Self Care Sunday – Empath Survival

11:11

Self Care Sunday finds me focusing on Empathetic Self Care and Survival. I’ve been reading the Dr. Judith Orloff’s “The Empath’s Survival Guide” this week. I’ve also been watching some Empath Survival videos on YouTube this week. This page in the book really resonances with me

Empath’s Survival Guide

It resonant with me because this has been my experience for my entire life. I remember being teased as a little girl because I was so sensitive. My brother used to say he was going to “toughen me up.” He toughened me up alright… but, that’s not the topic of this post. This post is about sharing information to potential help other “sensitives” who may be experience similar things.

I was a shy, reserved and introverted girl. I didn’t learn to be extroverted until I started drinking alcohol which was more or less became my social lubricator. Here’s the thing… no one ever told me it was ok to sensitive, quiet and shy while I was young. Everyone wanted me to be outgoing, socialize more and often pushed me to do things I didn’t enjoy doing. Like “play” with the other kids. I was actually happy keeping myself entertained and hanging with my older sisters and the adults rather than being with mean kids. I guess what I am saying is that I became what everyone else wanted for most of my life. I lived many years without knowing who I was, what I wanted or how I truly felt because I stuffed everything down and lived up to the expectations of others. When I wasn’t living for others, I was partying so I never had to actually look at myself. I kept myself constantly busy with noise surrounding me so I didn’t have to sit with myself or feel the pain that was deep within.

I am actually not sure how old I was in the first photo but young enough to sit on Santa’s lap. I was 30 years old in the second photo.  It was taken at a Fourth of July party at a summer house I shared with friends in Sea Isle City.  It was during my party girl days. I had a wild side in those days; I was dancing for the Fourth of July birthday boy 😊 I had a good time and so did everyone around me. Thank God no videos exist 😂😂

Everything changed a few years ago when I got sick and had to change my life. I am here to tell you today everything does indeed happen for a reason. If I didn’t get sick a few years, I would not have withdrawn from the crowd I was hanging out with, I would not have changed the lifestyle I was living and I would not have gone on the spiritual journey in recent year that changed my life. Because all of that happened, I finally found authenticity in my life and opened myself back up all of my sensitives.

Once I embraced my sensitives again, my intuitive wisdom came back strong. So strong it was a bit overwhelming. I didn’t know how to control it. It’s been taking some time to learn how to manage my intuitive and empathetic abilities. It’s my blessing and my challenge. I will be writing more about this in future blogs.

This is the authentic version of Linda. My circle of friends is much smaller than it was but I am happier. I enjoy quiet time. I enjoy sitting with myself and listening to the wisdom my heart and soul wants to share with me. I don’t like small talk, chaos or unnecessary noise. I am finally at peace. I am grateful to be sensitive. I am happy I am empathic and caring. While I am introverted, I am a relater. What that means is I am good a forging relationships; that is because I am good with connecting with people one to one. Learning how to be sensitive in an insensitive world is my lesson being sensitive is my gift.

On another note, this Sunday finds me packing to go to DC for two days. It should be an easy trip. I have two meetings with my Program’s Sponsor. I am the presenter in my Monday afternoon’s meeting. My briefing was reviewed by Directors on Friday and is ready to go. On Tuesday afternoon, she invited me to join her in a Meet and Greet meeting with a DC based advocacy group. I wish that meeting was earlier in the day. I won’t get home until 7 or 8ish on Tuesday. Gratefully, my boss is cool with me teleworking on Wednesday. Wednesday is the same day as a local air show over the ocean. I will be able to see it from my window as I am working🙌🙌

On a spiritual note, I’ve been waking up at 11:11pm each night and seeing 11:11 or 1111 everywhere lately. It’s a lovely note of positive reassurance that everything is aligning just perfectly for me🦋🦋💙🙌

How’s Self Care Sunday going for you today?

ICYMI: I posted “Blue Love Poetry” on Thursday. Scroll down to my last post if you missed my latest poetry💙🔥😘

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Empath’s Survival Guide

Self Care Sunday – Hibernating

Wild Black Bear Yellowstone
This Self Care Sunday finds me a bit frustrated with my physical body. I’ve had this Sinus and Ear infection/congestion going on for two weeks. Today is my 6th day of antibiotic and probiotics. While it is not as painful and is finally breaking up, it is happening quite slowly. If it’s not gone by Tuesday, I have to go into the ENT’s office. Maybe he will be able to drain the ears. I am hoping I don’t end up on steroids.

