Self Care Sunday May 19, 2019 – Part 2

Love is the answer quote

This is my May 19, 2019 Self Care Sunday Part 2. When I wrote Part I, I was not feeling inspired to write about any particular Self Care topic. After taking a long walk this morning and thinking about relationships a lot while I walked, I decided to write this Part II. So, when you get done reading this post about relationships, please scroll down and read Part I too 🙂

Having healthy relationships is considered to be a key component in practicing good Self Care. Honestly, I was bad at maintaining healthy relationships in years past. In years past, did not maintain or enforce proper boundaries. I was a giver to my own detriment. I allowed folks to take advantage of my loyalties. I assumed everyone would respect me and I naively believed love was the answer for all problems.

Massive changes swept though my life a few years ago. While I was spiraling through them, I was trying to keep all of my relationships status quo. Until the day I realized, my relationships were contributing to the problem. It wasn’t easy to step back and see what I accepted in life. It wasn’t easy to distance myself from unfulfilling relationships in my life. It wasn’t easy to choose me instead of them. It wasn’t easy but that critical act of self care, completely changed me and my life. I became stronger once I saw the truth in my life. The quality of all of my relationships greatly improved once I started exercising good self care in all interactions.

I can’t write about relationships without writing about my relationships with men in my life. At this time, I will give a warning that I am about to be really vulnerable and reveal the truth of who I am. I do so without fear or shame. I do so because it’s essential for me to live in authenticity.

Relationship with self

I am 100% heterosexual. I like men. I enjoy men. I am wildly attracted to Blue Love because of his boy next door down to earth demeanor. I also seem to be wildly drawn to the bright blue eyes and grey hair combo. But, the truth is I haven’t been very good in my relationships with men throughout my life mostly because I never learned how to do it.

My father died when I was seven. My mother was widowed at 36 years old with five kids and never remarried because she was so heartbroken. A male member of family abused me. I didn’t date in high school. I was pretty and popular in high school but I was also very reserved. I didn’t really let many people into my world. While many of my friends were losing their virginity, I waited until I was 21. I lost it to a narcissist. It took me years to break free from him. He attempted to make amends with me and rekindle our relationship 20 years ago but that day was the last day I spoke to him. I asked him to not contact me again and he’s respected that request.

My sister’s death in 1999 broke me in a way I can’t really explain. I spiraled through depression and reckless behaviors. I was in one casual relationship after another until about 2007. There was a man who was 17 years older than I am. I knew him socially. I will call him “Tom” but that’s not his real name. Well, “Tom” and I were wildly attracted to each other. I am still attracted to him. I truly believe we were soul mates. We were not the kind of soul mates that end up spending their lives together. We were the kind of soul mates that came into each other’s lives to help each other grow. The below quote from Elizabeth Gilbert explains how “Tom” and I were soul mates.
Elizabeth Gilbert Soul Mates

All I can really say is what happened between “Tom” and I wasn’t pretty. It was painful for both of us. I truly believe “Tom” loves me even today but he understood something that I wasn’t ready to see or accept until 2011…He knew we were on different speeds in life and love just wasn’t enough for our relationship to be successful. We wanted different things. And, well, I am a strong willed female and he’s an old school guy who likes to call the shots. That’s a recipe for dynamite between a man and women. We are both stubborn. It became a battle of the wills and both of us lost. We ended UGLY! It ended in a very pubic explosion between us. I haven’t spoke to him since I walked out that day on September 15, 2011.

I last saw “Tom” at my best friend’s funeral last year but I chose to maintain a distance. I didn’t speak to him or even go anywhere near him mostly because I don’t need to relive that drama. When it’s done, it’s done! But here’s the thing about “Tom”. It was because of “Tom” that I let go of the life I used to have. It’s because of “Tom” that I learned to see myself, love myself and accept myself. It’s because of “Tom” that I have the life I have today. While I have no desire to talk to “Tom” or have him in my life today, I will always love him and be grateful to him for helping me grow. Perhaps that was his purpose in my life. He was sent to me to help me grow. That’s why I think he was a soul mate.

