How Much Mileage Do Your Questions Get?

Open Road

Do you need to have an important conversation? Do your want to encourage an open dialogue with stakeholders? Perhaps you are a coach/mentor and want to help your clients find the answers within themselves and draw their own conclusions.

Conversation is an art. It requires a bit of finesse to relate to folks on their level and to be able to listen with focus attention as they tell their story. People open up when they feel safe. They also open up when they know you are genuinely interested in what they are saying.

High-mileage questions are an effective conversation technique to use with clients, students, employees, stakeholders or even friends. High-mileage questions are open-ended questions that allow folks to dig deeper by exploring the topic after reflection. Once folks start talking, the role of the coach is to be present and listen then ask thoughtful follow-up questions.

I use high-mileage questions in coaching calls but I also started using them in my conversations with friends and at work. I’ve noticed a better connection and more engagement with folks. Folks can tell I am genuinely interested in hearing how they are doing and not just asking “How are you” as a reflex.

Below are a few high-mileage questions to experiment with in conservations. See if you notice a difference. Observe how folks open up and perhaps even trust you enough to share more of their story, issues or concerns. In my personal experience, people seem to appreciate my willingness to listen to their story. Often times, people just want someone to slow down and listen to them. As people talk, they seem to find their own answers. I then may offer suggestions related to what came up for them.

You can use high-mileage questions in conversations with clients, students, employees or even with friends. Feel free to change them around as needed. It is also helpful to keep an intention in mind when asking the questions. For example, some questions relate to the future while others relate to the past. Here are a few to get you started:

FUTURE:
How will it be different once you have a solution?
What would be the very first sign that things are getting back on track?
What would happen if you lowered your expectations?
What would happen if you raised your expectations?
What does success look like for you?

PAST:
What is your story around…?
What would it look like if you changed your story?
What have you realized about your priorities at this time in your life?

PRESENT:
What have you realized about your priorities at this time in your life?
What is working well in your life right now?
Where do you feel stuck?

ACTION ORIENTED:
What is one small step you could take this week that you know you could
do successfully?
What would you like to achieve in this session?
What would you need in order to move forward?
If you knew you had nothing to lose, how would you act and what would
you choose?

GOALS/VALUES:
How is your current situation meeting your value requirements?
How are you stopping short of your goal?
What did you learn about yourself/your situation/your values as you
completed this exercise/goal?

PEOPLE/PLACES/THINGS
How do you feel different when you are with this person?
How’s your love life?
What does it keep you tied to?

SELF COACHING
What would you tell a friend in the same situation?
What do you think you should do?

HOW TO ENCOURAGE CLIENTS TO REACH OUT FOR SUPPORT
How can I best support you?
May I tell you what I see happening?
May I tell you what I’m hearing?
May I tell you what I’m noticing?
Would you be willing to email me your progress?
May I hold you accountable to…?

Please remember to take good care of yourself this week. Here’s a direct link to my last post on Self Care Sunday.

Self Care Sunday Post

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

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Self Care Sunday Post – Holistic Wellness

Self Care Sunday

How did you take care of your mind, body and spirit this weekend? I socialized with close friends Friday night. I walked three miles in the sunshine yesterday and today. I actually relaxed and watched TV last night too. Since I am in still in school, I had to do some homework but I did get to sleep in both days. This time of my life is a balance between self care, school and work.

I am also balancing between building my personal health coaching business and my new full time job. I spent some time this weekend strategizing for both areas. My thoughts today fall into a few different categories:

Full Time Job vs Health Coaching Quandary:

As I get closer to graduation, I am starting to think about what my Health Coaching business, Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC, looks like and what Intention I hold for it.

Intention

The reality is I have a full time job. I do not plan to quit my full time job until I am eligible to retire in 2028. It’s important that I maintain absolute professionalism and complete separation between what I do full time and my coaching business. It is also prudent for me to keep my social media accounts and website fairly clean to protect my image as my full time job is somewhat high profile. On the other hand, to build a thriving health coaching business, I need to put myself out there on social media. Do you see the quandary I am in?

After thinking about it, I’ve decided protecting my full time career takes priority over building my health coaching business on social media. I’ve accepted that most of my clients will probably come to me by word of mouth or referrals. I do have links to schedule appointments with me on this site but it will be hard to grow the business without me really putting myself out there on social media. I finally accepted that is ok.

Website Dilemmas:

Dilemma I have a couple of challenges with this site. First, I transitioned my blog to be my business site temporarily. The domain name is mapped over my WordPress Blog name. My blog has poetry and art that is a bit suggestive and is considered erotica. WordPress considers that for adult eyes only. Therefore, WordPress will not let the blog be on its home page which is now hurting my stats. It will also prevent my health coaching posts from being seen by other WordPress users.

I have a few options. I can transition off of the WordPress platform altogether. I can split the business site from the blog. I can stop worrying about stats and page views and just write.

I haven’t determined what to do as of yet. I think I may hire a website consultant for professional advice. I would prefer keeping the blog, poetry and business all together on one site. Having them all together demonstrates that I consider writing and art part of my holistic wellness. That’s authentic to who I am and honors the true spirit of my business. It also demonstrates that writing and painting, even if they are artistic and suggestive in nature, actually serve my highest good by feeding my soul and nurturing my spirit.