Here’s where I am struggling. I felt like I was getting better on Friday and then felt worse yesterday. I am not sure what happened. I am feeling like I failed myself because my body is taking slow long to heal. I keep thinking over what did I do wrong that it got this bad. Why is my body struggling to fight this?

In a conversation with a “spiritual mentor/teacher” earlier this week, she suggested that I get sick so much because I carry/take on the energetic burdens of people I love by because I am a highly sensitive Empath with strong intuitive abilities. I can take on emotions, feelings and symptoms of others.  I feel for people. For example, I get sick so my Mom doesn’t. I energetic take it on to protect her.

My mentor explained I unconsciously take on these burdens because I am stronger spiritually than most people; my empathetic abilities allow me to tune into people and lift their burdens. This is why my former work environment was spiritually so bad for me. My current work environment is better or me. It’s quiet, removed, bigger and calmer. Also, when I am close to someone, they can feel energetically strong when I am around because I give them strength. This is a great gift. However, you have to learn how to manage it. The problem is I am not managing it correctly and it’s breaking down my body, especially my heart which is already weak from a congenital issue. I need to learn how to disconnect empathetically from people and allow them to carry their own burdens; whatever that means. This concept makes total sense to me but it’s heavy stuff. I appreciated her insight because I couldn’t see this myself. I am reading a bit on how to survive as an Empath and Intuitive. Obviously, I haven’t figured it out yet but I am starting with Heart Chakra mantra and balancing work.

This comes back to me thinking I can control everything. It’s my body, I’ve been taking care of myself. I should be able to control this a little, right? Well, I thought I could. It wasn’t until yesterday that I decided to completely surrender for the whole weekend. I am just staying home snuggled up under a blanket with a antibiotics, probiotics, Mucinex, Flonase, water and a tissue box. I am bit a bored but I am coughing and hacking stuff up. No one would want to be around me anyway. I have no business going anywhere today.

Yesterday I watched the new series “Yellowstone” with Kevin Costner. I love it. It’s based in Montana and depicts life there and tensions between White and Native Americans. Since I definitely want to travel out west and especially visit Montana, I like it. Since Kevin Costner is still HOT, I rewatch “Dancing with Wolves” last night.

I definitely feel a spirit bond/connection to Native American history and traditions. The way the White man took form them and killed them makes me sad and a bit nauseous when I think about it. I am going to back to DC overnight next week. If I have time, I would like to go back to the American Indian Museum again. I didn’t have time to finish the whole museum the last time I was there. I also got a bit emotional reading about the Cherokee Removal in the Trail of Tears exhibit. I couldn’t read anymore and left. While watching “Yellowstone” on OnDemand, I stumbled across “Yellowstone Live” on NatGeo Channel. Really an amazing series highlighting wildlife and geology of the park. There are four episodes. You can stream all four online. I’ve enjoyed that as well. I definitely want to go there when I travel out west. My observation is that people are stupid putting their lives in danger to get their social media photos; not to mention how they show a total lack of respect for wildlife by intruding into their habitat. Wildlife photographers remaining save a far distance is different than human having a total disregard for the well being of the animals and theirselves. Let’s face it. If some idiot put himself near a black bear and got attacked, the bear would be put down; not the stupid human.

Well, I am hibernating this Self Care Sunday. I am surrendering and giving my body space to heal. I am also reading on how to survive and take care of myself as an Empath. I really need to learn this like my life depends upon it – because it does…I am still planning to go to work tomorrow. For now, I am under a blanket with books, tissues and stuff to entertain me.

I hope you are taking care of yourself today.

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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NatGeo YellowStone LiveNatGeo YellowStone Live Streaming xfinity

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Self Care Sunday – Live In The Now

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Self Care can take on many different flavors depending on where we are in life and the circumstances we find ourselves in at the present moment.

As for right now, I am trying to embrace a spiritual approach to things while still having my feet firmly planted in practically and realism. Often new age spirituality of love, light and positivity can be odds with our true emotions. The key seems to be to acknowledge the heavy emotions, feel what you feel, while not letting yourself get pulled too far under. This is typically where I struggle. I often seem to either go full steam ahead and completely ignore any heavy feelings until I have some type of physical or emotion crash or I go so far down into my emotions that I struggle to pull myself out.