In recent years, I’ve take a time out from relationships mostly because I needed to work on myself. I wanted to look at my life. I wanted to decided what I want. I wanted to ground myself in authenticity as Linda without anyone else to worry about.

Relationship self care

As I reflect on relationships, I know one thing to be true now. I am growth oriented. I will always need to grow in all aspects of my life. I may be 52 but that certainly doesn’t mean that I will be slowing down. I fully plan to take risks, try new things, learn new stuff and grow personally, professionally and spiritually until I take my last breath. Any man who chooses to be in my life as my partner now must be willing to approach life this way. And, in return, I will support and help him achieve his wildest aspirations. I will help him reach for the next level. I will help him strategize his next move. I will be his motivation when he is feeling uninspired. I will be the voice in his ear saying “I love you. You got this!”

There is one thing I know now for sure about relationships. “Tom” taught me that in a relationship both individuals must want to live life on the same speeds. One person can’t be growing while the other is standing still. It won’t work and it will be unfulfilling for both. I also need a guy who knows I am his equal. I am his match. While I like to be a submissive and uninhibited in the bedroom, outside of the bedroom I expect respect and to be treated as an equal. I also tend to be a direct communicator. I need to be able to respectfully say what I need to say. I don’t mind fighting. I am #DTF – that could mean Down To Fight or Down To F$*K depending on the situation. 😂🔥💙 I don’t mind going a few rounds just to air something out as long as we respect each other’s boundaries. If you act like an ass, you shall be called out for acting like an ass. But neither should hit below the belt and no fighting in public – PERIOD! I will not walk on rice paper for anyone anymore.

I really don’t need much to make me happy in a relationship. I need someone who is willing to grow, who treats me with respect as an equal, who enjoys sparing; doesn’t mind a woman who challenges him by keeping things real with honesty and truth. Most importantly, I need and want love in my relationships. I am not interested in companionship. I am perfectly fine being single. I enjoy my own company. I am not lonely. I do not need company just for the sake of not being alone. So, any man who wants to be in my life better be prepared to give and share affection – LOVE. He will be loved, hugged and adored and must love me in return. At the end of the day, I do still believe love is the answer for all problems.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
img_0819

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Love Over Fear

For those who follow planetary activity, Mercury Retrograde ends on December 6th. Mercury Retrograde is usually time of miscommunications, technology snafus, missed connections and sticky contract issues. Many feel you shouldn’t sign contracts or make major purchases during the Retrograde. This can also be a time that the past comes back for reflections when we are presented a choice to go back or go move forward.

I look at the past differently now that I look at it through a lens of self care and self love. When I reflect on the past these days, I can see when not taking care of myself and not loving myself enough led me to make poor choices or perhaps put me in a position to accept less than I wanted or deserved.

Relationships with men have always been a complicated and sticky area of my life. Mostly because every relationship I’ve been in has been clouded by unresolved pain, grief and loss from the death of my father at the age of seven. I never really allowed myself to grieve properly for that loss for many years. My relationships were also clouded by a lack of trust that stayed with me after sex assaults by a family member when I was older which led to a fear of intimacy from constant heartbreaks and disappointments.

For a long time, I blamed the men who were in my life. I was the victim and our unsuccessful relationships were their fault and responsibility. In fairness, it is true that a few of them hurt me so deeply that they deserved the blame but as I’ve healed from my past traumas I can see there were a couple of good ones. As I stand here now, I can see I pushed away the good ones because I was too damaged, at that time, to be able to accept their love and attention. I never felt worthy. That’s a powerful awareness to have about oneself. The depth of self-sabotage I’ve done in my relationships is hard to look now that I am “healed” but it’s also something I can no longer turn away from or repress. I must look at that ugly truth. I must look at it to heal it.

Something has changed in me in the last year. Perhaps it’s finally having the courage to touch the pain of sexual assault by someone who was supposed to protect me that opened me up to healing. Maybe it’s finally learning how to take care of myself that brought about the new me. Maybe it was falling in love with myself that finally allowed me to let go of my past that changed me. It’s been quite roller coaster of emotions for me the last year but one I feel I needed to ride. In going on this emotional ride, I’ve gained some freedom and let go of burdens that really were not mine to carry.

