Self Care Sunday ~ Destiny Rarely Misses

destiny

REMEMBER Transformations are never easy…To transform into new versions of ourselves, we often have to strip away everything we know about ourselves to become someone new.

I think this is problem I’ve been having in my job. I  started this job in August 2019. Since day one it has been demanding I become a new Linda and I’ve been in full resistance — I’ve been in resistance because I didn’t know that was what I was signing up for. They didn’t tell me how complicated the project would be.  They were not honest and did not tell me 95% of the burden would be on my shoulders. I never made a conscious choice to become this “work” version of myself. It wasn’t until I was already in the job and saw the full picture that I understood who I would need to become to successfully run this project.  

My truth is…I have an Anxiety Disorder and this job has been triggering it since day one. I’m back to taking Xanax at bedtime to stop clenching my jaw. Otherwise, I’ll worry all night. I MISS having a low pressure job 不
change

Most folks would call me a Project Manager but my actual role is the Pre Award Lead for two new programs. All that means is I identify and execute the steps needed to launch the new programs successfully and then turn them over to someone else to perform regular operations and maintenance.   In one regard, the project is the perfect fit for me. I like project work because there is a beginning, middle and end.  I also like project work because it’s diversified.  I like to move around and have new experiences so project management work is actually a good fit for me. The role is also a good fit because  my brain is hard-wired for strategic planning and I enjoy working on the front end of the development cycle.

In other ways, this is the  hardest job I ever had in my entire life… The HARDEST… At 53 years old, I just wasn’t intending on signing up for the hardest job of my career 不 YOU feel me?  不 Can you understand why I was so bitter and had so much resistance to it?  Also, I walked into a fucked up situation. They were already four to six months behind schedule on my very first day in the job.  A good bit of my early efforts were spent trying to find the most expeditious path forward without breaking any laws 不 The project has been understaffed and I’ve encountered one land mine after another. My leadership doesn’t understand the work and every “expert” I’ve needed guidance from to move this forward has been new in their role, and therefore, conservative with their guidance. Yawn, I am LIKE fucking over it already 不 It’s actually become A big FAT joke between my boss and I that so many folks are new in their jobs and afraid to make the wrong decision.  So we agreed I should just start doing my own research and sending it to them asking for written concurrence.  If it’s wrong, I’ll take the hit. I KID you not. …  It won’t be wrong…I am good at research and documentation. Can you understand why I ran out of fucks to give along the way in this crazy fucked up job? Seriously – I am straight out of fucks..fucks

To help mitigate risks to the program and for the company, I am focused on staying with the program until they “handoff” packages to our parent company targeted for Autumn 2020.  I am working to accelerate that 不They know I am not interested in working daily operations.  Once they bring on the full time person for daily operations, there will be wiggle room for me to transition into a new role.  Also I am pretty sure leaving at the critical point of the schedule on a highly visible project could be the kiss of death to my career and finding other projects to work on 不 If I stay until after the key milestones, I will have greater pool of opportunities. So, here I am… It’s funny because the early part of the week was really HARD but good news on Wednesday made the rest of the week rewarding. I’m becoming the Linda I never asked to be in a role I never intended to apply for; I was recruited (selected). I didn’t apply for it…

I don’t believe in coincidences. Destiny rarely MISSES.  Perhaps destiny found me while I was busy looking for it in other places 不

Transformations

Funny story… When I stepped out on my balcony to take the below photo this afternoon, the wind blew the door shut and broke the handle I was stuck on my balcony on the seventh floor of a high rise and the front door to my apartment has a deadbolt on it. 淹he building maintenance staff wouldn’t be able to come in without taking my door off 莧fter freaking out at first, I remembered my balcony window doesn’t lock all of the way. I was able to pry it open and climb in through the window. However, now I have to figure how I am going to water my little plants on the balcony while I wait for the door to be fixed.  I will have to either climb out the window or reach all the way out and hope the water hits them 不 I think I deserve a slice of CHOCOLATE CAKE  tonight

ALERT:  CODED MESSAGE IN THIS POST balcony garden
(C) 2020 Highest Good Holistic HealthCoaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

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Self Care Sunday ~ My WHY

Screen Shot 2019-10-11 at 7.21.20 PM

I had a super crazy busy stressful intense work week. By Wednesday, I could feel it taking a toll. In the afternoon walked out into the hallway break room to get a bottle of water before a meeting. When I got back to my desk, I realized I lost my phone. Since I have an Apple Watch, I can tell when my phone is within range of my watch. When I got to the break room, I could see it was near by. So I pinged it. There was a guy I didnt know standing on the other side of room. We were both confused because we could both hear it but not see it. Then he leaned over and put his ear close to the trash can and said, OMG, its in here! You threw out your iPhone!不As I pulled it out of the trash he said, Man, I dont think I even want to know whats going on in your world today. You threw out your iPhone and didnt even know it! 不 Yep, I threw out a $600 iPhone and didnt even realize it; that is how preoccupied I was with this damn job.

i-am-wonder-woman-i-wonder-where-i-left-my-16014034
After spending a whole week working very closely with my Director to give presentations to her bosses and external stakeholders, she said to me on Thursday, Every aspect of this is hard and complicated. We just have to remember the good you are doing for the industry in the long run! It was in that moment I remembered my professional WHY”. The reason I took the job in the first place is that ten years down the road I will be able to look back at this time and say I played a role in changing the workforce in my industry. The new programs I am working to establish will develop and change workforce in my industry for the future. I am starting it. Ive said since day one, I only want to make a meaningful contribution. I want to make a difference. God gave me what I asked for but he never said it would be easy 不 He also didnt tell me I would throw away a $600 iPhone because I was so preoccupied by the damn job but he certainly gave me what I asked for. He gave me a way to make real difference not only in my organization, not just in my company but in the whole damn industry. God is good.