I suppose all of this is a reflection of how I live life – I am ALL OR NOTHING kind of girl. I am all in or I am all out. There is no grey to me. Grey to me isn’t authentic. Grey is keeping your options open. Grey is skimming the surface but not really feeling anything deep. From my perspective, grey is a half-hearted way to live. It’s non-committal and form of settling. Grey has no clarity to me. Typically I struggle when things are grey or lack clarity. I value clarity and authenticity in my life, in my relationships, in my career and in my body.

My recent health issues have had me squarely planted in the grey world of having no idea what’s happening in my body or how to fix it. In the early weeks of the Gastro symptoms, I was changing my diet, increasing medications, living on Gaviscon and getting relief. I tried stretching out in case it was muscular. I bought new bras in case the bands were putting pressure on the area. I was so busy trying to fix it that I was just wasn’t accepting it and loving this part of my body that was in pain. In reality, I was creating anxiety and stress for myself by trying so hard to fix it.

It wasn’t until this past week that I started to think differently about things. I had a few key conversations that helped me seeing from a different perspective. Most importantly, it was a conversation with a Nurse Practitioner at my Cardiologist office that gave me the most to contemplate.

My Cardiologist retired in June. This is the second Cardiologist that I’ve had in five years that retired. I decided to switch to the younger Cardiologist who is joining the practice September. Perhaps we will grow old together 🙂 Because I have congenital arrhythmia and have a cardiac history, I needed Cardiac Clearance to get Conscious Sedation during an Upper Endoscopy. The Nurse Practitioner was able to see me to do the assessment. The appointment went well. She did tell me they will give me clearance for Conscious Sedation which is used Endoscopies and Colonoscopies but she said I would need a Echo and Stress Test by my new Cardiologist for General Anesthesia. She also told me if I ever need General Anesthesia, a Cardiologist should be on standby. She advised me to add Cardiac Conditioning to my work outs. She thinks I am getting dizzy on the treadmill because I am losing Cardiac Conditioning. I need to start doing interval training with the incline while leaving the speed at 3.0. For example, I start walking for 2 minutes, then raise the incline to 7 for two minutes then lower the incline to zero for two minutes and repeat this cycle for 20 minutes working up to 30 minutes twice a week. This is in addition to strength training and power walking.

The technical part of the Cardiologist appointment was successful and went smoothly. However, we got into a conversation about my history and my arrhythmia. Here’s some background info…The arrhythmia wasn’t detected until I was 24 year old. I was in great physical shape. I was a runner and a gym rat in my mid-20s. A doctor heard a murmur during an exam and sent me to a Cardiologist for an EKG. It was on the EKG they saw Inverted T-Waves and Premature Ventricular contractions (PVCs). This can often indicate Ischemia or a heart attack. Some folks call PVCs skipped beats. In PVCs, the beat actually comes prematurely and there is a delay before the next beat. The Cardiologist did an Echocardiogram and a treadmill stress test. I passed both as he said “with flying colors” and it appeared my heartbeat regulated itself during exercise or when my heart rate goes up. That means it was functional and innocent. However, he cautioned me it would need to be monitored for the rest of my life because as I age it may cause me problems.

I told the Nurse Practitioner that I quit smoking and drinking, I lost 60 pounds, changed my lifestyle and diet. I then said my heart has been more stable since doing all of that but I have had a lot of tummy issues. As we were talking about Cardiac risk, she told me other than my congenital arrhythmia and family history, I didn’t have any risk. I am not diabetic. I don’t smoke or drink. My weight is ok and I am active. It was then she hesitated. She looked me in the eyes and said, “In your situation, a congenital issues and genetic issue, what’s wrong can’t be fixed. It can only be managed. You are doing everything you can do to help yourself. Other than adding Cardiac Conditioning, I don’t see anything more you could be doing. You know sometimes you can do everything right but a congenital or genetics issue still can get the best of you. I am not telling you this to scare you. I am saying this because I think you may be trying so so hard to do everything right that you are stressing yourself out, causing yourself anxiety and quiet possibly making yourself sick with worry.” My eyes welled up as she said it. I am trying very hard at everything. She then said, “You poor thing. I really feel for you. I want to make sure you know YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT! I think you need to cut yourself some slack and accept that there are some aspects of this you have no control over. It’s in God’s hands. Go Live life. Go out and live. Enjoy every moment and try to work toward acceptance that there are some things you have no control over.”

