Self Care Sunday ~ Selfie and Self Reflection

Selfie

Seemed like a good reason to do a Selfie Sunday and share my Club Quarantine Sweatshirt 💙Yep, I dance at Club Quarantine with DJ D-Nice and bought the sweatshirt made by Will Smith‘s Belair Athletics. Proceeds from the sale of sweatshirt go towards the CDC’s Corona Virus Foundation. The sweatshirts are high quality too✌️You can dance too by following DJ D-Nice on Instagram at www.instagram.com/dnice. DJ D-Nice usually goes LIVE on Instagram between 5pm and 8pm EDT.  You click his profile picture to enter the LIVE room.  Each night D-Nice changes up the flavor of music he plays. I personally like when he does a set of old school Motown, R&B and early dance music from the 70s and 80s; he loses me with the hip hop. I don’t hip hop 🤣

John Lennon quote

I love the above quote by John Lennon. He saw himself as a reflection of humanity. So what does that mean? He saw himself no better, no worse, no more privileged to anything than any other person. That’s been a point of reflection for me this week and here’s where I’ve ended up….There is no room in my life for anyone who does not have empathy and compassion for human suffering. There is no room in my life for anyone who isn’t humble and does not want to be a servant to the highest good of all not just self.  Our graves will all be the same size…If all you are worried about is your dyed hair, nails or home improvement projects, consider yourself privilege and offer someone who is suffering help. I just heard Elizabeth Warren say on AMJoy on @MSNBC that she supports Biden for President because he has a good heart. She said, “I want a man with a good heart!” Me too! I want a man with good heart for President and as my lover  🤣💙😘

Many folks like to claim they are “woke” – but no one is “woke” unless they see the problem in the juxtapose of people who can quarantine or social distance with a job, shelter and food vs. those who are in lines for food for the first time in their entire life, still waiting on unemployment and living in crowded refugee camps and urban tenements. I’ve always donated part of my salary to charity; I would have a much bigger bank account if I didn’t. At the end of the day, money is not a motivator for me personally or professionally. Supporting family, friends, helping local neighbors, supporting local restaurant employee relief funds and small local businesses motivates me.
humanity

So, now it’s time for a work update… Sigh…long exhausted – what the actual fuck… sigh… It’s a been rough few weeks in work. I’ve been telling management for months about my risks and concerns.  I’ve known all along the explosion that happened last week was coming. I warned leaders a while ago… I have documentation of me making multiple requests for someone to fill in my knowledge gaps and I actually requested “all hands on deck” about three months ago so we could get ahead of this explosion before it happened — Nope, nothing… I’ve been providing a bi-weekly status update to my leadership and their support staff since the day I started. That document has the whole history of my risks and concerns documented. So when someone acts like they didn’t know…
not today bitch

I have the receipts!  I reminded them I am STAFF; not a manager and they were supposed to hire someone to do “contractual stuff” over six months ago. That position was never filled and that is and has been the problem. I have been giving them bi-weekly status on that risk for six months.  If leadership was leaving a high level project like this on the back of only ONE staff member without management providing direction or buy-in, then it would appear there is a bigger problem in the organization.  I’ve learned over these months, I can’t trust any one of them so I keep receipts for moments like this.

ask the universe

Yep, I am praying and asking the Universe for PROTECTION from my own management and asking for direction in making this decision.  Honestly, I feel like it’s time for me to call it a wrap in this job…but I am worried if it will be a career limiting decision to walk away from a high profile project at such a crucial time. I’m also worried about where would I go in the “company”.

I often wonder what folks think when they read my writings. Do you think I am nuts? Do you think I am stark raving out of my mind or full of bullshit? I suppose you could think any of those things.  I can tell you for sure… I am passionate, romantic and there is a good bit of tragedy behind my brown eyes.  I am not everyone’s cup of tea for sure…Right now, I’m just trying to control this work stress in the middle of the pandemic, completely alone in my apartment while trying not to spiral into a depression.  My life definitely feels like a Mad Girl’s Love Song.

Mad Girl Love Songs

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Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

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3 thoughts on “Self Care Sunday ~ Selfie and Self Reflection

  1. Your work situation sounds really tough, and it sounds like you’re taking really good steps in your own best interest. Sending lots of warm energy…

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  2. Thank you. Yes, it’s escalated to a point I doubt it can be fixed. It’s been a problem from the start and I’ve been trying to make it work…it seems to be time to let go. That’s actually the prayer I said today. I let go and open to new possibilities. Thanks for the warm energies

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  3. Well, at least you realize that and know it’s not you. Letting go and being open to what comes next is also a really good thing to do. 💐

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