Self Care Sunday ~ I Can’t Breathe

George Floyd
TRIGGER WARNING – You may not like this post. If this post makes you angry, you can feel free to stop reading my blog because we obviously do not resonate with each other. If this post makes you uncomfortable, I encourage you to sit with discomfort explore those feelings.

It’s not easy to see oneself. It’s not easy to see things in ourselves we do not like, be open and willing to change. I do, however, think it’s important to admit when we are wrong. I think it’s important to say we didn’t fully understand and state it out loud. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.”

A few years back, I was critical of Colin Kapernick taking a knee at NFL games during the National Anthem. I was critical because I felt it wasn’t the right venue for him to make a political statement. I remember saying, “Playing football is his job. Most employers would not tolerate protests while on the job.” I see now I just didn’t understand why he was doing it because I grew up with White Privilege.
Colin Kapernick

I grew up in a largely Irish Catholic neighborhood in Philadelphia. All of my childhood friends were white. I attended an all girl catholic prep school for high school which also all white. Honestly, I think I was born a Liberal so I always had an open mind. I also had a social conscious since I was young. So, when I got to La Salle University, I was an activitist for Amnesty International, Green Peace and various other organizations. I’ve donated part of my salary to charities since I was teenager. I guess I am trying to say I was more open minded than most in my family and my community. But I realize now that I must have carried some of their bias with me because I just couldn’t see why Colin Kapernick taking knee was so important to his community and the world.
MLK

In the last four years, racial tensions have been stoked by POTUS. As I’ve been opening my eyes to division he is creating, I am becoming enraged by the suffering he is creating for the black community. His actions are creating an environment where privileged white people, in and out of law enforcement, think it’s ok to murder black people openly without consequences. As I watch this happen, I walk around with tears in my eyes most days. It has to stop. Four police officers held down George Floyd for 8 minutes with one having a knee in his neck. Regardless of whether he committed a so called crime he was telling them he couldn’t breathe. For the last 2:43 minutes he held him down, he was unconscious. It was murder… How else would you explain it? One officer committed murder the other three were accomplices. All should be charged. Losing their jobs isn’t enough.

Watching this explode in the last few days, I feel for my black friends and coworkers who have sons and daughters. I empathize with them because I imagine they worry every day their child leaves the house. I reached out this morning to a coworker/friend. She is black and she has a son in his 20s who is a musician. I reached out to her this morning because I wanted her to know I see and understand now. I said I know she must worry every day about him and I am here to use my white privilege voice to stand in solidarity with her.

I empathize because it is morally wrong for any nation who calls themselves a democracy to allow this to continue. However, you must refrain from violence when protesting. You must be smart to win this racial war. You must be strategic and calculating with your words. You must peacefully protest or you no better than your oppressor.
peaceful protest

 

To my black fellow Americans, I AM IN this fight with you. I am on your side. I will use my White Privilege to be your voice and if given the opportunity, I would stand in a line like the line in the below photo to protect you. I am sorry I didn’t wake up to your suffering sooner.
White Privileged

I was listening to my favorite group from the 70s, Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, today. OHIO and Wooden Ships The below songs especially seem to revelant to what’s going on in our world today.

Won’t you join me in using our White Privilege to help our fellow black Americans change the world with non-violence?

(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Blue Love Haiku #16 ~ Blue Love Poetry

amadgirllovesong

IG: amadgirllovesong

Blue Love Haiku #16

Version #1
Breaking the darkness
The sun fills our hearts with hope
Of untethered joy

Version #2
Breaking the darkness
Your hand slides between my legs
Lighting my desire


(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Bad Days Happen

survival guide

What are you overcoming today?

I’ve been feeling a bit lonely lately.  It’s weird. I am generally a loner.  I like my own company.  I don’ t need a lot of social interaction.  Perhaps social distancing for Corona Virus and Teleworking Full time has led to too much alone time for me. I won’ t lie. I am little sad today.

