Proud To Still Be Hot, And A Mess…

I am a hot mess this weekend😄 I’ve had some intense lower left Pelvic Pain and I’m having some Sugar Withdrawal symptoms. I’m a sugar lovin’, Pre-menopausal frustrated hot mess. But, thankfully, I have a good head on my shoulders. I don’t panic. I have common sense and a good sense of humor about the crazy stuff my body is doing lately.

I’ve been absolutely exhausted which I think is my body adjusting to my new low or no sugar lifestyle. Trust me, I would be satisfying the cravings of my sweet tooth all day long if I wasn’t told I’m Insulin Resistant which is Pre-Diabetic. Thankfully, it’s reversible with lifestyle changes. It would irresponsible for me to ignore the symptoms as many others do. It frustrates me. But, it is also within my control and it is causing hormonal fluctuations. So, it’s time to Sugar detox and move forward in life with stabilized blood sugar.

As for the lower left Pelvic Pain, it was pretty intense last night between 3pm and 3am. I was up most of the night. Tramadol, a Narcotic pain killer, wasn’t even taking the edge off of it at first. The Doctor taught me how to triage myself when I get pain like that. For example, the pain was on the left not the right. Therefore, it was probably not Appendicitis. I didn’t have a fever; it probably wasn’t an infection. I was passing Urine, Stool & Gas; it probably wasn’t a Kidney Stone or a Bowel Obstruction. I had pain and sensitivity in the lower left Ovarian area but wasn’t throwing up. I wasn’t nauseous. I wasn’t bleeding and I could stand up and move around. I thought it was most likely an Ovarian Cyst; that really bummed me out. I think it acts up when I ovulate and that means a Period is on the way. BUMMER. Once I have another Period, the 12 month Menopausal clock is reset. We start counting missed Periods all over again. But, I also wondered if the radical change in my Blood Sugar could be affect my hormones enough to cause the Ovarian issues. I spent some time at 1am this morning Googling that. And, guess what? Yes, blood sugar levels can affect ovulation.

Back to how I got through last night…While it would have been nice to get hooked up on a Morphine drip for a while in the ER, it didn’t seem necessary. I also knew I had a followup for Bladder Scope with the Gynecological Urologist on Monday at 3:45pm. She can do an exam then. Instead of paying a $125 copay for a Morphine drip, I made some Ginger Tea from fresh grated Ginger. I broke out the Heating pad and took the Tramadol every six hours. The pain slowly subsided. But, I didn’t really sleep until this morning.I stayed in bed late. I also cancelled my plans to go up to Philly for dinner at my niece’s house. I needed to slow down & take care of myself.

It’s occurred to me this weekend that “growing old gracefully” isn’t possible. It’s not possible. It sounds nice. It seems like words of wisdom from your prim and proper grand mother. But, it’s not reality. At least not in my world. For example, my Mom is a 75 year old Great Grand Mom. She can talk trash with the best of them and trust me she can make a Saint lose their patience and bang their head against a wall. Let’s not even talk about the F-Bombs she drops and her “keep it real even if it hurts” communication style. My Sister is a beautiful 53 year old Redhead. She wears tattoos proudly and, since her kids are grown, she’s reverted to being a teenager herself. My other sister is 54. She made an announcement at Sunday dinner not long ago that she was no longer bailing anyone out of jail😄 That statement should tell you a lot about tempers in the Long Family and how graceful my tribe is as a whole🙀So, why should I be any different?

Seriously, I’m going be a train wreck. You know, the type you aren’t sure you want to look at but can’t take your eyes off. And guess what, I’m ok with it. I’m ok with it because I’m going to share what learn about health issues so people are educated. I’m going to talk about the stuff other women are too embarrassed to say like Vagina, enjoying sex and, much to my surprise, totally shaving all the carpet off is not recommended by Docs. I was told to let it grow out & trim instead😉 The carpet protects the sensitive areas from unwanted invaders. But mostly, I’m going to speak the truth. Hopefully, others out there will know they are not alone.

As my Mother has said, “Getting old ain’t for sissies and I’m no fucking sissy.” 😉😄😇😂 I’m proud to say I’m almost 50. I’m almost in Menopause. I’m almost a Diabetic but working on reversing it. I almost have the carpet completely shaved now because apparently I didn’t know women actually need a little carpet😉 I’m almost a lot of things now. But, I am still HOT and I’m a bit of a mess. Yes, I am now officially a hot mess🔥🔥💋

The Music is “Blister In The Sun” by the Violent Femmes. I spent a lot of fun, crazy drunken nights in the 80s & 90s dancing at 2:00am to this song. I saw the Violent Femmes at The House Of Blues in 2007. My girlfriends and I all turned 40 that year. One of their husbands bought four of us tickets. Things that happened night still crack us but my lips are sealed…😈💋❤️

(C) 2015 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved
Life is best when lived passionately
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