Fire Starter ~ Blue Love Poetry Repost

Art fire

It seemed like a good time to repost this poem. It was originally written for Blue Love on February 22, 2019. Notice the 222 in the date. Today is May 22, 2019. Also 222 in today’s date. 222s are divine timing, partnership, love & everything is always working out for your highest good. Everything will be just fine ✨💙🔥✌️
Let me start your fire 🔥

Fire Starter ~ Blue Love Poetry
May I
Light your fire
May I
Strike the match
To inspire you
With love, support and encouragement
To grow, expand and create

Won’t you come with me
On this journey
Of growth and
Self-discovery
Will you join me in
Exploring the depths
Of our souls
Will you create
Magic
Through the fire
Of my love for you
Will you
Excavate your truth
Through the warmth
Of my empathetic compassion
Can you reach and stretch
Stretch yourself
Beyond all of your
Imagined limits
To find
The highest good
Through your
Connection to me
Your soul
Was called to
Use my love
As a light
Use my fire
As your energetic force
Use me to inspire you
To break through
The comfortable limits
That restrict you
Use me to inspire you
To find out
How far you can reach

What if you
Were just now
Getting started

What if today
Was a new beginning
For us

What if today
We made a new Soul Contract
To love and help each
As we reach
For our
Highest Good Lives

What if
Today was the time
You were supposed
To breakout
Of darkness into
The brightest expression
Of God’s perfect love
For you
Through me

What if
My soul
Was sent
By your Guides to
Shine the light for you
And help you
Set your vision
On something bigger
Than you could ever image

I ask you
To opened yourself up
To all possibilities
And consider
What could you achieve
If you were limitless

May I
Light your fire
May I
Strike the match
To inspire you
To imagine a life without limits
Can you see it
Can you feel it

May I strike
The match
Of Creation
And Spark the
Fire of our desire
In you

May I be your
Fire Starter
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

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————————————

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
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Self Care Sunday May 19, 2019 – Part 2

Love is the answer quote

This is my May 19, 2019 Self Care Sunday Part 2. When I wrote Part I, I was not feeling inspired to write about any particular Self Care topic. After taking a long walk this morning and thinking about relationships a lot while I walked, I decided to write this Part II. So, when you get done reading this post about relationships, please scroll down and read Part I too 🙂

Having healthy relationships is considered to be a key component in practicing good Self Care. Honestly, I was bad at maintaining healthy relationships in years past. In years past, did not maintain or enforce proper boundaries. I was a giver to my own detriment. I allowed folks to take advantage of my loyalties. I assumed everyone would respect me and I naively believed love was the answer for all problems.

Massive changes swept though my life a few years ago. While I was spiraling through them, I was trying to keep all of my relationships status quo. Until the day I realized, my relationships were contributing to the problem. It wasn’t easy to step back and see what I accepted in life. It wasn’t easy to distance myself from unfulfilling relationships in my life. It wasn’t easy to choose me instead of them. It wasn’t easy but that critical act of self care, completely changed me and my life. I became stronger once I saw the truth in my life. The quality of all of my relationships greatly improved once I started exercising good self care in all interactions.

I can’t write about relationships without writing about my relationships with men in my life. At this time, I will give a warning that I am about to be really vulnerable and reveal the truth of who I am. I do so without fear or shame. I do so because it’s essential for me to live in authenticity.

Relationship with self

I am 100% heterosexual. I like men. I enjoy men. I am wildly attracted to Blue Love because of his boy next door down to earth demeanor. I also seem to be wildly drawn to the bright blue eyes and grey hair combo. But, the truth is I haven’t been very good in my relationships with men throughout my life mostly because I never learned how to do it.

My father died when I was seven. My mother was widowed at 36 years old with five kids and never remarried because she was so heartbroken. A male member of family abused me. I didn’t date in high school. I was pretty and popular in high school but I was also very reserved. I didn’t really let many people into my world. While many of my friends were losing their virginity, I waited until I was 21. I lost it to a narcissist. It took me years to break free from him. He attempted to make amends with me and rekindle our relationship 20 years ago but that day was the last day I spoke to him. I asked him to not contact me again and he’s respected that request.

