Self Care Sunday ~ Love and Good Deeds

love and good deeds

I heard the above Bible Verse the other day.  While it’s intended to encourage us to love others and spur us to do good deeds for others, I thought I would take a moment to reflect on how we can apply “love and good deeds” to self care.

I believe holistic wellness is a balance between giving to others and tending to our own needs. To give to others without limits is dangerous and can even be self destructive. It took me a long time to learn this lesson and learn to set healthy boundaries.  My self care message today is simple. While it’s important to love others and do good in the world, it’s equally important to take care of yourself and look after your own needs too.

I encourage you to take a moment and LOVE yourself today. Do something good for you today. Do something that makes you happy. Do something you enjoy. Take care of yourself today. What good deed can you do for yourself today? Perhaps it’s something as simple as resting today or going for a walk in nature. Maybe it’s as complicated as speaking your truth and finally facing the truth about a situation in your life.  It’s healthy to live in truth and authenticity. How can you extend good deeds toward your self care during this hectic time of year to ensure you are well enough to give to others in the future?

As for myself, I came home from my Thanksgiving trip to Philly with a head cold🤒 I am tired and congested. I have a small fever and a headache🤧I need to rest, and stay warm today. Since I woke up and found no food in the house, I had groceries delivered by the local ACME. That was self care today.  I placed my order near 9:00am and by 11:15am, I had three bean sweet potato chili made with grass fed beef in the crock pot 😀I added sweet potato and a tablespoon of organic Cacao Powder to bump up the vitamins and minerals in it. It’s weird I am craving chili instead of soup while sick. I will be staying in warm while under a blanket with slippers, a cup of tea and my remote in hand binge watching something on Netflix or Amazon until I feel better. Now, if I could just figure out how to get a large Dunkin Donuts Coffee with Gingerbread S’mores and cream delivered, I would be all set 🤣

Thankfully I am taking virtual classes for my Grant Management certificate from home Monday and Tuesday this coming week and  again Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday of next week too. I can’t stay warm and not worry about getting dressed for work for a couple of extra days  each week while still “working”.

A brief update on work:
The truth is this job scares me a bit…🤣 It’s complicated. It’s high profile. It’s challenging. It’s demanding that I perform a different level than ever before.  Honestly, I get overwhelmed when I think about it too much.  I try to disconnect from it when I start to get overwhelmed. Seriously, I am starting two new grants program from zero…zero… I was told recently there may be a third program added later this year… I get a little freaked out about how big this job is sometimes… Folks say “take things one day at time”. While that is somewhat true, I need to look a year down the road so I can mitigate risks early. So it’s a balance between working on tactical tasks today while stepping back to strategize for the future.

Some of my stress in this job is that it is more responsibility and accountability than I’ve ever had in my entire career. It scares me a bit. Leadership offered me a professional executive coach. However, I declined for right now because the guys is on staff to my director. How do I know he won’t snitch? 🤣 I would not feel comfortable being completely honest with him so what’s the point of meeting with him??? I feel like I do need someone to coach me through this transition to this new level, I just haven’t found the right person to help me so I am working through this on my own. I am not sure Blue Love would have the time since he transitioned to a new job recently too. For now, I am “coaching” myself. I am grateful for the growth opportunity.

gratitude
How are you loving yourself? What good deeds have you done for yourself recently?  Can you use gratitude to attractive your deepest desire?

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

Thanks & Giving ~ Blue Love Poetry

730E2B9C-25E9-4C64-AEFC-52B7D7C65BD7_1_105_c

Thanks and Giving ~ Blue Love Poetry
Waiting
For him
At the door
She
Wraps her
Arms around him
And
Starts undressing
Him
Just as he enters
The room
Every part of her
Wants him
Every part of her
Desires him
No longer
Holding back
She places herself
In his hands
And bows down
In front of him
As she looks
Up at him
She takes him
In her mouth
He tastes just
As she imagined
Soft, sweet, delicious
Finally
She gives him
Proper thanks
Proper thanks
For the inspiration
He’s given her
Proper thanks
Inspiring her
To create
On her knees
She thanks
Him properly
And
Gives her body
To him
In complete
Surrender
In complete
Submission
To the
Desire
That lives
In her soul
And
Now breathes
Through her words
She says
A lustful
Thank you
With deep
Appreciation
For the inspiration
She gives herself
To him
And
Thanks him
For giving her
Inspiration
Thanks and giving
(C) 2013 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

