Self Care Sunday – Looking Out For Yourself And Others

Art

It’s Self Care Sunday. How have you taken care of yourself this week? Have you moved your body physically and made it stronger? Have you enforced and maintained boundaries in your relationships? Have you protected your spiritual alignment by choosing to be with folks who are good for you? Have you taken advantage of opportunities in your career to set yourself up for future? Or did you slow down and allow yourself a day to rest your body and mind? I did all of these things this week.

God proved to me this morning he puts you exactly where you need to be. It’s up to us to be awareness and alignment so we can see when he is asking us to take action. I was walking early this morning. I walked a different route than I normally do today when a frantic elderly Indian woman came up to me. She was sweating, panicked, holding an umbrella and her purse. She handed me her cell phone and phone book. I couldn’t understand much of what she was saying but I could tell she wanted me to talk to someone on the phone. After hesitating for a moment, I took the phone and said hello. The guy on the other end told me she got lost because she got of the Jitney bus at the wrong street. He asked me to point her in the direction of his home which was about three blocks from where we were. She was panicked. It’s really hot today and I was bit worried about her. After I hung up, I decided to turn around and walk her to her at least to the street her Son lived on. When she saw his house, she must have said thank you to me over a hundred times. Honestly, I couldn’t understand anything else she was saying to me. She hugged me and was smiling ear to ear. The amount of relief, happiness and peace I could see in her face made it totally worth me turning around and escorting her so she didn’t get lost again. I am sharing this story just to encourage folks to look out for each other. Use your instincts and intuition. You don’t always need to understand someone’s words to know when they are in distress. After doing a quick assessment of the situation, I trusted my intuition and knew God was asking me to her. I said, “YES”!

I had my last PT appointment on my SI Joint, IT Band and foot earlier this week. The therapist and I agreed it is not healed yet. I am not ready for yoga yet. However, my work schedule and travel schedule has my calendar screwed up. My therapist worked my leg pretty hard and gave me the home exercises to do in the gym. I am trying this for a month to see if I can strengthen it on my own. With that said, I don’t usually go to the gym on Sundays. Since I was down for the count Friday night and Saturday with a migraine, I went to the gym today and walked three miles today to get back on schedule. I am committed to getting back to yoga and making my body stronger. On another note, I wore my highest high heels for the first time since rolling my ankle & breaking my foot. It was time to get back on the horse and wear high heels again😊I wore high platform sandals. I will say I was a little nervous & extremely careful 😂 I was ok👍

In recent weeks, two men from my past have been in my experience. One has been trying to re-establish contact and I ran into the other one at the grocery store; I completely ignored him. I am writing about this here just in case either one of them (older or younger guy) is reading my blog. I want to make things crystal clear without having any direct contact with either one of them. There is nothing here for either one of them. NOTHING! I am not interested in reengaging with either one of them and I have no feelings for either one of them. Let’s just leave things in the past where they belong. Those relationships were not good for me back then and I am not interested in revisiting them now. I wish both men well. I have no hard feelings. The point of me writing this is to say I actually have no feelings – at all – for either one. Again, I am only putting this on my blog in this post just in case one of them, younger or older guy) is reading my blog. The Blue Love poetry collection is not written for either one of them. Neither one of them is the inspiration for my poetry. It’s really that simple. Blue Love is a man who is good for me. My connection with him is healthy. He’s taught me how a man should treat a woman. While he desires me, he also respects me. Whatever happens in our future, he helped me grow. He helped me see I deserve better than what I accepted in the past. So, I am enforcing boundaries and not allowing men from my past who were not good for me to return into my life. Once again, I am thankful to Blue Love for looking at me with the beautiful blue eyes of love and helping me to know I deserve better. Thank You Blue Love.

I woke up at 2:00am on Friday morning with a migraine. When I get migraines, they usually start in the middle of night. I have medication. I usually get up, take the meds and go back to bed for a couple of hours. Usually by the time I wake up, it’s gone. This one wasn’t. While I was functional on Friday, I was still in pain. I came home around 4pm and gave into the headache. I knew it was going to take a few cycles of meds for it to go away. I pulled the shades, curled up in bed, watched tv and slept most of Saturday. The headache was gone when I woke up this morning. I think the headaches are prompted by jaw tightness and TMJ. My jaw was popping a lot last week and I was eating chewy stuff more than I should. Instead of pushing through it, I surrendered yesterday and rested. I allowed my mind and body to slow down. I took care of myself.

