Self Care Sunday – Empath Survival

11:11

Self Care Sunday finds me focusing on Empathetic Self Care and Survival. I’ve been reading the Dr. Judith Orloff’s “The Empath’s Survival Guide” this week. I’ve also been watching some Empath Survival videos on YouTube this week. This page in the book really resonances with me

Empath’s Survival Guide

It resonant with me because this has been my experience for my entire life. I remember being teased as a little girl because I was so sensitive. My brother used to say he was going to “toughen me up.” He toughened me up alright… but, that’s not the topic of this post. This post is about sharing information to potential help other “sensitives” who may be experience similar things.

I was a shy, reserved and introverted girl. I didn’t learn to be extroverted until I started drinking alcohol which was more or less became my social lubricator. Here’s the thing… no one ever told me it was ok to sensitive, quiet and shy while I was young. Everyone wanted me to be outgoing, socialize more and often pushed me to do things I didn’t enjoy doing. Like “play” with the other kids. I was actually happy keeping myself entertained and hanging with my older sisters and the adults rather than being with mean kids. I guess what I am saying is that I became what everyone else wanted for most of my life. I lived many years without knowing who I was, what I wanted or how I truly felt because I stuffed everything down and lived up to the expectations of others. When I wasn’t living for others, I was partying so I never had to actually look at myself. I kept myself constantly busy with noise surrounding me so I didn’t have to sit with myself or feel the pain that was deep within.

I am actually not sure how old I was in the first photo but young enough to sit on Santa’s lap. I was 30 years old in the second photo.  It was taken at a Fourth of July party at a summer house I shared with friends in Sea Isle City.  It was during my party girl days. I had a wild side in those days; I was dancing for the Fourth of July birthday boy 😊 I had a good time and so did everyone around me. Thank God no videos exist 😂😂

Everything changed a few years ago when I got sick and had to change my life. I am here to tell you today everything does indeed happen for a reason. If I didn’t get sick a few years, I would not have withdrawn from the crowd I was hanging out with, I would not have changed the lifestyle I was living and I would not have gone on the spiritual journey in recent year that changed my life. Because all of that happened, I finally found authenticity in my life and opened myself back up all of my sensitives.

Once I embraced my sensitives again, my intuitive wisdom came back strong. So strong it was a bit overwhelming. I didn’t know how to control it. It’s been taking some time to learn how to manage my intuitive and empathetic abilities. It’s my blessing and my challenge. I will be writing more about this in future blogs.

This is the authentic version of Linda. My circle of friends is much smaller than it was but I am happier. I enjoy quiet time. I enjoy sitting with myself and listening to the wisdom my heart and soul wants to share with me. I don’t like small talk, chaos or unnecessary noise. I am finally at peace. I am grateful to be sensitive. I am happy I am empathic and caring. While I am introverted, I am a relater. What that means is I am good a forging relationships; that is because I am good with connecting with people one to one. Learning how to be sensitive in an insensitive world is my lesson being sensitive is my gift.

On another note, this Sunday finds me packing to go to DC for two days. It should be an easy trip. I have two meetings with my Program’s Sponsor. I am the presenter in my Monday afternoon’s meeting. My briefing was reviewed by Directors on Friday and is ready to go. On Tuesday afternoon, she invited me to join her in a Meet and Greet meeting with a DC based advocacy group. I wish that meeting was earlier in the day. I won’t get home until 7 or 8ish on Tuesday. Gratefully, my boss is cool with me teleworking on Wednesday. Wednesday is the same day as a local air show over the ocean. I will be able to see it from my window as I am working🙌🙌

On a spiritual note, I’ve been waking up at 11:11pm each night and seeing 11:11 or 1111 everywhere lately. It’s a lovely note of positive reassurance that everything is aligning just perfectly for me🦋🦋💙🙌

How’s Self Care Sunday going for you today?