I’ve been thinking A LOT about that conversation. I’ve been thinking so much about it because she was 100% right. I just couldn’t see it. I have been stressing myself out trying to control things I can’t control; not just with my heart and stomach problems but in other aspects of my life too. I also been keeping myself busy so I couldn’t grieve for the loss of my best friend and also trying to fight the feeling that I may be losing BlueLove too. Nothing negative has happened between us. Seems like everything is fine. I just haven’t been able to see those beautiful eyes much. I’ve been keeping a distance because I can’t get a sense if I am wanted and welcomed. I worry about us but I know it’s best not to push with him. I will put it in God’s hands. If we are meant to deepen our connection, it will happen without me worrying about. I truly love him. That is my authentic truth.

Self Care often requires us to accept things as they are and live in present. To live in the present, we must not live in our past memories or plan the future so much that we don’t enjoy the now. I would liken it to folks who go to concerts and spend the whole concert recording it on their cell phone. They see the whole concert through the small screen of their cell phone to upload to Social Media and miss the 3D live experience of the now. Don’t view your life through the small screen of the past or future. I am working toward acceptance that some things are out of my control and to be present and live in the NOW. That is good self care.

(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Buddha quote

Self Care Sunday – Emotional Self Care

Self care sunday

This Self Care Sunday is complicated because I haven’t been feeling well. It’s taking a toll me is physically and emotionally. Here’s a recap of the current situation with my health before I get into how it is affecting me emotionally and what I’ve been doing to take care of myself through this crisis.

I have pain in the upper left quadrant of the my abdomen and flank area. It more of gnawing pain that it is sharp. The intensity varies day to day. My stomach is distended and I feel pressure; almost like the bloating is pushing everything out of place. I have Celiac Disease and have had flare-ups of Gastritis since late 2010. I’ve had this pain before and it went away by me increasing my stomach meds and watching what I ate. So when this started again about two weeks ago I assumed it was just a flare up. The problem is nothing I am doing is working. It’s getting worse instead of better and it’s wearing me out.

I went to the Gastroenterologist on Thursday. I am grateful to have found a good Gastro doc in the local area. He told me to double my dose on the medications but also said he wanted to do a CT Scan with Contrast before doing anything else. He will make a decision about any other tests after he gets those results. He doesn’t want to do a scope if he can see on the CT Scan what’s wrong.

I had the CT Scan yesterday. In the past, I’ve had that test with no negative after affects but yesterday I suffered all day. The barium and injection burned the hell out of my stomach under my left breast and in my left flank area. And I spent most of morning and early afternoon running to the bathroom followed my constant pain and bloating throughout the rest of the day. The funny thing was I am growing accustomed to being in pain and I wasn’t stressed out by it. I just went and sat by the pool all day and tried to keep myself calm until it settled down. It was feeling a little better by the time I went to bed.

As I was laying in bed this morning, I decided it may be time for me to give my belly a rest from digestion. I am sticking to Clear and Full liquids today including shakes, soups, jello, etc. I may actually do this for a few days to see if it helps. I should have the test results by Monday or Tuesday. I am hoping an answer is in there or everything just calms down on its own with increase meds and lighter diet.

These recent stomach issues are taking a toll on me emotionally. Mostly because I feel like I’ve done everything I can do to be well and I still am not well. Since 2010 my body has been under attack by itself. I stopped drinking alcohol, quit smoking, lost 65 pounds, completely changed my diet, changed my lifestyle, switched to organic everything, eliminated products with toxic chemicals and eliminated toxic relationships from my life.

Spiritually I am the best I’ve ever been. All of the changes I may led to increased personal power and confidence, better knowledge of self and a deeper love of myself and others. This struggle also opened my eyes to how folks with autoimmune diseases struggle everyday. It made me more compassionate and empathetic towards people with illnesses. It made me less afraid to be around people who are sick. It’s also made me less afraid to die. If it happens, I will know I went out swinging and lived my life to my highest good.

How am I dealing with this emotionally? Well, I’ve had the same therapist for five years which means she knows me well. She has also been through five years of constant health problems with me. I saw her on Thursday night. It was helpful talking to her. I don’t see her to vent. I see her for help getting clarity when I feel things are ambiguous. I told her if I was ever diagnosed with Cancer, I would decline treatment. I told her that I am tapped out after the last eight years of fighting. She said, “It really has been too much. I get why you are saying that; I understand why you are tired. For now, let’s focus on how we get you through this event. How do we refocus you on what’s good in your life? How do we celebrate your successes? How do we help you see even though your body has been breaking down you have been rising growing into a beautiful strong confident compassionate loving woman. You may be struggling to keep your head above water but you are also succeeding in life. You are the best I ever seen you Linda. I mean that.”💙🦋