Sometimes self care is more tactical; it’s about actually physically taking care of yourself. Other times it’s more about enforcing boundaries. For me, it’s also been about learning I deserve better than I what I accepted and expected in the past. I am happy where I am now. I am happy with how I have grown and woman I have become in recent years. Folks who knew me seven, ten or fifteen years ago, really don’t know me at all anymore.  I am also eagerly looking forward to more – so much more in the future. I am looking forward to surrounding myself with people who are good for me like Blue Love. I am thankful and grateful for all of my blessings. I am happy for the love in my heart and good the people kind souls who are in my life.  I am happy and grateful.
(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

ICYMI My last post was Blue Love Haiku #12

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Self Care Sunday – Honoring Commitments We Make To Ourselves

Playground Pier - Atlantic City, NJ

Playground Pier – Atlantic City, NJ

Often times people are so used to putting others before themselves they forget that honoring the commitments they make to themselves is an act of self love and self care. Commitments we make to ourselves can define the quality of our life and our health. They can determine our future. They can also indicate how we treat other people.

I was thinking about this because I was rear-ended last week. I was fine. The only damage to my car was a hole in my bumper where his truck’s license plate bolt pierced it. We called cops. The guy is a retired cop and offered to pay cash for the repairs. While the police officer was there, I called my dealership since it’s a leased car. I asked what was the best way to handle it. They agreed no police report and cash instead insurance to keep it off of Carfax reports. I agreed not to file a police report. However, the police officer documented our names and addresses in her daily report in case I needed her help in tracking him down for payment.

I got the estimate a few days ago. It’s close to $400. I contacted the guy who hit me. He asked I wait until after June 1st to get the work done. I agreed. He called me Saturday morning and asked me to meet him at my dealership. When I got there, he not only paid the whole estimate up front for me he also made sure I had rental car for the two days my car would be in the shop. They will order the parts and schedule the job later this week. When I thanked him he said, “it’s important to me to honor my word.” That really stuck with me. I’ve been thinking about it a lot.

He was a 47 year old retired police officer. He could have easily only paid the deposit for the parts or not included the rental car. Instead he wanted to make sure he honored his word. He said he would take care of everything if I didn’t file a police report or go through insurance and he did just that. He paid it upfront and in full so I didn’t have to worry about contacting him again. He made a commitment to himself that honoring his word is a priority in his life. He also set an example for me. It also made me think about commitments I’ve made to myself.

I made a commitment to myself a few years back to live my life consciously; in awareness. That means I choose not to drink alcohol or take drugs on a daily basis to numb myself. I don’t care if others do, I just know it doesn’t work for me. That’s not to say under the right circumstances that I wouldn’t have one glass of delicious red wine with the right person. Trust me, if I do make it to Europe next year or even out west, you better believe I will be having pint in England and a glass of red in Spain. All I am saying is I made a commitment to myself that it can’t be part of my daily life because it makes me fat and stupid 🙂 I guarantee everything I accomplished in the last six years would not have happened if I stayed a party girl.

I also made a commitment to myself to work to the highest level I possibly can. It would be easy for me to work below my skill set and capabilities. However, as Marianne Williamson said, “playing small doesn’t serve the world.” I can offer so much more by allowing my innate skills and abilities to come forth rather than them holding back and allowing others to look good rather than myself.

I made commitment to myself six weeks ago to do strength training exercises twice a week. I already get cardio because I walk a lot; I was still weak and out of shape. As I get older, I am seeing the importance of staying strong. The more inactive you are, the more those old injures hurt. The more you sit still, the harder it is move. The truth is I am still experiencing widespread muscle and joint pain. I am dealing with it without really talking much about it. I have noticed an improvement since I started taking Iodine every day and I also have noticed I am starting to feel stronger. I can also see I am starting to thin out so the strength training is working. The routine I do takes about 30 minutes. I do it twice a week at a local gym that caters to older folks. I honestly think I am the youngest person who goes in there 😂 It works for me. It’s low key and low profile. I get in and get out. It’s a twice a week commitment; no exceptions. While a few coworkers were going to outside bar on the water after we attended a STEM event for work on Friday, I passed. I went to the gym and then walked four miles on the boardwalk to my beautiful spot on the edge of the pier over the water on a beautiful afternoon. I love being out in nature. Remember what I said? Strength training twice a week; no exceptions! I do have good self discipline!

