Remember George Magazine?

George Magazine

My favorite magazine to read in my 20s and 30s was George, a magazine centered around politics that was published by John F. Kennedy Jr. I actually remember reading the issue that is featured in the above photo. I’ve always been interested in politics. I am still interested in politics. I don’t want to be involved in politics and I don’t want to run for office but I like civilized politics.

I’ve been registered as an Independent or Democrat since I turned 18 years old. My entire family has been life long Republicans. I am the only Democrat. We do not talk politics in the family 😂 I tend to be a moderate blue. I don’t like the extreme ideology of either the Reds or Blues. Extremist are making politics especially troubling these days. The rhetoric is intense, inflammatory and dangerous.

If you know me personally, I am no weak flower. I do not like being bullied, pressured or coerced. The more someone pressures me, the more I will do something extreme to let them know to back the fuck off. This is where I need to make a confession and make amends to my fellow moderate liberals. In November of 2016, my pant-suit wearing friends were flooding my Facebook newsfeed with extremist rhetoric. They were texting me. I can’t even tell you many times I had to tell them to back off. I was a registered voter and have voted Blue in just about every election since I was 18. Just stop already.

Just before entering the voting booth, I got one final text and I just about lost it. So I went into the booth and voted straight Red as a fuck you 😱😱I felt immediately sick after doing it. Thankfully, my state is a Blue state and my Red vote didn’t matter in my state. However, it matters today. Everyday I get little more irritated and hope the end is in sight.

I needed to write this out loud because I felt like I let myself down. I needed to “out” myself to atone for my sins. I am true blue. How could I vote Red out of spite? I am cracking up because as I wrote “true blue” I immediately got a flash in my mind of Blue Love wearing a blue button down preppy shirt looking at me all cute with those beautiful blue eyes ☺️ I am even true blue when it comes to men. I digress, I am true blue when it comes to politics💙💙

While I am not enjoying the extreme politics and polarization in our nation these days, I am enjoying watching the democratic processes play out. I have been watching and following the SCOTUS Confirmation hearings. If you are not for Roe vs. Wade, I am not for you – bottom line! I personally do not believe in abortion. I personally would never have an abortion. However, I believe every woman has the right to make that choice. I am watching RBG tonight On Demand! RBG is about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. I am looking forward to it.

I will say that I do not plan to write about politics on this blog going forward. This is a one and done confession for atonement and just letting everyone know where I stand💙💙💙💙 I may only leave this on here temporarily. I don’t want to make this blog a target for attacks based upon what I wrote here. I will see how things play out.

As far as my work project goes, well my Legal Eagle self found a loophole all on my own while researching Statutes🙌☺️ YAY ME. Did I ever mention I got a Paralegal Certificate while in college many years ago so I know how to do Legal Research and citations? 😉😂😂😂😂 Well, we had four legal hurdles to clear. What I found this morning cleared three of them. Legal advised we only have one more to clear. However, the last one is big! It needs signature authorization as high as you can go in the “company”. We need to strategize the approach on this. I will crafting the documents for his signature & I have the support of my whole Organizational Leadership Team. I can, at least, live with myself now because I advocated to the extent possible. If nothing else, it showed management that I am no weak flower and I will fight for the things I care about 🌸🌺

My tummy is still sore and not feeling great. I am waiting the biopsy results which may not come until next week. They were not back as of this morning. It has to be something for it to hurt like this for this long ☹️

Oh yeah… Fly Eagles Fly

Views expressed on this blog are my personal views

EAGLES

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Life Coach Jargon

art

In the last year, I’ve been exposed to many coaching techniques. A lot of Life Coaches these days talk about positivity, staying in alignment, flowing with the Universal energies and offering no resistance. But what does this lofty jargon mean? What are the real world applications? What does it mean to flow?

Let me first say, you do not need to be positive all of the time. Forcing yourself to be positive is not authentic. It’s more important for you to acknowledge your true feelings. Be miserable and feel sorry for yourself for a day, if you need to. Then, work to release it, accept it and move on. Authenticity is more important than positivity. Putting a happy face on a problem won’t make it go away. Living in truth will at least help you adapt to a new reality and make you emotionally stronger.