NOTE Celebrating Thanksgiving with a Sex Poem.  I was thinking about how I would like to thank Blue Love. He’s a fun playmate and I look forward to seeing his beautiful blue eyes 🥰💙🔥 I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE this song. I especially LOVE Nancy Wilson’s version. It’s been the soundtrack in my head all day 💙

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

Self Care Sunday ~ No Ordinary Life

479AF35C-5697-4E76-8BB8-2FD52B7A5F5A_1_201_a

If I am home on the weekends at 10am, I like to watch AM Joy on MSNBC. Joy Reid does a segment where she asks her guests, “Who won the week and why?” Her guests pick their winners from the news events in the previous week. So my question to you today is how did you WIN your week? What went right? What worked out? Did you make progress? Was there an energetic shift in your life? Can you take a moment to appreciate what’s good in your life? This is how I won the week.

A “win” for the entire Universe this week is that Mercury Retrograde is finally over🤣 Mercury went direct on November 20th. I have to be honest. I am not really affected by Mercury Retrograde shenanigans too much anymore but the funniest story I heard this week was a Kansas City news anchor accidentally sent his sick call email to the entire broadcasting company across the USA. His coworkers across the country started the #PrayersforNick viral hashtag on Twitter and a shrine at his desk🤣

Screen Shot 2019-11-23 at 2.12.46 PM

While this is funny, some screw ups may not be as comical. I would encourage folks to just automatically try to be more present every day – slow your roll down… Seriously, slow everything down and learn to be more present. Perhaps be more cautious with communications, contracts and commitments when you hear Mercury is spinning backwards😉Check the below Mercury Retrograde Bingo Card to see if you got any of them this time around.
7119EB8B-E1FC-4B07-BD8A-AEA5E8F811E8_1_201_a

My professional “win” of the week was I was able to meet an important first regulatory milestone for my program this week. I submitted our first two “notices” to the Federal Register on Thursday. They should be live by Tuesday or Wednesday. It’s important because it starts a 9 month clock of regulatory actions that have to be done before we can announce a solicitation or call for proposals to the public. This one action won’t close for 60 days so while I wait I am writing Standard Operating Procedures, establishing policy directives, working through Privacy Requirements and figuring out Merit Criteria standards. Plenty of work to do but now it’s a pace that is manageable and folks realize that I was right all along 🤣 So, that’s helpful too 😜
E3071829-CC38-47D6-A092-56A95D08A06C_1_201_a

My other professional “win” of the week is that I realized I am not attached to this current job. I like the job. I am thankful for the learning opportunity. I do feel like I am in the right place. It’s clear they need someone strong and “by the book” like me to move this forward. However, I am not attached like I’ve been to jobs, people and organizations in the past. My loyalty is to myself and my growth. If the signs point me in a new direction, I will go wherever the Universe leads me. I trust the Universe and know everything is always looking out for my highest good. There is freedom in non-attachment. Attachment keeps us stuck in unhealthy situations. Attachments holds us back from choosing growth. I am glad I am not attached this time around. What are you attached to? Can you let go a bit?
Screen Shot 2019-11-23 at 2.51.32 PM

My Thanksgiving “win” this week is that I got assigned desserts to bring for dinner. Since I am traveling that day, packing pies and cakes is so much easier than packing hot food. The only requirement I was given was to be sure I bring a Big Plain Cheesecake with Cherry Pie Filling and Whipped Cream on the side along with any other desserts/pies I want to bring.  I LOVE cheesecake with Cherries and whipped cream too:-) I am thinking cookies, Apple Pie, Pumkin pie and maybe a Pecan Pie.  I can’t eat any of those but I will enjoy Cheesecake and I may pick myself up something else with chocolate ☺️🤣

Speaking of sweets — My normal morning Cup of Joe is Dunkin’ Donuts Dark Roast with Cream (No  Sugar).  I had a late afternoon treat today. It was DD Dark Roast with Gingerbread S’mores and cream.  WOW!  It tasted like a donut. I am sure it had a million grams of sugar but it sure was delicious 🙂 #coffeelover

coffee

My personal “win” this week is that I am learning to be less judgmental of myself. I have a tendency to be very hard on myself. I am working on that. I am also learning to accept myself as I am today. Celebrate my growth. Appreciate the woman I’ve grown into and leave the past in the past. Maya Angelou said, “when you know better, do better.” I am embracing that teaching and acknowledging that I know better now. Therefore, I can do better than I did in the past. Does this resonant with you as well?

