Self Care Sunday – Burnout and Boundaries

Burnout quoteHave you ever experienced professional burn out? I experienced it in the Fall of 2017. It crept up over time as coworkes and leadership kept crossing my boundaries. I was over-tasked while others were under tasked. I started calling out sick more. I started having health issues and ended up taking almost two weeks off from work too. I eventually made the decision that I needed a full completed stop. I needed a break from the Organization I was working in and I took a one-year temporary assignment to give myself some distance. But it wasn’t the first time I burned out. It’s happened numerous times in my past. I seem to go 100mph. I don’t often see the wall before crashing into it.

Crashing into a wall meme

Here’a little background information on me… I have a wide skill set. I am high performer and a high energy girl. When I am performing optimally, I am a dynamo.  I’m not boasting; just stating facts.  I can take a lot on. I can get a lot done but I also had no boundaries in the past.  Whatever I was asked to do, I did. I often did more than I was asked to do. I did more than anyone was asked to do. The problem with operating like this in the workplace is that you condition managers and colleagues to expect this level of performance from you all the time. It’s hard to break that pattern once you established it and made it your norm.

I recall a few years ago, I had a boss who would often remind me when something wasn’t mine to worry about. He would caution me to stay in my lane.  But I continued to take on too much and worry about things that really weren’t mine to worry about.  He saw what I could not see myself. He often told me to knock it off even though his subordinates were encouraging it. When he was promoted, I lost that external checkpoint and I also did not know how to do it for myself at that time.

Perhaps I didn’t want to admit that I wanted to be a superstar. Maybe I got some sort of validation and approval in being a super woman. Perhaps my ego got a trophy by being a superstar employee who could do anything – all while risking my physical, emotional and spiritual health. Maybe I was a martyr or perhaps felt I was important and indispensable. My self-awareness back then wasn’t evolved to the point that I understood my motives for that behavior.

Self awareness quote

After spending a year studying to be a Board Certified Holistic Health Practitioner, I can now see the danger of my habit. It’s taken some self-awareness to see this in myself and commit to changing it for my long term wellness. I finally learned how to set boundaries and take care of myself. I finally learned to set limits on how much I am willing to give. But let’s remember – boundaries are meaningless unless you enforce them.

I started a new job on April 1st in the same group that burned me out in the past. It was hard choice to return there. But ultimately I knew I changed. I am not the same employee who left 15 months ago. I now know how to take care of myself. Trust me, there’s lots opportunity for me to go above and beyond on this high profile yet struggling team. Just the perfect situation for me to drive 100mph into the wall 😂😂 The only difference now is – I see the danger this time. I see the wall this time. I know the danger of being everyone’s “go to” for everything. It’s not happening this time around! Nope! Not again! Earlier this week I caught myself dropping into my old habit and I stopped myself. I reminded myself to “STAY IN MY LANE”. I logically brought myself back to center and remembered the task wasn’t my responsibility. So I did what I could do to help and then backed off. If it dropped, it dropped. “Let it happen” was in my head. Yes, this time around – it was clear to all involved – I am staying in my lane and everyone will need to adjust. I will need to check-in with myself on a daily basis to ensure I am enforcing my boundaries. In the three weeks I’ve been back, six people have said the same thing to me, “That team needs someone like you!” 😂 I take that as a compliment but it is also my challenge to be sure I exercise self care and maintain my boundaries.

Boundaries

On Thursday, I had a long conversation with a frustrated team member who was considering other options. My observation was he’s close to burnout so I offered to listen to him. Once I popped the top off, he really opened up. He told me his daughter was born a year ago. He was working from the hospital room 10 minutes after she was born. Well, you know I pulled on that thread. I asked him, “Why did you feel you needed to do that? Knowing your managers I do not think they would have expected that of you. So, what’s your why?” Well, the conversation went on for over an hour. By the end of it, I found out he really doesn’t want to leave but he is getting drained. He feels the bar is higher for him, also a high performer, than it is for other employees. He wants a performance plan that has a path to career progression instead of him being stuck in a position as a “go to” just because he’s good at it. When will folks realize smart people are good at many types of work but it doesn’t mean they enjoy it 😉 Wow, talking to him was like talking to myself 😂 We are very much a like😂 By the end of the meeting my new teammate and I decided to have regular check-in meetings with each other. We are more or less going to be accountability partners to ensure we are both staying in our lanes and not taking on too much. I never told him that I am certified coach. Maybe I should start coaching the whole team – Um, stay in your lane, Linda!😂