What does it mean to stay in alignment? All this really means is to become so in tune with yourself that you can intuitively feel when you are doing something that is NOT beneficial to your long term growth and well-being. When you know are you doing something that makes you unhappy, that breaks you down and wears you out, you are no longer aligned with your highest good. Alignment means you are lined up with the path for your highest good. A word of caution – the path to your highest good can go through the valley of hell. You can be frustrated and struggling even while in alignment. It really depends on what life lessons you are supposed to learn. Remember to check in with yourself and be sure you are suffering for the right reasons. If you are suffering because you are growing, changing and living outside of your comfort zone, you are still in alignment with your highest good. It’s really that simple.

Flowing with the Universe and offering no resistance is tricky. It means accepting you have no control over some things. It requires us to let go when something is no longer working out for our highest good. It requires surrendering instead of struggling and pushing. It’s hard because life sucks sometimes. There are times when we all want to kick and scream like a toddler having a tantrum. No one enjoys change. No one wants to accept rejection. No one wants to move on. No one wants to let go when the heart wants to hold on. If you can work towards using these sucky times of life as opportunities to grow, learn something about yourself, adapt and become stronger, you will be flowing with Universe instead of digging your heels in the sand resisting.

So, you wonder if I actually practice all of this New Age mumbo jumbo. I try. That’s about all I can say about it. Sometimes days I flow like I am riding a magic carpet; other days I fall flat in the sand because my heels are stuck in resistance. But I try😊

On the work front, I’ve been actively going on the offensive to reshape the expectations of leadership so they understand what is achievable within my scope. Second, I’ve been speaking truth to power; it isn’t easy. I have to speak more truth to power tomorrow morning at 8:30am…😂 Although this job has been a great growth experience, I am not yet sure about staying long term. One deciding factor will be if they decide to support a Grand Research Challenge. I would love to work on a project like that! Otherwise, I am keeping ALL of my options open.

Unfortunatley, I am still sick. I took Mucinex, Flonase and Decongestants for a week. My sinuses and ears are still jacked up. Since it’s been over seven days, my Doctor gave me an antibotic. Hopefully, it kicks in soon. I have to call on Friday if my ears don’t open up. I don’t feel horrible. Just a little tired and my hearing is muffled 🤧😷

Finally, I am making a committment to myself to get back to writing poetry. I hope to post something for the Blue Love collection on Friday. A little blue eyed spark of lust would help with getting the poetic mojo going 😉💥🔥😋😘 I could use a little crystal blue sparkle ☺️

blue eyes

Life Lessons and Perseverance

Albert Einstein Life Lessons

I’ve been noticing a lot of posts on Instagram lately stating that things are easy when you are in the “flow” with the Universe. Folks are asserting that what is meant for you should always be easy and come without resistance. While I understand the concept, I see things a little differently; here’s why.

Sometimes the struggle is part of our lesson. Sometimes the struggle is where we grow, learn and adapt. If we never struggle, perhaps we never truly learn how to persevere. If we don’t persevere through adversity, perhaps we don’t learn our depth of strength and fortitude. I think guiding folks to believe things should always be easy, perhaps trains them to avoid the very struggle that is supposed to make them stronger and more resilient. If folks are always expecting things to be easy, they will not be prepared to rise to life’s challenges. Do you think it’s easy for a butterfly to break out of a cocoon? Do you think it’s easy for a drug addict to stay clean? The process is a struggle but the end result is magnificent.

From my experience, you can still be doing what is meant for you, still be in the flow and still be in alignment with the Universe even when you feel uncomfortable, frustrated and burnt out. Yes, it’s true – you can. If you were intended to learn perseverance, things will not be easy. I think the key is to ask yourself if you are growing, upleveling or expanding in your current situation. If you are, then you are still in alignment. If you aren’t, you are most likely no longer in alignment. We were not meant to be stagnant beings. We were meant to evolve, change and grow.