I am just not sure what to do about it.  Normally I would reach out to friends to schedule dinner or drive up Philly to visit family when I’ve noticed I’ve been alone too much in the past.  In our current situation, I can’t do that.  I am hoping to be able to go up to Philly in a few weeks. In the meantime, I’ve been talking to folks on the phone or texting with people.

Perhaps having a super crazy job right now is a good thing. It keeps me busy on workdays.  I’ve been staying active and getting outside to walk but let me tell you… the whole face mask thing is driving me crazy.  It’s hard to breathe sometimes and it fogs up my glasses.  I have found masks with a metal or wire clip at the nose keep my glasses from steaming.  Sometimes I just stay home instead of dealing with it. I drove through downtown Atlantic City today and it was a ghost town on Memorial Day weekend.  It’s just sad.  Nothing feels right today and I am finding myself missing the people I love more today than any other day. I’m just not sure why I feel so blue today.

If you live alone and are spending too much time alone, consider reaching out to a friend or loved one today. Do something that makes you happy. Perhaps get some fresh air in a place where you can take the face mask off for while and just breathe fresh air. How are you coping?
(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday ~ New Normal

Brene Brown new normal

As we all work towards acceptance that our normal is forever changed since Corona Virus, I am writing today about what’s changed in my life. How I am adapting. What I am choosing to let go and what I am embracing and enjoying.

What’s changed with me? I am on 100% maximum telework for the foreseeable future. In my current role, I can work from home without any impact to my responsibilities. I am allowed to go into the office to work occasionally, if I prefer, but I am not required. At first, I found this is bit stressful and isolating. I think that is because we were also under a Stay At Home Order. Since we have a little more freedom to move about, I’ve been enjoying working from home. I do MISS seeing folks in the building but not that much anymore🤣

I know a lot of folks who are teleworking are rolling out of bed and working in their pajamas – not me. I need a morning routine or I don’t feel settled. I still start work between 6:00am and 6:30am so I get out of bed around 5:30am and take a shower. If I have Zoom meetings, I pay a little more attention to hair and make-up. I put Morning Joe on @MSNBC on the TV, make coffee, water my plants and eat breakfast while I start reading/sending emails. It’s a routine. I need a routine to help manage anxiety.
morning routine

One thing that has changed with working from home is my work wardrobe. I wear sneakers most days now. Since my apartment is L shaped, I have plenty of space to pace 10,000 steps a day. So I wear sneakers with everything now. I have fashion sneakers, glitter sneaks, casual sneaks. I have sneaks I only wear indoors and sneaks I only wear when I am walking on the street. Sneakers are my new fashion statement. A blouse, ankle pixie khakis, capri jeans  or a casual skirt with sneakers is my new work outfit 😁 I love it ✌️I just bought these gems the other day. I can’t wait for them to arrive💙

Sketchers

Since I’ve been focusing on getting 10,000 steps in most days, I’ve changed my outside walk routine as well. My normal walks ranges between 2.5 and 4 miles. I will walk 6 to 8 miles if I am feeling good. Lately, I’ve been trying to increase the pace of my stride and get my heart rate up while walking outside. So, the first minute or two are a warm-up and then for next 30 minutes or so I power walk. After the 30 minutes of “exercise”, I slow down a bit and walk for enjoyment. The biggest new normal of my regular walks is — I always have a face mask with me now. I don’t wear it if no one is within 6FT of me but if I see folks coming near me on foot or on bike, I pull it up over my nose and mouth. It’s not hard. I consider it a sign of respect. It shows I care about them. I wish face masks were not politicized and I wish more folks thought about others more than being self indulgent😷Since it’s a holiday weekend and I live in a resort town, the social distance experiment will be interesting this week.  I will keeping my distance from the crowded spots.

