Fortunately for me I’ve only been here five weeks so none of the heat is hitting me right now. My leaders know I am the one trying to put out the fire while navigating political landmines. The reality is the strategic planning and stakeholder engagement work that is needed to stand up this type of program with this type of reach should have been done three to six months ago. They should have secured support and buy-in from their high level counterparts long before I got here. They should have already done a Market Survey or a Public Meeting around the early part of the summer to collect the data I am trying to collect now. Someone dropped this ball on this and they dropped it hard…Now, the problem is valuable time was lost in the schedule so leaders are trying to execute without a solid foundation or stakeholder buy-ins. It’s a hot mess.  I’ve been saying this since the day I got here. They haven’t wanted to hear it and thought I didn’t know what I was doing at first🤣  The good news is legal, contracts and the experts all agree with my assessment and legal in conjunction with contracts has put a stop to things while it’s sorted out which gives me breathing room. I think someone could seriously take a hit on this.  That’s not me being dramatic; it’s me knowing who the external stakeholders are.  It won’t be me who takes the hit.  Staff members at my level rarely bare the burden but trust me the big wigs are strategizing to not catch the blame or own the risk. Some have called it “dog eat dog”; I think it is more like the “Hunger Games” 🤣Seriously, the drama in my last job had nothing on this…🤣🤣

So, how does one work in a situation this volatile? It hasn’t been easy. It’s been one fire drill after another. In a sense, I am a firefighter without water.  Believe me when I tell you, the biggest explosion could still come from external stakeholders unless someone is really good at playing the game. Right now, I am observing how leaders work the politics around this and hoping to learn something from them.

odds

The good news for me is that I’ve received excellent feedback from everyone I’ve work with and they respect my ability to be professional and level headed in difficult situations. That’s the “Relator – or Relationship Builder” in me. But I don’t trust any of them… Not one! It’s just words and bullshit to get me stay. My protection is that I only started five weeks ago and I’ve intentionally demonstrated in multiple briefings that the schedule was blown three months ago. Remember, according to strengthfinders.com, strategic is my #1 strength 🤣 For now, I am just putting my head down and staying focus on my strategic planning and start up action items. It’s the only way to get through the day and stay out of the drama. I’ve also been in contact with my former bosses to pursue other career options just in case it becomes too uncomfortable. I do find comfort in knowing the experts back me up and I’ve already earned the complete support of the my team in just these five short weeks. That either demonstrates that my assessment from day one was right all along or that I have strong leadership abilities. Perhaps it’s both. I would say the style of leadership I try to emulate is “Servant Leadership”.

SERVANT_LEADERSHIP

What I’ve learned about myself in these five weeks is interesting. I’ve learned that I can lead a diverse team on a complicated task. I’ve learned that I can effectively control meetings to stay on topic and keep the meeting productive. I’ve learned I am good at delivering unpleasant information to leaders 🤣This is truly a skill…No joke ✌️ I’ve learned I am intellectually capable of this job. I’ve learned I have the skills and ability to operate at this level. Honestly, I still say the role of a “Senior Advisor” to a leader or leadership team is the right type of role for me and I would be totally up for that type of role instead of this hot mess 🤣 Hmm, wonder if my former GM needs a Senior Advisor with my unique skill set? The most enlightening thing I’ve learned about myself in these five weeks is that I am now better at managing my holistic wellness than I used to be💙I’ve learned that I really don’t give a f**k if I stay in this job. Most importantly, I’ve learned this decision will really come down to me listening to my body and honoring my body’s needs. I am not the same person I used to be. My body is not as strong as it used to be. I need to be focused on protecting my long term health rather than meeting a milestone for someone who doesn’t give a f**k if I get sick in the process. They will replace me with someone who is willing to sacrifice themselves for the mission in short order.  Trust me, they won’t visit me in the hospital if I am down for the count as a result of pushing myself beyond my body’s limits. So, that is where I am right now. Stuck in uncertain times for sure!