Here’s an example from my own life…

In December 2017, I accepted a one year assignment doing a job completely out of my comfort zone. The application and interview process were easy. Things went smoothly. I felt good. I knew this experience was meant for me. I applied and got the job without any resistance. I was definitely in the flow.

I’ve been in the job since early February. I’ve had many successes and have received a lot of encouragement from leadership. But this job is frustrating! It is stressful and it is hard at times. So hard at times I’ve considered giving up – I’ve persevered. Even though it can be challenging at times, that doesn’t mean it was not meant for me. It doesn’t mean I am out of alignment. What it means is that I am learning something about myself through these challenges. I am being force to uplevel myself. I am being asked to work at a level higher than ever before.

This job forces me to have daily interaction with internal and external stakeholder at all levels of the corporate ladder. I interact all day; it’s exhausting at times. If you know me, I am introverted. I could hide in my cube all day not saying a word. In this job, I must engage; therefore, I am stretching and growing. I am also trying to change company culture and champion for the proverbial underdog. Not as easy as it sounds. My Sponsor asked me to help her shape the future.  I am her boots on the ground.  Do you think asking folks to change the way the they do business is easy? We all know how folks feel about change. Lol 😂 This job has bit of sales component to it. If you know me, you know I HATE small talk. 😂 This job involves auditing current practices. Folks just love that I am peeking into their business practices. (sarcasm) Lol. 😂 BUT, I am growing through these challenges because I am persevering.

Most importantly, I need to be mindful through this experience. The key is for me to be aware if emotionally, physically and mentally the job starts depleting me instead of motivating me. I need to be in tuned with my soul to know if it’s no longer rewarding and then take steps to walk away. I need to use my intuition to sense when I’ve learned all I am meant to learn from this experience.

I have six months left in this role. I don’t know what will happen. I do know I can’t push myself like this long term but I am hoping that within the next six months with the help of the Execs, the tide will turn or perhaps my focus will be changed by leadership. I am hoping it continues to be rewarding but I am open to all other opportunities and experiences just in case it’s not.

Wrapping back to my point, I was meant to learn through this experience. I was meant to learn I can operate at this level. I meant to know that I was underestimated and held back in the past. I don’t think I was held back intentional it was just the culture of the organization I used to work in.   I was meant to understand I can sit at a table with the highest level of executives and hold my own. I was meant to prove this to myself. I was meant to persevere. So, hell yes! You can still be in the flow with the Universe even though you are stuggling. You just have to make sure you are struggling for the right reasons. If you are growing, expanding and living outside of your comfort zone, then you are definitely doing what was meant for you!

Lastly, I went to a STEM training class late in the day. I was going to skip it but I went so I could just sit back and absorb information instead of talk 😂 As I walked in the door, I bumped into a stakeholder who owes me something that is on my CRITICAL PATH! I was planning to reach out to him later in the week if I didn’t hear from him. We sat together and talked for a few minutes before class began. We came up with plan on how we can move forward. We scheduled a meeting with our “Chief” while we were there. We both committed to possibly launching two grant challenges at the same time running Oct to May. Yep, two at the same time.(There’s reason why it has to be two). It’s really complicated BUT it is doable! He’s the science and mentorship guy for academia while I am administration and project management. We have a few more meetings set up to work things out but we are briefing this to my Sponsor and Execs on Aug 20th.  Wish me luck 😂😂

So, do you think I was in the flow today? I went to a meeting I was going to skip and ended up getting the missing piece to the puzzle that has been keeping me up at night for a week 😂 Yep, I was in the flow for sure this afternoon 🙌

Gandhi

Showing Up Anyway

Glenn Doyle Melton

One of my biggest issues about Facebook and Instagram is that everything on Social Media is an illusion. It’s all smoke and mirrors. You only see what the person posting wants you to see. For example, I had a conversation with a coworker a while ago. From what she told me in person, there is a A LOT of drama in her life and her family life is challenging. However, on Facebook, it’s all big smiles, family photos, beautiful pictures of happy times and long posts about her wonderful life and vacations. Her Social Media image does not match what I saw in person. My coworker isn’t the only person guilty of this. Almost everyone does it on Social Media. I bought into at first too. Folks take 35 crappy selfies and only post the one that turned out good. They use filters on their sunset photos so it looks extra beautiful and make sure you only see what’s good. Social Media robbed us of authenticity and reality.

