I’ve been fairly sentimental in recent months. Out of the blue my eyes have welled up with tears as I reflect back on my life. I’ve thought of the people who have shaped me and the people who hold places in my heart. While it’s a little uncomfortable to have my emotions at the surface level for all to see, it also feels very free to me to finally let it show. Finally, I am being honest in where I stand today, what I want in my life, who I love and how I got here. The word authentic strikes me. I am finally authentic.
While driving home with my Mother on Christmas night I felt filled with gratitude that I finally see and feel clearly. I would rather live this way than the way I did when I filled my time with one party after another or with beer and wine to numb myself. It was all meaningless chatter and not meaningful interactions. Now that all the meaningless stuff has fallen away I am focusing on the people and things that really matter in my life. I am finally down to what is real in my life. Nothing gives me greater peace and comfort than to take care of those I love. It makes me feel good.
This song kept playing in my head over the Christmas Holiday. In some ways this year felt like an ending of something. But, I am also hoping it symbolizes a brand new beginning as well. In any regards, in my life I’ve loved them all.
Linda Christmas Day 1970
I just found this photo over the weekend. This photo has “Christmas Day 1970” written on the back. It was taken the same year as the Santa photo I posted last week. So, looks like Santa brought me the dolly and stroller I asked for:-) Everyone says I look exactly the same only a few years older:-)
The photos of I’ve been posting of me when I was little are very special to me. They remind of the Christmas Days when my father was alive. He died when I was seven. He was only 41 years old. He had a massive heart attack while food shopping.
I am the youngest of five children and I am much younger than my siblings. While they all joke I was a “mistake”, my Mother still insists I was the only one that was actually planned because my Dad wanted another baby. And, I was his baby. He took me everywhere with him. I was most definitely “Daddy’s” little girl.
Everyone in my family remembers how much my Dad loved Christmas. I remember he loved everything about it. He loved decorating. He loved shopping. He loved shopping for the tree. He loved it all. My parents had a Christmas Eve party every year. Green and Red drinks were served(Green Creme De Mint and Blood Marys). I fondly remember those early Christmas Days before everything changed forever. I say thanks to my parents for being good loving caring parents. I am truly blessed to be your child.