My therapist and I talked about relationships. She giggled when I told her two men from my past came back into my life in the same week. She said God was testing me. He was asking me if I learned those lessons. She was happy to hear I declined both, moved on and nailed those fucking doors shut for good😂

I reflected on that conversation about relationships and I learned something about myself. I am not lonely. I am not desperate for a companionship. I am also not willing to give my energy to anyone or anything that isn’t good for me. Companionship and sex aren’t worth compromising my spiritual energy. I won’t be in a relationship with anyone that lacks authenticity. If I am with a man and having sex with him, it will be because I love, respect him and feel good emotional when I am with him. As far as other relationships, I have family who loves me. I have close friends who care about me and will always be there for me. I have a small, close, tight circle and that is all I need. It’s all I need because those relationships are authentic and meaningful. It’s all I need because the people I surround myself with are good for me; I feel good with them. While I may spend too much time alone, I am not lonely. I am authentic and that is more important to me than having people around me all the time.

I guess all I can say is I am taking things one day at time. I am keeping my head above water by not over thinking things. I am focusing on what is good in my life. I am honoring my progress instead of focusing on my struggle. I am using coping skills I learned through Cognitive Therapy. For me self care includes regular visits with a licensed therapist. If you are struggling, please consider finding a licensed therapist to help you gain clarity. I should mention that I met with four different therapist before I found one that I clicked with. I’ve been seeing my current therapist for five years.

Finding the right therapist can take time but it’s obviously been very beneficial for me. Your Family Doctor or Insurance company should be able to refer you to licensed therapist in your area. If you do not have insurance, many therapist work on sliding scales and offer pro bono services. If you are considering suicide, consider visiting a the below website for assistance.

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Suicide prevention

Butterfly

Self Care Sunday – Self Care Isn’t Always Pretty

Self Care Sunday

It’s Self Care Sunday. I hesitated in writing this post. I usually like to write positive posts that are reflections of how to take care of your body, mind and spirit for holistic wellness. However, today I feel like a failure. I am just not sure what is the best way to take care of myself.

After thinking about it, I decided to write this post in complete honesty and share what is actually happening to me today. Hoping to show that self care isn’t always fun or pretty. Make choices about self care can be stressful. Just because I went to school to be an Integrative Nutrition Health Coach doesn’t mean I have all the answers. Nor does it mean that I am perfect and always make the right choices. So here’s what’s happening…

I have a congenital heart arrhythmia that has been stabilized for seven years because I quit smoking, lost 65lbs, started exercising and stopped drinking alcohol. My EKG is UGLY. It looks like I’ve had heart attacks on my EKG. However, it hasn’t changed since 2011 which means it is stable. I am proud of myself for making hard choices and changes to make my heart stronger. I tell you this background information about my heart because it is related to what has been happening to me lately.

I’ve had gastrointestinal problems my entire life. I had Liver damage after a bad bout of Mono when I was 21 years old. I didn’t drink alcohol for six months just after turning 21 because of the Liver issues. I had my Gallbladder removed when I was 30. I flat lined under anesthesia during that surgery; I was brought back. I ended up in the hospital for four days when I was supposed to only be there for only six hours. Since that event I need Cardiac Clearance for any procedure that requires that sedation. This is playing into my current issue.

After having continued gastrointestinal issues, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease in 2012. At that time I had substantial damage to my stomach and Liver again. My Liver completely healed and is healthy. However, I now have a chronic form of Gastritis. It flares up when I do not watch my diet, when I am exposed to Gluten or when I am extremely stressed out. The Gastritis was stabilized for three years. I had only minor flare-ups that lasted only 3 or four days. I was able to get them under control quickly. Unfortunately, in April of this past year my best friend died while I was stuck in boot with a broken foot. This also happened while I was only two months into a new job and getting ready to graduate from school. The stress got the best of me. I also know for a fact I ate Gluten by accident. Anyways, I had a pretty severe Gastritis flare-up from the end of April through mid-May. My doctor told me we could hold off on the scope but I would need to have the Upper Endoscopy if it flared-up again.