The most important commitment I made to myself is to live authentically and honor the truth of who I am and to honor my body. When I make choices, I go inside. I pray and ask for divine wisdom from God and my angels and guides. I listen to my own intuition. I shut off the noise around me and honor my intuitive wisdom to lead me in the right direction. I very rarely ask anyone for advise or for their opinions. When I do ask someone for guidance, you know I must really trust them because it happens very rarely.

If you compared my life seven years ago to the life I have now, it would be clear the commitments I made to myself in the last seven years have changed my life for the better. I am getting stronger, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually with each passing day. The future I see for myself is full of love, joy, opportunities and growth. On the career front, I am finally on a good path that is fulfilling and has plenty of opportunities. It’s really up to me to capitalize on them. The funny thing is I shared a big vision that I have for my Program with my boss the other day. He looked at me, smiled and then said, “That could actually happen; you are already working towards it!” Being a strategic thinker is one of my best assets 🙂

Other commitments I made to myself are less serious but equally important because they will create balance in my life:

🔷 I will have more fun and not take myself too seriously – I’m working my way back to fun in all areas of my life. My Dad will be happy about this one 🙂

🔷 I will have more adventures – I am thinking of taking a road trip to pow-wow on June 9th. That seems like fun to me and June 9th is also the 44th anniversary of my father’s death. Then I am hoping to hop a bus to NYC on June 10th to visit the American Indian Museum and tour a couple of Buddhist temples next Sunday 🙂 I may stay overnight because I am trying to catch up to friends for late lunch or early dinner. I am not sure yet of any of this yet because of the weather but I would like a little adventure this weekend. While I’ve been to NYC many times, I’ve never been to Indian Museum or the Buddhist Temples. I am sure there plenty of other off the beaten path things I’ve never done up there too. It’s definitely only a day trip or an overnight trip. I tentatively have to be in DC on June 12th for another work meeting with Program’s Sponsor.

🔷 I will walk the other way on the boardwalk towards the AC pier I love. I was avoiding that all summer last year to stay away from the crowds but I realized I missed the view. The above photo was taken from that pier. I need more of this view in my life. I need to maintain a strong connection to nature and the ocean.

🔷 I will sit on my balcony more. I am going to sit out there to write too. When I write outside, I can hear the ocean rolling in and out. I can hear the birds. I hear kids laughing. I can see folks enjoying the beach and boardwalk.

🔷 I will watch the fireworks Saturday nights from my balcony. The Tropicana will have fireworks every Saturday night through September 9th at 10pm. Well, I am hoping to watch them every Saturday night. Sometimes I am just tired and fall asleep before they start. The below photo was taken from my balcony last night during the fireworks.

🔷 I will go down to my building’s pool. It’s supposedly the best on the Island. I also plan to walk out to the beach more often as it is out my black door 🙂 I was in school full time while working full time last summer. I didn’t have much playtime. I am making a point of not over committing myself this summer.

🔷 I will experiment with riding a bike again 😂 I am not a big fan of bike riding but I want to try it again to see if I like it. If I do, I may buy one to ride around town and on the boards.

🔷 I will invite friends and family down more this summer. My new recliner is arriving in week or so that will be another comfy place for guests to sit. It will also be a comfy place for me to chill 🙂

🔷I will make sure the people I love know they are loved and thought about. I am committed to reaching out in little ways to people who I love to be sure they know I care about them. Smiles, text messages, phones calls, dropping by – it’s happening 😂

🔷 I will research my Spanish, Mexican and Native American Roots. I found out they are all connected. I always knew I was Irish, German and Spanish. The Native American was found in a DNA test. It said it was Native American in Mexico. I learned recently Mexico was originally settled by the Spanish and the Apache Tribe. Apaches were known to be warriors and gifted strategists. I have both of those qualities 🙂 It all makes sense. I’ve always enjoyed Native American Culture. I will also offer to pay for my mom to do a 23andme kit. I’d like to see for sure what her Ancestry DNA is. I am pretty sure she is Irish/English and German. She’s a fair skinned blue-eyed blonde. My dad had dark skin, dark eyes and dark hair. From oral family history, the Spanish and Mexican came from him. I also assume the Native American came from him but I am not completely sure. That’s why I want my Mom to do an Ancestry DNA kit.