My Christmas “win” of the week is that I finished about 75% of my Christmas shopping on Friday. I am usually a last minute shopper so this is a big deal for me. I am putting my little four foot free up this Sunday too. Yep, I am winning Christmas this year. I am gonna be ready for Santa early this year 🤣

santa-judging-christmas-meme-1543507756

My only issue this week is my jaw has been super tight and the arthritis in my TMJ has been painful. I’m trying to be more aware of when I clench my jaw. Whenever my TMJ acts up like this, my Go-To meal is Gluten Free Mac & Cheese with BBQ Pulled Pork👍It’s delicious & easy on the jaw – nothing crunchy or chewy 😊

How did you win your week? How are you taking care of yourself?

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved
Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

Linda ~ Blue Love Poetry

Blue Nude ArtLinda ~ Blue Love Poetry
When you
Listen to
Your heart
Does your
Soul call
My name
In a low hush
Just loud
Enough that
You can’t
Ignore it
Or pretend
You didn’t
Hear it
Does my
Name stay
With you
As a
Lingering thought
Pulling you back
Into my
My deep brown eyes
That always
Reflect love
Back you
Reflecting back to you
A spiritual love
A love that
Reminds you
My soul
Is yours and
It is as
True blue
As the crystal
Of your eyes
Does my
Name rest
On your chest
At night
As you
Try to fall asleep
Filling your heart
With lust
And your body
With passion
Does every inhalation
Leave you
Restless and conflicted
As you
Roll over
Knowing
I am not
Next to you
Does my
Name stay
On the tip
Of your tongue
As if
Saying it
Whispering it
Brings you
Peace
And grounds
Your spirit
In love
Keeping you
Connected
To the true
Wisdom in
Your soul
And igniting
The fire
Of awakening in
The depth
Of your being
Does my
Name root you
In love, affection
And adoration
When you
Say it
Do you feel
Nourished and supported
As woman’s love
Should make
A man feel
When given
Freely and joyously
Even on his
Most challenging days
A woman’s love
Should break through
The walls
A man builds
Around his heart
When he
Deprives himself
True loving fulfilment
When a man
Is truly
Loved by woman
Her name
Becomes his mantra
He says it
As a prayer
When he needs peace
He whispers
It as a meditation
When he needs
Her energy
To be with him
He hears it
In his soul
No matter
Where he is
When you
Listen to your
Heart
Does your
Soul hear
My name
Linda
And does it
Bring you
Peace
Does my name
Bring you peace
Linda
(C) 2016 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

NOTE Blue Love frame of mind💙🥰🔥I want to see what he sees when he looks at the world ☺️😍

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

Self Care Sunday ~ Take What You Need

5EF5F1D4-E9D0-4A4C-9455-6EF5E26A1E81_1_201_a

Sometimes in life we are meant to do hard stuff. Sometimes we don’t know why we are called or chosen for hard tasks. Other times we sign up to do hard things because we want the challenge. Whether it’s in our personal life or in our professional life, our hardest phases are also the greatest opportunity for growth and character development. Sometimes it’s the struggle we endure that defines who we are and perhaps reveals we are stronger than we even knew.

I find myself in the middle of an extremely hard task at work. The coworker who sits next to me is an experienced advisor who helps to ground me when I need it. I said to her yesterday in a moment of frustration, “If I would have known this is what every day would be like in this job, I don’t think I would have taken it.” Considering the ethical drama that occurred and the fact that I blew up a schedule in my first 90 days because of a regulatory issue, she knew what I meant. Google https://pra.digital.gov for more information about federal regulations regarding data collection from the public. She then said something that stuck with me and I’ve been thinking about it. “Just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path. I’ve watched you learn and grow. Maybe that’s what this job is all about right now in your life. It’s a learning opportunity. Take what you need from the experience and learn to leave the rest behind.”

It is true. I have grown a lot in these 90 days. I’ve proven to myself I am capable to standing tall and strong when it counts. I’ve proven to leadership I am going to do the right thing even if it makes their messaging difficult. I’ve shown folks around me who I am and demonstrated my integrity will always come before their milestone.

