The focus of my self care this week has been centered mostly on relationships and physical self care.
I’ve taken opportunity to socialize a bit more this week than I normally do and I am glad I did it. I went to Christmas Chinese Auction party with 22 women. It was fun. The women in this crowd are a good bit older than I am and most of them were the first friends I made when I moved down here 25 years ago. I’ve always been most comfortable with folks older than I am, “Boomers” as they are now called.
The best thing that came out of that night was that I reconnected with one of the women who I fell out with a few years ago. It got pretty ugly between us a few years ago. Mostly because she likes to control things and I don’t like to be controlled ☺️🤣 I am an equal. I am not a child. I am not a follower. I make my own decisions…Well, our friendship became a constant tug of war and eventually it broke under the pressure. I accept my responsibility in the breakdown of the friendship. I could have talked to her instead of shutting her down but “shutting down” to folks who hurt me is my trauma response. It was how I protected myself since I was young. Until recently, I didn’t know any better. Her husband died around the time some of this was going on. I think she was just trying to control things because she felt out of control but she could have backed off, stopped trying to control me and been more sensitive to my feelings. Anyway, we were both wounded.
I guess since I’ve been focused on healing this year she’s been on my mind a lot in recent months. I miss her friendship. Her best friend is dying from Pancreatic Cancer and she, herself, recovered from Breast Cancer. It just felt like it was time to say how I felt to her; no more shutting down to people. Also, there aren’t very many people in my life other than my sister who make me laugh as hard as she does. I mean seriously, snorting, soda out of my nose, full belly laughs when I am around her. We’ve always clicked. Even this passed Sunday she was cracking me up. For some reason I seem to get along very well with Geminis♊️ I must be drawn to the duality of the twins; it intrigues me 💞 But that dark twin can be straight up gangsta sometimes! That’s one I fight with 🤣 Anyway, I pulled her aside, hugged her and told her I loved and missed her. She said the same thing. We aren’t going to revisit the past. We are going to leave it in the past. We are just going to start from today building a new friendship from who we are today. It is a fresh start for our friendship. Do you shut down to people like I do? Are you willing to open up to someone who loves you?
Physically I’ve been trying to manage a flare-up of arthritis in my left jaw this week. It hurts…The damp weather the last few days has been rough not to mention the low barometric pressure gave me a migraine. This is the worst time of year for my jaw issues and migraines. I also found a small external growth near my jaw earlier this week. I have an appointment with the Dermatologist to have it looked at and hopefully removed this week. Since I am allergic to NSAIDS and Aspirin, my pain relief choices are limited. I am going to try CBD Oil & found a reputable local CBD (Hemp) Oil Representative through a medical professional referral. I ordered the Pure 500 CBD Oil (Cinnamon Flavor) Tincture and my friend gave me a sample of the cream which I put lightly on my jaw today. It seemed to help but I will try it again. HempWorx. A friend told me it’s really helped her arthritis a lot. It should arrive this coming week. It was not cheap but I am hoping it helps not only my joint and muscles issues but it also is supposed to help migraines and sleep issues. I will let you know how that goes. Lastly, Accuweather has health forecast page for allergies, migraines and arthritis. Once you enter your location, it will show the health forecast options. It was 100% on the money this week. Migraine started late Thursday. I started meds in enough time to prevent the full migraine and arthritis in the jaw flared up on Saturday too. Check out the site.
I am working on changing my diet around lately. I tend to have a sweet tooth ☺️I have to work hard to keep it in check. It’s a slippery slope. Once I have sugar coffee, I want sugar all day every day🤣That’s why I typically don’t use sugar in the morning. I switched to oatmeal for breakfast. I’ve been adding a low sugar free protein powder from Bowmar Nutrition to it to bump up the nutrition too. The Hot Chocolate and French Toast Protein Powders from Bowmar are good. They use Monk Fruit to sweeten which is extremely low sugar but sweet. As for dinner, I’ve been making bowls with cooked veggies and protein source each night. Since my belly feels best eating only cooked instead of raw vegetables, I am buying assorted cooked veggies every few days at a local prepared food store called (Done.) This week’s bowls have had a bed of Baby Spinach at the bottom with roasted Brussels Sprouts, Sweet Potatoes, Marinated Mushrooms with Barbecue Tofu & a little Crispy Pork Belly topped with Blue Cheese crumbles & a Balsamic Blue Cheese dressing I mix at home. You could also mix and match from the image to make bowl combos. Just select a protein (4-6oz for women; 6-8oz for men) and a carb (1/4 cup) with as many as you like from the veggie list. I need to eat cooked veggies because of my digestive issues but raw would be good too 🙂
The only thing I am going to say about work this week is to encourage folks to accept the opportunity to learn and grow when it’s presented. Leadership approached me a while ago and asked me to get a Grants Management Certificate. The Certificate program is a series of seven courses and they are all available virtually. Work agreed to pay $7000 for all of the courses as long as I took virtual courses and I was allowed to take them all during work hours from home. They only thing I couldn’t do is travel for any of the courses. I completed three courses so far. This past week I teleworked three days and was only in the office Thursday and Friday. However, on Friday I was able to use knowledge from the course while working on strategy for the Call for Proposals. I am finding the classes beneficial. It’s filling in a big knowledge gap for me and I am grateful my leaders were willing to invest in me. I should finish my certificate in March.
Lastly, I can’t wait until current occupant of the White House is Impeached! I hope the Senate is courageousness enough to remove him. I am want to go back to having a President I respected. Honestly, I cringe every time I hear POTUS’s voice. Believe me I would be at every protest if I wasn’t afraid of getting arrested on being seen on camera 🤣✊ This is best red hat EVER…
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Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋
Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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