While the situation with the phone was funny and my coworkers were cracking up, the truth is夷t worried me that I did it. Its not the first time Ive been so preoccupied that I did something stupid since starting this job. It was a wake up call for me. I need find a new way to manage the pressure and responsibilities of this job with some self awareness. I realized by late Thursday afternoon I needed a full and complete STOP. My schedule worked out that it gave me a four day weekend. After going through my emails and tasks, guess what, everything can wait four days. I am taking a break and completely disconnecting. Friday is my errand, shopping day. I spent today, Saturday, in Philly with my Mom and family. My niece brought her pitbull over for a visit. He’s ‘s 65lbs and sitting on my lap. I was covered in dog hair when I left. I will most likely sleep in on Sunday and not sure after that. I would like to go hiking if the weather is cooperative and Monday I am hoping to have lunch with friends. If I am going to thrive in the next crazy year and maintain holistic wellness and balance, I am going to need to find chunks of time like this weekend to completely disconnect from work and focus on the other aspects of my life. My job isn’t going to love and care for my body and my soul; that’s my job.

love job

One part of me wants to surrender and go back to an easy job. That is my ego…My ego is being stripped down in this job because every day I have to swim a little harder, learn a little faster, make decisions without a lot of information and then go defend them 不I am way outside of the comfort zone and operating on level higher than I ever imagined I would be operating when I accepted this job. Thank God my brain is hardwired to be strategic and thank God I strengthened my intuition in recent years because so far, I’ve made good decisions. I also know my limit. I know when a decision is above me. I am good about building relationships and I am inclusive. I look for the right folks to include or give counsel along the way. Seriously, I talk more in this job than I ever talked in any job. It’s exhausting不

One thing is for sure…the ego and emotions have no place in making strategic decisions that will affect my career in the long term. My ego wants to protect me. It wants me to keep doing what I am good at and what is easy with no room for failure but my soul knows I am where I am meant to be – success or failure – it will be my lesson. The key is for me to practice non-attachment to how I think it will play out and just do my best and let it unfold organically. Whatever happens is for my highest good. Everything is always working out for my highest good even if it works out differently than I expected.

I also reconnected with personal WHY – GROWTH! I wanted potential for long term diversified growth opportunities in my future. I am in the right place for this now. Getting back to my WHY cleared up all the confusion and uncertainity I was having.

Whats your why

Every choice, every decision has a lesson in it. This one is teaching me patience. It’s also teaching me to TRUST to my intuition and use strategic thinking to evaluate choices instead of my ego. I can’t be reactive and emotional with this decision.

What’s You’re Why? Have you reconnected with it recently? Sit with yourself long enough to observe if your ego or emotions are driving your decisions. Can you practice non-attachment? Can you consider strategically aligning your choice with what you want in the future rather than reacting to the demands of your ego or attachments of your emotions? Seems to be working for me 阬 Ripped-paper-with-written-on-it-Whats-your-why--1024x683

I offer the below Loving Kindness Prayer for the Kurdish people in Syria and all American Armed Forces affected by the actions of POTUS. He’s golfing while massacres are occurring. He’s golfing while ISIS is being let free. He’s golfing while US forces are getting hit. This scares me. What will the retaliation be? What demon has he unleashed into the world. I hope he not only goes down but I hope every Republican supporting him and protecting him goes down with him. Money and power should never come before human life.

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Everything is always working out for my highest good

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – Reflection On Growth

Holistic Wellness quotesI enjoy writing these Self Care Sunday posts about Holistic wellness. I like exploring the balance of body, mind & spirit including personal and spiritual growth. I also enjoy writing these post because Ive been through some shit in my life. If what Ive learned and experienced is beneficial to others, than my suffering was for a higher purpose. I hope you, the reader, can reflect on how I manage my holistic wellness and look for ways to find that balance in your own life. My intention is to offer points of reflection for you. To be clear, I do not intend my posts to be advice. The ultimate goal of every Self Care Sunday post I write is to encourage you to find your own truth. My truth is not your truth. I hope to inspire you to fearlessly dive into your own soul and find your authentic truth and power. I hope to encourage you to trust their own intuition. No one knows you better than you know yourself. I dont have your answers. All the answers you need are within you. I am just here writing these posts to help shine the light towards the path of self discovery for you. Take what resonants with you from my posts; leave what doesnt.

Intuition quote

Ive had a few experiences this week that gave me an opportunity to pause to be proud of myself and my growth in recent years. First, I had a check-up with my Cardiologist. I have a congenital arrhythmia that is monitored because every once in while it goes haywire. The last time I was completely out of rhythm was 2010. I ended up at the hospital soaking wet with sweat and a heart rate circling from 150bpm down to under 40bpm all day long. I also found out then I had a Fatty Liver. I walked out of the hospital with two heart medicines, a 21 day heart monitor and an appointment with a Liver Specialist. Well, the Liver Specialist really kept things real – brutal almost He told me that unless I made some hard choices, that I would not live to be 50 years old. It took me another year to surrender but I eventually let go and made a choice to change my life.