My sister’s death in 1999 broke me in a way I can’t really explain. I spiraled through depression and reckless behaviors. I was in one casual relationship after another until about 2007. There was a man who was 17 years older than I am. I knew him socially. I will call him “Tom” but that’s not his real name. Well, “Tom” and I were wildly attracted to each other. I am still attracted to him. I truly believe we were soul mates. We were not the kind of soul mates that end up spending their lives together. We were the kind of soul mates that came into each other’s lives to help each other grow. The below quote from Elizabeth Gilbert explains how “Tom” and I were soul mates.
Elizabeth Gilbert Soul Mates

All I can really say is what happened between “Tom” and I wasn’t pretty. It was painful for both of us. I truly believe “Tom” loves me even today but he understood something that I wasn’t ready to see or accept until 2011…He knew we were on different speeds in life and love just wasn’t enough for our relationship to be successful. We wanted different things. And, well, I am a strong willed female and he’s an old school guy who likes to call the shots. That’s a recipe for dynamite between a man and women. We are both stubborn. It became a battle of the wills and both of us lost. We ended UGLY! It ended in a very pubic explosion between us. I haven’t spoke to him since I walked out that day on September 15, 2011.

I last saw “Tom” at my best friend’s funeral last year but I chose to maintain a distance. I didn’t speak to him or even go anywhere near him mostly because I don’t need to relive that drama. When it’s done, it’s done! But here’s the thing about “Tom”. It was because of “Tom” that I let go of the life I used to have. It’s because of “Tom” that I learned to see myself, love myself and accept myself. It’s because of “Tom” that I have the life I have today. While I have no desire to talk to “Tom” or have him in my life today, I will always love him and be grateful to him for helping me grow. Perhaps that was his purpose in my life. He was sent to me to help me grow. That’s why I think he was a soul mate.

In recent years, I’ve take a time out from relationships mostly because I needed to work on myself. I wanted to look at my life. I wanted to decided what I want. I wanted to ground myself in authenticity as Linda without anyone else to worry about.

Relationship self care

As I reflect on relationships, I know one thing to be true now. I am growth oriented. I will always need to grow in all aspects of my life. I may be 52 but that certainly doesn’t mean that I will be slowing down. I fully plan to take risks, try new things, learn new stuff and grow personally, professionally and spiritually until I take my last breath. Any man who chooses to be in my life as my partner now must be willing to approach life this way. And, in return, I will support and help him achieve his wildest aspirations. I will help him reach for the next level. I will help him strategize his next move. I will be his motivation when he is feeling uninspired. I will be the voice in his ear saying “I love you. You got this!”

There is one thing I know now for sure about relationships. “Tom” taught me that in a relationship both individuals must want to live life on the same speeds. One person can’t be growing while the other is standing still. It won’t work and it will be unfulfilling for both. I also need a guy who knows I am his equal. I am his match. While I like to be a submissive and uninhibited in the bedroom, outside of the bedroom I expect respect and to be treated as an equal. I also tend to be a direct communicator. I need to be able to respectfully say what I need to say. I don’t mind fighting. I am #DTF – that could mean Down To Fight or Down To F$*K depending on the situation. 😂🔥💙 I don’t mind going a few rounds just to air something out as long as we respect each other’s boundaries. If you act like an ass, you shall be called out for acting like an ass. But neither should hit below the belt and no fighting in public – PERIOD! I will not walk on rice paper for anyone anymore.

I really don’t need much to make me happy in a relationship. I need someone who is willing to grow, who treats me with respect as an equal, who enjoys sparing; doesn’t mind a woman who challenges him by keeping things real with honesty and truth. Most importantly, I need and want love in my relationships. I am not interested in companionship. I am perfectly fine being single. I enjoy my own company. I am not lonely. I do not need company just for the sake of not being alone. So, any man who wants to be in my life better be prepared to give and share affection – LOVE. He will be loved, hugged and adored and must love me in return. At the end of the day, I do still believe love is the answer for all problems.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – Pieces of Wisdom

Theodore Roosevelt Arena quote

I’ve had trouble writing this Self Care Sunday post today. I had a bit of writer’s block so I just wrote about keys pieces of wisdom I’ve learned in recent years…

The single most important thing for personal and spiritual growth is self-awareness. Seeing one’s self – witnessing both strengths and weakness – is powerful. When grounded in truth and self-knowledge, I am authentically strong and powerful.

While loyalty to others is important, none should come before my loyalty to myself. It’s essential to make choices that good for my holistic wellness. Make choices that support my well-being. I will make choices that honor my needs, wants and desires.

Loyalty quote

I am 100% responsible for my choices and actions. I accept responsibility.

I am 100% accountable for my choices and actions. I hold myself accountable.

I am equally responsible and accountable for my inaction. When I don’t make a choice, I am making a choice.

Missing an opportunity because I did not take action is my responsibility. It’s essential to prepare one’s self with education and development so when opportunity knocks, I will be ready.

Luck quote

I am self-sufficient. I am self-supportive. I am self-reliant. I am solely responsible for my financial health and well-being. I am solely responsible for planning for my retirement. I am solely responsible for securing my future. I am responsible for making smart money choices! Recent career choices are grounded in this wisdom.