uncertainity-1.jpg

The reason I took this job in the first place is because I could see ten years down the road in it. Ten years down the road I can say I was part of the team who stood this up and I was part of the team that had an impact on the workforce of our industry for years to come. If I can ride out this rough start up and if my leadership can find a way to protect me from the drama, we may be able to work it out. As of today, I just don’t know how to read the situation. I will say – I welcome the Universe to deliver a new opportunity to me that meets my holistic needs. To complicate the situation even more, my GM, who recruited me for this job and who is a personal friend, accepted a job in another organization. She will be leaving in a few weeks. I’ve known this is coming… It’s a good choice for her. The truth is if she didn’t find an exit ramp, she could catch the blame even though it’s really the Exec who dropped the ball by not making a timely decision…By her making the move now, she will be protected if the shit really hits the fan. It does, however, complicate the situation for me. I’m telling you – it’s been non-stop drama everyday and that’s why I am not sure if I have the energy to ride this out even though the long term goal is something I believe in 🤣

success

I am heading to the White House Initiative on Historically Black Colleges & Universities conference in DC this Sunday to Tuesday afternoon.  I am staying at the hotel I like so I can give myself some space from the conference activities. That’s self care. I plan to visit Newseum when I get there tomorrow and then grab dinner somewhere. The President will be at the conference on Tuesday. I am not sure I will still be there when he arrives or speaks 😉

Self Care this week has complicated. I’ve learned a lot about myself and whatever happens with this crazy work situation is fine by me. I am not the same person I used to be.  I now know my holistic wellness and my long term health are more important than a lofty goal or making a name for myself in my career. When I look at the situation this way, perhaps, this all I was supposed to get from his experience…

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Consent Of The King ~ Blue Love Poetry

fullsizeoutput_56d

So I want change the energy from my recent Self Care Sunday post where I explained that I have no f**ks to give about a work situation anymore🤣 I still don’t have any f**ks to give on that topic. I am still tip toeing around political land mines, waiting to see how things play out and still not enjoying myself. It’s time for me to switch my personal energy to attract something better. So my focus today is something that I do enjoy. Writing poetry for Blue Love. Today I call the sexy playful energy of the word f**k when used as verb as in – Fornication Under the Consent Of the King (F**k)😈🔥 That means it’s time for a sex poem for Blue Love…

Consent Of The King ~ Blue Love Poetry
Fornicate
With me
My King

I give you
Consent
To use
My body
As your release

It is only
In the divine light
Of your beautiful eyes
That I am aroused

I submit
My naked body
To your erotic fantasies
As a loyal subject
And adorning lover

My King
It is the
Sweetness of your face
I so desire
In these
Trying times
As I strategize
Against opponents
Who underestimated me
Yet emboldened
My self confidence

I’ve grown
Stronger
Since you last
Felt the love
Of my eyes
Locked with yours

Fornicate
With me
My King

I lay open
For your crown
To lay
My belly
After you
Take me
Under your command

I beg
To serve
At the pleasure
Of my king

Fornicate
With me
My King

Let me
Look into
Those beautiful
Blue eyes
While you
Fornicate
With me
My King

Signed,
Your loyal subject

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

How Many F&*&S Do I Give? NONE

c307da5469974315fde530eaa1adb960

WARNING: If the word F**K offends you, you might not want to read this post. I’m in a f**k it mood; there’s gonna be a lot of F**ks in this post… Buckle Up!

So to be clear, I am living by the words of Erika Jayne’s song “How many F**ks” where she has these insightful lyrics… “How many f**ks do I give? How many f**ks do I give? None! Zero! Not One!” And let me add, not even a little one do I give as of today or actually as of last night to be exact…
Screen Shot 2019-08-31 at 12.18.24 PM

If you read my blog regularly, you read my last Self Care Sunday post where I discussed the four alarm fire I ended up jumping into with the new job I started on August 5th. Since stepping into the role, I’ve found nothing but f**cked up shit all over the place as I’ve tried to avoid one political landmine after another. Let’s be clear. I worked ten days in a row, through the weekend with putting 12 hours days in this last week. In just this week alone, I spent two whole days locked in a conference room with a team of experts crafting a schedule, plan and a implementation strategy. I did four briefings to executives in three days. They all know what I was saying was true and fact but it wasn’t exactly what everyone wanted to hear.  However, the experts completely backed up my assessment – 💯!