ICYMI: I posted “Blue Love Poetry” on Thursday. Scroll down to my last post if you missed my latest poetry💙🔥😘

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Empath’s Survival Guide

Blue Love Poetry

Blue Love Poetry Art

Blue Love Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

I exhale
Long and slow
As if
Setting all of
My love for you
Free in the warmth
Of my breath
Releasing what
I was holding back
Surrendering to the
Wave of emotions
That rose
Up to lick me
With the flames
Of your desires
I open in
Full submission
To the feelings
Taking over me
Warming my heart
Exciting my body
Speaking to my soul
In a language
Only we understand
Love opened
My heart today
And etched
Your name
Across my nipples
Hard from
Your energy
Licking them
Love opened
My legs today
And pushed
Your desire
Inside of me
To claim me
As only yours
Love opened
My soul today
And reminded
Me of the
Crystal blue eyes
Of a soul mate
Love opened
Me today
And poetry
Flowed out
Love opened
Me today
I wrote you
You poetry
Blue Love
Love poetry

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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NOTE
I had such a productive and busy day at work! I love that I came home after a day like this with my soul on fire. I felt Blue Love Poetry pushing against my heart and speaking to my soul; it just was waiting to burst into words for him.

Let me say today I was reminded of the importance to always listen to your intuition and that everything happends for a reason. I was supposed to be DC for this week attending a five day PMP Boot Camp. About a month ago, I was feeling uncomfortable with going. I felt like it would be better for me to focus on the work instead of stressing myself out with prepping for and taking the PMP test. Since the class was free, I was able to cancel the trip with no issues.

Because I was home this week, I was able to work with our vendor, meet with managers and directors. I not only secured support on all levels but I also secured 100% of the funding I need to do our first ever Grand Research Challenge. YAY 🎉🎊 The funds were put on contract TODAY! When I present to my Sponsor on Monday, I am delivering a fully funded project with the support of managers and directors🙌

If I would have been in DC all week, I would have never been able to button this whole thing up before our year end cut off. Thank God I have strong intuition and listened to it. I knew there was a reason I needed to stay home. My Sponsor will be able to give a preview of the Challenge at Conference we are attending in September. My Director will be able to fully launch the Challenge and website in October. I am the Project Lead/Monitor. I will manage the vendor, launch, contract issues and event planning for the Challenge Forum in May 2019.  Our Ph.D.s will be our Steering Committee and will work the science/research stuff.

So many people helped me get this done this week. So many people jumped in to support it and support me. I am so grateful. Everyone is so excited. I can’t say the Challenge theme yet but think about Smart Technology and how it can be used in Aviation. Personally, I think Smart Technology has a bit of creep factor with security and privacy issues but it’s a very forward thinking field for research and development. It will structured similar to this

http://bigidea.nianet.org

NASA Big Idea Challenge

Forward planning – Next year we will have more time to plan our Challenge. I will be able to reach out to other groups in the company and ask them if they want to partner with us. My vendor will be able to secure sponsorships from industry. For this year, we were lucky to be able to pull it together as fast as we did. It was nail-bitter up until 3pm today 😂😂The best part about this is it’s a win for everyone so far and we could actually change someone’s life by introducing them to industry. I can’t wait to share more about this in the coming weeks. Truly a great day. It proved to me I am doing work that speaks to my soul. I belong exactly where I am.

My work Guru, Guru McG 😊had an interesting observation this week. He said, He thought I would calm down in this job and not feel so much pressure by it once I knew it was a permanent. I still feel like I’m fighting for my spot which is causing me anxiety. He was right. I took action this week and initiated two conversations on the topic. We are aligned. What I want, they want but I’m not sure it will be flipped until my official temporary assignment is closer to the end. However, locking up this project this week and advocating it be an annual offering went a long way to my benefit 🦋

What’s good for you today? What’s lights you up?

I hope Blue Love Poetry speaks to your soul💙🦋

Everything Happens For A Reason

Self Care Sunday – Hibernating

Wild Black Bear Yellowstone
This Self Care Sunday finds me a bit frustrated with my physical body. I’ve had this Sinus and Ear infection/congestion going on for two weeks. Today is my 6th day of antibiotic and probiotics. While it is not as painful and is finally breaking up, it is happening quite slowly. If it’s not gone by Tuesday, I have to go into the ENT’s office. Maybe he will be able to drain the ears. I am hoping I don’t end up on steroids.