I once again almost ran into a old flame last night in the grocery store. This time was different. I saw him looking at produce; he had his head down. I backed away and walked on by. I didn’t avoid him because I hate him. I didn’t avoid him because I blame him. I didn’t avoid him because he hurt me. I avoided him because we just were not good for each other and there is no reason to open old wounds for either one of us. I walked on by because it was best for my well-being to maintain a distance. There’s no anger in my heart towards him but there is love in my heart now… Self Love. I loved myself enough to choose to not engage with him.

I am more concerned about my relationship with myself these days than anyone else so no one should interpret this post to mean I am “looking”. I am not “looking”. I am just saying it’s nice to feel unburdened and hopeful after so many years of living with repressed trauma. I am lighter, better, healthier and happier now than ever before. Looking at my past traumas and being willing to sit with the pain was an act of self love that I am grateful I finally allowed myself accept and honor. A “Course In Miracles” says, “A Miracle is choosing LOVE over fear!” I guess you can say I’ve been blessed by a Miracle.

How have you loved yourself lately? Can you truly love yourself with enough openness to accept the love you deserve and are worthy of receiving? Are you willing to touch your deepest pain to feel deep true love again? Can you choose LOVE over fear and be blessed by a Miracle?

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Love over fear

Catalyst Of Growth ~ Love, Sex And Poetry 

Catalyst Of Growth ~ Love, Sex And Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

Can you
Let go
And love
A little deeper
Can you
Crack your
Heart open
A little wider
To let
In the sun
Of my love
And use my love
As your catalyst
Of growth
Can you
Sit with
Your pain
Heartbreak and loss
Without trying
To hide it
From yourself
Can you
Shine love
Into the darkest
Part of your soul
And let
Someone brand new
Rise from
The ashes of destruction
Can you
Allow yourself
To feel the
Warmth of my love
And source
Your own growth
Through my light
Do you love me
Unconditionally
Without
Expectations or attachment
Can you
Use me
As mirror
Into your soul
And dig a
Little deeper
To find
The softest spot
That needs healing
Will you grow
And rise with me
In love
And
Claim the love
That is given
To you freely
You are
My catalyst
Of growth
And change
I’ve grown
Because I love you
Will you
Grow with me
Will you
Share this
Catalyst of growth
With me
I love you love
Unconditionally

(C) 2017 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved

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Life Is Best When Lived Passionately

NOTE:
The below commentary goes along with this poem. One of the underpinnings of the Integrative Nutrition course I am studying is Primary Food. Primary Food is what nourishes and sustains a person in life such as: Exercise, Spirituality, Career and Relationships. Being balanced and nourished in the Primary aspects of life is essential for wellness. The actual food on the plate is considered a Secondary Source of nourishment in the Integrative Nutrition world.

Recently, our class was given an assignment to reflect on the health of our relationships and we were asked to identify opportunities for growth and development. Through this exercise I was able to see that I’ve grown and healed on a very deep level in the last year through my relationship and connection with a man I refer to as “Blue Love”.

It was clear to me from the first moments our eyes locked that our connection was about more than just a sexual connection. Intuitively I knew there was something spiritual simmering under the erotic undertones between us. It wasn’t until last year when he took a temporary assignment out of town and we were separated that I found myself coming face to face with my abandonment issues, fear of loss and pain that I buried deep in my soul.

The first few months he was gone were emotional chaos for me. Old hurts, painful memories of loss and buried heartaches came to surface. Something about the void I felt in his absence made everything feel more intense. I became anxious, clingy and eventually depressed. I was depressed because I couldn’t believe his absence was triggering this deep emotional response in me. I understood what was happening in me was a call to healing. I was being called to sit with my fear of loss and abandonment. I was being asked to let him go and focus what happening within myself so I could heal.