I disengaged from a Facebook a few months ago. I have no regrets. I am still on it because my family is on it and they post photos of the kids there. I also find out where my nieces softball games are so I can go watch. I enjoy that. I don’t post. As I scroll through posts, I can’t help but wondering how did we all get conditioned to think we always have to be positive, have a beautiful back yard or live in a big home? Why is it everyone thinks your life is wonderful if you are eating dinner with 20 other people or checking into four bars every night? When did we give up our right to have a messy complicated life? Why can’t we ever be pissy, have a bad day, be sad, admit our holidays sucked and God forbid post a bad picture of ourselves on Facebook?

This post isn’t a rant about Social Media. It is about a complete lack of authencity. No one wants to own the messy parts of themselves that aren’t camera ready. No one wants to admit they have depressing thoughts sometimes. No one wants you to see their darkness anymore. I am writing this post because the truth is I am messy and complicated lately. My thoughts are sad and depressing. I am worried and scared. My tummy is bloated. I am in pain and I just am fucking over it. Why should I continue to lie and pretend I am positive and happy when I am not. I am just not…

Don’t get me wrong… There are positive things in my life. I like where I live. I am enjoying my job. My career is going great. My family loves me. Yesterday I got to watch my great niece pitch over 50mph at FastPitch Summer Nationals via North Myrtle Beach Park’s field webcam. Tomorrow is her first elimination game. Her team, Philadelphia Spirit (Fast Pitch Softball), is in seed one in her division. They are undefeated in the tournament so far. I hope I can catch part of the game. My nephew is a good dad and good coach. That makes me proud and happy because I’ve been keeping him straight since I was 10 years old. We fight like brother and sister BUT he listens to me. I get through to him and I know I played a role in making him the man he is today. That makes me happy and proud especially when I see him with his kids.

I have an appt with my Gastro doc tomorrow morning. I am hoping for answers but I don’t expect to get any tomorrow since I will need a scope and probably a cat scan. The pain is all around the left breast which is where the stomach but it is also where the heart is. My BP and Heart Rate have been stable and beautiful. Hopefully that means my heart is not the problem. Either way, I need to figure out what this is because it’s wearing me out.

I just decided it was time to be honest and show authenticity on this blog. Sometimes life sucks. These health issues are taking a toll on my stamina and wearing me down. That is nothing but the truth. Why should I act strong when I am not? Why shouldn’t I allow you to see me? Perhaps I allow folks to see me this raw, others will feel liberated and will drop their masks too. Perhaps someone reading this will see I am sad and know it is ok for them to be sad too. Maybe someone will see it’s ok to be messy and afraid. Show up anyway… Show up in life anyway… The below poem is messy and afraid Linda writing authentically about how she’s been feeling lately. Please open your mind and heart a little before reading this. Allow your compassion and empathy to feel what I am feeling rather than judging me. Then you will understand authentically how I feel.