I would rather take my chances, take risks, work hard and try my best than coast through life or have an easy job. This is how I roll. I prefer rolling through life with folks who roll the same way. When I applied for two promotions at the same time last week, I took a risk. I will see how that plays out in the coming weeks but it was a risk I knew I had to take. In the words of Brene Brown, I “dared greatly”.

Brene Brown quote

My character is my responsibility. Living by my principles is not optional. I respect people who stand for something. Stand for something – Stand for anything – Stand!

I live my truth when I let folks know that I love them and care about them. If you get one of those texts, phones or a hug, know that I authentically love and miss you. Don’t get weird about it 😂 Just accept it and know you are loved!

Brene brown quote

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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#DearMeTenYearsAgo

Letter writing

This Self Care Sunday post was inspired by a hashtag trending on Twitter #DearMeTenYearsAgo.

My spiritual or personal awakening actually started ten years ago in 2009 after I watched “The Secret” https://www.thesecret.tv for the first time. There was something about that afternoon; I knew that movie changed me. I could feel the grid shifting I watched it. It planted a seed in me. I remember my mind was open for the first time to the Law of Attraction and the to the notion that thoughts become things. It was the first time I allowed myself to believe I could live a life bigger and more fulfilling than the one I was living. It was a powerful moment in my life.

The problem was – I wasn’t ready for that kind of self-revelation in 2009. I wasn’t ready to really see myself yet. I wasn’t ready to let go of unhealthy habits, relationships and friendships. I wasn’t ready to change. I wasn’t ready to be that powerful so I continued being small. By continuing to live small and not honor the new wisdom starting to rise within I was living out of alignment with the calling in my soul. I knew I was not centered. I felt it. Honestly, I didn’t want to hear the voice within. I numbed myself with alcohol and partied non-stop to drown it out but I still heard it in the middle of the night. I still heard it when I was alone… I still heard it as one unfulfilling experience rolled into another… The pressure within me was building. I started getting stressed out and depressed.

The hardest part of personal and spiritual growth is that your perspective changes. It’s very hard to continue as if everything is the same when you now see, feel and experience things completely differently than the folks you surround yourself within every day. The longer you fight it, the worst it gets. It’s almost as if it taps you on shoulder but you don’t listen. It taps you on the shoulder again and you still don’t listen and then one day it knocks you the fuck out with the truth just so you wake up. Believe me – that hurts! 😂 The truth of who we are and what we’ve settled for in our lives is very hard to see up close. I chose to see it in anyway. I used the pain to grow and change.

Knock out gif

But before I grew and change – I became sick from the stress of the events. I won’t get into the long series of events that eventually pushed me to let go of a relationship, friendships, a lifestyle, a way of thinking and small-mindedness. All I will say – it wasn’t pretty. I see now it didn’t need to be that hard. If I just would have let go sooner I could have saved myself a lot of heartache, pain and sickness.

Here’s my rhetorical question… If I didn’t go through the heartache, pain, sickness and all of those changes, would I be the woman I am today? Was it the struggle the defined my character and shaped me into who I am today. I like the woman I’ve become. I like the woman I’ve grown into. I know I am a powerful creator. I now know my worth. I am not afraid to see myself. I enjoy self-awareness. I now won’t accept less than I deserve from anyone including myself 💙✨✊

#DearMeTenYearsAgo – I would not go back and change anything ten years ago unless I would end up the same strong, passionate, compassionate and beautiful women I am today. If the struggle made me who I am today, I will take the struggle – heartache, pain, tears and sickness – I will take it all just to be sure I end up the same woman I am today💙✨✊

Food for thought

If you are starting to experience things differently now and are getting yourself stressed out by change on the horizon, my advice to you is to just follow the signs. Follow one sign at time without looking to far ahead. Make one choice at a time. Eventually you will hit a tipping point as I did and then you won’t look back. I would also suggest surrendering to the process before I did. It’s very hard to know you are changed and are different on the inside then have to put on a mask to pretend you are still the same person to the folks in your life. I would also suggest you be careful who share confidences with now. I learned the hard way not every person in your life will be happy you are changing. Some will be envious. Some will judge you. Some will try to manipulate you just as they have done in the past. Some will try to hold you back. You changing will make them see themselves.

If you need support, confide in someone who has been through it (a kindred spirit). If I know you personally, please feel free to reach out to me for support. Peacefully start following the signs God and Universe are laying out for you. You will find your way.

Follow the signs quote`

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
img_0819

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – The Mirror and Universe

Mirror quote

The Mirror

One of the keys to personal and spiritual growth is the ability to see everyone in your life as a mirror, a mirror reflecting back to you strengths, weaknesses and irritations. The reflections in the mirrors are tools to awaken you through self awareness – but only if you are courageous enough to make the choice to see them.

