This Self Care Sunday is about me working on accepting that I am human. I make mistakes and it’s ok. I have a tendency to expect perfection from myself. When I do slip up, I am often very hard on myself. I am working on being kinder to myself. So here’s what happened….
I went to Philly for the weekend. My great niece graduated grade school. I went to Philly to see family and go to her party. I was feeling a bit off most of Saturday. I had a lingering headache in between my eyes which eventually passed as the day went on. Since there is a rife in family I was also uneasy about going to the party because my niece’s parents are part of the problem. I felt a kid shouldn’t be punished because of the actions of the parents so I went to the party. I also went because my Mom wanted me to go with her and I needed to to be a good daughter to my Mom this weekend. After all, she’s been my only parent since I was seven.
The party ended up being much more enjoyable than I expected. I made plans to bring three of my five great nieces to my house for a weekend in August. They all play tournament softball. They work hard and play ball EVERY weekend all summer long. My niece going into high school pitches over 50mph and is already being scouted by colleges. They are going to Nationals in Myrtle Beach in July. After they get back from Nationals, my nephew is letting them take a long weekend off from ball to come to my house for beach time the first weekend in August. It’s about teaching them to create balance in life. I live on the beach with a pool. We can also walk down the boardwalk and catch fireworks on Saturday night. When the girls are with me, they are just kids at the beach for a weekend. I am hoping to teach them having fun and balance in life is as important as working hard while playing ball.
Anyway, back to the story of how I screwed up… My Mother lives on hill. Normally when I am staying with her for a weekend, she lets her neighbors know. Then they leave me a spot out front of her house so she doesn’t have to walk up the hill to my car. When got home around 11pm last night. All the spots were filled and I had to park at the top of hill. When we went out this morning for breakfast, she asked me to back the car down to her house so she didn’t have to walk up with her cane. This is when I screwed up😂 I am a VERY careful driver but for some reason while I was backing up, I lost my bearings. I backed into a parked car because I didn’t see it in my blind spot. It wasn’t a lot of damage but a good dent and some paint was scraped. It was my Mom’s neighbor’s daughter’s car. After I parked, I went and knocked on their door. Told them I would pay cash for the repairs and take care of everything. Then the daughter said, “Sorry, we know to leave your spot open when you come to see your Mom. My boyfriend parked in it and I forgot to tell him to move.” I thanked her but made it clear it was my fault not hers. The parking issue is just another issue why I can’t wait for my mom to move especially now that she uses a cane and can’t walk up the hill.
My Mom’s neighbors were fine. Very understanding and accommodating. They know I am going to pay for repairs. They weren’t even upset. They actually felt bad they didn’t leave the spot open. It was me who couldn’t let it go. I was beating myself up trying to figure out how it happened. I kept telling myself I should have just went around the block. Until my Mom looked at me and said, “would you STOP”. Everything is ok. There wasn’t much damage and you are taking care of it.”
As I drove home, I was fairly annoyed with myself. I was trying to figure out why I couldn’t let it go.Why was I punishing myself for making a mistake. Well, it’s gonna be close to a $500 mistake. Ouch! I’ve only had this new car for 10 months and it already has been banged up three times. That makes me a little worried. The interesting thing is if I wouldn’t have been rear-ended three weeks ago, I would not have known how to handle the situation without cops or insurance getting involved. So when I put my car into the shop on Tuesday to get the body work done from that accident, they can also touch up my paint from this morning’s boo-boo😂
When I got home, I went for a four mile walk on the boardwalk. I had enough sun for today so I am now sitting on my balcony writing this blog. I am also working on accepting I am human and accidents happen. It’s interesting that I am often kinder and more understanding with others than I am to myself. That’s is an opportunity for growth for me. It’s something I will be working on with my own Holistic Wellness Coach and fellow IIN Alumni, Stephanie at www.findyourbrave.co. Stephanie has become a close friend, accountability partner to me and she is a great Coach!
On a side note, I asked my Mom to do the DNA Ancestry test and she said, “Nope! Grandmom was off the boat from Ireland; she had a Brogue. PopPop’s parents were off the boat from Ireland and Germany. I know what I am. Your Dad was the mutt; not me!”😂😂😂 I also did some research. 23andMe considers Ireland to under England. That’s why mine came up mostly British. My Mom and I went through all of my sister’s photos from out west. I found out she went out west a few times to visit a cousin who was in the Air Force and stationed in Montana. She went to South Dakota, Montana and Iowa. She took the train coast to coast. I think I would like to retrace some of her steps in my trip next year but I am not sure about the train coast to coast, maybe only one direction 🙂
Are you a perfectionist? Do you beat yourself up when you screw up? Do you know how to be kind to yourself?
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