My coworker did share with me that he felt UNDERVALUED by managers. He was supposed to meet with three managers to discuss his concerns and only one showed up. (That has since been corrected; He’s had conversations this week). He’s had four bosses in two years because of the managerial shuffles; it doesn’t give him confidence in the strategic planning abilities of leadership. I said, “I bet it doesn’t” 😂 This group of managers especially are really good at talking without ever following up with action. #TRUTH! I especially don’t resonate with the energy around the senior management team. I like and respect my team’s senior manager and our front line manager but I am going to keep my distance from the larger group as much as possible. I am staying in my lane! I will only interact with them, when required.

Listening

Here’s my observation about leadership… Human Relations events, ice cream socials and award ceremonies, are just perceived as photo-ops for management unless they are followed up with real authentic conversations with employees. Managers haven’t realized giving an employee 30 minutes of their time and listening attentively is just as important as any management meeting. Employees are stakeholders too! Stakeholder Engagement should include having real authentic conversations with employees; not just posing in fake (staged) photo-ops with them. I can’t seem to get the point across to them that authentic listening is a learned skills that managers should cultivate if they want to truly connect with their employees. Genuinely caring and showing you value the employee as a person is leading from the heart…People resonant with authenticity.

Lead from the heart

Three weeks into a new job on a high profile yet struggling team and so far I like it. I am enjoying the work. All in all this is a good opportunity for me. I can really do some good on this team but, yes, I do still have another offer hanging out there indefinitely. All I have to do it make a phone call. As of right now, I am not pursuing it. It’s still nice to know I have an exit ramp if I need it 😉 😂As I am observing how this team interacts, I am seeing strategic opportunities to improve processes and communications on the team. But honestly, one of the biggest problems the team has is internal communications between team members with different styles and personalities. One key employee has a communication style and responsive issue that is challenging for the rest of the team. However, I am keeping that observation to myself for now. I don’t need to put anyone under the bus in my first month 😂 I think they need more strategic team building exercises and “coaching” along with technical telecoms…Like start a telcon with “Tell me the biggest challenge you are having on this task? What’s keeping you up this week? Can I help?”

ACTION – Reflect on boundaries and leading from the heart 💙

Boundaries are an essential tool in managing holistic wellness. Learning how to set them and enforce them is a skill that will make you strong and resilient. Folks who were used to taking advantage of you, might get pissed off at first. They will adjust. What boundaries have you set for yourself personally and professionally? Have you been enforcing them?

If you are a leader, can you choose to lead from your heart? Perhaps consider starting your next telecom with heartfelt questions instead of diving into your tactical agenda. Give folks an opportunity to speak and be heard FIRST. Giving folks a forum to express their biggest worry or fear and asking if there’s anything you can do to help shows them you are putting them first. Head’s up – the first time you do this, folks may be hesitant to share. You have to make sure they understand it’s a safe room. As for me, I would be suspicious of folks whitewashing and saying everything is “great” all the time. Well, if it’s all so great, what are you doing all day? 😂

If you want to keep employees, you need to show them authentically they are valued and you care about more than just their productivity as a resources. I would rather have an authentic leader who has true authentic human interactions with employees than receive awards or eat ice cream that only give managers photo-ops to show their bosses.

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
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DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – Decisions and Adjustments

My self care is my responsibility. With this in mind, I decided to do a formal check-in on my own holistic wellness this week. In other words, I did few exercises to look at my overall holistic health. I identifed two areas I need to refocus myself and make decisions and adjustments.

First, the work/career area of my life needed to be reset. After taking a step back, I realized the professional limbo and uncertainty I’ve been in my career has been bleeding negativity and inaction into other areas of my life. It all started when I got myself stuck in limbo about six weeks ago after I made a decision but was asked to give them a little bit of time to fix things or work things out. Well, six weeks later there still isn’t clarity and it is now a political hot potato going between managers. I took the opportunity to pull the escape hatch this week. I put an end to my involvement in it. I also noticed I am starting to lose my patience with the situation so I needed to find an exit ramp so I don’t lose my temper inappropriately. I also feel like I have received everything I need from this experience and that is why things have become sticky and frustrating for me. In other words…It’s time to open to other opportunities and let go. It’s scary but it’s time to take a deep breathe and jump 🙏🤞😂

Decisions

Staying in professional limbo was killing my motivation. I am a do-er. Being paralyze hasn’t been good for my emotional well-being the last month and the anxiety was starting to make me depressed and sick. When given the opportunity to step out, I took it. I am returning to old group on April 1st. I have a meeting set up at the end of the week to discuss my new responsibilities. It felt good to take my power back and let go of a situation that was stressing me out. While I am a bit sad, it became clear to me that it was costing me too much to try and working things out. It was time to choose again. I chose again. The bottom line is it was starting to be too hard…it should not be this hard.