While I reflect on this, I am thankful to my Mother for teaching me how to be fierce and strong. I think I learned to be a hard-ass from her. I am thankful for experiences that shaped my viewpoint and honed my strategic thinking skills. I am thankful for past managers who shaped my experiences with their examples of leadership. I am thankful for my current supervisor. He’s ethical and he’s not afraid to do the right thing even if it is unpopular. He’s also a direct communicator like myself. He kind of reminds me of Blue Love in that regards. My supervisor works in a different city than I do. We’ve only met in person once but we talk on the phone for 15 minutes just about every work day. In my first 90 days, we’ve already gone a few of rounds. We say what we have to say to each other but after we fight it out, we get into alignment and back each other up 100%. Everyone says we’re a good team. He works things downtown while I work things at the beach 🙂

Leadership approved $6K worth of training in Grant Management for me this week. My first two courses are in December. I finish my certificate in March. I am not sure where that will lead but it will set me up to be Grant Officer, which is a Contracting Officer for Grants. For now, I’m going to focus on what my coworker said. I’m gonna take what I need from the experience and learn to leave everything else behind.

I would also like to say I am grateful I have my ocean view back 🙂 The building I live in has been doing some external brickwork. The last two months they’ve had my ocean view windows blocked off for protection. They had a blue coating on them. I had to keep the blinds closed because the blue hue was giving me headaches. They took off the coating on Friday and I have my view back 🙂 The outside of the window still has some smudges. They are cleaning them next week but at least I have my view back.

32A4307E-7205-4009-AE82-2240261B9D68_1_201_a
So, tell me… Are you going through hard stuff right now? Did you recently change jobs and find it’s different than you thought it would be? Are you going through a difficult transition or change in your personal life? Remember the words of my coworker… “just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path!” Take what you need from the experience and leave the rest behind!” And if you need an example of this…think of Marie Yovanovitch…She stood up for our Nation and what is right. She showed us how to be fierce ✊I wish I was in that room for that hearing. I would have loved to have stood and participated in that standing ovation 👏👏👏
9F9FF8DE-E640-4281-8E84-C59F27F9508E_4_5005_c

This all reminds me of the U2 song Walk On from the album I love All That You Can’t Leave Behind

I know how it aches and your heart it breaks. You can only take so much. But walk on. You got to leave it behind – Walk on

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

Poetry IG: @jmstormquotes

I Shine ~ Blue Love Poetry

I Shine ~ Blue Love Poetry
Not by
The touch of your hand
I feel
The power
Of your energy
In my world
You are deeper
Than the surface
Of my skin
Penetrating to
The core
Of who I am
Who I was
Who I strive
To be
Not by
The kiss
Of your lips
Do I feel
Your warmth
Nourish my spirit
And reassure me
That I am
In the right place
At the right time
With the right person
Not by
Your manhood
Entering me
Do I feel
Your passion
Fill me
With the heat
Of your love
Do I feel the comfort
Of your affection
Somewhere between
Your heart and mine
Are the strings
That bind us together
Reflecting love
From my eyes
To yours
I touch you
Without words
Yet more profoundly
Than any other
You know
My love
Is yours to keep
If not by
The touch of my hand
Than by the
Shine of light in my eyes
When you are near me
I shine
(C) 2016 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

NOTE I shine with Blue Love 💙🥰🔥

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

If you are on Instagram check out @jmstormquotes. I just love his poetry 💙 He gets me🤣Like he says everything I need to hear or want to say 🤣I bought Volume I of “In My Head”, one of his books of poetry, through Amazon.

Screen Shot 2019-11-13 at 5.36.29 PM

Self Care Sunday – I’m weird; are you weird too?

It’s true. I am weird. I’m the round peg in a world of square holes 🤣 I like and believe in weird spiritual stuff. I tell you this as a warning. What you are about to read is going to seem weird – especially if you’ve never experienced what I experience every day. I write about weird spiritual topics to encourage people to open the minds and hearts. Signs are all around us. It’s up to us to be open enough to receive the signs and follow the flow of the Universe.