I was feeling pretty good for a few weeks. Until early last week when the gnawing pain returned. I also had to go on a road trip to Hampton, VA for work. Although I had stomach pain, I went on the trip anyway since I knew it was probably just a Gastritis flare-up. I probably could have gotten out of the trip but I went anyway. The trip was good. It was very successful. My travel companions were really nice. Work-wise it was great experience. I am glad I pushed through it and went. My team is planning on going back in late September. I am pretty sure I am skipping that road trip. The faculty of the school we visited will be at the same conference I am attending in DC in mid-September. I can meet with them independently there. There is no reason for me to go back to Hampton for the technical interchanges. I’ll leave that to my PhD coworkers.

So, here I am doing everything I know to do to get this flare under control and it is not getting any better. It seems to be getting worse. I called my doctor on Thursday morning before leaving for Hampton. He told me I needed the scope and I needed new Cardiac Clearance before he did it. I called my Cardiologist office and found out my Cardiologist retired in June 😱 I technically do not have a Cardiologist and none of his colleagues will give me clearance for the scope without a full Cardiac workup. Actually, I am not upset about that. It’s safer for me that way. Since the pain and Gastritis is centered around my left breast, we need to be 100% sure it isn’t heart related. I really do not believe it is Cardiac related. My symptoms are pretty typical of a Gastritis flare-up. I am not really even drinking coffee. Now, you now my tummy is bothering me if I can’t drink more than 8oz of coffee. The full Cardiac workup just delays the Upper Endoscopy by two or three weeks because the new Cardiologist couldn’t fit me in until July 20th!

So, here I am very symptomatic, in pain, and I am supposed to take a small plane to DC for a 45 minute meeting tomorrow with my Sponsor at 3pm in the afternoon. I WANT to go! I was looking forward to going to this meeting! I am enjoying this job and this new role. I like the work I am doing. I am learning from my Program’s Sponsor. I like her. I want to go on the one day trip. However, I am not sure my body is 100% up to it. Do I push through the pain, get on the plane and hope for the best? Or do I give in – call and tell them I am not feeling well, I don’t feel comfortable flying and request to call into the meeting instead? I asked my Mom this question morning. She said, “I can’t answer that for you honey but I can say you already know what is the best thing for you to do. You just don’t want to surrender to it because you always push yourself though stuff.” She’s right. I don’t want to surrender to my fucking body again. Give up something I want to do because my body isn’t up to it – again. It’s so fucking frustrating. I try so hard to be well.

My new Group Manager is already aware of my health issues and offered to accommodate me however needed. He said I am doing such a great job even with my health issues that I should not worry about asking for accommodations. I am pretty sure my Sponsor would understand that I am not feeling well and can’t fly. Especially considering I always say “YES” to every other request and opportunity. The pressure I am feeling is coming from within myself because I am so fucking frustrated with my body and these health issues. Every time I take a step forward, it pulls me back. It’s really disheartening. Honestly, I would never take my own life but I am very weary of having to fight this hard for wellness. I just don’t even care anymore. I really don’t and I am not even sure why I am fighting so hard for this life anymore.

So there you have it. A Self Care Sunday post that is depressing and filled with stress and frustration. I am admitting that everything I am doing to take care of myself isn’t working right now while I am sitting here trying to make a decision about tomorrow. Another Sunday ruined by my traitor body. I am letting myself be sad today. I will mostly likely be sending an email as soon as I wake up tomorrow stating that I could not get on the plane. As I told you, Self Care isn’t always fun or pretty; sometimes it is down right frustrating.

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Self Care Sunday – Looking Out For Yourself And Others

Art

It’s Self Care Sunday. How have you taken care of yourself this week? Have you moved your body physically and made it stronger? Have you enforced and maintained boundaries in your relationships? Have you protected your spiritual alignment by choosing to be with folks who are good for you? Have you taken advantage of opportunities in your career to set yourself up for future? Or did you slow down and allow yourself a day to rest your body and mind? I did all of these things this week.

God proved to me this morning he puts you exactly where you need to be. It’s up to us to be awareness and alignment so we can see when he is asking us to take action. I was walking early this morning. I walked a different route than I normally do today when a frantic elderly Indian woman came up to me. She was sweating, panicked, holding an umbrella and her purse. She handed me her cell phone and phone book. I couldn’t understand much of what she was saying but I could tell she wanted me to talk to someone on the phone. After hesitating for a moment, I took the phone and said hello. The guy on the other end told me she got lost because she got of the Jitney bus at the wrong street. He asked me to point her in the direction of his home which was about three blocks from where we were. She was panicked. It’s really hot today and I was bit worried about her. After I hung up, I decided to turn around and walk her to her at least to the street her Son lived on. When she saw his house, she must have said thank you to me over a hundred times. Honestly, I couldn’t understand anything else she was saying to me. She hugged me and was smiling ear to ear. The amount of relief, happiness and peace I could see in her face made it totally worth me turning around and escorting her so she didn’t get lost again. I am sharing this story just to encourage folks to look out for each other. Use your instincts and intuition. You don’t always need to understand someone’s words to know when they are in distress. After doing a quick assessment of the situation, I trusted my intuition and knew God was asking me to her. I said, “YES”!