social distance

I don’t know who needs to hear this but…Going to the beach, walking on the boardwalk, getting your hair cut, getting your nails done and going out to dinner are conveniences and luxuries of modern day living. They are not civil rights or liberties. When you are asked to wear a face mask, you are asked to do so to protect humanity. No one is violating your rights 🙄
civil rights civil liberties

There is a new normal in my job now too. I achieve two important milestone 4 months early because of a calculated risk I took when I met with a regulatory body.  They ended up giving  me approval to take a short cut on one milestone which to our surprise also eliminated the requirement of a second milestone too. BOOM 🤣 Everyone was excited and happy. So excited and happy that my GM called into a Zoom meeting without me and got herself committed to accelerating my schedule without talking to me first.  That’s when the fight broke out 🤣 She didn’t understand the concurrent activities 🙄 She’s new but I told YOU – I got zero fucks to give anymore…They put me in this role and gave me a seat at that table so they are gonna hear what I have to say 🤣I told her she should have left the schedule alone and just messaged that the team is hoping to complete the big milestone a month early unless we hit a snag.  It will gives a little wiggle room 🤣Well, my direct supervisor was the “referee” for most of this week 🤣 God bless him.  He works with mostly women who all have direct communication styles.  He calls himself the “token man” but actually he’s the referee🤣He probably deserves a combat medal 🤣 She admitted she should checked with me first before making the commitment but also worked her ass off this week to mitigate the impact. What she did will probably end up being a non-issue for me because something is held up in the approval cycle outside of our control.  If she would have talked to me, she would have known about that and not put everyone through the drama. She is new to this project. She’ll learn – eventually🤣

She and I are good now✌️We fought it out – with the help of our Referee 🤣So, this is the crazy part of our schedule which will continue until we release a public “Call for Proposals” at the end of the summer. I own every action until that happens but they now have been throwing bodies from organizations all over the “company” to help me in every possible way. The guy building the website says, “I have 20 emails from you before I even get in at 8:00am” 🤣 But the plus side is wear myself out by 3:30/4:00pm so no one ever gets a late day action from me.  I can’t even tell you how many new people I’ve met through Zoom meetings in the last few weeks.  So my new normal will be crazy for a while 🤣
crazy

The other good thing that happened this week in work is they confirmed a posting for someone to take over for me after my “start-up” actions are done should be going out soon. This means I will definitely move on to new role or project after my key milestones are done — sometime in Autumn. I am working with a local Director to identify opportunities but my current group said they already have something in mind for me when I finish this up. I just have buckle up and ride this crazy new normal out for a while.

Since my normal isn’t normal anymore, I am might as well tell you I haven’t been on a bike in years – I mean years.  It makes me a little nervous🤣The local bike rental shop in the next town over opened this weekend.  I am going to rent a bike one day to see if I want to buy one.  My building has a bike storage room so I won’t have too bring it up into my apartment.  I would like to ride the boardwalk end to end, AC to Ventnor, at sunrise one morning 😁🚴🏻‍♀️

What’s your new normal? Are you adjusting, changing your routine? If things are hard right now, remember:
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(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Trust Blue Love

Screen Shot 2020-05-20 at 8.28.28 PM

It’s been a strange few days. I’ve been getting reminders throughout the day that have been centered around the word trust. Almost as if someone is asking me if I trust them or like God or the Universe is asking me to TRUST.

I was in Zoom meetings and telcons for just about seven hours today. It was a mentally exhausting day. During one of the phone calls,  I started to daydreaming a bit. I started thinking of BLUE LOVE💙 His birthday is coming up next week. I thought back to the same day a year ago. I remembered it was around that same time he announced the big change was making in his life. His announcement prompted me to wake up with my heart beating out my chest one morning.  Like seriously, I thought I was going explode🤣 I just had to confess to him – like he was my priest🤣 I had tell him my real feelings.  I spent so much of my life being afraid to show people who I really am. I’ve spent my whole life in protection mode and hiding my true feelings.  I just didn’t want to hide from him anymore 💙By 7:30am, I confessed to him and then I spent the rest of the day dizzy, nauseous and relieved 🤣