I’ve been seeing repetitive number series (11:11, 111, 222, 333, etc.) every day for a few years. It actually started New Years Eve weekend 2016 when I was driving to the Berkshire Mountains for the weekend. I had no idea what it all meant back then but I sensed it was not a coincidence; it had to be some sort of sign. When I first started seeing the repetitive number series, I google it every time is saw one. It started with 11:11 then it was 111 and 1111. I see repetitive numbers series throughout the day now. The most common repetitive number series I see is 222 which is about partnership, love, divine timing and everything working out for the highest good of all concerned. I always think of Blue Love when I see 222 💙

2222

I was driving late Friday afternoon. I looked at my dashboard and saw my trip mileage was 999, I had 333 miles of fuel remaining, the truck in front of me had 555 on the license plate and I heard on the radio “Veteran’s Day 11/11”. Four repetitive numbers in under 10 seconds. I knew it was a sign. The Universe was trying to get my attention so I pulled over and reflected for a moment. I remembered my research 999s are about cycles coming to an end, 333s are about divine guidance and 555 signify divine positive changes are happening for your highest good and 11/11 is confirmation that I am on the right path. After thinking through all of that this sign means to me that the hard cycle of learning or growth I’ve been in is just about over. Like I’ve learned the lesson and completed the cycle; time to rest before the next lesson starts. It’s also a sign that I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Screen Shot 2019-11-08 at 5.21.20 PM

The first hard cycle that is ending is the challenges the new job I started three months ago. If you’ve been reading my blog, you know this damn job has been really challenging for many reasons. It’s the hardest job I’ve ever had and it didn’t need to be. It was leadership who made it hard because they were trying to fit a schedule for a new program into a timeline they promised without knowing all of the requirements. I was getting pressure from all over including executives and managers to meet a ridiculous schedule that they made without completely understanding regulatory requirements changed in recent years. I contacted legal with my “ethics” concerns about six weeks ago. It has taken some time for things to play out. Folks have been a little standoffish with me because I “outed” them more or less. 🤣I give zero f**ks. I am not there to make friends. Taking a stand and doing the right thing was the right thing to do. Period – end of story! Things seem be stabilizing now. A GM called me this week to thank me for “pulling the threads” and making sure they knew about the regulatory missteps because I “saved” them in the long run. Yes, things are starting to settle down.  I am not sure what will happen next so I’ll just go with the flow and trust everything will work out for my highest good.

The other cycle coming to close is the one that started last year while I was watching Christine Blasey-Ford testify at the Kavanuagh hearings about sexual assault. Something about watching that hearing triggered deep pain from my past that I bottled up instead of acknowledging. All the painful memories from when I was younger returned. I remembered crying for three days straight. It was so confusing to me that in 2018 I was reliving painful memories from so long ago as if they happened yesterday. I remember I called my therapist for emergency session because I was so overwhelmed with grief. That’s what it was – it was grief. It was grief for what was taken away from me and how those events affected me and my relationships with men the rest of my life. Over the last year, I’ve worked through those issues and let myself feel the pain. It wasn’t until a month ago that I realized I’ve healed. Sitting at the hospital with my family while my brother is in congestive heart failure could have triggered me but actually I noticed I was detached. I focused on supporting my mother. Instead of feeling triggered I’ve felt nothing…. No anger.  No pain. No resentment. Nothing…I just feel free… Like I finally released the pain. Don’t confuse that with forgiveness. I do not believe we need to forgive those who harm us. This isn’t forgiveness but I have let go of the pain of remembrance. I found peace with the memories. The power has shifted. While I remain sad about how my life was affected and how my relationships with men has been impacted by those events, I no longer feel traumatized by it. I also see by sitting with my anger and grief last year and crying for three days I was able to open up and let go of the pain. I cleared space for me to show now as a stronger Linda now. Yes, a painful cycle completed recently☺️

Have you noticed a change in the last week? Do you suddenly feel lighter? Perhaps a burden was lifted or you finally made a hard decision? Have been seeing repetitive numbers? Take an opportunity to slow down and let yourself notice the shift. Below is a little recap of why personal meanings interpretations of repetitive numbers series. However, you would be best to google them for other meanings to determine what resonants with you.

