I’ve been thinking a lot about fantasy vs. reality this week. Often reality doesn’t measure up to the fantasy we create in our minds. Folks fantasize that new jobs will be so much better than their current jobs . People fantasize about retirement only to find out they liked working. People fantasize about magical first kisses only to find the real first kiss to be a bit awkward and filled with nervousness. This doesn’t mean that reality sucks. Quite the contrary. Reality may be perfect but our illusions and fantasies created unachievable expectations.
When we fantasize, we create expectations based on false narratives that often sets us up for disappointment. This happens when we live in the future rather than living in the present (now). We tell ourselves things like “My life will so much happier once I…buy that house, retire, meet my soulmate, lose 20lbs.” We fantasize so much about the future that we lose satisfaction and happiness today.
I am not saying people shouldn’t fantasize. I love to daydream and fantasize. I am saying that we need be cognizant that the reality may not match what we create in our minds. This doesn’t mean our reality is bad or lacking something, it means we expected too much and made satisfaction unachievable. I’ve found that I am happier by scaling back my expectations in all aspects of my life. I’ve grounded myself in gratitude for what’s good in this moment while still fantasizing about what might be magical in the future. The key takeaway from this to find a way to be happy now in this moment while you are in limbo and waiting for something in future. Keep one foot in reality while you are daydreaming about the magical future.
ACTION: Ground yourself in the present moment. Find a way to be happy right now while you are fantasizing about the future. Remember the reality won’t always match the fantasy but it doesn’t mean it’s any less magical.
This week has been a stress management challenge. So far I am doing a great job but I’ve had my moments.
I’ve decided to open my mind a bit. I am updating my resume and doing an exploration of jobs outside of the “company”. Of course, I don’t really want to leave the “company” but I think it’s good to take the opportunity to see what’s available on the outside. Who knows what’s out there? Maybe it’s time to start opening my mind to what life looks like on the outside? Maybe my dream job will land in my lap :-).
Here’s what I’ve learned during this “break”:
✅ I do not need a cleaning lady. I can do it myself and save the money. I need to keep more money in my savings for the possibility of future shutdowns.
✅ I’ve learned I was spending too much money on sushi and need to cut back on that permanently.
✅ I’ve found GREAT yoga practices on YouTube that I love. I do not need to pay for a studio membership or to take classes at studio. I have everything I need at home. I’ve practiced yoga everyday since mid December. It’s been great to have focus and move and sweat. I’m definitely feeling stronger and more flexible. Juiciness in my hips is back 😊
✅ I realized I can walk in condo from one end to the other on days the weather is bad and still close the rings on my Apple Watch every day 😊 This eliminates the weather excuse and doesn’t require me paying for gym membership to use the treadmill.
✅ I’ve been cooking at home and doing meal prep like I should have been doing for the last few months. I made Sausage, Broccoli Rabe and White Bean Soup and Chicken Caccatori that were both AWESOME. I froze a few portions for future meals 🙂
Look for ways to manage stress without resorting to drugs and alcohol. Here a few suggestions:
✅ Talk to friend
✅ Watch a funny TV show or movie
✅ Make a budget for yourself and stick to it
✅ Clean your house, clean out your garage or junk drawer
✅ Tidy up! Organize your house; an organized house carries better universal energy. I’ve been watching “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” on Netflix. Honestly, just looking at those messy houses stresses me out. I am a “Everything has a place” kind of girl. Before I go to bed each night, I walk around and put everything back in it’s place 😊 Universal energy moves easier in a tidy house 😂😂
✅ Stay busy; don’t sit and think all day
✅ Turn the TV off. Watch a little news but don’t obsess over it all day
✅ Hug someone or call a friend
✅ Help another human being
✅ Read a book, Color, draw, write, make love
✅ PRAY; pray is healing
Remember to put a little love in the world with the Loving Kindness Prayer
Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋
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