Here’s where I am struggling. I felt like I was getting better on Friday and then felt worse yesterday. I am not sure what happened. I am feeling like I failed myself because my body is taking slow long to heal. I keep thinking over what did I do wrong that it got this bad. Why is my body struggling to fight this?

In a conversation with a “spiritual mentor/teacher” earlier this week, she suggested that I get sick so much because I carry/take on the energetic burdens of people I love by because I am a highly sensitive Empath with strong intuitive abilities. I can take on emotions, feelings and symptoms of others.  I feel for people. For example, I get sick so my Mom doesn’t. I energetic take it on to protect her.

My mentor explained I unconsciously take on these burdens because I am stronger spiritually than most people; my empathetic abilities allow me to tune into people and lift their burdens. This is why my former work environment was spiritually so bad for me. My current work environment is better or me. It’s quiet, removed, bigger and calmer. Also, when I am close to someone, they can feel energetically strong when I am around because I give them strength. This is a great gift. However, you have to learn how to manage it. The problem is I am not managing it correctly and it’s breaking down my body, especially my heart which is already weak from a congenital issue. I need to learn how to disconnect empathetically from people and allow them to carry their own burdens; whatever that means. This concept makes total sense to me but it’s heavy stuff. I appreciated her insight because I couldn’t see this myself. I am reading a bit on how to survive as an Empath and Intuitive. Obviously, I haven’t figured it out yet but I am starting with Heart Chakra mantra and balancing work.

This comes back to me thinking I can control everything. It’s my body, I’ve been taking care of myself. I should be able to control this a little, right? Well, I thought I could. It wasn’t until yesterday that I decided to completely surrender for the whole weekend. I am just staying home snuggled up under a blanket with a antibiotics, probiotics, Mucinex, Flonase, water and a tissue box. I am bit a bored but I am coughing and hacking stuff up. No one would want to be around me anyway. I have no business going anywhere today.

Yesterday I watched the new series “Yellowstone” with Kevin Costner. I love it. It’s based in Montana and depicts life there and tensions between White and Native Americans. Since I definitely want to travel out west and especially visit Montana, I like it. Since Kevin Costner is still HOT, I rewatch “Dancing with Wolves” last night.

I definitely feel a spirit bond/connection to Native American history and traditions. The way the White man took form them and killed them makes me sad and a bit nauseous when I think about it. I am going to back to DC overnight next week. If I have time, I would like to go back to the American Indian Museum again. I didn’t have time to finish the whole museum the last time I was there. I also got a bit emotional reading about the Cherokee Removal in the Trail of Tears exhibit. I couldn’t read anymore and left. While watching “Yellowstone” on OnDemand, I stumbled across “Yellowstone Live” on NatGeo Channel. Really an amazing series highlighting wildlife and geology of the park. There are four episodes. You can stream all four online. I’ve enjoyed that as well. I definitely want to go there when I travel out west. My observation is that people are stupid putting their lives in danger to get their social media photos; not to mention how they show a total lack of respect for wildlife by intruding into their habitat. Wildlife photographers remaining save a far distance is different than human having a total disregard for the well being of the animals and theirselves. Let’s face it. If some idiot put himself near a black bear and got attacked, the bear would be put down; not the stupid human.

Well, I am hibernating this Self Care Sunday. I am surrendering and giving my body space to heal. I am also reading on how to survive and take care of myself as an Empath. I really need to learn this like my life depends upon it – because it does…I am still planning to go to work tomorrow. For now, I am under a blanket with books, tissues and stuff to entertain me.

I hope you are taking care of yourself today.