In that moment of complete depression and rawness, I realized I was attached to him. My “attachment” to him was spiritually unhealthy for me and him. Attachment isn’t love. Attachment comes with expectations, clinginess and possessiveness. For years I’ve spoken about unconditional love. Yet, it wasn’t until I clearly saw I was attached in an unhealthy way to “Blue Love” that I realized that I wasn’t loving him or myself unconditionally. I was trying to hold on to him and to the part of us that changed. I was making myself anxious worrying about what he would choose next and if I would be a part of his plans or if he even still cared about me. My “attachment” was blocking my ability to let go. My attachment was blocking my ability to truly love him or myself.

In the last year “Blue Love” has continued to explore his professional options. While we continue to be physically separated something changed in me over the last year. In allowing myself to feel the pain of my separation from him I brought other repressed pain to the surface for healing. By sitting in the middle of all of my shit, loss, pain and abandonment issues I awakened my inner Healer and mended pieces of my heart that were broken a long time ago. In learning to let go of my “attachment” to “Blue Love”, I found a new deeper truer love for him as well as myself.

By healing myself on such a deep emotional level, I also awakened spiritually and started embracing my soul’s true calling to be a “Healer”. I found the courage to face illness with strength and self love instead of fear and self pity. In choosing to love him and myself truly unconditionally, freely without expectations or attachments, I let go of all fear and broke myself open to profound growth in all areas of my life.

“Blue Love” is still in my life. I am very grateful for our relationship and our connection. It is clear to me now he was put into my life to help me grow spiritually. I was meant to learn how to truly love myself and others unconditionally through my relationship with him. He is truly a “soulmate” and maybe even a “Twin Flame.” For that I am forever grateful.

So, I ask you now to reflect on the quality of your relationships. Are there any opportunities to growth, self awareness? Can you let go and love a little deeper? Are you attached or in unconditional love? What is your opportunity for growth in the Relationship aspect of your Primary Food?

 

Strip me ~ Love, Sex And Poetry

 https://500px.com/photo/59146784/the-art-of-undressing-by-milica-tepavac-Strip Me ~ Love, Sex and Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

Strip me
Strip it all away
Take off my clothes
Peel them all away
Until you reveal me
Reveal me
Wholely, completely
To only you
Show me
My refldction
In the blue of your eyes
Strip me
See me naked in front of you
Until there’s nothing
Left to hide
From you
Bare my soul
With your hands
Pull away
My insecurities
With you teeth until
You see me
Until you see me
See me completely
With the warmth
In your crystal eyes
I want you to
See all of me
Take it all off
Undress me
From your pleasure
Strip away my inhibitions
Until I’m under
Your dominance and control
I have nothing
To conceal from you
Strip me
Bask
In my naked body
Strip me
Soak it in
Strip me
Naked
Strip it all away
(C) 2015 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved
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Life Is Best When Lived Passionately

Dear Kind Sir – Love, Sex & Poetry

imageDear Kind Sir
By: Linda A. Long

Dear Kind Sir:
I ask you,
my dear friend,
To graciously free
The passion that
I hold tightly
Ever so tightly
Between my legs
Will you kindly
Assist me
With my situation
I try
And try
To resist the thoughts
The wild sensual thoughts
Of you
Tightening the strap
From around my wrists
And demanding
My submission
I expose to you,
My dearest kind Sir,
My bottom
Round
Full
Plumb
Ready for the
Command of hand
To break the ties of my hips
With your powerful dominance
My body shutters by your touch.
I am a blush, Kind Sir,
With delicious fantasies
Of my stilettos resting
On your shoulders
Wild you
Suck my juice wildly
Taste me, Kind Sir,
I will drink from your lips
And source my strength
From our passion
In the tightness of your embrace
Give me solace, my dear friend
Possess me, Kind Si
I give you
My body to control.
Fondly, your ardent lover.
© 2015 Linda A. Long – All Right Reserved
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Life is best when lived passionately