Here’s some truth – I can only deliver the facts with my best and worst case scenario, that doesn’t mean any of them have to like it. Truth is truth… They didn’t believe me because I am new in this role. I may be new in this role, but I am not new to project management! Well, they eventually got behind me because they knew it was fact. However…here’s where the explosion happened…our senior leader lost her mind in the schedule because it was clear that they took too long to make a decision and lost time that can’t be made up. Again, I can only deliver truth based upon historical experience, lesson learned and contracting legal requirements and timelines. I can’t make her like it or make the timeline fit what she already committed to before she understood the process to set up a new grant program. And, this is where I started to lose my f**ks with this situation…
Screen Shot 2019-08-31 at 12.39.45 PM

I was instructed to march towards the most aggressive highest risk schedule and “to make it happen”. In other words, own the risk…Um, girfriend – we got a problem because I am not owning your risk! For me to make it happen, I will be working seven day a week for the next year and many of the milestones on the critical path require actions from others that will be out of my control. Yep, we got a problem and it’s not me. I’ve been in the job four weeks. They needed to be working the early actions on this stand up activity three months ago to complete it by September 30, 2020. I get that her butt is on the line, but so is my mental and physical health. I will not put my holistic wellness on the line for this. Nope – not giving one f**k!

Screen Shot 2019-08-31 at 12.21.50 PM.png

Funny how God and Universe looks out for me. Just as I finished my third brief to directors in three days, I bumped into my former boss in the hallway. I was tired and you could see it. He asked me how I was making out. I told him the truth. His exact words were, “Linda, you don’t have to do that. I care about your health and this isn’t going to be good for you. You should not own that pressure. Give it some thought and reach out to me if you want explore options to come back. Come home.”😢

I was supposed to be off on Friday but ended up working three hours. After having a really open conversation with one of my current managers, she said she understood this is not what I signed out for and then she added, “Linda, I don’t think I am going to be able to offer you any protection from “her” on this. I’m not sure what’s going on. Think about that over the weekend and we will talk again on Tuesday.”  She was trying to tell me something without officially telling me it.  After spending an hour crying because I was so f**king stressed out and overwhelmed, I reached out to my former boss and told him I was ready to explore options to “come home”. He is going to put something together for me to consider. It was the first moment I felt like I could catch my breath in ten days.

The interesting thing about this is… I think my gut instinct has been telling me to get out of this for weeks. I talked with my Mom and my sister and both reminded me that my IBS flare up didn’t start until week I accepted the new job. They invited me to a meeting the day after I signed the paperwork and that’s when I got my first glance that there could be a problem with the schedule. Guess what, after I sent my former boss that text message on Friday morning, it’s weird, but I am no longer nauseous and the diarrhea stopped. My gut was sounding the red alert and I just thought it was an IBS flare up😜 So, you know what that means, I am out. One way or another, I am out and I DON’T GIVE A FUCK… Not one!  The sad thing is… this could have been my dream job. There is so much I love about this job but not under these circumstances. I can’t do it. I have some gut health issues and I see a specialist at Jeff in Philly every two months because I am high risk for stomach cancer. That’s my reality…That’s my priority…Living a whole year stressed out, would not be good for me.  I know this happened for some reason, I am just not sure what it is yet 🤣

Screen Shot 2019-08-31 at 12.19.08 PM

I will honor my obligation, be professional and work to best of abilities as long as I am in this role. However, it’s time to let go because it is no longer serving my highest good. Maturity happens when you reach a point of knowing a money, a promotion or a fancy title, isn’t worth your being stressed out and physically unhealthy. That’s when you know you woke the f**k up.