🔷 I will spend more time with my Mom. There’s a party she wants to go to in few a weeks. Because there is still a family war going on and I am Switzerland, it’s best for me to go up and take her. So I rearranged my schedule to be her date. She was relieved and happy.

So, my question for you today is – what commitments have you made to yourself? Are you looking after you own happiness and fulfillment? Are you loved? Are you inspired by those around you? Are you having fun? Are you creating balance in your life? Are you choosing happiness?

Coming up later this week on Writing Holistically – Blue Love Haiku #10 (it’s already written)

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Tropicana Fireworks - Atlantic City, NJTropicana Fireworks – Atlantic City, NJ
Team Mexico - Si Se Puede!

Team Mexico – Si Se Puede!

Eye Of The Soul – Poetry

Eye Of The Soul Watercolor by Linda Long

Eye Of The Soul – Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

Looking within
My soul
I found you
Standing there
As if you were
Waiting for me
Waiting for me
To see you
I wandered away
From you
I was complacent
And eventually
Lost touch
With the fabric
Of my own soul
I heard the whispers
From inside
I just wasn’t ready
To listen
I saw
The truth
Behind the lie
I was living
Every day
I knew
I sold my soul
For a paycheck
And security
I walked around
For while
In complete
Brutal consciousness
Of what I lost
And what
I was becoming
But I was afraid
Afraid to let go
The grass
Isn’t always greener
I made
One excuse
After another
Until my body
Broken down
As if throwing
The gauntlet down
In front of my soul
Forcing me
To rise over the fear
Making me see
My body wasn’t
Breaking down
Out disease or illness
It was breaking
Down
Because my mind
Body and spirit
Were no longer
In harmony
The negative chaotic
Energy that surrounded
Me daily
Caused me constant
Agitation
The overwhelming
Negative chaotic
Energy in my work
Environment was
Holistically unhealthy
For me
But I was still
Still unsure
Of my next steps
And then
One day
It was clear
I gathered my courage
From my blue eyed
Inspiration
I took a deep breath
And
Jumped into
The eye of my soul
I started to see
Things clearly
I started to understand
That this
Opportunity was special
Created just for me
And if I wasn’t open
To receiving it
I may never
Get another one
And over time
Every obstacle
Was eliminated
And I flowed
Effortlessly
Towards my soul’s
Calling
Unsure where
This will take me
I surrender to the
Creation process
And live
Live my life
From the
Eye of my soul
Seeing life
Living life
As my soul
Directs me
I am finally free
I am free
I live my life
Through the
Eye of my soul
I am finally free

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long, Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

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ART “Eye Of The Soul” is my own original watercolor

NOTE After my first week in my new job, I can say for sure my new work environment will be holsitically healthier for me than the one I left. I am highly motivated to make my Program a success so I can stay with this new group 🙂

I am sensitive. I’ve always been sensitive to noise, people’s emotions and especially energy. Lately, especially the last year, my sensitives have grown with my intuition. Honestly, The collective energy of the group/work environment I left shifted and it is NOT balanced or stable. It feels too chaotic. It’s in constant motion and that is not healthy for an organziation. My new work environment is calmer, healthier and quite honestly people do not have as much access to me in this new role. Also, I am vision setter in this new role. I have an opportunity to really do something amazing in the “company”.

As I reflect on how I got here, I am grateful for inspiration and courage I got from Bluelove to step out of the comfort zone and pursue this opportunity. I feel like I am finally working in alignment with my soul💙🦋 I am finally seeing life through the eye of my soul. For me, it was learning about Integrative Nutrition Primary Foods that helped me make the connection.

I took my third test at IIN today and passed. We are moving into our last Quarter in school. Most of the nutritional education is over and we are now focusing on Primary Food, coaching skills and business development. Since I do already have a full time job, I plan to only do coaching as my part time job. I also decided to focus my coaching on Primary Foods, Life Coaching and Holistic Wellness instead of nutrition(diet) health counseling. The coaching skills I am learning are actually going to help me at my full time job too 🙂 I am looking forward to graduation in May. It will be nice to be done school and get that off my plate.