In recent years, I’ve embraced this practice. At times when I’ve found myself irritated by another person or when I’ve found myself standing in judgment of another’s actions, I’ve tried to have the discipline to challenge myself. I’ve challenged myself to look within myself for the same qualities I see in that person. I often ask myself, “Why am I seeing this in them? Do I also hold the same quality? Do I have the same habit? Do I need to grow in the same way?” This isn’t an easy practice. No one wants to see their limitations and weaknesses. We are conditioned to hide our flaws so deep within that we can’t even acknowledge them to ourself. We are taught to be prideful, confident and self-assured to the point we can teeter on the tip of arrogance. It’s very hard to undo that conditioning. It’s very hard to accept our own limitations. Brave is the individual who makes the commitment to open their eyes to their own truth – no matter how ugly it might be. Change can’t happen without acknowledgement of the “as is” state.

I started a new job five weeks ago. Since day one I recognized that one of my team members (not a manager) is a mirror for me. While I respect my coworker and admire her commitment to hard work, she refuses to ask people for help. She tries to do everything herself. She puts a tremendous amount of pressure on herself. She keeps so much to herself that it’s hard for anyone else to help her. This means she also can be a bottleneck for communication, collaboration and progression. I haven’t shared my observation with any managers as I like her & don’t want to put her under the bus. I know she is working very hard. I also don’t know the history. Perhaps she developed this habit out of necessity to ensure things got done or she sees it as job protection. I don’t know her motives. I only know it’s her habit. I am slowly working to build trust and open her up; she’s finally let me in a bit and let me help her this week.

I recognized this pattern in her so easily because I do that same thing. I bury myself and try to do everything myself. I see now, as my responsibly level grows, I have to break this habit. I have to use the mirror and choose to change that habit. I took on a project this week to refine requirements for a contract. I originally planned to do all the work myself. In a flash of self-awareness, I realized I would cover more ground and I would be able to redefine the requirements better by asking for the help from subject matter experts. So, as of Thursday, I am now facilitating the work. I am helping to exchange information and ideas (moving the project forward) as oppose to writing everything myself. It’s opportunity of me to stretch my managerial skills and leadership abilities as well as get a better product in the long run. I am choosing to grow by using my coworker as a mirror.

Strengths

Food for thought

Who are your mirrors? Do you see a weakness in another that you can use to provoke growth in yourself? Are you in alignment with the Universe? Are you heeding the signs? Do you know when you are being divinely guided to a new opportunity? Are you manifesting your best life?

Chakras meme

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
img_0819

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday ~ Jumping Into A Fire

Risk quote

Something unexpected happened this week. I received an email from the Institute Of Integrative Nutrition. Since I paid my tuition for my Holistic Health Coaching Course in full before school began in May 2017, they gave me a FREE six month Book Writing course($999 value) as a bonus. I had one year from my graduation date in May 2018 to enroll. I forgot about it; they emailed me to let me know my last shot to enroll in the free course is the class starting on June 3rd.

There was only one problem with this. I wasn’t really planning on going back to school for a while… My initial reaction to the email was hesitation. Do I really want to sign up for a six month course which means 5 to 10 hours a week for homework and writing. Really? Now? God damn Universe…I was kind of enjoying being lazy 😂

After thinking about it, I would feel bad not taking advantage of the opportunity and wasting the free course worth $999. The truth is I have been itching for some spiritual/intellectual stimulation and looking for a new hobby. I jumped in 😂 I enrolled in the June 3rd course. Any time you get something worth $999 for free, it’s time for the Happy Dance!

Happy Dance gif

With careful deliberation, I am approaching this course differently than I approached my studies in the past. I will not put myself under any pressure with this course because it is for personal enrichment only. Which means it’s a hobby and I can relax with it. I am lowering my expectations of myself in it too. I’ll be happy if I at least learn how to write the book and come out with an outline for a book. That’s all I want from it. I will also be happy if I start having discipline to intentionally set aside time for writing each week. I usually freestyle my writing; focusing on being more disciplined with writing will be a challenge for me… Lastly, the truth is I don’t really care if I finish this course. If it gets to be too much, I’ll just take a slower pace. I will still have access to the course information for two years after the six months is over. All I have to do really is download the information each week and save it as reference for when I am ready to dive in. Yep, I’ve changed and this time I am not stressing about it.

