Catalyst Of Growth ~ Love, Sex And Poetry 

Catalyst Of Growth ~ Love, Sex And Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

Can you
Let go
And love
A little deeper
Can you
Crack your
Heart open
A little wider
To let
In the sun
Of my love
And use my love
As your catalyst
Of growth
Can you
Sit with
Your pain
Heartbreak and loss
Without trying
To hide it
From yourself
Can you
Shine love
Into the darkest
Part of your soul
And let
Someone brand new
Rise from
The ashes of destruction
Can you
Allow yourself
To feel the
Warmth of my love
And source
Your own growth
Through my light
Do you love me
Unconditionally
Without
Expectations or attachment
Can you
Use me
As mirror
Into your soul
And dig a
Little deeper
To find
The softest spot
That needs healing
Will you grow
And rise with me
In love
And
Claim the love
That is given
To you freely
You are
My catalyst
Of growth
And change
I’ve grown
Because I love you
Will you
Grow with me
Will you
Share this
Catalyst of growth
With me
I love you love
Unconditionally

(C) 2017 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved

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Life Is Best When Lived Passionately

NOTE:
The below commentary goes along with this poem. One of the underpinnings of the Integrative Nutrition course I am studying is Primary Food. Primary Food is what nourishes and sustains a person in life such as: Exercise, Spirituality, Career and Relationships. Being balanced and nourished in the Primary aspects of life is essential for wellness. The actual food on the plate is considered a Secondary Source of nourishment in the Integrative Nutrition world.

Recently, our class was given an assignment to reflect on the health of our relationships and we were asked to identify opportunities for growth and development. Through this exercise I was able to see that I’ve grown and healed on a very deep level in the last year through my relationship and connection with a man I refer to as “Blue Love”.

It was clear to me from the first moments our eyes locked that our connection was about more than just a sexual connection. Intuitively I knew there was something spiritual simmering under the erotic undertones between us. It wasn’t until last year when he took a temporary assignment out of town and we were separated that I found myself coming face to face with my abandonment issues, fear of loss and pain that I buried deep in my soul.

The first few months he was gone were emotional chaos for me. Old hurts, painful memories of loss and buried heartaches came to surface. Something about the void I felt in his absence made everything feel more intense. I became anxious, clingy and eventually depressed. I was depressed because I couldn’t believe his absence was triggering this deep emotional response in me. I understood what was happening in me was a call to healing. I was being called to sit with my fear of loss and abandonment. I was being asked to let him go and focus what happening within myself so I could heal.

In that moment of complete depression and rawness, I realized I was attached to him. My “attachment” to him was spiritually unhealthy for me and him. Attachment isn’t love. Attachment comes with expectations, clinginess and possessiveness. For years I’ve spoken about unconditional love. Yet, it wasn’t until I clearly saw I was attached in an unhealthy way to “Blue Love” that I realized that I wasn’t loving him or myself unconditionally. I was trying to hold on to him and to the part of us that changed. I was making myself anxious worrying about what he would choose next and if I would be a part of his plans or if he even still cared about me. My “attachment” was blocking my ability to let go. My attachment was blocking my ability to truly love him or myself.

In the last year “Blue Love” has continued to explore his professional options. While we continue to be physically separated something changed in me over the last year. In allowing myself to feel the pain of my separation from him I brought other repressed pain to the surface for healing. By sitting in the middle of all of my shit, loss, pain and abandonment issues I awakened my inner Healer and mended pieces of my heart that were broken a long time ago. In learning to let go of my “attachment” to “Blue Love”, I found a new deeper truer love for him as well as myself.

By healing myself on such a deep emotional level, I also awakened spiritually and started embracing my soul’s true calling to be a “Healer”. I found the courage to face illness with strength and self love instead of fear and self pity. In choosing to love him and myself truly unconditionally, freely without expectations or attachments, I let go of all fear and broke myself open to profound growth in all areas of my life.

“Blue Love” is still in my life. I am very grateful for our relationship and our connection. It is clear to me now he was put into my life to help me grow spiritually. I was meant to learn how to truly love myself and others unconditionally through my relationship with him. He is truly a “soulmate” and maybe even a “Twin Flame.” For that I am forever grateful.

So, I ask you now to reflect on the quality of your relationships. Are there any opportunities to growth, self awareness? Can you let go and love a little deeper? Are you attached or in unconditional love? What is your opportunity for growth in the Relationship aspect of your Primary Food?