let go

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Self Care Sunday – This week was lit

best version

OMG! This week has been lit 🤣Holy Smokes! Let’s see…Where should I start…

I am starting to feel better. My tummy is finally settling down but that has been with the help of my favorite Functional Nutritionist who helped me figure out how to reset it. It’s now healing.   In my appointment with my nutritionist, he reviewed my blood work and showed me where I had subtle deficiencies but were clinical insignificant so the doctor and have been untreated. He also explained what was happening in my gut from clinical perspective.  He reviewed three days of my food log to help identify trigger foods. He reviewed all of my medications and supplements to see if one of them could cause problems. He gave me a plan to follow, as best I can, for the next three weeks to reset the gut. At the end of the day, it’s about eating what I can digest.

digestion
Here are some of the recommendations he made:

✳️In 32 ounces of water – add 1 teaspoon of Glutamine Powder (Amino Acid) along with one Okra sliced in half. Let it sit over night. He told me to make two of these each night and drink both the next day. The Amino Acid and Okra will soothe and heal the gut naturally. It’s working 😄

✳️Limit Diary temporarily and I am already Gluten Free

✳️Eat more refined foods – just for three weeks so I don’t have to work so hard to digest. Who knew baked chicken is hard to digest???

✳️He gave a list of foods that easy to digest and he told me if I cheat, to take a digestive enzyme. For example, the easiest to digest beans are Cannelini and Kidney but must be cooked. Hummus is ok but no raw beans like Chick Peas

✳️I’m already taking 5K Vitamin D. I will continue that. But I am also slightly deficient in Vitamin B-12 and Folate. So, I am now using sublingual supplement with each in it to bring the levels up. I asked why do I keep getting deficient. He explained metabolic stress and having a stomach that burns too hot means I can’t absorb them properly.

✳️I already take 200 Magnesium Glyclinate each night

✳️He gave me Turmeric w/o black pepper for pain – No CBD yet but I am still hoping for legalized 420 in my state🙏 My life goal =  “a toker, a smoker, a midnight joker” Well, not really but it’s good for pain relief and anxiety. I don’t plan to be a burn out ✌️

✳️And a new bio-identical multi-vitamin

✳️So, this what I am doing for the next three weeks. If you are interested in an appointment with Steven Chang, you can find him at Essential Elements NJ He’s in Northfield, NJ but does phone consultations.

Now, let’s talk about work…HOLY FUCKING SMOKES! It was lit this week!come-thru-its-lit-meme
So, I stepped into a new program two weeks ago and found it was totally fucked up. My first briefing I talked truth to power and said what I had to say. I let folks know I was not sticking around if it wasn’t fix…SOOO, my senior leader blew it up in a “Come to Jesus Meeting”🔥 She told them straight up when she walked in to buckle up because it was going to be unpleasant 🤣 I can’t even tell you how much I respect her for her balls. She blew it up! I mean she light a match and set her leadership team on fire🔥I knew something happened Thursday afternoon when the frantic chaos started. Well, I’ve been getting a lot of attention since ☺️🤣✌️ Hey, gotta do what you gotta do. I am not even a little bit sorry that I kept things real in that meeting.  I will sooner go back to old job and take a demotion before I will be responsible for stepping into a mess that is already two months behind schedule yet was being managed by an Exec 👊I just got here two weeks ago. in additional to all hands on deck I also got an Executive Coach to help me transition to this new level of popularity 🤣 I hit the pillow like a ton of bricks on Friday night but I was woken up around midnight by a deliciously “felt like real life” sex dream with Blue Love laying back and enjoying a good ride with me🔥🥰
what-if-i-told-you-that-dreams-can-come-true

So, it’s Saturday and I’ve already worked on a briefing for Monday and had a telcon. I will be doing a pre-brief tomorrow followed by re-briefing directors Monday. My GM will brief the Senior Leader on Wednesday. They decided to keep me out of that hot seat because the mess isn’t my fault but I’ve been working all week to fix it.  I am starting my briefing on Monday morning by saying, “Let me share my vision for the program…Imagine if we could give school districts money to implement education curriculum in aviation, to become pilots, engineers, aerospace engineers and aircraft mechanics in high schools? Imagine the reach we would have into the younger generation. Now, let me explain how we are going to get there with your commitment and support…”. My GM has been coaching me through this whole process. I just LOVE her and I love how honest and direct we speak to each other while respecting our rules of engagement.  Here are a few rules of engagement for the workplace just in case you need them.