The funny thing is I was toying with the idea of writing a book. I even have a topic I am interested in writing about. It is kind of interesting the opportunity to take a free book writing course manifested now. The Universe is absolutely amazing. I am a powerful creator 😇✨The two topics I enjoy reading about the most are holistic approaches to wellness and executive leadership. Without giving too much away about my premise, I plan to write a book merging both topics. – holistic wellness with executive leadership or holistic leadership. I have plenty of reference materials plus my education. I also work with many leaders, coaches and managers. I can talk to them “unofficially/confidentially” and perhaps pick their brains without quoting them or using privileged information. I hope to, at least, get some feedback and advice. I would actually love for my former Group Manager to be a writing partner but I don’t know if he would/could do something like that🙏If not, I definitely hope he can at least be a confidential advisor since he’s shaped much of my experience. I kind of grew up working for him. I think he’s the bees knees and I don’t care if he knows it 😊😂✌️😘

So, I jumped into a six month writing course that starts June 3rd and it looks like I will be writing a book on holistic leadership… That feels like the deep end of the pool. I hope to hell I can swim. With working a full time job, I have a feeling the below meme could end up as my experience most days but I will hope for the best. I hope once I get rolling and with having the structure of the course, I will be better with procrastination.

Book writing meme

I also jumped in at work. It’s more like jumping into a dumpster fire there rather than the deep end of the pool 🔥🔥😂I started a new job a month ago. I have enough knowledge and experience that I was able to jump right into the mix. It took me a little time to understand the shorthand this new team uses but I know enough that I am not struggling too much. A few people weren’t really happy about me being added to the team. They didn’t understand my role. They seemed to feel threatened. I’ve been working very hard to clarify that I am not a threat to anyone. I am there to help bring discipline and strategy to their planning and processes. I am there to put structure around them to make things work a little better. I am there to help them understand and utilize the contract more efficiently. Leadership hasn’t been great at communicating that to the team so I’ve had to do it myself and now folks are more receptive. Yep, jumping right into a dumpster fire.

Jumping into a fire meme

Unfortunately, I am observing that there are fundamental inequities in the team’s understanding of their requirements versus what is actually in our contract. My observation was validated by another contracts specialist. Hyper-reactivity to the daily fires means the team has been pushing for quick turn around times on contracting issues which isn’t always the most advantageous for us in the long run. Quick fixes are sometimes needed in the work we do but then you need to have the discipline to wrap back around and look to see if you broke something in long run. A quick fix could water-down what was already in affect contractually if we aren’t careful with the wording and execution. Thankfully, a leader recognized my concern as valid and helped me form a workgroup to evaluate at least one problem they’ve been having. We need to understand if there are truly gaps or are we just not enforcing properly. They are all onboard now and this could be my first win with the team. Yep, I jumped right into the fire with them. Hope my perspective helps the team be more efficient.

What I am hoping to demonstrate in this post is what I am mean about holistic leadership. Take me for example, I took the time to work on my holistic health. Feeding the body, mind and spirit every day is essential to holistic wellness for all beings. As for myself, I’ve learned how to create and enforce boundaries. I need to learn and grow for fulfillment. I know I need to enjoy my work. I take time to replenish my body, mind and spirit daily. This makes me a better more productive employee. It also gives me confidence to assert myself respectfully and it helps me challenge others to meet me on my level. I used holistic methods to coach myself to be a better leader but imagine using these and other holistic wellness approaches with your staff…That’s holistic leadership. I can’t wait to explore this topic in a book. Someone may have already wrote about this but they won’t have my unique flavor or perspective 😊

Below my latest professional development read. It’s about creating workplaces where employees feel safe to express themselves and are empowered to be innovative without fear. I heard about it on Twitter from leadership author, Mark Crowley – www.markccrowley.com. I haven’t started it yet. It just arrived yesterday. I’ve had a bit of a migraine from allergies and haven’t been able to read much the last couple of days. If you are interested in reading this book, you can order it on Amazon either in Kindle or hardcover. I am building up a reference library for the book so I can use quotes.

The Fearless Organization

Let me ask you – Are you willing to jump into the unknown having no clue where it will take you? If not, perhaps explore what’s holding you back. Fear of failure held me back for a long time but not any longer. Failure is just another method of learning. Failure is only a problem if you don’t learn from it. For me, the excitement and adventure of jumping into something is worth the risk of failing…