In gratitude,
Linda

Showing Up, Anyway
By: Linda A Long

I can pretend…For your benefit…That I am well
That my…Mind, body and spirit…Are harmoniously unified
I can pretend…That I am…Determined to…Remain strong and optimistic
That I have…Control of my emotions
That I am…Filled with…Inspiration to rise up…And fight, fight
The adversary within…My own body
Undermining every…Step forward…Pulling me back…After every victory…Weighing me down
With worry, anxiety…And ceaseless attacks…On my body
Weakening my mind…And slowly…Breaking my spirit
I only fought…This long…Because I didn’t…Want you to…Think I was weak
I only fought…This long…Because I believed…I could still…Win
I believed…I could still…Live a full life
I thought…I would still have love
And be able to…Share my heart…With another
Joyfully living my life…In a state of gratitude
But…It is very hard
To be grateful…While feeling…Constantly defeated…By a body that…Attacks itself
It is hard…To be optimistic…When every day…Presents a new physical challenge
With little answers…And even less support
Everyone wants to hear…“I’m great”
No one wants…To know the truth
Or even really…Look in my eyes to see my truth
No one wants to…Stop looking at…Their phone for five minutes to have a simple Conversation
And actually mean it…When they ask…“How are you?”
I’ll just go on…Pretending…“I’m great”
And you all…Just go on…Doing whatever makes you feel good
With your heads…Buried in your phones…Too preoccupied for human compassion
Being too wrapped up…In your own life…To really care…About mine
I go on pretending…To make it easier…For everyone…Who says…“I am here for you”
But really…Just want to be here…When I am great…And not when
Life is heavy and complicated…
I’ll pretend…You care…While you feel…Good about yourself
I know the truth….But
I will keep pretending…For your benefit
If it helps you…Get through the day
Broadcasting fake friendship…On Facebook…While phone calls and texts…Go unanswered
I know who…I can really count on…I know who…Really cares about me
But…I will pretend…For your benefit
Everything is fine…Even while I silently…Want to let go
Because I am tired…
From fighting so hard…To be well…It is exhausting me
Fighting alone…Is disheartening
I am just not sure…I know my reason…Anymore
I don’t know my…Reason to fight…For this life…Anymore
And I am not sure…What difference…It makes
I am sorry…If my true thoughts
Scare you or hurt you…
It just scares me… That I don’t know what my reason…To live is anymore
The next time…You ask…“How are you?”
I’ll smile and say…“I’m great!”
Simply because…It’s what you want to hear
Not because…It’s how I feel
Know this…When I ask you…“How are you?”
I want to hear…The full truth…Even if it is…Messy, complicated and sad
Let me hear your heartache…Let me share your burden…Let me lighten your heart
I want you to know… You are loved…And have a reason… To live
Even if I can’t…Find my own reason anymore

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – Learning To Be Kind To Myself

Self Care Sunday

Self Care Sunday – IG @highestgoodcoach

This Self Care Sunday is about me working on accepting that I am human. I make mistakes and it’s ok. I have a tendency to expect perfection from myself. When I do slip up, I am often very hard on myself. I am working on being kinder to myself. So here’s what happened….

I went to Philly for the weekend. My great niece graduated grade school. I went to Philly to see family and go to her party. I was feeling a bit off most of Saturday. I had a lingering headache in between my eyes which eventually passed as the day went on. Since there is a rife in family I was also uneasy about going to the party because my niece’s parents are part of the problem. I felt a kid shouldn’t be punished because of the actions of the parents so I went to the party. I also went because my Mom wanted me to go with her and I needed to to be a good daughter to my Mom this weekend. After all, she’s been my only parent since I was seven.

The party ended up being much more enjoyable than I expected. I made plans to bring three of my five great nieces to my house for a weekend in August. They all play tournament softball. They work hard and play ball EVERY weekend all summer long. My niece going into high school pitches over 50mph and is already being scouted by colleges. They are going to Nationals in Myrtle Beach in July. After they get back from Nationals, my nephew is letting them take a long weekend off from ball to come to my house for beach time the first weekend in August. It’s about teaching them to create balance in life. I live on the beach with a pool. We can also walk down the boardwalk and catch fireworks on Saturday night. When the girls are with me, they are just kids at the beach for a weekend. I am hoping to teach them having fun and balance in life is as important as working hard while playing ball.