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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NatGeo YellowStone LiveNatGeo YellowStone Live Streaming xfinity

https://youtu.be/A-Nn0VlS0CU

Heart Light – Blue Love Poetry

Blue Love Art

Heart Light – Blue Love Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

I blushed in
Your presence
And became very aware
Of the sensations
That took over
My body
When you
Were near me
My heart raced
My palms would sweat
My breath quickened
My words
Got stuck in my throat
As I tried
To stop myself
From proclaiming
My lust
For you
I tried to
Stop myself from
Reaching out
To touch you
To feel you
To kiss you
To fuck you
The more
I was around you
The more
My spiritual energies
Aligned with yours
That’s when
I started to understand
You and I
Were more
Than just a casual flirtation
As I started
To grow spiritually
I started
To understand
The true nature
Of our connection
And I knew it was so much
Deeper than
Just the physical realm
Our physical attraction
To each other
Is an outward expression
Of the mental and spiritual
Energies that connects our
Hearts to each other
Our connection
Is deeper and
It’s more meaningful
Than your hands
Touching my breast
It’s more powerful
Than you lips
Licking my fire
It’s stronger
Than any force
Attempting to pull
Us apart
I stand
Here today
Stronger, wiser and
A better version
Of myself
Than the day
Our eyes first connected
I stand
Here today
Filled with more love
Than I can express for you
I stand
Here today
No longer doubtful
Of your role
In my life
I know now
You are a soul mate
You are a kindred spirit
In that knowledge
I love you
Unconditionally
Because you deserve
To be loved without limits
You deserve to be loved
Without demands
You deserve to be loved
Without expectations
My heart feels
The restlessness
In your energies
I encourage you to
Explore your own heart
Excavate your own soul
Unearth your deepest desires
Until you find
Peace within you
But know this
Where ever you go
What ever you do
Whomever you are with
I am here for you
I will keep a light on
In my soul
It will flicker
In my heart for you
Follow it back to us
Follow the light
To your soul’s mate
(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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NOTE When you authentically love someone, that love has no conditions. I guess that is what I was thinking about today and it is expressed in the above poem. Interesting that Facebook keeps suggesting we be friends. I would rather protect our connection and friendship by keeping it off of social media…I know we are friends. He knows we are friends. The rest of the world knowing we are friends just means they will be in our business. He’s too important to me to allow that to happen💙🦋

Well, something very exciting is starting to shape up at work. It’s looking like I am winning support and securing funding to do a Grand Research Challenge. I’ve been working all week to win folks over 🙂 I’ve also been working in parntership with National Institute for Aerospace(NIA)to formalize plans. I think I already secured 1/3 of the funding needed. My Sponsor loves this idea and is looking forward to seeing if I could pull it together in our short window. Thanks to NIA; it’s possible. I will be working to secure more support and funding next week with final presentation to my Sponsor on the 20th.

This Challenge will be a big deal🙌 If it is successful, it will become an annual event and could lead to a permanent place for me on the team. It could be the biggest success of my career to date or my most visible high profile failure 😂 It’s a risk worth taking and I am willing to work my ass off to make it a success 🦋 Honestly, it will be great growth experience for me to be the project lead for our team on this. I hope to share an announcement in September, officially launch in October and host/moderate Competition in May 2019. If this happens, it will be the most exciting thing I’ve ever done in my entire career. lol 😊I told my boss I wasn’t getting attached to the outcome and I wasn’t letting myself get excited until next week. He laughed at me😂 He told me that my energy around the event and passion for what I am trying to accomplish speaks for itself😂I guess he was saying I am already attached and excited about it 😂😂

Day four of the antibotic and probiotics. My ears are finally opening up. My left ear opened yesterday. My right ear is only partially clogged. I took a half day from work to come home and decompress for the afternoon. I am very tired after this week.

JmStorm quotes

Life Coach Jargon

art

In the last year, I’ve been exposed to many coaching techniques. A lot of Life Coaches these days talk about positivity, staying in alignment, flowing with the Universal energies and offering no resistance. But what does this lofty jargon mean? What are the real world applications? What does it mean to flow?

Let me first say, you do not need to be positive all of the time. Forcing yourself to be positive is not authentic. It’s more important for you to acknowledge your true feelings. Be miserable and feel sorry for yourself for a day, if you need to. Then, work to release it, accept it and move on. Authenticity is more important than positivity. Putting a happy face on a problem won’t make it go away. Living in truth will at least help you adapt to a new reality and make you emotionally stronger.