The way I see it is the business could be the main site with the blog being a page on the site. The blog would have it’s subscription list and URL just as it does right now. I can’t do that with my current site. I would need professional help in making that transition. I could probably figure it out but honestly I don’t want to use a whole weekend doing that for myself. I actually do not have the time to do that right now. Maybe I will have time after I graduate. For now, it’s fine the way it is. I am thinking more about the future. Since my intention is to keep the business lower profile, perhaps the way it is is good. I am looking for professional feedback. If any experts read this and have advice, please feel free to contact me.

Better Put Three Rings On It:

Binder Meme

I am standing up a new program at work. I feel like I have papers and folders all over my desk. It is making me a little crazy. I am VERY organized and seeing paper all over the place is causing me some anxiety. Lol ☺️ I use a planner at work and I love it. When I went to a meeting the other day, I had to bring the planner and like five folders with me to talk about my program. After strategizing it a bit this weekend, I am going to put together a three ring binder for my program. I will keep stuff like the Charter, Implementation Plan, Action Item list, Schools by State and other things I need as reference on a regular basis in the binder. I can take that binder to meetings with me and have everything at my fingertips.

How did you take care of yourself this weekend?

I am a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach who provides guidance on Holistic Wellness approaches. Health is about more than just the food on your plate. If you would like more information about Holistic Health Coaching, please email me at Linda@highestgoodcoach.com

https://www.integrativenutrition.com

Integrative Nutrition Plate

If you are ready to discover your Highest Good , click the PayPal button below and schedule a 30 minute consultation with me:

30 Minute Health Coaching Session

Payment is for a 30 minutes Health Coaching Session over the phone or on FaceTime. Once I receive the payment, I will contact the email address provided to set up the session.

$50.00

(C)2018 Linda A Long – Highest Good Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

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Big Data Analytics – What is it, How To Protect Yourself

Big Data Privacy IssuesLet me state that I am not a techie! I am just an average person who happened to see a change in Facebook’s Newsfeed and Googled it. My search returned more information than I could digest in one sitting but over the last few weeks I’ve been reading and learning about Facebook algorithms. I also have been learning about how my data is being used by Facebook, Google, Apple and just about every other website I visit.

Facial Recognition Software

Did you see a message from Facebook recently that said Facial Recognition Software has been deployed and it’s set to OFF? Well, that’s a lie. Facebook has been using Facial Recognition Software for a long time. I’ve received Photo Tag Suggestions in Facebook for a long time. The only reason they are telling us about it now is because they were sued in other countries and European Union is cracking down on Facebook for violating the privacy of users. If you think leaving it turned off will prevent them from doing recognition on your account, you are wrong. They will find ways around it. For example, this past week women have been glamouring themselves with an app offered in Facebook Newsfeed that shows what they would like on a magazine cover. That app uses Facial Recognition Software and is helping Facebook train its algorithm. There is also another app in Facebook Newsfeed that determines Ancestry based upon your face. Here are two apps in Facebook scanning faces to train the algorithm and get your face in the database even if you haven’t turned on Facial Recognition.

My God people, wake up!!!

It really creeps me out, I deleted all of my Profile Photos. I only left my Bitmoji photo. Let’s see them recognize that? 😂 Also, I don’t take those stupid quizzes on Facebook. Those quizzes are created by companies trying to get your data to – guess what? Analyze it!

Bitmoji

Sadly, SnapChat is also a Facial Recognition Software that so many people, kids mostly, use regularly. Once your face is in that database who knows who sees it. Let’s remember the FBI uses Facial Recognition Software too.

Parents, why are you posting so many photos of your children on Social Media? Their faces will be recognized for the rest of their lives. Their right to privacy from the world is your responsibility. Is your vanity or “proud momma” moment that you broadcast to the world on Social Media more important than your child’s right to privacy? Shouldn’t children have anonymity for as long as possible? Have we created a generation addictive to selfies, fish faces, likes and followers? Do you really think only your Friends see those photos? Nope, Facebook archives them! 😂😂 WAKE UP!

Facebook Data

One of the articles I stumbled upon was about the data that Facebook stores on internet users. I downloaded my Facebook Data and was stunned and sadly disappointed. I found private conversations I had with friends in the Messenger App going back to 2013. I don’t even have them on my account anymore. I deleted them years ago but Facebook still has them in their archive and data collection. That totally creeped me out and was pretty much my last straw. I can’t delete my account. I need it for school. Unfortunately, my family is active on FB and it is also the easiest way to keep up with them. However, I will not be giving Facebook data by interacting nor will I be putting my privacy at their discretion. Below is a link to the article.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5448389/Facebook-personal-data-files-Australia-inquiry.html?ITO=1490

What is Big Data Analytics?