When it first started, I researched each number and eventually began to trust it’s a code. Those numbers mean something. When I see or hear 11:11, 111, 1111 is about alignment. Whenever I see it, I take it was the Universe is saying “stay woke”, “your thoughts are in alignment with the Universal flow of energy” or “you are on the right path”. Over time I began to trust that 222 is my reminder that everything is working out for my highest good. It’s also a reminder for me to send energy to those I love. When I see 444, my angels and guides are nearby. I say hello, thank them for the support and ask what message they’ve come to give me. When I see 777, I recognize that as message from spirit to trust my intuition. When I see 555, it means divine changes are happening. When I see 888, I know blessings, usually financial, are on their way. When I see 333, I thank the Ascendent Masters for guiding me and protecting. It’s also my reminder to balance myself holistically. When I see 999, it means a cycle is coming to an end and it also is a code or a calling for “lightworkers”. I know this all sounds crazy but trust me. My life has changed dramatically for the better since I started acknowledging and trusting the code in the numbers.

Screen Shot 2019-11-08 at 5.18.29 PM

Today, I am remembering my friend, Karen, who passed away from Cancer in April 2018. Karen embraced my weirdness. She would sit at dinner asking me all kinds of questions trying to understand. lol 🙂 While she wasn’t into all of the spiritual stuff I enjoy, she was always willing to learn and listen. I haven’t had a friend like that since she left. All of my other friends are too normal for me to really let all of the weirdness hang out. I also wish my friends enjoyed the outdoors & hiking as much as I do. I went to Batsto Village on Sunday but didn’t want to hike the long trail alone.I am probably going to the Kripalu in the Berkshire Mountains this winter because they do a four to six mile guided hike every day if the weather is nice….Yep, I’m weird. I like weird spiritual stuff & I also like the outdoors! I’m weird, can I be weird with you? 🤣

BFEFFF25-1C73-4907-955E-49892F1658A8_1_201_a

I am sharing “Your Song” by Elton John because I’ve heard it like ten times in the last 24 hours. That feels meaningful to me. Like someone reading this needs to hear it 🥰

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

 

Breathe ~ Blue Love Poetry

Breathe ~ Blue Love Poetry
In the fresh clean air
I breathe in
Today
I find
A long exhale
I visualize it
As it floats
Out of my Mouth
With the sound
Ahhhhhhh
It travels
Across the air
To fill your lungs
And nourish you
With the love
The unconditional love
That is shared
In the bond
Of our souls
Twisted around
Each other
Until my soul
Is unrecognizable
Without the
Imprint
Of your beautiful
Blue eyes
In my heart
In the silence
Of the night
I hear you
I whisper
Into the wind
From the corner
Of your mind
And intuitively
Comfort you with love
I am here my love
Speak to me
Know I can
Hear the words
You cannot voice
Out loud
I can hear
The breathless desires
You whisper to me
As you toss
From one side
Of the bed
And turn
To the other
Side of the bed
I can hear
Your worries
As if I carried
Them in my own anxieties
I can feel
The flow of
Your energies
From your lustful desires
Brushing me
Between my breasts
As they lay firmly
Between my legs
And leave
Your imprint
Across my thighs
With the thoughts
You send me
Through intuition
I may be
Temporarily retreating
Into the silence
Of the mountains
To balance self
To learn to manage
My abilities
And to learn
How to shine
My light
As a healer
Into the lives
Of others
I may be
Further away from you
Than your heart
Would prefer
But it is in the solitude
Of the woods
I know
The love
In my heart
Is still
Blue
It’s the same color
Of your eyes
It’s in the
Clean fresh air
Of these mountains
I hear my blue heart
Quietly echo
Your name
With every beat
And release of tension
I send
My love to you
In every exhale
I place into
The wind love
That floats
Peacefully into
Your lungs
Breathe in deep
My love
Breathe in love
Breathe out fear
Breathe in
The clean fresh air
Of my love for you
I love you
My blue love
I breathe love
Into you
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

Self Care Sunday – Tell Me Your Story

whats-your-story

The Amazon Ultimate Wish List Book arrived in the mail yesterday. It reminded me of when my Mom would hand me the Sears Wish Book and ask me to circle some ideas for my list for Santa. It was always an exciting day.
sears 1974
Thinking back to when I was young, I remember I wanted to be a Lawyer. Actually, I wanted to be a lawyer for a long time. I even studied Latin in high school to prepare for Law School. My dream and plan to got to Law School got overtaken by events. High school wasn’t a happy time for me. That mostly has to do with broken trust and painful experiences that left me bruised both figuratively and literally. By my Sophomore year of college, I was living in chronic depression and attempted suicide. Shortly after that I got Mono. Mono kicked my ass. I was sick for over six weeks and I missed a lot of school. I dropped out of college just before my last year because I ran out of money. I could’t afford to pay my tuition any longer. I took a full time job as an Assistant Manager for a local bank that I had been working at while in school. Fortunately, I was always a hard worker with a strong work ethic so I was always able to support myself.