What does it mean to stay in alignment? All this really means is to become so in tune with yourself that you can intuitively feel when you are doing something that is NOT beneficial to your long term growth and well-being. When you know are you doing something that makes you unhappy, that breaks you down and wears you out, you are no longer aligned with your highest good. Alignment means you are lined up with the path for your highest good. A word of caution – the path to your highest good can go through the valley of hell. You can be frustrated and struggling even while in alignment. It really depends on what life lessons you are supposed to learn. Remember to check in with yourself and be sure you are suffering for the right reasons. If you are suffering because you are growing, changing and living outside of your comfort zone, you are still in alignment with your highest good. It’s really that simple.

Flowing with the Universe and offering no resistance is tricky. It means accepting you have no control over some things. It requires us to let go when something is no longer working out for our highest good. It requires surrendering instead of struggling and pushing. It’s hard because life sucks sometimes. There are times when we all want to kick and scream like a toddler having a tantrum. No one enjoys change. No one wants to accept rejection. No one wants to move on. No one wants to let go when the heart wants to hold on. If you can work towards using these sucky times of life as opportunities to grow, learn something about yourself, adapt and become stronger, you will be flowing with Universe instead of digging your heels in the sand resisting.

So, you wonder if I actually practice all of this New Age mumbo jumbo. I try. That’s about all I can say about it. Sometimes days I flow like I am riding a magic carpet; other days I fall flat in the sand because my heels are stuck in resistance. But I try😊

On the work front, I’ve been actively going on the offensive to reshape the expectations of leadership so they understand what is achievable within my scope. Second, I’ve been speaking truth to power; it isn’t easy. I have to speak more truth to power tomorrow morning at 8:30am…😂 Although this job has been a great growth experience, I am not yet sure about staying long term. One deciding factor will be if they decide to support a Grand Research Challenge. I would love to work on a project like that! Otherwise, I am keeping ALL of my options open.

Unfortunatley, I am still sick. I took Mucinex, Flonase and Decongestants for a week. My sinuses and ears are still jacked up. Since it’s been over seven days, my Doctor gave me an antibotic. Hopefully, it kicks in soon. I have to call on Friday if my ears don’t open up. I don’t feel horrible. Just a little tired and my hearing is muffled 🤧😷

Finally, I am making a committment to myself to get back to writing poetry. I hope to post something for the Blue Love collection on Friday. A little blue eyed spark of lust would help with getting the poetic mojo going 😉💥🔥😋😘 I could use a little crystal blue sparkle ☺️

blue eyes

Self Care Sunday – Reconnect Through Love

Self Care Sunday

Taking care of ourselves is not just about taking care of our physical body. It also includes maintaining healthy relationships and looking out for your emotional well-being. More importantly, it must include understanding sometimes you have no control.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my family in recent months. There is still a feud in the family that is putting those of us who are neutral in some really uncomfortable situations. I tried to mediate when the fight first broke out about two years ago. After several unsuccessful attempts to help mend fences between the my nephew(41 years old) and my niece(35 years old) I had to give up.

Last year’s holiday season was the most stressful holiday season of my life because of this feud. On Christmas Day, I reached a breaking point and left Philly one hour after arriving. I came home because I wasn’t indulging either side. I wanted them to understand what this conflict is doing to the whole family. Honestly, me finally taking a stand and them seeing me break down in tears, did seem to help them see how it’s affecting the neutral folks. While they are no longer trying to pull me onto their sides and are respecting my neutrality, they still aren’t speaking to each other. I now, in essence, have two separate families.

The hardest thing about this situation is that I had to accept I have no control. I had to accept I can’t fix this. Both sides are waiting for apologies that neither will give. Both are waiting for an admission of wrong doing that neither will offer. I was trying to stay away from both groups for a while because I didn’t want it to appear I was taking sides. I try to walk the line between them so carefully that I constantly stress myself out. It makes me sad that my Mother can’t have her whole family together on holidays because of this situation. It is obvious to me that they are all wrong. I can see it with objective clarity. But there is absolutely nothing I can do help it, fix it or mend it. All I can do is accept it as the new normal in our family until something changes it. I pray for this every day.