I have TRUST issues and fear of intimacy issues from traumas related to men. It’s kind of big deal for me to be that vulnerable with anyone.  Something changed that day. I changed that day.  I learned that day and every day since… that I am safe with him. My heart is safe with him 💙 I learned that day and every day since that my vulnerability and well-being are safe with BLUE LOVE.  Something about knowing I was safe to be vulnerable with him gave me the space to heal past traumas over the last year.  Knowing I was safe with him was a Catalyst for healing for me 💙

For some reason…something that deep came to my mind while I was daydreaming this morning.  Then I saw the number 1010 like five times in row; it was almost flashing.  I googled 1010 and this is what I found💙 A profoundly deep moment in the middle of a very long and tiring work day 🤣

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(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday ~ Destiny Rarely Misses

destiny

REMEMBER Transformations are never easy…To transform into new versions of ourselves, we often have to strip away everything we know about ourselves to become someone new.

I think this is problem I’ve been having in my job. I  started this job in August 2019. Since day one it has been demanding I become a new Linda and I’ve been in full resistance — I’ve been in resistance because I didn’t know that was what I was signing up for. They didn’t tell me how complicated the project would be.  They were not honest and did not tell me 95% of the burden would be on my shoulders. I never made a conscious choice to become this “work” version of myself. It wasn’t until I was already in the job and saw the full picture that I understood who I would need to become to successfully run this project.  

My truth is…I have an Anxiety Disorder and this job has been triggering it since day one. I’m back to taking Xanax at bedtime to stop clenching my jaw. Otherwise, I’ll worry all night. I MISS having a low pressure job 🤣
change

Most folks would call me a Project Manager but my actual role is the Pre Award Lead for two new programs. All that means is I identify and execute the steps needed to launch the new programs successfully and then turn them over to someone else to perform regular operations and maintenance.   In one regard, the project is the perfect fit for me. I like project work because there is a beginning, middle and end.  I also like project work because it’s diversified.  I like to move around and have new experiences so project management work is actually a good fit for me. The role is also a good fit because  my brain is hard-wired for strategic planning and I enjoy working on the front end of the development cycle.

In other ways, this is the  hardest job I ever had in my entire life… The HARDEST… At 53 years old, I just wasn’t intending on signing up for the hardest job of my career 🤣 YOU feel me?  🤣 Can you understand why I was so bitter and had so much resistance to it?  Also, I walked into a fucked up situation. They were already four to six months behind schedule on my very first day in the job.  A good bit of my early efforts were spent trying to find the most expeditious path forward without breaking any laws 🤣 The project has been understaffed and I’ve encountered one land mine after another. My leadership doesn’t understand the work and every “expert” I’ve needed guidance from to move this forward has been new in their role, and therefore, conservative with their guidance. Yawn, I am LIKE fucking over it already 🤣 It’s actually become A big FAT joke between my boss and I that so many folks are new in their jobs and afraid to make the wrong decision.  So we agreed I should just start doing my own research and sending it to them asking for written concurrence.  If it’s wrong, I’ll take the hit. I KID you not. …  It won’t be wrong…I am good at research and documentation. Can you understand why I ran out of fucks to give along the way in this crazy fucked up job? Seriously – I am straight out of fucks..fucks

To help mitigate risks to the program and for the company, I am focused on staying with the program until they “handoff” packages to our parent company targeted for Autumn 2020.  I am working to accelerate that 🤣They know I am not interested in working daily operations.  Once they bring on the full time person for daily operations, there will be wiggle room for me to transition into a new role.  Also I am pretty sure leaving at the critical point of the schedule on a highly visible project could be the kiss of death to my career and finding other projects to work on 🤣 If I stay until after the key milestones, I will have greater pool of opportunities. So, here I am… It’s funny because the early part of the week was really HARD but good news on Wednesday made the rest of the week rewarding. I’m becoming the Linda I never asked to be in a role I never intended to apply for; I was recruited (selected). I didn’t apply for it…