On Monday, my Cardiologist told me Ive officially kept off 45 pounds for 7 years. I dont smoke or drink. My blood work is perfect. My liver is completely healed. (I can tolerate a glass of red wine once in while ). My Cardiac Risk Assessment went from HIGHLY likely to have a heart attack or stroke to almost NO RISK. It is now under 2%. My Cardiologist told me he cant even see my arrhythmia on my EKG anymore. Let that sink in… the arrhythmia I was born with is no longer visible on my EKG 兩伐 Its completely gone. My heart rhythm is completely normal. He congratulated me on being a rare patient whose risk has gone down instead of up as I aged into my 50s. Its all because I took control of my habits, my life and my health. I am very proud of myself 沉f you want to do your own Cardiac Risk Assessment, follow the link to American College of Cardiologist Risk Assessment Site.

ACC Cardiac Risk Tool

http://tools.acc.org/ASCVD-Risk-Estimator-Plus/#!/calculate/estimate/

The second reason I am proud of myself is that I found out last week I made the selection lists for both of the promotions I applied for earlier in the month. I already had one unofficial conversation; it looks pretty promising that I could be staying in my current organization with a promotion. I have an interesting spiritual take on this. If I get the promotion in my current organization, I will be working for the same manager I felt held me back from promotions a few years ago. Spiritually its like going back to that group and working for her again will close that Karmic loop. It will make things right spiritually between us – a growth cycle will be completed for both of us. That feels like the right choice for me. I am also really happy and proud of myself that I chose the do the 14 month temporary assignment I did last year. People doubted my intentions for doing it. People kept asking if I was sure and wondering if I was making the right choice leaving the organization for that long. I always knew in my heart it was the right choice for me AT THAT TIME. I am proud of myself for listening to my own wisdom and trusting my own intuition. That experience was very beneficial to my personal and professional growth.

As Ive grow personally and spiritually, Ive become more open to seeing things differently. Having this new awareness and clarity in life is both wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Seeing truth that is in direct contradiction to what Ive been trying to tell myself for years is stressful but is also the most transformative experience Ive ever had. Often the truth of what weve accepted and settled in our lives hurts but it is also sitting with that pain and living in that truth that gives us the ability to break paradigms in our life. It gives us the ability to become limitless in our ability to grow into better versions of ourself. When our awareness is opened and we start living in truth, our whole life changes; it has to change because the foundation of who we are internally shifted.

Ive learned the longer we hang in there and resist the signs of change in our lives, the more stressful transitions will be. We may even miss opportunities the Universe has been laying before us because we are resisting instead of surrendering to change. Ive learned its good to reflect on the past to glean wisdom and learn lessons but its not good to dwell too long on mistakes or missed opportunities. Ultimately, every experience we have contributes to making us into who we are today. Instead of being filled with regret from the past, focus that energy on creating something new today. You are always exactly where you are meant to be.

Divine Timing quote

I have had to let go of a lot in my life. Ive said a lot of goodbyes to people Ive loved. It has been on my mind a lot this week because Blue Love is transitioning to a new chapter of his life in the next month. I am extremely happy and excited for him. In my mind, I am hoping its not good-bye for us, I hope its see you down road! This is how I know Ive grown in the last two years… Instead of holding on too tight to him out of attachment, I want him to be free out of love. I hope he takes time to rest, enjoy life and find his own truth. I want this for him because I truly love him. I love him unconditionally. I want him to be the fullest expression of Gods perfect love that he was intended to be.

Blue Love Haiku #1

My wish for Blue Love is that he is safe, happy, health and, most importantly, loved. I want him to be LOVED.
Blue Love Haiku #9

If you all learn one thing from me, it is – you are always exactly where you are meant to be. Every experience you have, every choice and mistake, made you who you are today. You are a reflection of Gods love created to shine – shine like the sun. If you didnt have all of those experiences, you may not be the person you are today. If you didnt make those choices, you may not have awakened to your authentic truth. Everything happens in divine timing and every experience we have is all part of Gods plan for us to be our authentic selves. But, only if you allow it. Only if you let go and just go for the ride the Universe is offering you. Trust it will always be just fine – just fine.

I hope you choose to stand in your own power by knowing who you are and by finding what lights your soul up. Take time to honor your needs. Take time to heal and rest. Most importantly, honor your truth and enjoy the ride!

Change quotes

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Finding My Center

Quotes

The last year of my life has been about Finding my center again. It’s been about finding my most authetic self after all the superficial stuff fads away. In order to do this, I needed quiet, distance and time just move in my own rhythm. My focus has been on me…no one else. Things got hairy and a little scary at times

Meme

Friday is the last day of my first week in my new job. This job brought me back to my professional “home”! I am in a new role but surrounded by familiar faces. Theres so much to learn and re-learn. Ive been gone 14 months. Just enough time for me to be completely out of the organizational rhythm.

Just a couple of days in and I can say its the pace I really like. Its the pace I missed for the last 14 months. Theres a different pace between a strategic group and a 24 hours operations group. While the slower pace was good at first because it was a break from the grind, the slow pace is one of things that bothered me most. I am an action person. I stay more engaged when I am in a steady flow of activity. My challenge will be to balance my activity so I dont get burned out again. I need to remember to pull back and remind myself one very important question with each task, “Is this mine to worry about?” I was not always good at this in the past and took on things that really were not mine to worry about! I own that truth!