Fear of failure quote

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Soar ~ Blue Love Poetry

Art Erica WexlerArt by Erica Wexler – http://www.SurrealismArt.netSoar ~ Blue Love Poetry
Soar
Into the blue
Like a
Bird
Spreading my
Wings
Wide
With growth
Self knowledge
Self awareness
I am
A stronger version
Of myself
Today
Than yesterday
Flying freely
I feel renewed
With possibilities
On my horizon
Opened
My heart
Is opened
With a love
That has
Grown
Stronger and deeper
With the
Passage of time
Knowing
More of myself
I have more
To offer another
Taking the
Time to dive
Into my soul
And sit
With my heart
In silence
I now understand
The truth
Of our connection
My spirit
Soars the highest
When I am
Looking
Into the
Blue of
Your eyes
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights ReservedNOTE: There is comfort in accepting and stating your truth out loud. There’s power in putting the love in my heart into words and letting them soar through the air into his heart and mind. My affection and loyalty has always been true to him but it is certainly deeper and stronger now that I have grown.Some connections grow with time 💙🔥✌️😘
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
img_0819DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – Burnout and Boundaries

Burnout quoteHave you ever experienced professional burn out? I experienced it in the Fall of 2017. It crept up over time as coworkes and leadership kept crossing my boundaries. I was over-tasked while others were under tasked. I started calling out sick more. I started having health issues and ended up taking almost two weeks off from work too. I eventually made the decision that I needed a full completed stop. I needed a break from the Organization I was working in and I took a one-year temporary assignment to give myself some distance. But it wasn’t the first time I burned out. It’s happened numerous times in my past. I seem to go 100mph. I don’t often see the wall before crashing into it.

Crashing into a wall meme

Here’a little background information on me… I have a wide skill set. I am high performer and a high energy girl. When I am performing optimally, I am a dynamo.  I’m not boasting; just stating facts.  I can take a lot on. I can get a lot done but I also had no boundaries in the past.  Whatever I was asked to do, I did. I often did more than I was asked to do. I did more than anyone was asked to do. The problem with operating like this in the workplace is that you condition managers and colleagues to expect this level of performance from you all the time. It’s hard to break that pattern once you established it and made it your norm.

I recall a few years ago, I had a boss who would often remind me when something wasn’t mine to worry about. He would caution me to stay in my lane.  But I continued to take on too much and worry about things that really weren’t mine to worry about.  He saw what I could not see myself. He often told me to knock it off even though his subordinates were encouraging it. When he was promoted, I lost that external checkpoint and I also did not know how to do it for myself at that time.

Perhaps I didn’t want to admit that I wanted to be a superstar. Maybe I got some sort of validation and approval in being a super woman. Perhaps my ego got a trophy by being a superstar employee who could do anything – all while risking my physical, emotional and spiritual health. Maybe I was a martyr or perhaps felt I was important and indispensable. My self-awareness back then wasn’t evolved to the point that I understood my motives for that behavior.

Self awareness quote

After spending a year studying to be a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, I can now see the danger of my habit. It’s taken some self-awareness to see this in myself and commit to changing it for my long term wellness. I finally learned how to set boundaries and take care of myself. I finally learned to set limits on how much I am willing to give. But let’s remember – boundaries are meaningless unless you enforce them.

I started a new job on April 1st in the same group that burned me out in the past. It was hard choice to return there. But ultimately I knew I changed. I am not the same employee who left 15 months ago. I now know how to take care of myself. Trust me, there’s lots opportunity for me to go above and beyond on this high profile yet struggling team. Just the perfect situation for me to drive 100mph into the wall 😂😂 The only difference now is – I see the danger this time. I see the wall this time. I know the danger of being everyone’s “go to” for everything. It’s not happening this time around! Nope! Not again! Earlier this week I caught myself dropping into my old habit and I stopped myself. I reminded myself to “STAY IN MY LANE”. I logically brought myself back to center and remembered the task wasn’t my responsibility. So I did what I could do to help and then backed off. If it dropped, it dropped. “Let it happen” was in my head. Yes, this time around – it was clear to all involved – I am staying in my lane and everyone will need to adjust. I will need to check-in with myself on a daily basis to ensure I am enforcing my boundaries. In the three weeks I’ve been back, six people have said the same thing to me, “That team needs someone like you!” 😂 I take that as a compliment but it is also my challenge to be sure I exercise self care and maintain my boundaries.

Boundaries

On Thursday, I had a long conversation with a frustrated team member who was considering other options. My observation was he’s close to burnout so I offered to listen to him. Once I popped the top off, he really opened up. He told me his daughter was born a year ago. He was working from the hospital room 10 minutes after she was born. Well, you know I pulled on that thread. I asked him, “Why did you feel you needed to do that? Knowing your managers I do not think they would have expected that of you. So, what’s your why?” Well, the conversation went on for over an hour. By the end of it, I found out he really doesn’t want to leave but he is getting drained. He feels the bar is higher for him, also a high performer, than it is for other employees. He wants a performance plan that has a path to career progression instead of him being stuck in a position as a “go to” just because he’s good at it. When will folks realize smart people are good at many types of work but it doesn’t mean they enjoy it 😉 Wow, talking to him was like talking to myself 😂 We are very much a like😂 By the end of the meeting my new teammate and I decided to have regular check-in meetings with each other. We are more or less going to be accountability partners to ensure we are both staying in our lanes and not taking on too much. I never told him that I am certified coach. Maybe I should start coaching the whole team – Um, stay in your lane, Linda!😂

