It’s taken a village to keep me sane this week ☺️ Honestly, I’m not used to asking for help or asking for support. When I do reach out, it’s because I’ve hit the limit of what I am able to handle on my own.
First, I reached out to tell my leadership that I’m at my breaking point. I straight up told them I would be looking for the exit if we didn’t find some way to lessen my burden. As a result, they invited me to few meetings so I could see what management has been up to in hopes that I see why things have been so crazy and why I need to stay with them. To my surprise — they are actually standing up a whole new group around me; I was only the first hire. They intend to pull other similar programs into the new group with me. They also recognized that part of my problem is that I’ve had three Divisional Managers in five months and the temporary folks didn’t want to make any hard decisions. Lol 🙂 That’s why it’s been so crazy. They asked me to participate on the team that is planning the new group too. It’s seems to me someone is “Empire Building”. 🤣 But, I was happy to finally know structure is coming.
I am not easily impressed by managers. They are a dime a dozen where I work. My experience the last five months helped me to see how much I really do respect and trust the group of managers I used to work with in my former group. With that said, I am already impressed by my new permanent Divisional Manager; that’s saying something. She’s been in the job for two weeks and made more decisions in the last four days than the other two did in five months. For example, I had “creative” ideas on how I could mitigate a couple risks & tighten up the schedule. I couldn’t get any traction with the temporary actors. However, the new permanent manager gave me the go ahead to move forward and present them later this week when I am in Headquarters. She also took one for team by getting a meeting with the senior exec to ask for support positions. She came back with four positions – not too shabby! 👏Two of the four will support my programs because — as of 4:00pm yesterday — they confirmed I am now going to be managing THREE new programs and my budget just grew by 50%. Lol 🙂 OMG… OMFG🤣
I will try to remember to breathe… I promise ☺️Thank God I can telework one or two days per week and I only have to go to HQ every other week. I go this Thursday and then every week going forward. They said I can take the train and stay overnight if I prefer to do that instead of flying down. They said I have a budget for travel and should feel free to use it 😄That’s a relief. I may actually switch and go Wednesday to Thursday this week – that’s if I can get a room…I suppose to get through the next year I am really going to have to focus on the LONG GAME and not get caught up in the daily bullshit. Perhaps I should try to get the bullshit sucked out of my head each day🙃
While in the middle of a full on anxiety attack Tuesday, I reached out to my “Blue Love” 💙He has a rock solid stability about him that comforts me ☺️ He must have realized I was about to totally spin out…I definitely was… ☺️ I am thankful he was a good friend to me 😘 He does have a way of diffusing my “crazy” and helps to bring my anxiety level down 😊 So when he asked me to go to my happy place for a minute, I went to three place I enjoy in my mind:
(1) Berkshire Mountains in Mass (photo at top and first photo below)
(2) Beach view from my living room window (second photo below)
(3) Blue Love’s beautiful blue eyes 😍 Yes, his dreamy blue eyes are one of my happy places 💙✌️
I want to go to the Berkshires for a weekend this Spring. I was thinking of going in late April or early May but there is a good program at Kripalu in March I would like to attend. hmm…
Next topic — I can’t make myself feel good about going on SSRI Effexor for anxiety and hot flashes. I just can’t do it. I’m trying to deal with hot flashes and anxiety naturally. I am now using Red Maca Powder. Red Maca is good for hot flashes and is also an adaptogenic herb which can help with stress. It has to be cycled – meaning that you take it for four days and then take two days off. I am also eating more Avocados because they are loaded with B vitamins. When we are under stress, our bodies tend to burn through the B Vitamins. Adding a B-Complex or multi that has high potency B Vitamins can help. Since I’m not eating meat or fish, my doctor recommended I start taking B-12 with Folate every day. It’s a chewable. I’ve also gone back to taking the Magnesium with dinner and 1/2 a Xanax at bedtime the doctor recommended a few years ago so I don’t clench my jaw from anxiety in my sleep. So why yes to a 1/2 of a Xanax at bedtime but no to a low does of Effexor? Because I can skip Xanax when I don’t have anxiety. I can’t skip the Effexor. Guess what? No hot flashes or night sweats this week. That may be temporary or coincidental but I’ll take it!
How was your week? Where do you go in your mind when you need to find happiness for a minute? Where’s your happy place? How are you managing stress? How do you manage your “crazy”?
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May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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