I don’t believe in coincidences. Destiny rarely MISSES.  Perhaps destiny found me while I was busy looking for it in other places 🤣

Transformations

Funny story… When I stepped out on my balcony to take the below photo this afternoon, the wind blew the door shut and broke the handle 😳 I was stuck on my balcony on the seventh floor of a high rise and the front door to my apartment has a deadbolt on it. 😲The building maintenance staff wouldn’t be able to come in without taking my door off 😳After freaking out at first, I remembered my balcony window doesn’t lock all of the way. I was able to pry it open and climb in through the window. However, now I have to figure how I am going to water my little plants on the balcony while I wait for the door to be fixed.  I will have to either climb out the window or reach all the way out and hope the water hits them 🤣 I think I deserve a slice of CHOCOLATE CAKE  tonight 💙

ALERT:  CODED MESSAGE IN THIS POST 💙😘balcony garden
(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Smile For Me ~ Blue Love Poetry

Smile ~ Blue Love Poetry
Smile for me
Light my heart with
The sparkle of
Your crystal blue eyes
I need your love
In my life
Smile my love
Shine my
Divine Masculine
I need your
Essence in my orbit
Call to
The Highest Priestess
Within me
I stand as
Your Divine Feminine
Naked
In front of you
Holding the key
To your desire
Between my breasts
Smile and
Unlock my sensuality
Rest easy
My love
Our divine connection
Is ordained by
The heavens
To last forever
Your heart is only
One beat away
From mine
Smile Blue Love
There is no reason
To be sad
You are loved
Beyond measure
Smile for me
And let the light
In your crystal
Blue eyes shine
Smile for me
Smile
(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

NOTE This Bill Withers song has been in my head forever. I like to send Blue Love smiles 😍 I think we need each other’s smile today 😍

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Blue Love Haiku #15

Love

Hi
As I mentioned in yesterday’s Self Care Sunday Post, I am posting the solution to the Coded Message Activity. It’s Blue Love Haiku #15 💙 I was going to wait until later in the week to post this but I am having a very strong Blue Love vibe today so I am answering the “call” of my heart 💙😘

Blue Love Haiku #15
In loving you, I (5 syllables)
Set you free to find yourself (7 syllables)
In love’s reflection (5 syllables)
(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday ~ A Coded Message

Love

My perspective on love has changed over the years.  The younger unhealed version of myself expressed love almost as a  desperation; it was a bit clingy. It was focused on holding on too tight. It was possessive in fear of losing it. Fear based love isn’t really love at all; it’s attachment.  IN  recent years, I’ve learned to love everyone without attachments.

In recent years, I’ve challenged myself to grow through self reflection and focusing on LOVING  myself first.  In stripping away all of the bullshit I told myself over the years, I started to really see myself. Without turning away or finding a distraction, I looked at myself. I sat with myself. I was then able to see things that happened to me in my past where not my fault but I let them become my story. I owned them. I wore them. I became the victim to the limitations of the pain and fear of emotional intimacy.

I started telling myself, “YOU  are strong enough to change this now. It’s not too late.”  I cried for the life I never had. I wept for the years I lived in fear. I mourned for the heartache and abandonment of my young soul. I grieved for everything I lost.  I stopped telling myself bullshit. I accepted accountability and responsibility for owning something that wasn’t mine and started showing myself compassion, empathy and grace. I broke the cycle. I broke the cycle of fear. By letting myself go to the very bottom of my pain, I  SET  myself free. I broke the cycle of fear and pain in my life.

I’ve learned to love in separation. “I love  YOU” is eternal and limitless when a true connection exists between two people. This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationship but also between friends and family. Think of the friend who calls or texts you at the exact moment you are thinking of them. Remember how it feels to talk to an old friend after a long separation yet you feel as if it was just yesterday you were near them.  Love is eternal, limitless and  FREE. It is our minds that try  TO  restrict love and put judgments on it.