My coworker did share with me that he felt UNDERVALUED by managers. He was supposed to meet with three managers to discuss his concerns and only one showed up. (That has since been corrected; He’s had conversations this week). He’s had four bosses in two years because of the managerial shuffles; it doesn’t give him confidence in the strategic planning abilities of leadership. I said, “I bet it doesn’t” 😂 This group of managers especially are really good at talking without ever following up with action. #TRUTH! I especially don’t resonate with the energy around the senior management team. I like and respect my team’s senior manager and our front line manager but I am going to keep my distance from the larger group as much as possible. I am staying in my lane! I will only interact with them, when required.

Listening

Here’s my observation about leadership… Human Relations events, ice cream socials and award ceremonies, are just perceived as photo-ops for management unless they are followed up with real authentic conversations with employees. Managers haven’t realized giving an employee 30 minutes of their time and listening attentively is just as important as any management meeting. Employees are stakeholders too! Stakeholder Engagement should include having real authentic conversations with employees; not just posing in fake (staged) photo-ops with them. I can’t seem to get the point across to them that authentic listening is a learned skills that managers should cultivate if they want to truly connect with their employees. Genuinely caring and showing you value the employee as a person is leading from the heart…People resonant with authenticity.

Lead from the heart

Three weeks into a new job on a high profile yet struggling team and so far I like it. I am enjoying the work. All in all this is a good opportunity for me. I can really do some good on this team but, yes, I do still have another offer hanging out there indefinitely. All I have to do it make a phone call. As of right now, I am not pursuing it. It’s still nice to know I have an exit ramp if I need it 😉 😂As I am observing how this team interacts, I am seeing strategic opportunities to improve processes and communications on the team. But honestly, one of the biggest problems the team has is internal communications between team members with different styles and personalities. One key employee has a communication style and responsive issue that is challenging for the rest of the team. However, I am keeping that observation to myself for now. I don’t need to put anyone under the bus in my first month 😂 I think they need more strategic team building exercises and “coaching” along with technical telecoms…Like start a telcon with “Tell me the biggest challenge you are having on this task? What’s keeping you up this week? Can I help?”

ACTION – Reflect on boundaries and leading from the heart 💙

Boundaries are an essential tool in managing holistic wellness. Learning how to set them and enforce them is a skill that will make you strong and resilient. Folks who were used to taking advantage of you, might get pissed off at first. They will adjust. What boundaries have you set for yourself personally and professionally? Have you been enforcing them?

If you are a leader, can you choose to lead from your heart? Perhaps consider starting your next telecom with heartfelt questions instead of diving into your tactical agenda. Give folks an opportunity to speak and be heard FIRST. Giving folks a forum to express their biggest worry or fear and asking if there’s anything you can do to help shows them you are putting them first. Head’s up – the first time you do this, folks may be hesitant to share. You have to make sure they understand it’s a safe room. As for me, I would be suspicious of folks whitewashing and saying everything is “great” all the time. Well, if it’s all so great, what are you doing all day? 😂

If you want to keep employees, you need to show them authentically they are valued and you care about more than just their productivity as a resources. I would rather have an authentic leader who has true authentic human interactions with employees than receive awards or eat ice cream that only give managers photo-ops to show their bosses.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Blue Love Haiku #14

Blue Love Haiku #14
Our souls speak in a
Secret language only understood
Between you and me

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

NOTE
When I saw the image on this post as I scrolled through Instagram, I had to pause. The image of two souls and the number 11:11 made me immediately think of Blue Love. I felt a rush of love and warmth come over me. So I said the below Loving Kindness Prayer for him and sent him some good energy. He and I do share a special connection; it’s a bond like no other I’ve had before with a man. There’s something deep about it. It’s not a surface relationship. We have a strong sexual attraction for sure! 🔥🔥💙😂 But there is also a strong spiritual bond too 🙌✌️Some may call it a Twin Flame; others may call it a Soul Mate relationship. I just call it my Blue Love 💙Blue as in the beautiful color of his eyes.