Note: A good old fashioned sex poem while Blue Eyes is away again…❤️💋☺️😈

Love, Sex & Poetry ~ Seek and Find

2015/01/img_1409.jpg

Seek And Find – Love, Sex & Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

Seek
And you shall find me
Waiting for
The pleasure
Of your company
In my arms
Look
For me
I will be waiting
In my bed
With an open heart
And
Welcoming breasts
Nipples hardened
By the touch
Of fingers
Anticipating your arrival
Reach out
for my hand
I will guide you
To the center
Of my fire for you
I want you
To feel the
Fire that
Burns inside for you
Slide your hand down
Between my legs
And feel my wetness
I am wet for you
Only you
Step
Closer to me
Look me eye to eye
Let me loose myself
In the brilliant
Blue spheres
That pierce my heart
And ignite my body
Lay peacefully in
My energy
Let me nourish you
Let me sustain
Let me hold you
Tonight and forever
Inspire
My words
To flow like a river
Words of love
Sex and desire
Written by
Spark of your presence
I can’t contain it
Hear me moan your name
With passion
I need you
I’m waiting
Grab
Me tight
Pull me to you
Forcefully love me
With
Your powerful spirit
Claim
My body
You know
It Belongs
To only you
Kiss me
Stir
My juice
Taste me
On your lips
I am moist
For you
I am ready
For the deliberate touch
Of your masculine hands
Take it
Take all of me
Undress me
Lose yourself
In my desire for you
Believe in my Friendship
Explore with me sexually
In the safety of our
Connection
Passion is ours
Claim it with me
And let’s find peace together
Seek me
And you shall
Find Love
Love
© 2015 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved
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Note:

MBE❤️ So Damn cute today I could barely keep my legs closed😈💋 I have to remind myself of where we are 😄My appetite grows more everyday😈 I want that FANTASTIC ENERGY all over my body💋 I am very attracted to that, and of course, the blue eyes❤️💋😈

Photo Credit:
Unknown

Retrieved From:
Sageword Facebook Page

Poetic Intercourse – Love, Sex & Poetry

image

Poetic Intercourse – Love, Sex & Poetry
By: Linda A. Long
Poetic Intercourse
My words ignite
Your flame
We make love
To each other
Through words
Moving through
The atmosphere
Our bodies
Connect through
Thoughts and desires
In a perfect union
I make love to you
Poetically
Through my words
Until
The time my body
Becomes yours
By command
Own me by possession
Wholely I submit
To the love and desire
You spark
Deep within my legs
Carried up to through
My center
To heighten response
You are my Muse
The inspiration to
My poetry
Make love to me
Through your words
Let them carry you
To me
I carry the torch
Of lust for you
Deep within
My soul
Enter me
Poetically
Feel the sensation
Of my touch
Through your
Mind’s eye
Poetically
Make love to me
Fantasies come to lif
Through words
Magically poetic words
Of love, sex and desire
In Poetic Intercourse
(C) 2014 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved
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Note:  MBE❤️💋😈 💋😘

Photo Credit

“The Kiss”
Jindra Noewi

Retrieved From
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/jindra-noewi.html?page=2

Sensual Conspiracy – Love, Sex & Poetry

20140429-205156.jpg

Sensual Conspiracy – Love, Sex & Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

A flash
An intense flash
Brought you
To the front of my mind
I paused
And welcomed you
To my experience
I was uplifted by
Your energy
Traveling to me
Almost seeking
Me for comfort
And needing a little peace
I drifted in and out
Of the conversations around me
But you still remained
I would rather feel you
Than talk to them
I returned to the
Reality before me yet
Still felt you in my experience
I may have smiled
For a moment
When you flashed
Onto the screen of my mind
I allowed myself
To close my eyes
Breathe deep and
Give you
The reassurance you needed
Yes, I am here
Rooting myself in intuition
And instinctual notions
I opened my heart wide
For you to see me relax
Into the erratic rhythm that is only mine
But I open for you to see
You found me In your
Mind’s eye waiting for you
Sensing you needed me
I allowed my mind
To be the place
You refresh yourself
Trusting in what can’t
Be seen with an eye
Believing what can’t
Be touch with our hands
But trusting
In the connection we share
A connection that
Grows with time
Crossing dimensions
As spiritual as it is sexual
Stirring my body
Igniting my mind
Yet bringing a feeling of peace
That only comes with
The trust
There is safety
Between us
As your soul
Finds mine through
The distance
I ground myself
To offer calm relaxed energy to you
My spirit wants to
Be your soft place to land
I feel you need
A haven
A place of compassion and peace
Let me be the playground of your desires
As we move between
Our intuitive dialogs
And physical reality
I find myself
Increasingly more comfortable
In acknowledging
There is something remarkable
And rare happening between us
As the points of connection
Grow for us
I find it even more important
To keep our interactions private
To protect what is just ours
From the intrusion of others
And keep it separate from
Our other reality
While I don’t know
Where this journey will take us
I recognize my soul
As a willing conspirator to yours
In our ever growing connection
That blends spirit, intellect and sexual attraction.
It’s a sensual conspiracy
(C) 2014 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved

