Finding My Center


The last year of my life has been about Finding my center again. It’s been about finding my most authetic self after all the superficial stuff fads away. In order to do this, I needed quiet, distance and time just move in my own rhythm. My focus has been on me…no one else. Things got hairy and a little scary at times 😂😂


Friday is the last day of my first week in my new job. This job brought me back to my professional “home”! I am in a new role but surrounded by familiar faces. There’s so much to learn and re-learn. I’ve been gone 14 months. Just enough time for me to be completely out of the organizational rhythm.

Just a couple of days in and I can say it’s the pace I really like. It’s the pace I missed for the last 14 months. There’s a different pace between a strategic group and a 24 hours operations group. While the slower pace was good at first because it was a break from the grind, the slow pace is one of things that bothered me most. I am an action person. I stay more engaged when I am in a steady flow of activity. My challenge will be to balance my activity so I don’t get burned out again. I need to remember to pull back and remind myself one very important question with each task, “Is this mine to worry about?” I was not always good at this in the past and took on things that really were not mine to worry about! I own that truth!

The nice thing this time around is I am focused on only one program/system area instead of being generalize and I am also not in a support role. Both were essential requirements for me to rejoin this group. It seems they found the perfect opportunity. Since it’s a new role, I will be involved in developing and maturing it. It is just the kind of challenge that motivates  me. I realized the other day the program I am now working on has 222 in its name. Hmm? 222 is my God Sign number; it’s my favorite number. Of course, that is not coincidence; it’s synchronicity. It’s Universal Flow.
One of my first observations is that it’s nice to be around so many folks who are so dedicated and focused on working towards a shared goal. In my last role, I was on my own a lot. It’s part of the reason I didn’t enjoy it. I am inspired by the work ethic of some of my coworkers; it helps me rise up and reach for better in myself. I am also happy they all agreed I can stay in the same cubicle – at least for now – we will see down the road. I like where I sit! It’s quiet and out of the spotlight 😂👌

So how did this happen? How did I end up working in group I thought I left? How did I end up turning down an opportunity I worked for a year to get? Well, these folks got their hooks into me two months ago and slowly reeled me in. Honestly, I seemed to bump into both of my bosses everywhere I went the last few weeks. They kept telling me it was sign 😂Maybe it was… It was annoying but it seemed to work 😂😂

I was so filled with stress and anxiety about making the right choice I couldn’t think clearly about it. I reached out to a friend for help in getting clarity. He asked one question. “Do you enjoy the work?” (I had been doing prior to making the move). After struggling to answer the question, I realized it was NO. No, I didn’t enjoy the work and admitting that felt like failure to me. Seems crazy but that’s why I did not want to admit it. You know you are growing when you can see your own crazy irrational thoughts and intuitively know it’s time to ask for help! I especially love that it was Blue Love who helped me get the clarity I needed to make this important choice 💙 I am growing and I aim to surround myself with folks who are willing to reconnect with their Center and grow too 😊


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