Law of attraction

When I get stressed out, sad or anxious, my diet is always the first to suffer😌I hit the sugar and carbs hard ☺️ 😂I start to rely on my comfort foods. Since the beginning of the year, sugar, dairy and carbs have sneaked back into daily meals and have edged out the protein and veggies.

Cheat day meme

I was suspecting that not getting enough protein was actually the source of my muscle and joint pains recently so I used a food diary, www.myfitnesspal.com, to track my food for a month. I realized that I am getting about 20 to 30 grams below the amount of protein I need every day and most of my calories were coming from carbs and dairy. Instead of making any big sweeping dietary changes, I am just going to focus on eating more protein such as Chicken Breasts, Hard Boiled Eggs, Jerky, Protein Shakes, etc. (see below for examples of good sources of protein). Eating more protein will automatically crowd out the calories from the carbs and dairy. Spiritually, Protein is a grounding food and helps to root us energetically. I’ve been feeling like maybe my Root Chakra was a little unstable lately so grounding will help that too.

Protein quotes

ACTION
The action this week is to check-in with your diet. Our dietary needs change as we age. Are you getting the nutrients your body needs?

A quick way to figure out how much protein you should be eating is to multiply your weight by .36. If you would like to see how much of each nutrient you need each day, you can use a food tracker app like www.myfitnesspal.com. It automatically tells you how much you need based upon your height and weight. Another resource is the USDA DRI Calculator for Healthcare Professionals located at https://fnic.nal.usda.gov/fnic/dri-calculator/index.php. The below screen shot is also linked to the site. You just put your information in the form and it will tell you what you need.

DRI Calculator

Sources of protein

Meatless sources of protein

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
img_0819

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – Equanimity

Equanimity

This Self Care Sunday I’ve taken a step back to evaluate why I have been feeling extremely fatigued in recent weeks. This brought me straight to a lesson about Equanimity.

Equanimity is defined as being calm and even tempered. Spiritually it translates into having both mental calmness and clarity and being able to find happiness regardless of circumstance or situation.

Equanimity

I’ve surrendered to my body’s need for rest. I’ve been extremely fatigued lately. It seems like when I am not working, I am resting and sleeping 😴 😂It’s getting old! 😂I’ve always needed a lot of sleep but I am feeling a bit more fatigued than usual in recent weeks.

Well, one reason I am feeling fatigue is due to stress. I’ve been in a stressful situation at work. I’ve been caught in the middle of office politics. While I was handling this pretty good for a few weeks, it has gone on too long. The professional limbo and uncertainty is causing me nothing but anxiety now. It’s making me tired 😴

Another reason I am so exhausted lately is age related. My body is in transition. I haven’t come out the other side of Menopause yet so I am on the hormonal roller coaster. I will be turning 52 on Thursday and I am starting to feel 52 in some ways. I’ve always needed more rest than others so I am trying to be patient and surrender as my body tries to find homeostasis. To be on the safe side, I made all of my annual doctor appointments for the next month just to double check my blood work. However, I am betting it is just stress and the dreaded “change” wearing me out 😴😂

When I left work on Thursday, I felt like a head cold was trying to get a hold on me and on Friday morning I hurt my arm while doing lateral extensions with dumbbells. (OUCH)🤬 This means my body needs me to slow down to heal. I’ve been focusing on getting extra rest and sleep to kill of the impending head cold while I’ve been icing my shoulder. Perhaps it’s ok for me to sleep all day today😴I am not depressed or unhappy just tired and sore and binge watching “Veep” because it’s light and funny 😆 At this moment, equanimity begins with me maintaining a calm mind to help my body release and heal.

