For me, Self Care has a lot to do with following and trusting my intuition. It’s not always easy to trust the small voice inside when external forces are trying to manipulate and apply pressure. It’s not always easy to remain true to myself and honor myself while others are trying to mold me into something else. Nope, It’s not always easy to be a round peg in a world of square holes. However, I learned this week that my intuition and gut instincts have been spot on lately! I learned the value of trusting that small voice even though I started to doubt myself under external pressure.
It all started with me basically turning down a job offer this week from the group I’ve been working with over the last year. The offer was premature. There are problems and challenges in a Program I’ve been working on during the last year that are above my level of responsibility; they need to be addressed before any long term commitments on my part can be discussed. When the topic came up, I hit the breaks HARD to force the conversation.
Well, apparently folks were shocked that I didn’t jump at the permanent opportunity and I also nixed the request to extend my temporary assignment😉It’s time for me to settle into a permanent spot that is a good fit for me on all levels. This set off a series of events culminating in my DC based Acting Director traveling up to my office to talk to me in person on Thursday 😂 For the record, I have a fabulous relationship with this Acting Director. She leads from her heart. She is authentic and honest; I genuinely like and respect her. I also love her individuality; she rocks a nose-ring that looks fabulous with her Indian skin💁🏽♀️ My Outreach Program would not have been able to get off the ground without her. Every read-ahead briefing I sent her in the last year came back red-lined and with comments, lots of comments 😂 She challenged me and made me better. We get along very well 👍
A few minutes into our conversation she noticed I was speaking cautiously and that’s when she gave me the green light to speak openly. I explained that I couldn’t accept a job to continue in my current role because we haven’t had any discussion about the inherent challenges to the program now that the year is over. I explained how those challenges will limit any future success. I gave her detailed information on all of the “internal” challenges including a perception from LEADERS that it is only a “vanity program” for my Sponsor. I can’t ethically represent a program I feel is disingenuous and lacks authenticity unless these challenges are addressed at a level higher than me. Well…that was a lot to say 😂😂After taking a deep breathe, she knew I was speaking the truth to her. She’s been sensing the same but wasn’t sure if her perception was right. It was during our conversation we realized we both were concerned and uneasy and I was looking out for her by slowing things down…She wants to rethink things a bit. I walked her to the van waiting to pick her up. When we hugged, she whispered in my ear that she still wants me to work for her and said our conversation isn’t over yet😂😂😂
All I am saying is that if I didn’t listen to my intuition, I could have gotten myself stuck in a program that has a hard road to future success. I would have also been stuck doing “transactional” financial work that I don’t really enjoy. Lastly, I would have been setting her up for a potential failure too. That doesn’t mean she won’t find a path to success; something could change. I actually wouldn’t mind Budget Formulation work because it is more strategic in nature but I am not interested in “approving” transactions every day for living. Nope, no thanks! Now some would say I should have leveraged this offer to get something in my old group before returning. That felt disingenuous to me. I had absolutely no intention of pursuing the opportunity the way it was presented. If my bluff was called, I would have been screwed. There was no reason to play that game with people I actually like. If the other group comes back with an offer that I would seriously consider pursuing, then I will contact my boss before accepting and have a authentic conversation. I am not a game player😉
On the other side of things, I actually feel good about going back to my old group too. I realized that I was just burnt out when I left them a year ago. I shut down to all conversations and wanted to take a break from them because I was exhausted and burnt out. I am refreshed now. I am also better at enforcing boundaries and taking care of myself now. I recognize that I need to speak up when I am approaching burn out. The problem was that group was in one crisis after another for a long time and I didn’t see an end to it. I took the opportunity to have a different experience and take a break from it. I had a great year and great experience but if it’s time to go back, it’s time to go back. I am looking forward to helping them again. I am just going to trust my intuition.
I am still not sure how this all is going to work out in the coming weeks. In meantime, I’ve decided to disconnect from it for a bit. I have four day weekend from work. I am in training on Tuesday and off on Wednesday to go back to Jefferson Hospital for a follow up. Hopefully, I’ll have until next Thursday to take a break from the stress of this situation.
My other exciting news from the week is that I finally applied for Board Certification from the American Association for Drugless Practitioners. Once this done, I can call myself a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner and add CHHP after my name. I can still call myself a Integrative Nutrition Health Coach but this will let me order hair and mineral tests for clients as well as state credentialing. I am also interested in taking a professional development course for Executive Coaching certification. I am still looking into this. The course I want is expensive. I am not ready to finance this just yet; nor am I ready to go back to school just yet. I need my career situation to settle down a bit before committing to that. This is all part of my plan to build up my second post-retirement career in Coaching under my own LLC while working on my first career.
The Action this week is to spend some time tuning into your intuition. Your intuition is the small voice inside of you that often tells you to do things that are scary 😂 Your intuition is the small voice that tells when something isn’t right for you. Your intuition is the small voice that knows what is in alignment with YOUR highest good. Your intuition is what prevents you from being manipulated!
How to tune into your intuition?
✨ Trust & follow your instincts. The more you do this the stronger your intuition will be!
✨ Limit your use of alcohol and drugs. They numb your inner voice!
✨ Surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting! Negativity is draining!
✨ Disconnect from noise & distractions. Take a break from the TV, phone and radio!
✨ Meditate and Pray. Some of my best inner wisdom comes to me while sitting in prayer!
✨ Talk to your Guides & Angels – Ask them for help. Ask them for a sign.
✨ Speak your truth even when your voice shakes!
✨ Open your Heart Chakra so you can hear the wisdom of your heart. Wear green and google “Heart Chakra”. Heart opening Mantra is below.
✨ Open your Third Eye Chakra. Wear Indigo and educate yourself on the Third Eye Chakra. Third Eye opening Mantra is below.
✨ TRUST YOURSELF!
As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…
Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.
Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋
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