Anyway, back to the story of how I screwed up… My Mother lives on hill. Normally when I am staying with her for a weekend, she lets her neighbors know. Then they leave me a spot out front of her house so she doesn’t have to walk up the hill to my car. When got home around 11pm last night. All the spots were filled and I had to park at the top of hill. When we went out this morning for breakfast, she asked me to back the car down to her house so she didn’t have to walk up with her cane. This is when I screwed up😂 I am a VERY careful driver but for some reason while I was backing up, I lost my bearings. I backed into a parked car because I didn’t see it in my blind spot. It wasn’t a lot of damage but a good dent and some paint was scraped. It was my Mom’s neighbor’s daughter’s car. After I parked, I went and knocked on their door. Told them I would pay cash for the repairs and take care of everything. Then the daughter said, “Sorry, we know to leave your spot open when you come to see your Mom. My boyfriend parked in it and I forgot to tell him to move.” I thanked her but made it clear it was my fault not hers. The parking issue is just another issue why I can’t wait for my mom to move especially now that she uses a cane and can’t walk up the hill.

My Mom’s neighbors were fine. Very understanding and accommodating. They know I am going to pay for repairs. They weren’t even upset. They actually felt bad they didn’t leave the spot open. It was me who couldn’t let it go. I was beating myself up trying to figure out how it happened. I kept telling myself I should have just went around the block. Until my Mom looked at me and said, “would you STOP”. Everything is ok. There wasn’t much damage and you are taking care of it.”

As I drove home, I was fairly annoyed with myself. I was trying to figure out why I couldn’t let it go.Why was I punishing myself for making a mistake. Well, it’s gonna be close to a $500 mistake. Ouch! I’ve only had this new car for 10 months and it already has been banged up three times. That makes me a little worried. The interesting thing is if I wouldn’t have been rear-ended three weeks ago, I would not have known how to handle the situation without cops or insurance getting involved. So when I put my car into the shop on Tuesday to get the body work done from that accident, they can also touch up my paint from this morning’s boo-boo😂

When I got home, I went for a four mile walk on the boardwalk. I had enough sun for today so I am now sitting on my balcony writing this blog. I am also working on accepting I am human and accidents happen. It’s interesting that I am often kinder and more understanding with others than I am to myself. That’s is an opportunity for growth for me. It’s something I will be working on with my own Holistic Wellness Coach and fellow IIN Alumni, Stephanie at www.findyourbrave.co. Stephanie has become a close friend, accountability partner to me and she is a great Coach!

On a side note, I asked my Mom to do the DNA Ancestry test and she said, “Nope! Grandmom was off the boat from Ireland; she had a Brogue. PopPop’s parents were off the boat from Ireland and Germany. I know what I am. Your Dad was the mutt; not me!”😂😂😂 I also did some research. 23andMe considers Ireland to under England. That’s why mine came up mostly British. My Mom and I went through all of my sister’s photos from out west. I found out she went out west a few times to visit a cousin who was in the Air Force and stationed in Montana. She went to South Dakota, Montana and Iowa. She took the train coast to coast. I think I would like to retrace some of her steps in my trip next year but I am not sure about the train coast to coast, maybe only one direction 🙂

Are you a perfectionist? Do you beat yourself up when you screw up? Do you know how to be kind to yourself?

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care

Self Care Sunday – April 29, 2018

Midnight Red - C.M. Cooper

Midnight Red – C.M. Cooper

I am pusher. I push forward. I work sick. I don’t use a lot of vacation or sick time. I am a giver and a care taker. I take care of others. I’ve made a habit of showing up for others before showing up for myself. Quite frankly, I put loving others ahead of loving myself.

A foot injury a few weeks back triggered back problems and an autoimmune flare up. Then my best friend died at the same time. I am feeling the affects emotionally, physically and spiritually of the collective stress.

My foot and back and elbow tendinitis are healing. They are slowly improving. I was able to walk two miles yesterday and today with only a small amount of discomfort. Physical Therapy has been helpful.