Equanimity

Truthfully, I am in such a state of surrender to my body’s need for rest and sleep, I would cancel all of my plans and stay home If I felt like that was the best thing for me to do. It really doesn’t matter. I am not attached one way or another. I just want to do what is best for my body. Actually, this is a great place to be. This is called Equamitity and I’ve spent my entire adult life hoping to achieve this awareness.

Equanimity

ACTION

Can you reflect on Equanimity? Perhaps google it and read up on it a bit. Perhaps see where in your life you can embrace it and embody it? Can you practice non-attachment and find peace regardless of the situations or outcomes?

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved
img_0819

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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What’s My WHY

What’s My Why

As I sit in professional limbo, I know one thing is for sure…I refuse to make an ego-based or an emotional decision✊

The ego and emotions have no place in making a strategic decision that will affect my career in the long term. My ego would jump at a promotion as a trophy while my emotions would pull me back to my old group/job because they feel like home. The key is for me to practice non-attachment to any outcome as I explore options and let things play out a little bit longer. I just need to steady my nerves to do this 😂 Whatever is for my highest good will rise up in my soul once I detach my emotions and ego from decision making process. Everything is always working out for my highest good even if it works out differently than I expected.

Every conversation I’ve had about this just muddied the water for me even more. I was getting myself confused because I never been one to follow external guidance. I now trust my own inner guidance system more for decisions that affect my life. I was in information and emotional overload which was making the choice more complicated.

Feeling conflicted and confused, I jumped into a hot shower last night. As the hot water pounded on my tight neck & shoulder muscles, I asked myself “What’s My WHY?”

My WHY is GROWTH. Growth is my word! I want potential for long term diversified growth opportunities in my future. This decision isn’t just about what I want to do today; it’s about how I want to position myself for long term growth in the future. Getting back to my WHY cleared up all the confusion and uncertainity I was having. The choice became clear! By the end of the night, I was relaxed and felt like the heaviness lifted.

What’s your why

For now, I need to see how the ball I put into motion plays out first; they advised I they should have a decision within two weeks (if not sooner). There are variables at play and I still feel I did the right thing. I just need to wait and see how it plays out. I also have a preferred contingency plan in place. If that goes sideways too, I still have a job to go back to 😂 It’s all good! I am ok with whatever happens because I know I lived and acted in alignment with my truth and I did what is right for the program I am representing. Wherever I end up, is where I am meant to be 😊

Every choice, every decision has a lesson in it. This one is teaching me patience. It’s also teaching me to TRUST to my intuition and use strategic thinking to evaluate choices instead of my ego. I can’t be reactive and emotional with this decision.

After all of that, I slept great last night and had a visitation dream from my deceased sister. She always comes in my dreams when I need reassurance and comfort😇✌️

If you need to make a big decision in your life, try using strategic logic to help you make the decision. Sit with yourself long enough to observe if your ego or emotions are driving your decisions. Can you practice non-attachment? Can you consider strategically aligning your choice with what you want in the future rather than reacting to the demands of your ego or attachments of your emotions? Seems to be working for me 😊✨

PS: I am feeling like a Blue Love Poem is brewing… Stop back Friday for a Blue Love note💙😊✨

Strategy

As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…

Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

(C) 2019 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – I Know The Way Out

Art tree

In 2011 I walked away from a life, a lifestyle, circle of friends that had a toxic hold over me. It was one of the most stressful times of my life because I was constantly attacked for being different from them and for not conforming to their ideologies. I was under constant pressure to fall in line to the “Group Think”. I was a round peg hanging around with square pegs trying to put myself into square holes with them. Living in that toxic energy everyday where the people surrounding me where trying to keep me small, almost destroyed me and actually made sick…very sick.

Eight years later and after surviving that hard transition I am in a wonderful place in my life. That hard transition led to wonderful inward journey and sparked many positive changes in my life, I am thriving. I am free from the manipulation. My self confidence is back. I am now standing in my authentic my personal power.

As I look back, I can see God wanted me to let go of that life for a long time. God had bigger plans for me than I had for myself…but I kept holding on. I kept holding on because I was afraid of the unknown and perhaps I was a bit gun shy because other changes I made didn’t work out the way I thought they would. The tighter I held on, the worst it got. Then God brought me to my knees in burnout, depression and illness.