So, I really wanted to write a full poem but this new job has got my brain so jammed up with stuff it’s leaving no room for creativity or poem writing😂 I actually wanted to write something to balance myself out and get my ying/yang leveled out 😊💙✌️So I decided to settle for a Haiku instead of a full long poem because today is National Haiku Day! I aspire to free up some creative real estate in my brain in the next few days for a real poem🙏

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – Trusting the Process

Spiritual meme

The hardest part of change is trusting that you will be ok once everything settles down. It’s hard to have faith that you are making the right choices and doing the right thing when everything is in chaos or feels stressful and icky. But those fearful moments are when it’s essential to TRUST THE PROCESS… Change, big change, requires for things to shift. That shift can feel like an earthquake or just a small tremor. However the shift feels, I am sorry to tell you, discomfort is an essential component of change. Trust the process…

The funny thing is that last paragraph shot out of my fingers in like 30 seconds. It was almost like someone needed to hear that message and spirit was moving through me to deliver it…I know that sounds weird but other folks into spiritual stuff will know what I mean. Whoever needed to hear that message, you will be fine, just fine. Enjoy the ride… You manifested this change for a reason. Trust the Universe is bringing you into alignment with your highest good.

Spiritual meme

The latest development in my career occurred this week when I was asked to give a presentation to executive leadership on why I declined a job offer 😳😂Nothing like being on the hot seat 😂While it was a bit awkward, I was actually very relaxed because I was finally able to speak my truth. The truth has been pushing against my Throat Chakra for months now just waiting to come out😳😂 I had to use all of my spiritual know how to control my mouth. Yep, I am an Aries with Aries Rising. I am a FIRE Sign 🔥 Not always easy to control the flame but I have made a strong effort in recent years to learn to hold my words and use them strategically.

I was very relaxed through the whole briefing because I knew I had documentation to back up my assessment and I also had the support of my organizational leaders. I carefully stepped through my experience. I expressed my gratitude for opportunity before pivoting to explaining that I turned down the job because I no longer enjoyed the work. The challenges and frustrations associated far exceeded any potential for fulfillment in the doing the work. By the end of the meeting they understood it wasn’t an easy choice for me to make but it was the right choice for me considering the situation.

As I spoke, my Director stepped in at times to shape a narrative that turned a negative situation into an opportunity to strategically reposition the organization 👍 She moved her agenda forward by using my situation to illustrate that she needs more funding for STEM related programs! 😂 Seriously, I’ve always respected her but watching her in action was amazing🙌 I walked out of the meeting not only feeling supported but I also felt like a weight was finally off my shoulders. As I walked down the hall with my former boss, he looked over and said, “Now, you know it’s not over yet and you will be hearing from us again, right?” 😂😂😂 I was quick to let him know I am open to all conversations about opportunities to do fulfilling work I enjoy. We will see how this plays out… It’s been a fun ride!

Life is a ride

Well, I need to make a confession… After throwing away twelve pairs of shoes, I went on a shoe buying binge. Some would call it a shopping “bender”👠It led to also buying bras, pants, jackets, sweaters, etc…. Yep, a bender ☺️I think it’s over now. The below image depicts the logic I used to justify my shopping bender 😂

Shoe meme

In case this helps anyone with similar back/hip pain…I recently learned that my hip pain isn’t true hip pain, it’s actually Piriformis Muscle Syndrome and also a tight IT band. In other words, I have a tight butt — but not in a good way😂 The pain can go from my hip down my whole leg. What makes it better?

  • Walking in good shoes that aren’t worn out!
  • Getting Chiropractic Adjustment every two weeks
  • Piriformis stretches twice a day; holding it for 30 seconds each time.
  • If you have low back pain or stiffness, try these stretches to release it. If you are new to stretching, do not push it too far. You want to feel a stretch but not over stretch it and injury yourself. Start slow and small; work yourself up to deeper longer stretches. I do the seated stretch at least four times a day for 30 second holds especially after long walks, sitting or driving long distances. I am starting to work with personal trainer to build strength though my whole body. Strengthening and stretching are really the only ways to stabilize Piriformis muscle group.

    Piriformis Syndrome

    Piriformis

    Piriformis Stretches

    Piriformis Stretches

    One last note, Game of Thrones Season 8 starts tomorrow night. I am so excited. I rewatched all of Season 7 and the last episode of Season 6. I am ready. It’s such a great show. I don’t usually go for fantasy type of shows but this about POWER. It’s about who has power, who wants power and what they will do to get or keep power. I love it. I secretly play Daenerys Targaryen, Dragon Queen(Mother of Dragons) while I am at home watching 😂😂 She is also the sexiest Queen on the show 😉

    Game of Thrones

    (C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

    Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

    Loving Kindness Prayer💙
    May you be safe
    May you be healthy
    May you be happy
    May you be loved
    img_0819

    DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

    Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

    DMCA.com Protection Status