The nice thing this time around is I am focused on only one program/system area instead of being generalize and I am also not in a support role. Both were essential requirements for me to rejoin this group. It seems they found the perfect opportunity. Since its a new role, I will be involved in developing and maturing it. It is just the kind of challenge that motivates  me. I realized the other day the program I am now working on has 222 in its name. Hmm? 222 is my God Sign number; its my favorite number. Of course, that is not coincidence; its synchronicity. Its Universal Flow.
222
One of my first observations is that its nice to be around so many folks who are so dedicated and focused on working towards a shared goal. In my last role, I was on my own a lot. Its part of the reason I didnt enjoy it. I am inspired by the work ethic of some of my coworkers; it helps me rise up and reach for better in myself. I am also happy they all agreed I can stay in the same cubicle – at least for now – we will see down the road. I like where I sit! It’s quiet and out of the spotlight

So how did this happen? How did I end up working in group I thought I left? How did I end up turning down an opportunity I worked for a year to get? Well, these folks got their hooks into me two months ago and slowly reeled me in. Honestly, I seemed to bump into both of my bosses everywhere I went the last few weeks. They kept telling me it was sign Maybe it was It was annoying but it seemed to work

I was so filled with stress and anxiety about making the right choice I couldnt think clearly about it. I reached out to a friend for help in getting clarity. He asked one question. Do you enjoy the work? (I had been doing prior to making the move). After struggling to answer the question, I realized it was NO. No, I didnt enjoy the work and admitting that felt like failure to me. Seems crazy but that’s why I did not want to admit it. You know you are growing when you can see your own crazy irrational thoughts and intuitively know it’s time to ask for help! I especially love that it was Blue Love who helped me get the clarity I needed to make this important choice I am growing and I aim to surround myself with folks who are willing to reconnect with their Center and grow too

Meme

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
img_0819

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Whats My WHY

Whats My Why

As I sit in professional limbo, I know one thing is for sure…I refuse to make an ego-based or an emotional decision

The ego and emotions have no place in making a strategic decision that will affect my career in the long term. My ego would jump at a promotion as a trophy while my emotions would pull me back to my old group/job because they feel like home. The key is for me to practice non-attachment to any outcome as I explore options and let things play out a little bit longer. I just need to steady my nerves to do this Whatever is for my highest good will rise up in my soul once I detach my emotions and ego from decision making process. Everything is always working out for my highest good even if it works out differently than I expected.

Every conversation I’ve had about this just muddied the water for me even more. I was getting myself confused because I never been one to follow external guidance. I now trust my own inner guidance system more for decisions that affect my life. I was in information and emotional overload which was making the choice more complicated.

Feeling conflicted and confused, I jumped into a hot shower last night. As the hot water pounded on my tight neck & shoulder muscles, I asked myself “What’s My WHY?”

My WHY is GROWTH. Growth is my word! I want potential for long term diversified growth opportunities in my future. This decision isn’t just about what I want to do today; it’s about how I want to position myself for long term growth in the future. Getting back to my WHY cleared up all the confusion and uncertainity I was having. The choice became clear! By the end of the night, I was relaxed and felt like the heaviness lifted.

Whats your why

For now, I need to see how the ball I put into motion plays out first; they advised I they should have a decision within two weeks (if not sooner). There are variables at play and I still feel I did the right thing. I just need to wait and see how it plays out. I also have a preferred contingency plan in place. If that goes sideways too, I still have a job to go back to It’s all good! I am ok with whatever happens because I know I lived and acted in alignment with my truth and I did what is right for the program I am representing. Wherever I end up, is where I am meant to be

Every choice, every decision has a lesson in it. This one is teaching me patience. It’s also teaching me to TRUST to my intuition and use strategic thinking to evaluate choices instead of my ego. I can’t be reactive and emotional with this decision.

After all of that, I slept great last night and had a visitation dream from my deceased sister. She always comes in my dreams when I need reassurance and comfort儭

If you need to make a big decision in your life, try using strategic logic to help you make the decision. Sit with yourself long enough to observe if your ego or emotions are driving your decisions. Can you practice non-attachment? Can you consider strategically aligning your choice with what you want in the future rather than reacting to the demands of your ego or attachments of your emotions? Seems to be working for me

PS: I am feeling like a Blue Love Poem is brewing… Stop back Friday for a Blue Love note

Strategy

As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…

Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – What does your body need?

Body quotes

Oops! If you visited my blog in the last few days and noticed my Twitter feed wasnt loading its because I did a boo boo I changed my Twitter Handle to @HighestGoodLife and I forgot to change the code in my WordPress Sidebar Widget. It appears fine now but if you notice a problem, drop me a comment

Its Saturday and I had to struggle to get myself out of bed today. I feel old, slow and irritable today. Some days are like this. Ill be 52 years old next month. While I generally feel good most days lately, some days my body feels every bit of those 52 years. Today is that day and its ok. Its all ok.

I got a chiropractor adjustment last night for the first time in two months so my back is a little sore from that. He told me I was way out of alignment and my right hip was riding like two inches higher that the left. That explained the hip pain while doing yoga in recent weeks. Somehow Ive managed to walk 10,000 steps every day and close all of my Apple Watch activity Rings every day since December 27th even with a sore hip. As you get older, you get used to moving through pain. Ive also learned its worse when I am inactive for long periods of time. I force myself to move even when Im sore.

chiropractor quotes

My TMJ and the arthritis in the left side of my jaw have also been flared up in recent weeks. I mostly blame stress and anxiety for that. Thats my stress spot. I aggravated it by eating things that are crunchy/chewy. I went out to dinner with friends earlier in the week and order a delicious hangar steak. I had the left overs the next day. I havent eaten steak in a while because it can be hard to chew. I am paying for it but it was worth it. As you get older you collect more aches and pains but you cant stop moving or living. I slept late today and allowed myself to move at slower pace but I still walked 10,000 steps and closed my activity rings even with a sore hip and a sore jaw! I will confess by 5:00pm I was toast and could barely get off the sofa to make myself dinner. This Saturday has been about surrender and allowing my body rest and repair while still moving.

