Did you ever want to throw a grenade into your life, like burn the whole thing down, and then rebuild? That’s how I’ve been feeling in recent months. I haven’t shared much about it because it’s heavy and complicated.

For those just tuning into my blog, I’m 52 years old. I have a decent full time job and I am also a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner (AADP). I have chronic health issues that require medical care so I won’t be doing anything reckless like quitting my job…but the discontentment is the elephant in every room of my holistic being. I just can’t figure out why I feel this way…

The last time I felt this type discontentment was in Spring of 2016, I went on Kundalini Yoga worshop retreat at Kripalu in the Berkshires. After that spiritual retreat, I started praying and meditation daily and by Spring 2017 I enrolled in the Institute of Integrative Nutrition to pursue my passion of holistic wellness. I graduated in May 2018 and started Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC. I’m currently not taking clients because my real full time job is eating my lunch everyday leaving me too drained to work my personal business. I also switched my full time job in recent months…

So, how did I get here? Why am I so discontented? I live on the beach and have a decent job…but why do I still want to blow up my life and start over? Don’t worry…as I said I am not reckless…well, not anymore anyway😂Ten years ago I would have lite the match and burned it all down🔥 Since I am 52 with no desire to be a destitute Senior, I’ll be cautious with how I proceed.

Since I can’t figure this out and it’s been going on too long…I think it’s time for me to go on another retreat…I’m booking the Kundalini Yoga program at Kripalu in March. In the meantime, I will try to give myself some space to live and find happiness in this uncertainty.

Thank you to www.oliviasubmits.blog for commenting on my last Self Care Sunday post and sharing the quote at the top of this post. It has been a point of reflection for me this week as I try to find peace in the space between my unhappiness and discontentment.

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