I had my last PT appointment on my SI Joint, IT Band and foot earlier this week. The therapist and I agreed it is not healed yet. I am not ready for yoga yet. However, my work schedule and travel schedule has my calendar screwed up. My therapist worked my leg pretty hard and gave me the home exercises to do in the gym. I am trying this for a month to see if I can strengthen it on my own. With that said, I don’t usually go to the gym on Sundays. Since I was down for the count Friday night and Saturday with a migraine, I went to the gym today and walked three miles today to get back on schedule. I am committed to getting back to yoga and making my body stronger. On another note, I wore my highest high heels for the first time since rolling my ankle & breaking my foot. It was time to get back on the horse and wear high heels again😊I wore high platform sandals. I will say I was a little nervous & extremely careful 😂 I was ok👍

In recent weeks, two men from my past have been in my experience. One has been trying to re-establish contact and I ran into the other one at the grocery store; I completely ignored him. I am writing about this here just in case either one of them (older or younger guy) is reading my blog. I want to make things crystal clear without having any direct contact with either one of them. There is nothing here for either one of them. NOTHING! I am not interested in reengaging with either one of them and I have no feelings for either one of them. Let’s just leave things in the past where they belong. Those relationships were not good for me back then and I am not interested in revisiting them now. I wish both men well. I have no hard feelings. The point of me writing this is to say I actually have no feelings – at all – for either one. Again, I am only putting this on my blog in this post just in case one of them, younger or older guy) is reading my blog. The Blue Love poetry collection is not written for either one of them. Neither one of them is the inspiration for my poetry. It’s really that simple. Blue Love is a man who is good for me. My connection with him is healthy. He’s taught me how a man should treat a woman. While he desires me, he also respects me. Whatever happens in our future, he helped me grow. He helped me see I deserve better than what I accepted in the past. So, I am enforcing boundaries and not allowing men from my past who were not good for me to return into my life. Once again, I am thankful to Blue Love for looking at me with the beautiful blue eyes of love and helping me to know I deserve better. Thank You Blue Love.

I woke up at 2:00am on Friday morning with a migraine. When I get migraines, they usually start in the middle of night. I have medication. I usually get up, take the meds and go back to bed for a couple of hours. Usually by the time I wake up, it’s gone. This one wasn’t. While I was functional on Friday, I was still in pain. I came home around 4pm and gave into the headache. I knew it was going to take a few cycles of meds for it to go away. I pulled the shades, curled up in bed, watched tv and slept most of Saturday. The headache was gone when I woke up this morning. I think the headaches are prompted by jaw tightness and TMJ. My jaw was popping a lot last week and I was eating chewy stuff more than I should. Instead of pushing through it, I surrendered yesterday and rested. I allowed my mind and body to slow down. I took care of myself.

Sometimes self care is more tactical; it’s about actually physically taking care of yourself. Other times it’s more about enforcing boundaries. For me, it’s also been about learning I deserve better than I what I accepted and expected in the past. I am happy where I am now. I am happy with how I have grown and woman I have become in recent years. Folks who knew me seven, ten or fifteen years ago, really don’t know me at all anymore.  I am also eagerly looking forward to more – so much more in the future. I am looking forward to surrounding myself with people who are good for me like Blue Love. I am thankful and grateful for all of my blessings. I am happy for the love in my heart and good the people kind souls who are in my life.  I am happy and grateful.
(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

ICYMI My last post was Blue Love Haiku #12

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Self Care Sunday – The Emperor Of My Heart

It’s Sunday; that means I am writing about Self Care. Self Care today has taken on a physical and spiritual flavor.

Physically, I am feeling good. My broken foot is almost healed. It still gets sore but overall it’s pretty much better. Unfortunately, the foot issue affected my right SI Joint and IT Band because I was walking uneven. Even with weeks of PT and Chicropratic Adjustments, I’m still experiencing daily pain and tightness in both of those areas. Strength training in the gym is helping but it may a chronic issue. Often as we get older we have aches and pains that never really go away; we just learn how to adapt and live with pain.