rules_engagement

To implement some self care this weekend, I dropped off a call at 7:45am so I could walk up to Brittany’s Cafe(my local coffee/breakfast shop) to have breakfast with my 74 year neighbor/buddy. I abruptly had to stand up and say, “Well, I gotta go because I have an emergency brewing and I am not sure I trust the plumbing here”. He busted out laughing and said, “Defcom 3 or 4?” 🤣 So, you can see my belly hasn’t completely settled down yet. I am going a pool party at my former roommate’s house this afternoon and most likely will working Sunday morning to do a pre-brief (practice walk through) with my GM for Monday. It’s all good. After Wednesday this should settle down and I am thankful they recognized I was right after they did their own fact finding and corroborated my assessment.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Show Me Who You Are ~ Blue Love Poetry

IMG_1074

Show Me Who You Are – Blue Love Poetry
I want to
Know the man
Not the persona
From our past
I want to sit with
Your pain
I want to swim
In your happiness
I want to know
The man
Without the illusions
You will know me
Stripped down
Read me
As an open book
Savor my words
Linger in my depth
Slowly
Turn the page
In your life
To my loving face
So our eyes
Meet once again
I want to know
Behind the voice
I so love
And know
The man you’ve
Become since
Letting go
Of who you used to be
I want to
Know the man
As you are today
Unshaven
Unshowered
In raw sexuality
Come rest
Where you belong
Against my body
In the comfort
And acceptance
Of my legs
Open wide
To welcome
You home
To our connection
Where your
Heart is
I want to
Know the man
You’ve become
In the light
Of the summer sun
Show me
Who you are now
And I will
Let you in
My world
Show me
The man behind
Beautiful blue eyes
That captured
My heart and spun
Around my soul
Come show me
The man you
Are today
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

NOTE This love poem for Blue Love. I wrote it during lunch while I sat outside in the sun for a few minutes soaking in some natural vitamin D; I am supposed to be taking 5000 of vitamin D each day and getting natural sun to help bring my blood levels up.

This is the third week of my new job. Wow! it’s a brain breaker🤣 Plus I am still not feeling great. My tummy is improving; I am just exhausted with muscle and joint pain. This is how these flare-ups go. It also could be that my Vitamin D level is still in the toilet.  If the flares go on for too long, I start getting the autoimmune response. I have an appointment with a clinical nutritionist tomorrow after work. I am looking into using CBD oil for pain since I can’t take a freaking Advil. Let me tell ya, if I was retired, I would be lighting ’em up – smoking pot – for sure! While I am not drug tested in my job, pot is still illegal in my state. Can’t wait until it’s legal or I retire. It also makes me horny – so if Blue Love wants to stop by… 😍 🤣

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Self Care Sunday ~ Wisdom from my Gut

fullsizeoutput_50a

I’ve been thinking a lot about the notion that everything I am going through is preparing me for what I want…If you read my last post, you know I am in the middle of chronic IBS/Gastritis flare-up and started a new high-profile job at the same time. The flare started about 10 days before I started the new job and before I knew how crazy the new job would be.

I had a CT Scan yesterday to check my Abdomen and they also did a scan on my Aorta because my father, who died at 41 years old, had an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm(AAA). I do not believe I have an AAA. My GP felt I was going to be there anyway, we may as well check for it now since I do have a family history. My sister is having her Aortic scan next week. My brother has a pacemaker so he’s already had the scan and my other sister had a blood clot so she’s already had the scan too.  I believe this IBS flare started because stress and poor food choices but I haven’t had the space to really do good self care for it because I started the new job and it is CRAZY. So, this weekend I am giving my body a full complete STOP🛑I may go grocery shopping and may stop in Boscov’s for new slippers but that’s probably about it.