The problem with me trying to stay away from both sides to avoid getting pulled into the conflict is I am losing my deep connections to all of my family members and also losing my relationships with my great nieces. It sucks because we’ve always been a close family. If you don’t think tragedy can break apart a family, you are wrong. Our family sustained multiple tragedies over a short time. I’ve seen a lot of heartache in my life. In the beginning, we stuck together. Our shared pain unified us and made us stronger but no one was dealing with grief properly. I asked each to get therapy; all refused. As the younger generation started turning to alcohol, drugs and holding their pain/anger inside, things started escalating. All it took was one last tragedy to be the one that split everyone apart with hurtful words that were spoken during a drunken bar fight between family members.  Yep, it got that ugly.  Anyways, it escalated into long term family feud. I wasn’t even there when it happened but I am still suffering the affects.

It makes me laugh when folks think that because I never had kids that I had no stress in my life… They really don’t know a thing about me, how deep I love, how much I care and what I am willing to sacrifice or put on the line for the people I love. They really don’t know what keeps me up at night or what makes me so worried that I get ulcers. They don’t know me at all. I chose not to have kids for a couple of reasons. Trust me, it wasn’t because I don’t love enough or because I am selfish – I love too much and feel everyone’s pain as if it is my own. I have a broken heart to prove it.

I am making an effort to deepen relationships with family members individually. In hopes that the example I set, shows them how they should be treating each other. I am trying to turn the tides with love and hope. “Wherever you find bad things, you find good people trying to make things better.” – Linda Ellerbee

I had my nephew’s three daughters down my house Friday to Saturday. They are 14, 13 and 9. They couldn’t stay longer because they had a softball late Saturday afternoon. They didn’t want to miss it and the oldest had a conference call about being scouted by colleges. We had so much fun. Everything went well all weekend. We really enjoyed the time together. We swam in my building’s pool. We went to the rides on the Ocean City boardwalk. I don’t do rides because of my heart issue but they really enjoyed them; I enjoyed watching them. We had dinner and caught part of the Phillies game at a nice restaurant in Margate. The restaurant had three different ball games on and the girls were having fun watching the three screens from our table. We then brought ice cream home and watched a movie. We even had fun on the car rides 🙂 We met their parents for breakfast half way between Philly and Atlantic City yesterday morning. I am going to have them down again around the holidays and take them to Cape May. They’ve never been there and want to see the shore around Christmas time. Honestly, I would rather spend my money having time with them than going on yoga retreats by myself.

I’ve had a bit of head cold with ear and sinus congestion trying to catch up to me for a couple of days. This crazy humidity is doing a number on my sinuses this summer🤧 I’ve been self medicating in hopes I can hold it off. While I would like to go out today, this feels like a self care Sunday that I should slow down and rest. I am going to stay home, rest and let me my body try to heal naturally. If I don’t feel better in a day or two, I’ll go to the doctor.

I hope you are taking care of yourself today.

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Alignment

Life Lessons and Perseverance

Albert Einstein Life Lessons

I’ve been noticing a lot of posts on Instagram lately stating that things are easy when you are in the “flow” with the Universe. Folks are asserting that what is meant for you should always be easy and come without resistance. While I understand the concept, I see things a little differently; here’s why.

Sometimes the struggle is part of our lesson. Sometimes the struggle is where we grow, learn and adapt. If we never struggle, perhaps we never truly learn how to persevere. If we don’t persevere through adversity, perhaps we don’t learn our depth of strength and fortitude. I think guiding folks to believe things should always be easy, perhaps trains them to avoid the very struggle that is supposed to make them stronger and more resilient. If folks are always expecting things to be easy, they will not be prepared to rise to life’s challenges. Do you think it’s easy for a butterfly to break out of a cocoon? Do you think it’s easy for a drug addict to stay clean? The process is a struggle but the end result is magnificent.

