My coworker who sits in the cubicle next to mine has a saying. At the end of a challenging day she says, “It’s been a day!” When I was leaving work for the weekend on Thursday evening, I said to her, “It’s been a week!” It was a challenging week for sure.
I traveled for work in a small plane on Wednesday. It was a one day trip. I don’t normally have trouble on those flights and actually the flights were ok that day. There was a little turbulence but that is normal on that plane. The problem was I wasn’t feeling great. The antibiotic I am on is really upsetting my stomach. However, I felt like I needed to talk to leadership in person so I traveled. The first flight was actually ok but the flight home was stressful. My stomach was upset all day. I started getting anxiety about getting sick on the plane. Ended up chewing on a half of Xanax on the way to plane. While my stomach never really settled down until after I got home, the anxiety went away about 10 minutes into the 45 minute flight. I’ve never been happier for a plane to land. Lol 🙂 By the time the plane landed I believe I looked something like this…🤣
My meeting with leadership overall went well. It was clear in the meeting my leadership wants to do whatever needs to be done to support me. It was clear they are committed to helping me in whatever way they can including resources. However, it was also clear to me many of the folks lack a basic understanding of the work. Many of the folks are new or temporary in their roles which means I am constantly bringing someone “up to speed”. It’s exhausting…The bottomline is the organization was not prepared to take on this type of program and lacks the infrastructure to provide the proper support. So now everyone is scrambling to figure things out. It sucks… The other reason I was having some anxiety that afternoon was because they dropped a bomb on me at the end of the meeting. They told me we are getting a third program which is similar to mine and they want to put it in my portfolio. I will have a portfolio of three new programs to stand up in one year without any staff but myself as of right now…. Do you see why I had anxiety that afternoon? know they want the money and shinny new high profile programs — but like, what the fuck?
I had two fires to put out on Thursday. One was the new program. We just don’t have enough information for me even to give a good assessment but they aren’t going to like the time it’s going to take to launch. My boss pushed it back up to ask for more information. All we really did was push this fire back a week probably🤣The next fire was more complicated. I opposed a potential candidate they wanted to hire. I knew it was coming. I was given 4-1-1 in the hallway a few months ago by someone who wanted to protect me🤣 I can’t say much more but they did understand why I opposed the selection, I had documentation. They understood once I explained the potential conflicts it could present for the program. I will most likely be successful in blocking the potential hire but come on…They should have known what I knew…Doesn’t anyone check references anymore?
On a positive note, I bumped into my former GM in the hallway earlier in the week. We chatted for a few minutes. It was nice to see her but she caught me at a vulnerable moment. As I was telling her everything that was going in this job, I almost cried🥺As I was saying it all out loud it became clear to me that it is really becoming too much…The gravity of that awareness makes me sad but there can also be freedom in finally accepting it.
I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday morning. I mentioned to her that not only am I in the most stressful job of my career right now but I am also having night sweat and hot flashes from Menopause. We decided to try a small dose of Effexor(SSRI) for the next 30 days. It’s recommended to help hot flashes and night sweats for women who are not candidates for hormone replacement. It’s also an anti-anxiety medication that may help me cope with job better. I have to call my doctor towards the end of the 30 days to let her know if it helps. If it does, I will stay on it at least for the next 6 to 12 months and then ween off. If it doesn’t help me, I will stop it. I will start it when I am done the antibiotic. I am hoping the Effexor helps me. The worst part of these dang hot flashes is that I generally like it cool. I keep my condo around 70 degrees or under. I often have my bedroom window cracked open at night – even in winter. I don’t like to be hot 🔥
Lastly, committing to being a vegetarian is the easiest lifestyle change I’ve ever made. Technically, I am a lacto-ovo-vegetarian who occasionally eats fish. The main reason I will never be a Vegan is because I have long standing Vitamin D and Vitamin B-12 deficiency issues. I need to get as much nutrition through food as I can because my stomach doesn’t tolerate supplements well. I also started ordering a few Vegetarian and Vegan dishes each week from Eat Clean Organization, a local food prep company. I pick my order up on Mondays after work at a local Health Food Store. Their Thai Sweet Chili Cauliflower, Madras Lentils & Chana Marsala are awesome! They make quick lunches or dinners. January is Veganuary. Maybe give Meatless Monday a try this coming week 🙂
Below are some new items I’ve added into my diet to diversify my nutrition profile. I started eating a 1/2 of an Avocado every day. Avocados are packed with good fats and nutrients. It’s truly a superfood 🥑 Imagine Organic Soups are DA BOMB. They are Green and Clean products too! I incorporated more Hemp products into my diet because Hemp is a natural source of Omega 3 Fatty Acids. Fatty Acids are good for the belly, the skin and the heart. Eating foods with Hemp in it is better than taking a Fish Oil pill for me:-) The Oatmeal tastes just like traditional Oatmeal minus the belly bloat for me. I also included some of my snacks below. I will share more new products in my future posts. I’ve also started sharing photos of new recipes I’ve tried or doctored up in my twitter feed in the right sidebar 🙂
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