As I am getting older, I am learning the importance of keeping active and moving through pain most of the time. There are some days when it is appropriate to take a complete and total rest day. However, I find I feel better with some movement on most days. Staying active is self care for me. I went to the gym on Friday and walked five miles. On Saturday, I walked five miles and toured some the 48 Blocks Art installations in Atlantic City. I enjoyed both days. This is my third day off. I woke up more tired than usual and sore. I pushed through it and walked a slow three miles. As I was approaching the end of my walk, I realized my SI Joint and IT bands just weren’t loosening up which meant it was time to slow down for rest and recovery. After being social most of Friday and Saturday, I am not really up for socializing today either. It’s only 11:00am on Sunday morning. I am sitting in my new Espresso leather recliner writing this blog contemplating if I have the energy to go to the pool or beach today. I’m tuning into my body’s inner wisdom to direct my level of activity today. As of right now, it feels like it will a quiet rest and recovery day.

My spiritual self care today is focused more on protection of my life force and energy. I am feeling really good lately. I am operating on the highest level I ever have in my entire life professionally and personally. I am balanced and grounded. I feel peaceful and happy. I’ve chosen to surround myself with folks who are also operating on a level equal to mine or higher. I committed myself to working and living to my highest potential and finding my highest good. That means I need folks in my life who can push me and motivate me to reach for more and be my best. I enjoy being with folks who challenge me to rise up and reach for more within myself. I am not slowing down or going back to who I was.

Unfortunately, I can not allow some folks from my past to re-enter my life. I need to be especially vigilant in not revisiting any relationship that was unhealthy in the past. No hard feelings. I wish folks well and hope they find happiness but I can say for sure it won’t be with me. If they weren’t good for me ten years ago, my intuition is telling me they still would not be good for me now. This is good self care for me.

Life isn’t always roses and unicorns. Life has pressures, challenges and frustrations. I find the pressure, challenges and frustrations easier to deal with now because I am better at protecting my spiritual energy. I am better at making sure I am not giving too much to others. I am better at recognizing folks whose spiritual energy isn’t a match to my own. I am better aligned holistically – mind, body and spirit. I am focused on using my natural skills and abilities to spurn growth in all areas of my life. I want to joyfully pursue my highest good with people who have true honest intentions towards me and are good for me.

As I was walking in nature this morning, I was praying and tuning into my own intuition for direction and guidance. My thoughts kept returning to Blue Love. His intentions towards me are genuine and pure. His energy is balanced and healthy. Our connection is healthy and good for both of us. Wherever it goes, whatever happens between us, no matter how things play out for us – we have been good for each other. That’s what a true Soul Mate does for you. They make you better and help you grow. Having folks in my life like him is good self care for me.

I wrote this poem for Blue Love a while ago. It was on my mind today as I was walking. He is still the Emperor of my heart.

The Emperor ~ Love, Sex And Poetry
By: Linda A. Long

Who is he
Who is the
Man
The Emperor
Who is this
Man
In your
Atmosphere
The man
Who walks
With you
You wear
His essence
Like perfume
And hold
His heart
In your hands
Gingerly
Knowing
With your
Heart’s Intuition
This strong man
Has a soft
Gentle soul
Who is
The Emperor
Is he
Your King
Your partner
Your lover
The leader
Of your world
This man
This man
Who’s energy
Whirls around your
Atmosphere
Taking his place
Next to you
Demanding
To be heard
In your mind’s eye
Who is this
Formidable man
You like
His fire
You crave
His fire
The fire in his belly
Lights your match
His heart beats
In yours
Who is
The Emperor
Of your world
Matching your
Passion
You crave
His energy
His kiss
Drips off of
Your lips
In anticipation
Of his possession
He is the ruler
Of your heart
Just as you
Are the fire
In his soul
You burn
In his
Atmosphere
The Goddess
In you
Is his strength
You honor
Him with
Words of love and devotion
You inspire
Him with desire
You nurture him with
True
Real
Beautiful
Love
That is
Here
To stay
In both
Of your lives
Who is
The Emperor
Of your heart
Have faith
In this
Formidable man
Have faith
In your bond
Trust what
You see
Believe what
You sense
Until the Emperor
Is laying beside you
Have faith
And stand true
As his
Goddess
Of love
(C) 2018 Linda A. Long – All Rights Reserved – Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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