If you would like to learn more about Primary Foods or would like to schedule a 30 minutes consultation to explore if my health coaching services would be of benefit to you, I invite you to either visit the Coaching Services page of this website and or contact me directly at:

linda@writingholistically.com

Please visit my Coaching Services Page:

https://writingholistically.com/certified-health-coaching/

For more information about IIN’s Primary Foods:
https://www.integrativenutrition.com/blog/2016/08/why-primary-food-is-integrative-nutrition-s-key-to-health-and-happiness

Writing Poetry Is My Soul Food – Health Coaching

Mermaid Ocean Heart Love Bluelove Are you in touch with your soul? Can you hear it when it tries to talk to you? Do you recognize the voice within you urging to care for yourself on a deeper level?

For me, the voice of my soul often expresses itself through the written word. I write… I write because my soul needs me to write. My soul especially loves to express itself through poetry. I have been writing poetry since I was 15 years old. It is very soothing me to write my thoughts and feelings out in free verse.

Love poetry, especially, is my passion. Nothing inspires me to write more than feeling a deep connection to a man. Over the course of the last 35 years of my life, I have written poetry for a few men but none have compared to the depth and breadth of my Bluelove collection. In writing poetry for Bluelove, I truly found my voice as poet and as a woman. By writing poetry for Bluelove, I learned about myself and deepen my ability to love without conditions or expectation. By writing for him I have deepen my connection to my own soul and honed my craft of the written word.

Writing poetry is a spiritual practice for me. It provides me nourishment on a soul level. To connect this post back to Holistic Health Coaching, writing poetry for me is a mind, body, spiritual practice that balances and nourishes me holistically. According to Integrative Nutrition’s principles writing poetry nourishes me in my Primary Food area of Spirituality.

Writing poetry is only one of the ways I connect with my spirit. I also meditate, pray, practice yoga, chant mantras and paint watercolors.

How do you feed your and nourish your spirituality?

Below is a new a poem I wrote for the Bluelove Collection:

My Blessing – Love, Sex & Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

As we
Move through
This world
In different directions
Each walking
Different paths
Towards our
Highest good
I call on God
And our Guides
To strengthen us
By reassuring
That the depth
Of our spiritual bond
Will keep us connected
I have faith
That our connection
Is not defined
By the closeness
Of our proximity
Instead
It is defined
By bond of our souls
As much I
Want to look
Into your beautiful
Blue eyes
Every day
For the rest of my life
I am also aware
There is something
Happening now
Right now for
Both of us
We are both
Refining ourselves
Stretching into new skin
Transforming our souls
Striving for our best
And highest good
Perhaps
During this time
Of self-expression and growth
We need to
Walk the path
Physical alone
While still
Knowing our
Soul Connection
Our spiritual connection
Is unbreakable
It was today
I felt
I needed to
Remind you
My Bluelove
You are never far
From me
Our connection
Does not require
Your presence
For me to feel you
Our souls
Recognized each other
Before our eyes
Ever saw
The depth of
Sexual lust and desire
We have shared
Over the last five years
As we move
With the wind
Of change
Carry me close to your heart
I am not looking
To leave you
I am only
Looking to
Find a part of myself
I lost a long time
Ago when I settled
For contentment
And played smaller
Than my capabilities
In these years
Of living a life
Less than the one
I am capable
Of Living
I lost the person
I was born to be
The natural risk taker
The girl with moxie
The unhappiness
Of living without
Authenticity pushed
So hard against my spirit
It almost broke me
But it most certainly
Was never about you
You are
One of my blessings
Our connection
Nurtured and fed
My Soul
Until love
Bluelove
Blossomed in my heart
You spark my sexuality
And
Inspire my poetry
You helped me
Grow into a
A stronger braver woman
Who had the courage to
Pursue the call
Of her soul
While my body
Misses the
Energy of lust
You being near
To me stirs
Between my legs
I take comfort
In the knowledge
That our connection
Is strong and
Resilent
It’s capable of
Withstanding change
And distance
It can grow and evolve
With us
And make us stronger
Together instead
Of break us apart
Take comfort
My love
You are still my
Bluelove
And I still
Carry you
In my heart
(C) 2018 Linda A. Long, Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