I have Celiac Disease, an Autoimmune Disease. Celiac Disease destroys the digestive system and can lead to stomach Cancer. By the time I was diagnosed in my 40s, there was already substantial damage to my stomach, liver and gut. My Gallbladder was already removed in 1997. At the time I was diagnosed in 2011, I had Gastritis and Liver Damage. I was in the hospital for a week. I actually could not eat solid food for ten days. I immediately stopped drinking alcohol and changed to Gluten Free diet. I have seen substantial improvements in my health and in my gut. My Liver is completely healed. There is no sign of any Liver damage in any of my current blood work. However, my stomach will never be completely healed. I have what they call “chronic autoimmune gastritis”. My stomach will always be super sensitive and predisposed to gastritis flare ups when I get sick or stressed. It’s just a part of my life.

At this time, a gastritis flare up is my biggest challenge and it’s taking some time to get it settled down. I know for a fact I ate Gluten by accident last week. I also was drinking a lot of diet soda and taking fish oil for the inflammation in my foot. In retrospect, my tummy held out pretty good but this week it hit the brakes pretty hard on me. I am really tired, bloated, nauseous and in fair amount of belly pain. I also have TMJ which is stress related. I suspect grief, stress, worry, poor food choices and not taking care of myself properly caught up to me.

I’ve been praying and reflecting on how I got this far into a flare up and depression. Obviously, I am grieving for the loss of my best friend and the last few weeks have been very stressful. But, this is more about me not loving myself enough to take care of myself properly. Almost as if I was thinking that my broken body was not worthy of love; not by me or anyone else. I actually haven’t been dating the last few years because I haven’t wanted to explain to men all of my health issues. I haven’t wanted to explain that sometimes it flares up and I am tired. I can’t do what other folks can do. I didn’t want anyone to see it; not my friends, family or any man who may care about me. I’ve been asked on dates, I refused. I supposed it’s why I’ve always been attracted to “safe” men who I could love at distance. Now, don’t get me wrong. I do truly love Blue Love. I truly love him and I would feel safe letting him in and allowing him to see the real me, all of me – that’s if he was available to me. But, this is deeper than just having a man love me and my body. This is about ME loving and honoring MY body. This is about me being a friend to myself and my body.

Deep stuff, right? Well, you can’t heal something you refuse to see. So, I decided to bring it from the darkness to the light to be healed. As this time of my life, self care is about honoring where I am today and surrendering to what my mind, body and spirit needs to return to holistic wellness. I affirm I deserve to be loved. I affirm my body deserved to be loved and cared for. I will give myself the space I need to heal the right way this time.

As far as calming the gastritis down, I was going to do a Whole 30 diet to help settle my tummy down but I remembered Whole 30 is compromised mostly of meat and vegetables. Neither are really great for settling down Gastritis. Instead I am going to focus on bland easy to digest foods in smaller quantities for few weeks.

The bigger issue I have is work. I decided I need to go into work and talk to my new boss. I need to explain I am enjoying the job and don’t want to lose or walk away from the opportunity but I need to give myself some space to heal. I know my employer believes in reasonable accommodations so I am going to ask to work a reduced schedule for the month of May(maybe half days or three days a week) with no travel. I am hoping I’ve built up enough creditability that they will work with me. Also, my doctor told me she will write a note to cover whatever I need when I see her on Wednesday night. My boss and I can reassess my status at the end of the month. Hopefully, I am back to 100% by June and things work out. If they don’t, I’ve made my peace with that too. I’ve let go of attachment to any outcomes. My focus needs to be doing what’s best for my body and my life first. Even if this job doesn’t work out, I have a good job to return to. I have faith everything will work out for my highest good.

Self care for me today is about acceptance of my limitations. It’s also about bringing the dark parts of my soul to the light for healing and speaking my truth with authenticity by asking for what I need. Lastly, it’s about letting go and trusting that God will provide for me. I affirm – Everything always works out for my highest good.

I did buy myself a little happy this week. I’ve been wanting a comfy chair to rest in, watching TV in and for nights I have trouble sleeping. So, I ordered a leather recliner. It will be delivered in two weeks. It will look great in my condo which is decorated in red, brown (Mahogany) and off white. The photo is below.

What does self care look like for you today? What have you done recently to take care of yourself?