When you use Facebook, Google, Mobile Devices, Search Engines, Apps, etc. you create data with each search, like, photo you post and comment you make. That data is worth a lot of money to advertisers, the government, Big Pharma and manufactures. Here are examples of how you create big data:

  • I post a photo on Facebook. I tag a friend. I put a location on the photo. My friends comment. In this example, Facebook engages Facial Recogition. It gets data on my friends and myself. It knows where I’ve been so it can target my location in ads and control content in my Newsfeed with its algoritim to be geared towards my location.
  • I “like” on Facebook several business pages. By liking those pages, I give Facebook data and they can sell that information or use to again target ads towards my interests.

Not all Big Data is bad. Apple is using some of the data from Apple Health App to help healthcare. Big Pharma is also using it to make drugs. Manufacturing companies are using it to make better processes. Trust me, Big Data Engineer is the career of the future for young people. It’s in high demand and pays a lot of money! Even the government hires them!

https://www.simplilearn.com/data-science-vs-big-data-vs-data-analytics-article

Cross Tracking Websites

I see Cross Tracking as the biggest risk to our every day privacy.

Scenario: I check my Facebook Newsfeed, close Facebook and go to Google or Amazon. I search for a new pair of Yoga Pants. The next time I log into Facebook Desktop, I see ads for the same Yoga Pants I just googled and bought on Amazon. How did that happen? Cross Tracking Websites! If you are logged into Facebook on a device, it follows you to your next site using Cookies. Yep, it’s happening! Facebook isn’t the only site using it either! How to protect yourself? Wake Up!

  • Stop using the Facebook App. Log into Facebook through the Browser on your phone. I’ve been doing this for years.
  • Log out of Facebook after each use or log out before using a Search Engine. It’s a drag to enter the password each time but it’s safer.
  • If you are using Apple devices, IOS let’s you have some control. Turn off the tracking features in Safari on all devices. (See the below screenshots) – Note About Safari: if you Block All Cookies, you will not be able to log into Facebook on Safari. I tried it😊
  • If you are using Chrome, use the Incognito Tab and Change your Settings. (See the below Screenshots)

IOS Cross Site Setting

Chrome Incognito Tab

I am sure there are other tricks I haven’t discovered yet too. If anyone has any other suggestions on how to tighten up personal privacy with Social Media, please share them with me.

I am also being mindful of privacy at work too. Since my employer has a Data Retention Policy, any correspondence on a “company” device is considered their data. Therefore, I am now being careful what and how much I write to folks on “company” phones, Instant Messenger and email too. It protects everyone. Probably best to use personal phones for informal convos with my coworkers who are friends/buddies.

This post is not aimed to be anti-Facebook or anti-Big Data. Big Data can have some positive impacts on the world if the technology is used ethically. However, I am not comfortable trusting Facebook, Google or anyone else, for that matter, to be ethical with my data. If you use technology, companies collecting your data is fact of life. We can’t completely stop it. We, as users, can be smarter and safer with our privacy. The essential thing you need to do to protect your privacy is too WAKE UP and stop technology from manipulating your privacy.

Maintaining privacy is a part of my holistic wellness coaching. If you would like more information on Holistic Wellness strategies, please email: Linda@writingholistically.com or visit the Coaching Services Page of this website to book a 30 minutes phone call.

https://writingholistically.com/certified-health-coaching/

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

I Create Art & Poetry

Art poetry health coaching

I Create Art & Poetry
By: Linda A Long

I am
A creator
I create
I create
Feelings through
My words
And
Illusions through
My brush
I create
Therefore
I am
A creator
I
Create
My life
Through intentional
Strategic choices
I take risks
I am a
Risk taker
I am
A creator
I move
With the flow
That runs
Through me
Of words
And color
I rise
With the challenges
Laid before me
To stretch
Become
Grow
And open
To a way
Of being
A new way
Of living
I rise
To the new
Life I created
With my
Intentional thoughts
I am
A creator
I manifest
With the flow
Of universal energies
And ride
The wave
Of higher consciousness
I am
A creator
I create
My life
I am
A creator

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long, Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

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NOTE

This the last day of my four day weekend. My biweekly day off at work got switched to Fridays so I ended up with a four day weekend. I was pretty busy Friday and Saturday. I started slowing down a bit yesterday. Today I am focusing on relaxing and taking care of my mind,body and spirit.

I started the day with breakfast a the local cafe. A friend was working so I ate at the counter and chatted with her. I then walked three miles and got my food and clothes ready for work tomorrow. Then I did a short yoga and meditation practice followed by painting with watercolors. Painting with watercolors is new to me. I’ve only been doing it for about a year or so. I do it freehand. I could probably use a class or two to learn some techniques. I did the below watercolor today. I would not say this one is frame-able but the lips in the heart does tell a story about speaking from the heart.

After the art was done, I wrote the above poem. I believe I create my life with my thoughts and through prudent courageous actions. I also enjoying creating art and poetry. It feeds my soul. I’ll probably end my day by watching a movie.

How did you feed your soul today?

Doing things that nourish your spirit can help improve your holistic wellness and even improve your health.

If you would like to learn more about holistic wellness or would like to schedule a 30 minutes consultation to explore if my health coaching services would be of benefit to you, I invite you to either visit the Coaching Services page of this website and or contact me directly at:

linda@writingholistically.com

Please visit my Coaching Services Page:

https://writingholistically.com/certified-health-coaching/