If you would like to learn more about Primary Foods or would like to schedule a 30 minutes consultation to explore if my health coaching services would be of benefit to you, I invite you to either visit the Coaching Services page of this website and or contact me directly at:

linda@writingholistically.com

Please visit my Coaching Services Page:

https://writingholistically.com/certified-health-coaching/

For more information about IIN’s Primary Foods:
https://www.integrativenutrition.com/blog/2016/08/why-primary-food-is-integrative-nutrition-s-key-to-health-and-happiness

NOTE: If you are viewing this post on a mobile phone, please scroll down to the bottom to follow me and see my latest Tweets and Instagram photos 🙂

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I Am ~ Love, Sex And Poetry 

I Am ~ Love, Sex And Poetry
Love, Sex And Poetry

I am
Love
I am the love
That surrounds
Your heart
In white protective light
Warming you with
The rays
Of the sun’s love
Beaming with
Joy and compassion
I am
Courage
I am the courage
Speaking bravery
Into your
Beautiful soul
Showing the
True warrior
That lives within you
Calling to your
Most high self
To affirm
Your heart’s intention
And honor
Your soul’s calling
I am
I am the path
Of highest good
Laid before you
Showing you
The best
That you can be
Asking you
To trust
The love
That is given
And honor
The craving
Of your soul
Instead of your ego
I am
I am eternal love
My love
Remains true
And steady
It hasn’t wavered
In absence
But grown
In the fire
And heat
Of our
Joined minds
And power
Of conscious creation
I am
Made
I am made from love
My eyes glisten
Affection
Into yours
My lips
Breathe passion
Into your heart
My breasts rise
In arousal
As your energy
Approaches mine
My hips relax
And open
Waiting for you
To press
Between them
And finally
Find peace
I am
Unconditional love
I am the
Unconditional love
That loves you
Without expectations
Or attachments
I am the
Unconditional love
That wants
The best and highest good
For both of us
I am the
Unconditional love
That respects your free will
To choose your life
But holds a space
For you
A Loving nurturing space
For you
In my heart
I am your
Unconditional love
You are
Loved Unconditionally
(C) 2017 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved

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Life Is Best When Lived Passionately

NOTE

One of the underpining of my Integrative Nutrition coursework is that holistic nutrition in one’s life comes from having balance and fulfilment in the Primary areas of life such as career, exercise, spirituality and relationships. I realized earlier this week that I was devoting so much time to my full time job & school work (tasks) that I was starting to feel unbalanced in my life. I knew it was time for me to pull back a bit and rebalance myself.

I slept 12 hours last night 😴 I was exhausted on many levels. I am an early riser so I was shocked when I woke up at 9am. I found out by 9:30am that my afternoon commitment was reschedule for tomorrow. This presented me with an opportunity to completely focus on nurturing myself all day and do things that nourish my mind, body and soul.

I walked down to the local breakfast hangout where everyone knows my name 😂I sat at the counter and enjoyed my breakfast while chatting with some locals and the servers who have become friends. I walked five miles on the boardwalk and enjoyed the beautiful sunshine. I bought all of my organic vegetables which I will cook tomorrow. I came home read my new book for two hours. I did a slow yoga practice focusing on my breath. I prayed, chanted mantras and meditated in silience. As I stood up from meditation the above poem was pushing against my heart and Blue Love came to mind. I curled up under the blanket and wrote the poem. I will finish my rebalance day with some more reading, Game Of Thrones from last Sunday and maybe a movie. Hopefully, I will sleep another 12 hours tonight 😂Tomorrow will be a busy day. I have school work and couple of school related phone calls plus cooking and laundry to tackle. But today – today is about doing things I enjoy and rebalancing my life…

What a beautiful day it has been 🙌🙏🦋It would have been absolutely spectacular if BlueLove was here in bed with me today 😉💙🦋💋

I am very grateful for this beautiful time of my life 🦋

Catalyst Of Growth ~ Love, Sex And Poetry 

Catalyst Of Growth ~ Love, Sex And Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