I did something this past week that I dont often do. I asked someone for guidance. I never really ask anyone for guidance/help because Ive learned to trust my own inner wisdom. I also dont trust a lot of folks because everyone is running their own game and doing whats best for them. Ive learned to look after myself and live by intuition. No one looks after me like I do…However, in this situation I was feeling like I was too far in the middle of a situation to see a clear path forward and I dont know the bigger picture – so many variables are in play.

Ask for help quotes

I went to bed Wednesday night with the situation heavily on my mind and I had the funniest dream. I had a dream BlueLove and I were on a roller coaster and at the top of a steep long drop. I was SCREAMING – I mean SCREAMING 蛤 I hate roller coasters. As we started going down, I started screaming and grabbed onto him I held onto him like my life depended on it He was just sitting there looking at me and smiling with that youll be fine look I woke up as soon as I had the dream. I giggled because the dream was true to life I hate roller coasters as much as he loves them and he does give me that same look when I start to freak out Anyway, I fell back to sleep but remembered the dream when I woke up. After thinking about it, I decided the dream was my intuition telling me to reach out to him for guidance because I do trust him. Hes one of the few I trust completely I really dont know how the situation is going to work out. Only time will tell. I will trust everything is always working out for my highest good.

Roller Coaster Meme

The point of relaying the above story is that sometimes self care is about having the self awareness to know when its time to ask for help or guidance. Sometimes life is that way. Sometimes we need to ask for help. Sometimes we need to rely on experts. Sometimes another can see things with the clarity we can’t because we are too vested in the outcome or maybe we don’t know the bigger picture. The key is to be open enough and self aware enough to ask. The other key is to be sure to ask someone you trust.

ACTION
The action for the week is to check in with your physical body.
儭What is your body asking of you?
儭What is your body telling you?
儭Is your body asking for rest?
儭Is your body asking for movement?
儭Is your body asking for tender, loving care?
儭Is your body telling you something is injured or perhaps needs medical attention?

Scan your body and notice all your aches and pains. Are any of them new? Have any of them intensified? Is it time to seek help or care? Can you send love to all of your aches and pains and accept yourself just the way you are?

Body quotes

WHATEVER IS FALLING AWAY IS NO LONGER FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD!

As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…

Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Happy New Year

Art Weaving Dreams – Eva Ruiz, IG: @Evita1872

Happy New Year Welcome 2019!

I had a really nice and peaceful New Years Eve. I started the day with a morning mediation class with Intention on growth, abundance and hope for the new year. I recently returned to practicing yoga after breaking my foot and I did my first challenging practicing yesterday afternoon. While I still felt some resistance and tightness as I moved and my foot was sore last night, I felt good to move my body and sweat. It reminded me why I love yoga. I watched the movie Birdbox on Netflix early last night. It was good but I am not sure it is worth all of the fuss Ive been hearing about it. I managed to stay up and at 11:50 I sat on my mediation cushion and meditated until 12:05 using the Aad Gurey Nameh mantra as my focus. I chose this mantra for my New Years Eve mediation because it opens the Heart Chakra and it offers protection and project of the Heart Chakra energies. Its healing. It was a lovely way to end 2018 and welcome 2019.

Aad Gurey Nameh

2018 brought many changes into my life – Good healthy changes. I took a leap and tried out a new job in a temporary position. It has been a great experience. Ive enjoyed every minute of it. I needed to take this leap. I needed to push myself, test myself and prove to myself that I could operate on this level. I am different now. I guess I will find some way to acceptance and probably keep looking for another opportunity to eventually leave again. I dont hate it there. The people are all very nice but the work is just not fulfilling to me and that is what causes me the most stress. I know what career fulfillment tastes like now. I dont want to go back to feeling uninspired.

Perhaps the biggest change happened to me spiritually and emotionally. Graduating from the Institute of Integrative Nutrition as an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach gave me the tools to make better holistic choices for myself. Taking those classes taught me how to take care of myself in all aspects of my life. It also taught me how to have patience with myself and acceptance that everything is always working out for my highest good. I am not working full time as a Health Coach but I have a LLC and continue offer pro bono counseling sessions to folks I know. It was totally worth the money I spent on tuition and the year of hard work. I am very thankful I was able to do it for myself. I hope to work full time as a Holistic Wellness Coach after I retire.

Apache prayer

2018 was a year of deep healing. Deep painful memories and experiences from my past came to the surface to be healed. In a sense it brought darkness to light so it could be transmuted. Ive learned to forgive myself for not being strong enough in the past to allow myself to heal. I learned its ok to talk about what happened to me. I learned it wasnt my fault. Ive learned to live with sadness and pain that comes in waves of PTSD flashbacks when I think about everything I lost and gave up because I couldnt let anyone in. Ive learned I am worthy of love and Ive learned men who truly care about me will respect me and my body. Blue Love had the opportunity to be just like other men in my life but he chose to not take advantage of me. I am thankful to him for that and I respect his integrity for making that choice. He taught me to trust. I do trust him with my well-being and trust his judgment. I am grateful hes been part of my healing and my life.

