I’ve been fairly sentimental in recent months. Out of the blue my eyes have welled up with tears as I reflect back on my life. I’ve thought of the people who have shaped me and the people who hold places in my heart. While it’s a little uncomfortable to have my emotions at the surface level for all to see, it also feels very free to me to finally let it show. Finally, I am being honest in where I stand today, what I want in my life, who I love and how I got here. The word authentic strikes me. I am finally authentic.
While driving home with my Mother on Christmas night I felt filled with gratitude that I finally see and feel clearly. I would rather live this way than the way I did when I filled my time with one party after another or with beer and wine to numb myself. It was all meaningless chatter and not meaningful interactions. Now that all the meaningless stuff has fallen away I am focusing on the people and things that really matter in my life. I am finally down to what is real in my life. Nothing gives me greater peace and comfort than to take care of those I love. It makes me feel good.
This song kept playing in my head over the Christmas Holiday. In some ways this year felt like an ending of something. But, I am also hoping it symbolizes a brand new beginning as well. In any regards, in my life I’ve loved them all.