Can you  FIND  a few moments to sit with  YOURSELF?  Can you find healing  IN  letting  go of the story you told yourself before you were healed?  Can you feel  LOVE’S  warmth on your face in your heart?  Can you shine with me in love’s  REFLECTION?

Love

I had the strangest dream last night or actually early this morning. I had a dream that someone was showing me how to write CODED messages in my blog posts. The voice was saying I would need to know how to deliver coded messages to people. It kind of freaked me out. I don’t know what that is about but the dream seemed VERY VERY real. I do consider myself as part of the “resistance” against current Administration. I am really hoping things don’t reach the point that I need to deliver coded messages to other members of the resistance 😳

I experimented with embedding a coded message for Blue Love in the first five paragraphs of this blog post. When arranged properly, the words form a Haiku.  It’s my Blue Love Haiku #15 💙

ACTIVITY:  

Find the BOLDED ITALICIZED WORDS  in the first five paragraphs of this post. Remember this code, I may use it again without providing any instructions 🤣

Hint:  There are 13 BOLDED ITALICIZED WORDS in this post.

Once you find all 13 words,  arrange them as a Haiku by putting them in sentences that are:

5 syllables in the first sentence
7 syllables in second sentence
5 syllables in the last sentence.

Have fun 💙 I’ll post Blue Love Haiku #15 later this week. Heres’ an example of how a Haiku is arranged for you to use as a guide:

Haiku

(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Growing from seeds

Screen Shot 2020-05-06 at 5.17.34 PM

When I realized I would be home by myself a lot due to teleworking and the New Jersey Stay at Home Order, I decided to put some energy behind tending to a balcony garden of potted plants as a distraction from anxiety attacks.

I’ve never been much of a gardener. When I lived in a single home in the past, the bunnies used to eat all of my plants. Those adorable little gangsters caused me a good bit of frustration.  I eventually gave up gardening until this attempt at a potted garden on my balcony.  My experience so far has been encouraging. However, I already have a few lessons learned.

First, Mid March is too early to plant anything – even a potted garden. The herbs are really growing great so they may be ok any time of the year inside.  Spinach is a cold weather plant and is doing really well too. The Kale is growing fine but Lettuce… Oh my goodness, the Lettuce is not being cooperative. I may try to grow Lettuce from seeds in cell trays and then transplant them into the bigger pots.  That’s a weekend project.

Second, it’s windy on my balcony. I live in a beach front condo on the seventh floor. My unit is on a corner so it gets the wind in two directions.  It can be windy on the balcony even on warm days. We’ve also had a lot of storms lately. It’s been very changeable weather. One day it’s sunny and next it’s a wind storm out there. The plants are getting beat up outside on the balcony. I find myself bringing them inside a lot. I don’t like to do that because they bring bugs with them but my little seedlings are looking a bit depressed from being blown around.  So, I will live with bugs to watch the seeds I planted grow.

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The most important thing I’ve learned from these plants is that good things take time. It took time, water and a little sun for the seeds to push through the soil. I am happy to see seeds I planted grow but I am also not attached to them. I’ve learned to love without attachments.  I am not looking to be perfect with these plants. I just want the experience of tending to them. If the Lettuce does not want to grow, it’s ok. I will give it one more shot, perhaps, then let it go. It’s really about act of tending to the plants that helps manage my anxiety. Harvesting and being able to eat what I grow is a big bonus but not my main objective in this activity.

I read the below passage by Khalil Gibran earlier today.  I think it’s just beautiful.  Fear often holds us back from becoming who we are meant to be.  Just as a seedling can’t go back to being a seed once it pokes through the soil, we can’t go back to being who we were in the past or stay who we are today because we are afraid.

So today I encourage you to breathe through the fears and become the ocean…

Fear Khalil Gibran
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May you be happy
May you be loved

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