2018 was the year of growth and healing for me. It was the year I found peace within. It was the year my spiritual practices deepen. It was the year I let go of what I thought I wanted. It was the year I followed the signs wherever they went and trusted my own intuition to guide me to the right choices. 2018 was the year I learned the people who are meant to be in my life, will always be in my life. It was year I truly learned to love myself and others unconditionally. I know I will look back on 2018 and remember it was the year I found my authentic voice and finally found peace within.

I am not sure what 2019 will bring. I am eager and excited. My main focus in 2019 will be on living my most authentic life. Loving myself enough to make good choices for my life and my body. Supporting those I love but not at the expense of my own happiness. In 2019 I will help heal others. I hope to set a good example. I will work for change. I will help good to triumph over evil. I will lean into 2019 with an open heart and mind. I will keep my vibration high. I will offer the Universe the vibration of love and continue to pray for Loving Kindness.

I claim love as my vibration for 2019. I wish you all a beautiful New Years.

Manifestation

Remember to put a little love in the world with the Loving Kindness Prayer

Loving Kindness Prayer
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

Everything is always working out for my highest good

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Love Over Fear

For those who follow planetary activity, Mercury Retrograde ends on December 6th. Mercury Retrograde is usually time of miscommunications, technology snafus, missed connections and sticky contract issues. Many feel you shouldnt sign contracts or make major purchases during the Retrograde. This can also be a time that the past comes back for reflections when we are presented a choice to go back or go move forward.

I look at the past differently now that I look at it through a lens of self care and self love. When I reflect on the past these days, I can see when not taking care of myself and not loving myself enough led me to make poor choices or perhaps put me in a position to accept less than I wanted or deserved.

Relationships with men have always been a complicated and sticky area of my life. Mostly because every relationship Ive been in has been clouded by unresolved pain, grief and loss from the death of my father at the age of seven. I never really allowed myself to grieve properly for that loss for many years. My relationships were also clouded by a lack of trust that stayed with me after sex assaults by a family member when I was older which led to a fear of intimacy from constant heartbreaks and disappointments.

For a long time, I blamed the men who were in my life. I was the victim and our unsuccessful relationships were their fault and responsibility. In fairness, it is true that a few of them hurt me so deeply that they deserved the blame but as Ive healed from my past traumas I can see there were a couple of good ones. As I stand here now, I can see I pushed away the good ones because I was too damaged, at that time, to be able to accept their love and attention. I never felt worthy. Thats a powerful awareness to have about oneself. The depth of self-sabotage Ive done in my relationships is hard to look now that I am healed but its also something I can no longer turn away from or repress. I must look at that ugly truth. I must look at it to heal it.

Something has changed in me in the last year. Perhaps its finally having the courage to touch the pain of sexual assault by someone who was supposed to protect me that opened me up to healing. Maybe its finally learning how to take care of myself that brought about the new me. Maybe it was falling in love with myself that finally allowed me to let go of my past that changed me. Its been quite roller coaster of emotions for me the last year but one I feel I needed to ride. In going on this emotional ride, Ive gained some freedom and let go of burdens that really were not mine to carry.

I once again almost ran into a old flame last night in the grocery store. This time was different. I saw him looking at produce; he had his head down. I backed away and walked on by. I didnt avoid him because I hate him. I didnt avoid him because I blame him. I didnt avoid him because he hurt me. I avoided him because we just were not good for each other and there is no reason to open old wounds for either one of us. I walked on by because it was best for my well-being to maintain a distance. Theres no anger in my heart towards him but there is love in my heart now… Self Love. I loved myself enough to choose to not engage with him.

I am more concerned about my relationship with myself these days than anyone else so no one should interpret this post to mean I am looking. I am not looking. I am just saying its nice to feel unburdened and hopeful after so many years of living with repressed trauma. I am lighter, better, healthier and happier now than ever before. Looking at my past traumas and being willing to sit with the pain was an act of self love that I am grateful I finally allowed myself accept and honor. A Course In Miracles says, A Miracle is choosing LOVE over fear! I guess you can say Ive been blessed by a Miracle.

How have you loved yourself lately? Can you truly love yourself with enough openness to accept the love you deserve and are worthy of receiving? Are you willing to touch your deepest pain to feel deep true love again? Can you choose LOVE over fear and be blessed by a Miracle?

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Love over fear

Self Care Sunday – Wish I knew

Purification fire art

Ive been reflecting upon lessons about self care Ive learned along in recent years. If only I knew what I know now when I was younger perhaps I would have saved myself anxiety, worry, illness and stress.

One of the hardest lessons Ive had to learn about self care is this that my body needs more rest than Ive been willing to give it in the past. I also had to accept that my body is not able to do what it used to do or what other people’s bodies are capable of doing. I have to stop comparing my abilities limits with the past and with other people.

I dont have a strong constitution. I never have. My mind has always been willing and able. My spirit has always been willing and able. But, my body… well, Ive often pushed my body beyond its limits to keep pace with the inclinations of my mind and spirit. This hasnt always worked out so well for me. I typically pushed myself and went 100mph only to crash without seeing the wall I was about to crash into. Ive gotten better at pulling myself back, stopping myself from pushing and just surrendering to what my body needs instead of what my mind it trying to pressure it into doing but it frustrates me. It frustrates me to have a willing mind and spirit and weak body. Its a lesson is patience and self acceptance. It is also perhaps a challenge for me to offer my body as much unconditional love as I offer others.