It’s funny when you look back on your life. It’s so easy to see how things shaped your experience and changed your life. I can see now that dropping out of school completely changed the path for the rest of my life and lead to me being where I am today. I can also see now that something broke in me during that time. I was heart broken. My dreams were destroyed, and at the time, I thought I would never be happy. I was depressed, had low self esteem and a dysfunctional family environment. It was easy to let go and lose track of who I was. I worked full time all day and partied all night long. I careen through one reckless drunken night and casual relationship after another while I hid the depression from everyone. The truth was I wanted to die. When I was drunk enough, I would say it. The only reason I didn’t try to kill myself again was because, by the time I was in my mid 20s, my sister was terminally ill. She needed me. After she died when I was 32, my Mother needed me. Then my brother-in-law died when I was 34 and my sister and her kids needed me. Taking care of others gave me a reason to live. I made my life about working, drinking and taking care of others. I had absolutely no sense of self for many years.

It caught up to me in a very ugly psychological breakdown. I felt the swell of emotions and pressure pushing at me for a while. I kept pulling myself back from the edge. It started because I was laid off from my job a year prior and I returned to school full time to finish my BS degree. I graduated with a grade point average of 3.98 but finding a full time job took me longer than I thought it would. I lost my apartment. My mother kept my car from being repossessed and I was working in a sub shop just to have cash in my pocket. It was devastating. I had always been independent, self-sufficient. I could always take care of myself. Finding myself that destitute especially after finally graduating from college, was devastating to me. I snapped one night while I was sleeping over friends house in 2007.

As I look back on the night of my breakdown, I can see I was in the right place when it happened. My friend’s husband is an Orthopedic Surgeon. I could hear him tell her they couldn’t take me to a hospital because the ER doctors would put me in a Psych Ward for three days. He didn’t want that to be part of my “story”. So they instead agreed to stay up with me all night and took care of me. He got me an emergency appointment with a Psychiatrist the next morning. Fortunately, I was offered a great full time job two months later. The angels must have been on my side that day because the hiring manager for a contracting company found my resume on an unemployment job bank website. I didn’t even know unemployment put my resume on their site. I was offered the job during the interview and started work four days later.

This brings me to today…I am still friends with the couple who saved my life that night back in 2007 but they moved to Florida. Florida is financially more hospitable to doctors than New Jersey. I talk with them and text with her regularly. They recently sent me photos of them in costume for their Halloween party last week just to show they are still “fun”. She still calls me “Norma Rae” because she swears I am going to change the world one day. The funny thing is — now I think she just might be right. The job I’ve been in for the last three months has certainly tested me. It’s given me an opportunity to rise up and show I am a leader. Most recently, it’s given me an opportunity to remember that there is a “Norma Rae” in me. It woke something up in me that will never be suppressed again. I still think I would have been a great lawyer and I do think that I shall change the world one day.  That’s going to be my story. Ready to ride shotgun with me?

shotgun.jpg

A quick update from last week’s Self Care Sunday post, I am still dealing the fallout from taking a stand at work and ensuring we did the right thing. It certainly will lead to some uncomfortable conversations for a few people but I give zero f**ks. I’ve only been there 90 days so I have no loyalty to any of them. I have legal and my direct supervisor on my side. Most importantly, they can’t fire me or reassign me which makes me the right person to take this stand. Yep, there’s a “Norma Rae” in me. It’s funny, I was told unofficially on Thursday that I may be getting two more workforce development grant programs to “stand-up” (because I proven I know how to do it) which would make me a Portfolio Manager. I almost laughed my ass off when I heard it and made the comment “Wow, I didn’t see that coming!” We will see how things play out.