So, let me talk about the new job. Driving the Karma Bus would truly be my dream job🤣Shit, being the person who delivers Karma to negative forces would totally be the best job ever✊🤣
fullsizeoutput_4fe

But, I need to work in real life and in real life, this could truly be my dream job. Setting up a fully funded grant program is a career I never thought I would ever find with my current company. I am fortunate the Universe put me in the position to take advantage of the opportunity. Here’s where I am getting heartburn. I found out this week from our Gov Affairs office that my ENTIRE leadership team knew this was coming for over ten months but they debated and discussed it for so long they put us behind the eight ball.  I actually think the divisions were playing a game of HOT POTATO – no one wanted it🤣 Ten months ago I was in a temporary assignment working on a grant program for them. I could have been building this for months. Instead, I didn’t start working on it until August 5th with my first HUGE deliverable in October. The problem is Gov Affairs, Legal and my Leadership still do not agree on the interpretation of the language that I am working to execute. My frustration is I feel they should have had those conversation before I even came on board  – come on, they were kicking this can for months before I got here. It’s fucked up…#truthtopower

I was called to a meeting on Thursday and that’s when my dam broke. Something happened in the meeting and I starting talking REALITY to them. “Sorry but your milestone chart and timeline are aggressive and perhaps unrealistic given you just pulled me over ten days ago and October is only six weeks away.” There was dead silence in the room and on the phone when I said it – seriously – dead silence 🤣I didn’t even care – not even a little. It was the truth! I was completely honest about how I feel about the whole situation. Lol:-)  The old Linda would have never done that. I would have been too afraid to say how this was affecting me. Something changed in me in recently. I am now strong enough to enforce my boundaries and respectfully speak my truth, whatever that may be. I took my power back. I also started seeing how the situation was putting unjust pressure on me when the pressure should have belong above me. They’ve known for months this was coming; they could have pulled me over sooner. The situation is starting to affect my holistic wellness. That’s when I knew I had to say what I had to speak my truth and let the chips fall where they may.

Screen Shot 2019-08-17 at 9.20.50 AM.png

The reality is…if this promotion doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. I realized that I am not attached to this assignment. If I get demoted back to my previous level, it’s ok because no promotion is worth my holistic wellness. There’s freedom in non-attachment. The good news is I expressed myself truthfully and they heard me. They are already working to give me help and support. Actually I got 10 emails yesterday with research and support from Execs! The director who works locally reached out to me to offer support. I spoke to her Thursday night. I really respect her and have a great relationship with her. I can talk to her openly. She said, “Linda, this is a huge task. It’s BIG! Believe me, I understand. You need help. I have someone who can help you!”

Do not get me wrong. If we get through this rough start and get through the first milestone, this could be my actual dream job – that’s if I have to work for a living – independently wealthy is the ultimate life goal🤣 But it’s been a really rough start and it’s been more difficult because I am not physically 100%.

Often on weekends, I go to a cafe up the street from my apartment for breakfast. I sit next to my 74 year old neighbor and eat at the counter. I was telling him about job and stomach issue and he said, “There’s something Biblical about that. Overcoming adversity, learning your strength. Speaking your truth even though it could cost you! Take some time think about that and think about what that is teaching you about yourself!” Then he asked the question that really hit me. He asked, “If you were feeling 100%(you’re normal self), would you have agreed to the aggressive schedule even though you would have known it was not really achievable just because you were just promoted? Would you have pushed to make it happen and prove something to them and yourself?” UGH…If you know me, you know the answer to this question would have been, YES that’s what I do…After thinking about it — maybe not feeling well at the same time I started this job slowed me down and forced me to look at things and myself differently.  My current gut flare-up feels like my gut is telling me something.  It has also been a reminder to slow down and take care of myself first and to speak my truth.  That’s why I like talking to my 74 year old friend. He’s deep!  He makes me think about deep shit.
Screen Shot 2019-08-17 at 8.51.35 AM

Maybe this rough start and how I am handing it with leadership is showing them who I am and my ability to speak truth to power. Maybe they are seeing I have managerial courage. Perhaps they are learning that I won’t lie to them and I am wiling to take a hit in order to live in truth. This is still an awesome opportunity and perhaps now that we have been level set, things will proceed differently.  I want this to work out. I want it to be successful.  I will give them my best effort. I am, however, not willing to jeopardize my self care to make it happen…That’s the bottom line. My holistic wellness comes first. That’s some powerful self awareness right there.  My Spirit Guides would be proud I finally learned the lesson🤣  Yes, what I’ve done in work this week has been good self care and perhaps I will be an example to others. Now, let’s hope my gut gets the memo that I learned the lesson and starts to calm down.