I worked a lot this week. It was a good week. I accomplished A LOT but it was challenging too. I came home exhausted each night and by 4:00pm on Friday afternoon, I was toast. I was home in my pajamas with a gluten free pizza by 5:00pm. By 7:30pm I couldnt keep my eyes open and I was in bed at 8:00pm. Part of the problem this week was that Fall Season is typically when I am more susceptible to migraines. Sun glare, weather changes, windy and rainy days seem to trigger more headaches for me in the Fall. I had a small headache most of the week that I was able to manage and move through but it was making me tired. It pushed through it all week so I didnt miss work but I think it prompted an episode of Tachycardia while I was at work on Thursday. At first I wasn’t sure what was happening then I checked my heart rate from my Apple Watch. It was definitely a Tachycardia rhythm. My congenital arrhythmia has been stable for long time so I was a bit freaked out. It’s been so long since I had an episode that I don’t even carry rescue medicine with me anymore. I closed my eyes and focused on my breath for a few minutes. I then went and got Coconut Water front the vending machine. Coconut Water is high in Potassium; Potassium is my natural rescue medicine because it lowers the heart rate. It hasn’t happened again.

As weird as it sounds, I felt like I was having a psychic headache. Ive gotten those kind of headaches in the past when people I love have been stressed or in trouble. The night my niece was arrested I had a monster psychic headache and knew before my sister called something bad had happened. So far I havent gotten any phone calls or received any bad news, that doesn’t mean something hasn’t happened. It just means someone hasn’t told me. Hopefully, the Tachycardia was just hormonal and the headache was just sinuses.

My mind wanted to go out and enjoy life on a Sunny Saturday afternoon. I instead slowed down. I spent the day by letting my body come to a full and complete stop – REST! My body and mind were tired and just needed to be warm and comfy under a blanket with books and movies for the day. Everything I WANTED to go do could wait. Learning to stop myself is a huge act of surrender for me. Its also an act of self acceptance. To finally love myself enough and accept myself enough to respect my body’s limits and no longer push it is a big deal for me. The loving kindness I am showing my body by acquiescing to this basic need for rest is one of the most important self care lessons Ive learned in recent years. In this situation, self care is passive rather than active. I am NOT “doing” instead of doing.

Career-wise this week has been interesting and felt almost like a roller coaster that I didnt know I was going to be on :-). There are only eight weeks left in my temporary assignment and its that time when everyone is asking what I am doing next. I was dodging people left and right to avoid conversations this week. Lol I just didnt feel ready to have that conversation. Im still exploring options but I was cornered twice this week by managers I decided it was best to be honest about my feelings. Here’s the truth – Ideally, I would like to stay in my current role if they are able to make that happen in some way. Otherwise, I am looking for another opportunity to learn, grow and use all of my talents and skills in, hopefully, a more strategic role which hopefully includes doing outreach work. However, I am also extremely interested in Cyber related topics and we are doing research in that area. That would be an area of interest for me too so they asked if I was open to another temporary assignment. I am open to it but I am not sure that is even possible since Ive already been gone a year.

All of these conversations brought me to basic questions I had to ask myself. What do I want? What is the best choice for me to make for my holistic wellness in this situation? Self care in this area means this choice needs to be about my holistic wellness. Its not just about money or title. Its about what do I enjoy doing. Its about what area could I continue to grow or learn something new. Its about where could I do the most good. I dont want to be stuck in a cubicle doing desk work. Ive had taste of something more and I like itThe interesting thing is I am not stressed about this because my faith is rock solid that everything will work out for my highest good. I am also happy that folks are talking to me about options and I’ve been able to be honest and express myself.

I got a big surprise at work this week and it was good news. A prize competition I proposed earlier this year has been stuck in legal for months. Well, I found out one of my Directors has been pushing them on it without me knowing. On Thursday, they gave me the go ahead as long as I get approval from the highest level of leadership in the company. Lol My response was, oh, is that all? Then my Programs Sponsor offered to have that conversation for me because she likes the innovation and creativity I’ve shown. I wrote her a briefing with talking points. She will use those to pitch to her boss. Since we cleared the legal hurdle, approval would delegate authority to us to run multiple competitions – if we are successful I honestly thought this project was dead and I just moved on. It means a lot that I received so much support even when I thought it was dead.

I need to rant on one topic….lol I live on the beach on the 7th floor of an old building that was converted from a hotel. It has a brick exterior wall. The bricks are splitting which is causing a water leak in my oceanfront window when it rains and is causing major water damage to dry wall and carpet. I am starting to worry about mold and air quality. I now have pots lining my front window while the owner and property management figure out what to do about it. Its coming down to who is responsible to pay. The exterior wall is the condo association responsibility while interior is the landlords responsibility. I found out the condo association was supposed to fix the exterior wall a few years ago but they never did it. This would mean they would also be responsible for replacing the dry wall, carpet. Each week this continues I get more concerned about mold, air quality and if the dry wall is going to fall. My landlord asked me to hang in there with her. If she doesn’t hear from them this week, she’s getting an attorney. She promised to replaced the carpeting, not raise my rent and put me up in a hotel while the repairs are done if I promise to stay. The reality is we no longer have a lease. Its month to month. If I found another place and wanted to move, I could. I am hoping this gets resolved in the coming week because I really do not feel like moving.

