Prayer For Healing

Svethania Novikova Art

Prayer For Healing
By: Linda A. Long

As I look
Into the future
I find it
Hard to see
A path forward
Everything changed
In my life
This week
Tension
Stress
Anxiety
Built up
My body broke down

How do I
Care for myself
And give myself
Time to
Grieve and mend
How do I
Give myself space
To find my
New life
Without being
Under pressure
How do I
Remove chronic stress
From my body
So I finally can heal
And transform
My life

I don’t know
Answers to the
Questions yet
I just know
That God
Is calling me
To reflect and change
God
Is calling me
To trust my
Intuition and let go
God
Is calling me
To trust him
God
Angel and Guides
I ask for
Your divine
Inspiration and guidance
As I stand
At the fork
In the road
In my life
I ask for
Your love
And blessings
So that I
May heal
Body, mind and spirit
And transform
Into the
Highest reflection
Of your grace
And love
I am worthy
Of healing
Of Love
(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

NOTE:

It’s all in a blur. My whole life is in a blur right now. I can’t see the future. I said these words to someone recently. He responded by saying, “Even in a snow storm, you have to be able to see. Try to see a path forward; try to put it into words. Write it out!” This is me writing it out. I am posting it on my blog to hold myself accountable more or less. And also to show others, everyone hurts… everyone struggles. I freely admit… I have no answers at this time of my life. I have no answers. But I do know God is calling me to reflect a bit before moving forward.

High levels of stress, anxiety and tension have been a part of my life for a while now. My best friend had Cancer for five years and died April 19th. I had tension in relationships. I was in school full time while working full time and I switched jobs three months ago.

I guess I didn’t realize that my body was having a physical response to the chronic stress I’ve been under every day for the last couple of years. Being strong, soldiering on took a toll on me and my body. I see now I held a lot of tension in my body. I held a lot of anxiety in my soul. Now, right now I have a foot injury which lead to back problem which is taking a long time to heal, I believe because of stress and muscle tension. I started physical therapy for it yesterday. I have a flare up of tendinitis in my left elbow. I’ve had migraines and digestive issues. Meanwhile, my blood work looks beautiful; it’s the best it’s been in years. Thank God! This tells me that stress, anxiety and tension as well as Menopause are taking a physical toll on my body.

I finished my school work today. As of today, I’m officially done my Integrative Nutrition Health Coach Training. I graduate on May 15th! I will take the Certified Holsitic Health Coach test later in summer. As stressful as school has been, it’s also been good for me. But I am glad I am done. As far as building a coaching business goes, it’s officially on hold indefinitely. I can’t even think about that right now.

After five years of watching and supporting my best friend battle Cancer, I am now left with grief. This summer I need to leave some space for grief as well as take time to figure out what life looks like without her. My body is breaking down from stress and I feel like like I need to slow down for self care and slow down for my body to heal.

This brings me to my new job…let me take a big sigh of right here…I proved to myself I can do the job. I proved to them I can do the job. But, the whole future of the Program rides on my back. It rides on my action. It rides on me. I have to drive it. The next few months will require me to travel, build and drive the program. It will be pressure. Pressure that I am just not sure I up to right now.

I keep hearing in my head, “just because you are capable, doesn’t mean you should be doing it right now!” I keep feeling like I need to pull back to heal. I feel like I have been pushing too hard for too long and trying to do too much for too long. It caught up to me… I guess what I am saying is… I am not sure I am physically up to this job given how my life changed and how my body is reacting to the stress.

The way I see it is, I have a decision to make. I have to decide I want to go in and talk to my new boss and explain all of this or if it would be best for me to go back to my home organization. I know my old group is struggling and could use my help. I would be completely honest with my old boss because of our history. It may be easier to manage this emotional time of healing while working in my old organization instead of being under the stress of trying to lead a new high profile Program. I need to reflect on this the new week or so…

I haven’t been able to get “Sound Of Silence” by Simon and Garfunkel out of my head.

Art Credit: Svethania Novikova – www.fineartamerica.com