Can you
Let go
And love
A little deeper
Can you
Crack your
Heart open
A little wider
To let
In the sun
Of my love
And use my love
As your catalyst
Of growth
Can you
Sit with
Your pain
Heartbreak and loss
Without trying
To hide it
From yourself
Can you
Shine love
Into the darkest
Part of your soul
And let
Someone brand new
Rise from
The ashes of destruction
Can you
Allow yourself
To feel the
Warmth of my love
And source
Your own growth
Through my light
Do you love me
Unconditionally
Without
Expectations or attachment
Can you
Use me
As mirror
Into your soul
And dig a
Little deeper
To find
The softest spot
That needs healing
Will you grow
And rise with me
In love
And
Claim the love
That is given
To you freely
You are
My catalyst
Of growth
And change
I’ve grown
Because I love you
Will you
Grow with me
Will you
Share this
Catalyst of growth
With me
I love you love
Unconditionally

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Life Is Best When Lived Passionately

NOTE:
The below commentary goes along with this poem. One of the underpinnings of the Integrative Nutrition course I am studying is Primary Food. Primary Food is what nourishes and sustains a person in life such as: Exercise, Spirituality, Career and Relationships. Being balanced and nourished in the Primary aspects of life is essential for wellness. The actual food on the plate is considered a Secondary Source of nourishment in the Integrative Nutrition world.

Recently, our class was given an assignment to reflect on the health of our relationships and we were asked to identify opportunities for growth and development. Through this exercise I was able to see that I’ve grown and healed on a very deep level in the last year through my relationship and connection with a man I refer to as “Blue Love”.

It was clear to me from the first moments our eyes locked that our connection was about more than just a sexual connection. Intuitively I knew there was something spiritual simmering under the erotic undertones between us. It wasn’t until last year when he took a temporary assignment out of town and we were separated that I found myself coming face to face with my abandonment issues, fear of loss and pain that I buried deep in my soul.

The first few months he was gone were emotional chaos for me. Old hurts, painful memories of loss and buried heartaches came to surface. Something about the void I felt in his absence made everything feel more intense. I became anxious, clingy and eventually depressed. I was depressed because I couldn’t believe his absence was triggering this deep emotional response in me. I understood what was happening in me was a call to healing. I was being called to sit with my fear of loss and abandonment. I was being asked to let him go and focus what happening within myself so I could heal.

In that moment of complete depression and rawness, I realized I was attached to him. My “attachment” to him was spiritually unhealthy for me and him. Attachment isn’t love. Attachment comes with expectations, clinginess and possessiveness. For years I’ve spoken about unconditional love. Yet, it wasn’t until I clearly saw I was attached in an unhealthy way to “Blue Love” that I realized that I wasn’t loving him or myself unconditionally. I was trying to hold on to him and to the part of us that changed. I was making myself anxious worrying about what he would choose next and if I would be a part of his plans or if he even still cared about me. My “attachment” was blocking my ability to let go. My attachment was blocking my ability to truly love him or myself.

In the last year “Blue Love” has continued to explore his professional options. While we continue to be physically separated something changed in me over the last year. In allowing myself to feel the pain of my separation from him I brought other repressed pain to the surface for healing. By sitting in the middle of all of my shit, loss, pain and abandonment issues I awakened my inner Healer and mended pieces of my heart that were broken a long time ago. In learning to let go of my “attachment” to “Blue Love”, I found a new deeper truer love for him as well as myself.

By healing myself on such a deep emotional level, I also awakened spiritually and started embracing my soul’s true calling to be a “Healer”. I found the courage to face illness with strength and self love instead of fear and self pity. In choosing to love him and myself truly unconditionally, freely without expectations or attachments, I let go of all fear and broke myself open to profound growth in all areas of my life.

“Blue Love” is still in my life. I am very grateful for our relationship and our connection. It is clear to me now he was put into my life to help me grow spiritually. I was meant to learn how to truly love myself and others unconditionally through my relationship with him. He is truly a “soulmate” and maybe even a “Twin Flame.” For that I am forever grateful.

So, I ask you now to reflect on the quality of your relationships. Are there any opportunities to growth, self awareness? Can you let go and love a little deeper? Are you attached or in unconditional love? What is your opportunity for growth in the Relationship aspect of your Primary Food?