Self Care Sunday ~ In It Together

In it together

Happy Easter 🐰 Easter is not especially important to me. As a non-practicing Catholic, it’s just another Sunday. My relationship with God doesn’t require me to go to church. My relationship with God only requires me to talk to him, to trust in him and to have faith during difficult times. Easter is, however, important to my Mother. She enjoys having the family together. Since she is 80 years old, she now wonders if every holiday is her last so not being able to be with the entire family for Easter this year is challenging for her. I can’t do anything to change that this year; all I can do is talk to her and support her through this difficult time. I encourage everyone to stay connected to your loved ones during this hard time.

I’ve been teleworking for a month now. I am grateful to still be working. I am thankful for my beautiful ocean view but I really can’t wait to get back to normalcy. I don’t like teleworking full time. Yes, my commute is only 60 seconds and I wear my yoga clothes every day. Well, everyday except days have Zoom Video Meetings. I get dressed up & put on makeup on those days. Yes, I’ve been enjoying my ocean view all day while working but but work-wise – I’ve never been busier or under more pressure at any time of my career. This week has been especially bad.

ocean view

I am a Project Lead on a high profile project. I’ve been trying to move important efforts forward but slow responses is impeding my efforts at crucial times. I actually have to work through 6 layers of management to get things done and every one of them tries to “manage” something they don’t understand completely. It’s a huge problem. I can’t really say anything without potentially making a career limiting decision. I am just doing what I can do and trying my best to stop giving myself anxiety over it.

I had a zoom meeting with company wide Execs (internal stakeholders) earlier this week and let me tell you… They were grilling me🔥No joke, grilling me with my managers on the Video call with us🤣…”What is the problem? We can help you? Why is it taking so long?” 🤣 So, I chose to carefully share that the documents they were asking about are ready – have been ready…And, then I carefully explained my organization’s management review/approval cycle. And, that’s when they knew… It wasn’t easy but I managed to give them enough information so they could see I was moving things forward but it’s all stuck outside of my control.   Well, that led to an urgent action to turn something around by close of business Friday.  No one in management could do it so,  yep, I  worked all Wednesday night… I was absolutely disgusted on Thursday morning during our telecom with them that I almost cried. My direct supervisor actually called me and apologized. He told me he informed folks above him he was not giving me any more actions until further notice – in other words… find someone else☺️For clarity, my direct supervisor and I area in complete alignment – it’s above him where things get squirrelly.  The company wide Execs (internal stakeholders) now want to meet with me directly bi-weekly.

This job has been nothing but drama this week… Honestly, it’s been nothing but pressure and drama since I started it in August. Let me say this with absolute sincerity, if the right opportunity came along and I could leave my current position to do something lower profile – I would be totally up for it.   I don’t hate this job – but it’s at the point of diminishing returns. I am not going to rush into anything but I am now going to open myself up to accepting a new opportunity.  I shouldn’t be crying during telecoms from stress and pressure created by my own leadership. At 3:30pm on Thursday, I put an Out Of Office Reply on my email until 6:00am on Monday. It’s funny because New Jersey is still under a Stay At Home Order. It’s not like I am going anywhere. I just wanted to be sure folks knew I am off of the clock – don’t call me.

out of office meme

Early Friday I masked up and went to a small local grocery store. I did laundry, worked on my balcony garden, cleaned, listened to music and actually had a rather nice and relaxing day. Below are some updated photos of the garden and micro greens I am growing. The greens are just about ready to eat 🤣

balcony garden
micro greens

The Corona Virus experience has really put things into perspective for me. Life is fragile.  If this is it, can I say I am fulfilled and happy in my life?  I can’t answer yes to either of those with complete honesty.  As far as my job goes, I am “hanging in there”.  That’s not happiness or fulfillment. God didn’t intend me to live a life the I am “hanging in there”. Working a job that that require me to take Xanax every night at bedtime is not the way God intended my life to be.  Thankfully, I had the courage to leave all unhealthy relationship behind a few years ago.  My relationships and connections are healthy, happy and balanced!  Do I wish I saw certain people more than I do? Yes!  But, overall, things are in balance.

Has the Corona experience changed your perspective?

These Chocolate Easter Bunnies are a reminder to wear a face mask when out in public; protect yourself and others 😷 No one is immune to Corona Virus – no one!

Happy Easter

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Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

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