This situation with the condo has me wondering if its time to move or maybe even time to buy a place. Heres the thing I like high-rise living. Its perfect for my situation. I like the safety of it. No one can come to my front door without going past security. I’ve had a stalker in the past so I like having security standing between and someone getting to my front door. I also like the social aspect. I know a lot of people here now so Im not isolated. If I do move, I would want to move to another high-rise. I started to open my awareness and start looking but Im not 100% I will pursue it if everything works out with the repairs. I really dont know what is the best thing for me to do in this situation. I dont know what is best for my holistic wellness as far as the apartment goes. For now, I am praying angels, guides and ascended masters to intuitively direct me to the right choice with the apartment as well as with the job.

As you can see self care for me is a work in progress. I am continually learning how to stop, slow myself down and recognize when I need to pull back. I am also trusting I will intuitively know what to do next in my career and what to do about the apartment and moving. In the meantime, I am keeping my eyes open to all opportunities. I am ready, willing and open to letting to. I am willing to take advantage of the right opportunities when they show up. Once you are out of the comfort zone, keep moving

Comfort zone

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Self Care Sunday – Holistic Balance

Chakras

I stopped drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes seven years ago November 25th. Heres the thing… I never intended to do it. I just wasnt feeling well. I had been vomiting and had chronic diarrhea for about 10 days; I thought I had virus. When I looked at myself in the mirror on November 25, 2011, I saw dark circles, red eyes and yellowing skin. I knew it was more than virus. I decided that day it was time to take a break as I worked with doctors towards healing; I am still on that break seven years later.

Over time I realized my body could no longer sustain the lifestyle I had been living. Drinking or smoking again was and still is not in my best interest. I tried to go out with friends on Friday nights. I drank club soda or Diet Coke but I just wasnt comfortable in that environment anymore. The noise in the bars really bothered me. I came home agitated. My drunk friends annoyed me. I was uncomfortable. I didnt know where I belonged anymore. I felt out of place everywhere. It was a hard time.

This time not only tested my body but it also tested all of my relationships. I distanced myself from a lot of people during that time for the sake of my well-being. With no other place to turn, I leaned hard into my faith. My rock solid faith became the rock I stood on during those hard times. One Friday night as I was driving home from work in 2012 I decided to cancel my happy hour plans and go to a yoga class instead. That was the defining moment and the beginning of the new life I have now. Once I detached myself a bit I could finally see things clearly. I knew God was making me uncomfortable so I would let go of a life that no longer served my highest good.

Today, I live on the beach. I have a great day job. I am also a holistic wellness coach and Reiki Master. I am able to help others with my abundance. I am finally comfortable in my own skin and living a life that is authentically mine. I am the best Linda Ive ever been. I believe none of the wonderful things that happened in my life in the last seven years would have happened if I was still going to happy hour every Friday and living that party girl lifestyle. Once I let go, God gave me a new life that is so much better than the one I settled for all of those years. God wanted more for me than I ever thought possible for myself.

Holistic wellness encompasses more than just your physical health. Its about the connection between the trinity of body, mind and spirit. Often times we try to fix one aspect of our lives without realizing all three are intertwined; choices impact all three aspects of our being. For example, our physical health can impact our ability to work and our relationships which could eventually impact our emotional and spiritual being. To successfully navigate a major life change, its important to address the needs of body, mind and spirit as a whole. As you take care of your physical body, also look after your mental well-being and your spiritual needs.

A few suggestions

Meditation, affirmations, mantras and prayer

Mediation, affirmations, mantras and prayer are great ways to reduce anxiety and also quiet the mind. Slowing the mind down benefits the spiritual being and allows us to hear our intuition and inner wisdom. My favorite mantra is “everything is always working out for my highest good!” I say this quietly throughout the day. Feel free to use it too.

If you are interested in learning how to meditate, please check out my friend Laura’s Udemy Course “The Foundation Skills for a Meditation Practice”. It’s only $9.99 for a few more days. Laura is a personal friend of mine; she is an Occupational Therapist and a fantastic yoga teacher.

Udemy

[https://www.udemy.com/share/100G6bCEofcVhaQQ==/]

Breath observation

Breath Observation is a quick effective way to slow down the mind. Sit for five minutes with eyes closed and observe your breath as it rolls in and rolls out. Dont try to control the breath; just observe it. Don’t worry about your thoughts. Just sit in silence and observe your breath come in and go out. Observing the breath with closed eyes is a basic form of meditation; it can be practiced whenever you need to center yourself.

RAM Meditation

Reiki is the movement of Energy through the body. The body has seven Chakra Centers (Energy Centers) along the vertebrae. The Manipura Chakra (Sanskrit name) is the Solar Plexus Chakra and is located in the abdomen region. Manipura is believed to be the seat of our personal power and authenticity. It’s the fire in the belly! It is represented by the color Yellow. I have a tendancity to burn a little too hot in this region; I am a DOER! This is manifested in my chronic gastro issues. It’s my challenge to learn how to balance Manipura Energy. Having a fire in the belly is good unless you burnout If you would like to work on tapping into your personal power or need to balance Manipura Energy also, sit for five minutes with eyes closed and chant RAM – pronounced R-AUM! The sound vibration of R-AUM resonants with the Solar Plexus and helps to bring energy into balance.

I plan to write more about Reiki, Chakras and Energy movement in future blogs. For those who are interested learning a more Sanskrit mantras, see the below 21 minutes video of Sanskrit chakra mantras including RAM.

Enjoy Self Care Sunday and consider practicing with mantras, breath observation or the RAM Chant

Chakras

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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