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Art Credit: Midnight Red by C.M. Cooper

Lane Tucker Leather Recliner

Prayer For Healing

Svethania Novikova Art

Prayer For Healing
By: Linda A. Long

As I look
Into the future
I find it
Hard to see
A path forward
Everything changed
In my life
This week
Tension
Stress
Anxiety
Built up
My body broke down

How do I
Care for myself
And give myself
Time to
Grieve and mend
How do I
Give myself space
To find my
New life
Without being
Under pressure
How do I
Remove chronic stress
From my body
So I finally can heal
And transform
My life

I don’t know
Answers to the
Questions yet
I just know
That God
Is calling me
To reflect and change
God
Is calling me
To trust my
Intuition and let go
God
Is calling me
To trust him
God
Angel and Guides
I ask for
Your divine
Inspiration and guidance
As I stand
At the fork
In the road
In my life
I ask for
Your love
And blessings
So that I
May heal
Body, mind and spirit
And transform
Into the
Highest reflection
Of your grace
And love
I am worthy
Of healing
Of Love
(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

NOTE:

It’s all in a blur. My whole life is in a blur right now. I can’t see the future. I said these words to someone recently. He responded by saying, “Even in a snow storm, you have to be able to see. Try to see a path forward; try to put it into words. Write it out!” This is me writing it out. I am posting it on my blog to hold myself accountable more or less. And also to show others, everyone hurts… everyone struggles. I freely admit… I have no answers at this time of my life. I have no answers. But I do know God is calling me to reflect a bit before moving forward.

High levels of stress, anxiety and tension have been a part of my life for a while now. My best friend had Cancer for five years and died April 19th. I had tension in relationships. I was in school full time while working full time and I switched jobs three months ago.

I guess I didn’t realize that my body was having a physical response to the chronic stress I’ve been under every day for the last couple of years. Being strong, soldiering on took a toll on me and my body. I see now I held a lot of tension in my body. I held a lot of anxiety in my soul. Now, right now I have a foot injury which lead to back problem which is taking a long time to heal, I believe because of stress and muscle tension. I started physical therapy for it yesterday. I have a flare up of tendinitis in my left elbow. I’ve had migraines and digestive issues. Meanwhile, my blood work looks beautiful; it’s the best it’s been in years. Thank God! This tells me that stress, anxiety and tension as well as Menopause are taking a physical toll on my body.

I finished my school work today. As of today, I’m officially done my Integrative Nutrition Health Coach Training. I graduate on May 15th! I will take the Certified Holsitic Health Coach test later in summer. As stressful as school has been, it’s also been good for me. But I am glad I am done. As far as building a coaching business goes, it’s officially on hold indefinitely. I can’t even think about that right now.

After five years of watching and supporting my best friend battle Cancer, I am now left with grief. This summer I need to leave some space for grief as well as take time to figure out what life looks like without her. My body is breaking down from stress and I feel like like I need to slow down for self care and slow down for my body to heal.

This brings me to my new job…let me take a big sigh of right here…I proved to myself I can do the job. I proved to them I can do the job. But, the whole future of the Program rides on my back. It rides on my action. It rides on me. I have to drive it. The next few months will require me to travel, build and drive the program. It will be pressure. Pressure that I am just not sure I up to right now.

I keep hearing in my head, “just because you are capable, doesn’t mean you should be doing it right now!” I keep feeling like I need to pull back to heal. I feel like I have been pushing too hard for too long and trying to do too much for too long. It caught up to me… I guess what I am saying is… I am not sure I am physically up to this job given how my life changed and how my body is reacting to the stress.

The way I see it is, I have a decision to make. I have to decide I want to go in and talk to my new boss and explain all of this or if it would be best for me to go back to my home organization. I know my old group is struggling and could use my help. I would be completely honest with my old boss because of our history. It may be easier to manage this emotional time of healing while working in my old organization instead of being under the stress of trying to lead a new high profile Program. I need to reflect on this the new week or so…

I haven’t been able to get “Sound Of Silence” by Simon and Garfunkel out of my head.

Art Credit: Svethania Novikova – www.fineartamerica.com