dangerous woman.jpg

As far as my brother being in Congestive Heart Failure goes. Well, his heart went from only functioning at 25% up to 50% so they released him from the hospital. For clarity, my brother and I are not close. Our history is complicated mostly because he was a violent mean drunk when he was younger and he hurt me. Me going up to Philly the last three weekends wasn’t because I am an enlightened human being who has forgiven him. I’ve been going to up to Philly every weekend because I have a 80 year old mother who has buried one child already. I need to be there for her but I will admit being there with him has been helping me heal some of the wounds from my teenage years at the same time. No matter what happens, I will still never be in the same room or a car with him alone. It’s great to be the bigger person but I will never let my guard down around that him… NEVER! But I am glad he is out of the hospital because I was able to stay home this weekend and my mother is less stressed. I’ve done three weeks of laundry and spent $200 food shopping this afternoon because I had absolutely nothing in the house. It’s late Saturday afternoon. I have Mac & Cheese cooking in the crockpot.  I tried to find “Norma Rae” on line to watch again but can’t find the whole film.   It’s been a while since I’ve seen it.

What’s your story today?
norma rae
(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status

Self Care Sunday ~ Heart Healing

This past week presented me with two opportunities to stand in my authetic power and demonstrate my inner strength.

This week I’ve been dealing with fallout from a potential ethics issue at work. Early Thursday I received a cryptic email from an “temporary” leader stating he did not see anything wrong.  After I took a deep breathe, I attached all of my written documentation and wrote back. I requested that if they were stating we did not need to comply, I disagreed. I also asked for a memo signed by all Senior Execs in the chain “directing” me to not comply – you know – “just” in case we are audited😉😂 Yeah, I went there! I was done and was not even playing anymore. I sent that message at about 8:30am.  Shortly after I sent it, my direct boss sent a note backing me 100%.  I also reached back out to Legal and they told me they had my back too. Around 8:00pm on Thursday night I checked my email. I found a note from my Senior Exec thanking us for bringing the issue to her awareness. She asked that we follow the appropriate process and update the schedule to reflect the additional milestones and show the 12 month delay; she would start messaging it….  I guess no one wanted to sign that memo I requested 🤣 No, I didn’t think so 😂✊

Like I said before, I give zero f**ks lately and I am not even playing.  Basically, I won! I stood up for what I knew to be right and ethical. I had so much documentation backing me up and legal on my side. I wasn’t backing down. I put myself at risk by doing it since I’ve only been here 3 months but I am happy it’s resolved. Now I can just focus on lining things up the right way with zero drama. In case you all don’t know I am stubborn like that – especially when I know I am 100% right… I will dig my high heel into the ground and I will not back down.

This situation reminded me of when I walked off a job 20 years ago because the owner was verbally abusive to employees. I started keeping a file and documenting everything he did and said to people. Then one day I had enough. He said something to me and replied, “I quit! and, by the way, you will be giving me unemployment and covering my health insurance because I’ve got a file of documentation against you as proof of creating a hostile workplace!”🤣✊Well, I didn’t know that folks outside the room heard me. After I walked out, they all started calling me “Norma Rae” and saying I “rang the bell” 🤣 One of those coworkers has become a life long friend. She still calls me “Norma Rae” and reminded me of that story recently. She was proud me this time around too! I won’t back down!


Switching to this week’s personal challenges. My brother has been in the ICU Heart Failure Unit in a hospital in center city Philly all week. He’s in Congestive Heart Failure. I spent the last two days at the hospital with him, family and his lifelong friends. He informed us he signed a DNR – Do Not Resuscitate. Late Friday afternoon they drained the fluid off of his heart. We made it through it and us now waiting for pathology to come back before deciding what to do next. He’s sitting up but not moving around much. I am actually sitting in the family room writing this blog while the doctors are in with my brother and sister in law. I will drive home later this afternoon. Other family members and his friends are planning to visit & watch football with him tomorrow.

My brother and I have a complicated history. Sitting here with him and helping him is forcing me to confront some demons and past resentments from the person he used to be…He is no longer that person. I see that now. He’s a different man than he was in his younger years. Sitting with him the last couple of days I see him differently. I don’t really understand life and how things work but but I will say — sitting with him and helping him is helping me heal the broken part of my heart from so long ago. Caring for someone who hurt me so deeply is truly opening me to a new deeper meaning of unconditional love. If he doesn’t make it, I know I made things right for both of us. Maybe I needed to work through this on my own and let go of this demon from my past to allow myself to open completely to love. Maybe I had to set him and myself free from the past to find peace within myself. I still don’t know what’s going to happen with his heart but I do know,I am glad I’ve been able to share his journey.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

DMCA.com Protection Status