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Note:
I am having a Strong “Secret flirtation” vibe today👍😉💋😘

Photo Credit

H Momo Zhou, 1981 ~ Figurative painter

Retrieved From

http://www.tuttartpitturasculturapoesiamusica.com

The Invitation By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Female_Nude_Portrait_-_Hamish_Blakely_-_British_Figurative_painter_-_Tutt'Art@_(7) 

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer is by far my most favorite poem.

Please visit Oriah’s Official Site for more informaiton.  http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

 I hope you love it as much as I do.

The Invitation
By: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon…
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming,
from the book The Invitation
published by HarperONE, San Francisco,
1999 All rights reserved
http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

Photo Credit:

Hamish Blakely – Love Letters To My Wife

Retreived From:
http://www.tuttartpitturasculturapoesiamusica.com/2012/08/love-letters-to-my-wife-hamish-blakely.html 

Old Soul Eyes

0_24e59_cb7704fb_XLI am a Brown Eyed Girl. In my family, my father and I are the only two out of seven with brown eyes. Everyone else in the family has either Blue or Hazel eyes. I suppose that is why growing up I was always attracted to people with Blue eyes. I always thought Blue eyes were beautiful. You always want what you don’t have and I couldn’t figure out how I got eyes as dark as mine when everyone else in the family has fair eyes.

Then one day a mentor/friend said something to me that changed my perspective and made me truly appreciate the eyes I have. She said “You can see your soul in the depths and beauty of your eyes. You are an old soul. You can see it in your eyes. Old souls give comfort to the younger ones. And, that’s what you do.” I reflected upon this statement for a long time. I wondered “What’s an old soul?” At that time, I was only in my twenties and didn’t really get what she meant. I was still too emotionally immature to really understand or accept the depth of what she spoke. Nor was I willing to accept the responsibility that comes with being an old soul. You see old souls have been around the block a few times. If you believe in reincarnation, an old soul is someone who has lived many lifetimes before this one. If you believe in Buddism, an old soul is here again to achieve Nirvana and live their last lifetime. They are here in this lifetime to get it right.

As I reflect on this lifetime I am living and think of it in terms of being an old soul, I now understand and accept the many tragedies I’ve witnessed. I now know that God has me here on this earth at this time for a purpose. And, that purpose is to LOVE. It’s to offer compassion and comfort to the lost traveler. It’s to give guidance to person who left their soul in the lost and found. It’s to show empathy to the person who no one understands. And, I’ve made a commitment to myself that I am getting it right in this lifetime.

My sister passed away 14 years ago after a long tragic illness. I was one of her caretakers and it was the greatest privilege of my life.  Her death broke me for a long time. I couldn’t figure out how to live my life without her. But, her memory and her legacy now sets me free and has helped me put my heart back together again. By listening to my heart and following my very own instincts instead of listening to the advice or direction of others I was able to rebuild my life. I was able to reclaim my soul.

So, yes. I am an old soul. I’ve witnessed and experienced a great deal of heartache in my life. But, those heartaches have been a wonderful teacher. It was only recently that I finally figured out that my heartaches and disappointments didn’t have to be shields that protect me.  They needed to be the rock that I stand on so I can help someone else up. They were lessons God wanted me to learn so I can help others. They were lessons in love. Through the heartaches and disappointments I’ve learned just how much love my heart can hold. I’ve learned to express my love. I’ve learned how to love unconditionally without expectation.

I have old soul eyes and for that I am grateful.

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Photo Credit:

Bec Winnel

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