From my experience, you can still be doing what is meant for you, still be in the flow and still be in alignment with the Universe even when you feel uncomfortable, frustrated and burnt out. Yes, it’s true – you can. If you were intended to learn perseverance, things will not be easy. I think the key is to ask yourself if you are growing, upleveling or expanding in your current situation. If you are, then you are still in alignment. If you aren’t, you are most likely no longer in alignment. We were not meant to be stagnant beings. We were meant to evolve, change and grow.

Here’s an example from my own life…

In December 2017, I accepted a one year assignment doing a job completely out of my comfort zone. The application and interview process were easy. Things went smoothly. I felt good. I knew this experience was meant for me. I applied and got the job without any resistance. I was definitely in the flow.

I’ve been in the job since early February. I’ve had many successes and have received a lot of encouragement from leadership. But this job is frustrating! It is stressful and it is hard at times. So hard at times I’ve considered giving up – I’ve persevered. Even though it can be challenging at times, that doesn’t mean it was not meant for me. It doesn’t mean I am out of alignment. What it means is that I am learning something about myself through these challenges. I am being force to uplevel myself. I am being asked to work at a level higher than ever before.

This job forces me to have daily interaction with internal and external stakeholder at all levels of the corporate ladder. I interact all day; it’s exhausting at times. If you know me, I am introverted. I could hide in my cube all day not saying a word. In this job, I must engage; therefore, I am stretching and growing. I am also trying to change company culture and champion for the proverbial underdog. Not as easy as it sounds. My Sponsor asked me to help her shape the future.  I am her boots on the ground.  Do you think asking folks to change the way the they do business is easy? We all know how folks feel about change. Lol 😂 This job has bit of sales component to it. If you know me, you know I HATE small talk. 😂 This job involves auditing current practices. Folks just love that I am peeking into their business practices. (sarcasm) Lol. 😂 BUT, I am growing through these challenges because I am persevering.

Most importantly, I need to be mindful through this experience. The key is for me to be aware if emotionally, physically and mentally the job starts depleting me instead of motivating me. I need to be in tuned with my soul to know if it’s no longer rewarding and then take steps to walk away. I need to use my intuition to sense when I’ve learned all I am meant to learn from this experience.

I have six months left in this role. I don’t know what will happen. I do know I can’t push myself like this long term but I am hoping that within the next six months with the help of the Execs, the tide will turn or perhaps my focus will be changed by leadership. I am hoping it continues to be rewarding but I am open to all other opportunities and experiences just in case it’s not.

Wrapping back to my point, I was meant to learn through this experience. I was meant to learn I can operate at this level. I meant to know that I was underestimated and held back in the past. I don’t think I was held back intentional it was just the culture of the organization I used to work in.   I was meant to understand I can sit at a table with the highest level of executives and hold my own. I was meant to prove this to myself. I was meant to persevere. So, hell yes! You can still be in the flow with the Universe even though you are stuggling. You just have to make sure you are struggling for the right reasons. If you are growing, expanding and living outside of your comfort zone, then you are definitely doing what was meant for you!

Lastly, I went to a STEM training class late in the day. I was going to skip it but I went so I could just sit back and absorb information instead of talk 😂 As I walked in the door, I bumped into a stakeholder who owes me something that is on my CRITICAL PATH! I was planning to reach out to him later in the week if I didn’t hear from him. We sat together and talked for a few minutes before class began. We came up with plan on how we can move forward. We scheduled a meeting with our “Chief” while we were there. We both committed to possibly launching two grant challenges at the same time running Oct to May. Yep, two at the same time.(There’s reason why it has to be two). It’s really complicated BUT it is doable! He’s the science and mentorship guy for academia while I am administration and project management. We have a few more meetings set up to work things out but we are briefing this to my Sponsor and Execs on Aug 20th.  Wish me luck 😂😂

So, do you think I was in the flow today? I went to a meeting I was going to skip and ended up getting the missing piece to the puzzle that has been keeping me up at night for a week 😂 Yep, I was in the flow for sure this afternoon 🙌

Gandhi