Screen Shot 2019-08-17 at 7.40.42 PM

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

NOTE ICYMI – My last post was a Blue Love Letter. Scroll down to read it 💙

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

WTF, Seriously WTF…

Screen Shot 2019-08-15 at 7.04.35 PM.png

Today was the day! Today was the day I was about to scream, cry, shout and totally just let the dam break. Two things happened in my life at the same time and it’s not good. #WTF

I am having some pretty uncomfortable stomach issues. I’ve had chronic bloating in my abdomen, nausea, pain in the upper left, alternating constipation and diarrhea which also leads to dehydration. It’s wearing me out – I mean wearing me the fuck out. I’ve been thinking it’s a flare up of a chronic Gastritis and IBS which I’ve had a long time. It flares up on occasion. Normally, I can get it under control in a week or so. This has been going on for three weeks. I am doing everything I was told and everything I know how to do. I am taking the right meds, I am eating the right foods, I am getting lite exercise. I am deep breathing. I am sleeping. I am doing it all. It’s just not getting better and may even be getting worse. It’s really start to stress me out.

I went to my doc again this week and she told me it’s time for a CT Scan. I am off from work tomorrow so I am having it tomorrow at noon. She then told me she wrote the script to not only look at my tummy but also look at my whole chest with blood vessels as well as check for an Aortic Aneurysm because my father had one. I am not really freaked out about the Aneurysm thing. I do not think I have one. I had an echo cardiogram three years ago for it and I didn’t have one then. What I am freaked about is that I am just not getting any better and I am tired – beyond tired. I am inclined to believe it is gastritis because it hurts more when my tummy is empty. Gastritis can take six to eight weeks to resolve. Hopefully, I get an answer with the test and see improvement in the coming few days.

What’s even more stressful is that I started a new job last week in the middle of this flare-up. It’s my dream job; setting up a new fully funded grant program. But, it’s very very messy in the beginning and it’s on a timeline from congress. So, it’s high pressure. Imagine how I feel trying to do my best work feeling like I need to throw up most of the day. Imagine how it feels to worry while I am in meetings that I can’t focus because I am in pain, nauseous or uncomfortable but can’t tell anyone.I’ve been on the edge of tears some days.

So today I get an invitation at 12:00pm inviting me to brief our senior leader and three other Execs at 2:30pm this afternoon. WTF? Seriously, WTF? 🤣 They wanted just a quick status on where I am on the plan. They gave me two hours notice… I started 10 days ago. I am still meeting with legal, congressional aides, SMEs. I don’t even have support staff yet. WTF? Seriously, WTF? Well, I managed to pull something together. Honestly, I just let it fly. Said what I had to say…All I can say is the whole thing actually worked out pretty good because they clarified a few things, narrowed my scope a bit and gave me some latitude on the interpretation on language which will narrow my target audience. They said they will defend the choice because it made sense. I also told them not to hire anyone for me NEXT WEEK. Why would I want to bring someone I have to train and direct in while I am on a tight deadline. Instead I asked them to loan me two SMEs until the end of October who can help research and pull together a solicitation. Once I have the plan done, I’ll know what kind of support staff we need going forward. They liked that and I already got an email from someone saying they are all mine for the next two months. So the impromptu briefing actually worked out to my benefit.

All I can say is… Please let my stomach start calming down🙏 Please let there be no Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm🙏 Please let me start feeling better🙏 Please let me get the big giant cubicle on the fourth floor with window view 🙏🤣I have to move up there eventually, it would be nice to have a view.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC ~ All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good💙🦋

NOTE ICYMI – My last post was a Blue Love Letter. Scroll down to read it 💙

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search
DMCA.com Protection Status

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

fullsizeoutput_4f1