Dear Universe

When God forced me to my knees, I finally learned to stayed there a while and rest. I didn’t rally. I didn’t force myself to get back up. I didn’t play nice. I withdrew and checked-in with myself. I prayed and evaluated my options. After taking some time to strategize things, I made a big move…I changed my life, I changed my lifestyle and removed myself from that social circle. It wasn’t an easy time of my life but going through that struggle made me stronger for everything else than has come after it.

It’s been my experience any time God wanted me to make a big change in my life, he made me as uncomfortable as possible. He broke me until I surrendered into the flow of the Universe. He broke me until I trusted him to show me the new path.

Trust me…Not walking away sooner almost killed me and certainly broke my spirit. But the question is… why was I fighting to stay somewhere I was no longer meant to be and possibly no longer truly wanted? Why was I allowing myself to be beaten down? The truth is…I was so stuck in the middle of the storm I couldn’t see I was in a storm. I couldn’t find a way out. It was like being in the middle of hurricane. You think you are ok as long as you don’t venture to far either way but each day I became smaller and part of the fire of my spirit slipped away. I couldn’t believe something better was out there for me because my self confidence was shattered and the judgment of others had me doubting my every move. I allowed the perceptions of the small minded people around me to become my truth. I allowed the “fight” and the victimization to become my story.

I can’t tell you how I finally broke the cycle. I am not sure what rose up in me to finally fight for myself. I don’t know the exact moment I chose myself but I do know…My life is dramatically different and better because I surrendered. I am better because I finally let go. I am better because I made a new life and chose a new path for myself.

This topic has been on my mind the last few days. The current situation I find myself in work is challenging but I am NOT out of my depth. I am well within the capacity of my inner strength and courage. I know I am brave enough to see how it plays out. I am a strategic thinker and risk taker. You bet your butt I have like three contingency plans in place 😂😂✌️ I also secured support to mitigate potential roadblocks. I am using the leverage I have appropriately and respectfully. I am being careful how I speak and which words I use. I am feeling hopeful that It’s going to work out in my favor. I actually saw some positive affects already but I still don’t know what job I will end up in yet 😂 I’ve surrendered…I took a stand for something I believed in and that was the right choice for me. If I lose, I lose. I can live with it. If I lose, God has something else in mind for me. Trust me, I’ve already handicapped the various outcomes 😂✌️This was a very strategic well thought out risk for me to take. Honestly, I would not have taken this kind of risk a few years ago. I would not have had the courage or confidence in myself to believe I could affect a change like this nor would I have the faith to know I will be ok no matter the outcome. When people spend all day telling you are that are you are small, you start to believe them.

Marianne Williamson quote

The other reason I was thinking about this is a friend is in a tough situation and I am concerned about her. Because of the nature of our official relationship I can’t offer to coach her. However, my unofficial observation is it may be time for her to surrender, let go and give herself a new beginning. While I did encourage her to explore other options, I stopped short of saying it was time to surrender because I believe that’s a realization she needs to make herself. I do honestly believe God may be making her uncomfortable because it’s time for her to let go and make a move. The only thing I can really do in this situation is be a supportive nurturing friend to her while she figures this out. As I do care about her very much, I reached out to a mutual friend who I know can help her. I just wanted to be sure he knew I was genuinely concerned. I believe she needs a coach not a savior or a fixer; I know he will do that for her. Hmm, maybe he and I should be Executive Coaching partners and start a business together??? LOL 😘😉 See, I’m always strategizing 🙂

Head’s Up —- Mercury Retrograde starts Tuesday, March 5th and last until March 26th. This can be a time of technical snafus and communication errors. I typically experience mail issues, phone and clock problems, electrical stuff in the house(smoke alarms), calendar mix-ups and computer problems at work. If you need to sign contracts or possibly accept job offers (I hope 🤞), be SUPER careful with words and communications. Thank God my serious work conversations are out of the way. The ball is rolling so hopefully things should be ok. I also remind folks to be careful with facial expressions like eye rolls especially in meetings. This is also a good time to revisit, reflect, rememberances, rekindling and reunions. Reach out to a friend and catch up 😊 Mercury Retrograde doesn’t have to be a time to hide. Just think twice before sending snarky emails and texts and choose your words carefully.

Mercury retrograde meme

ACTION
The Action this week is just to remember we are all in this life together. Look out for one of another. Help people when you can. Give support to those you care about and, if you are called, take a stand for something or someone you believe in.

Final thoughts…

When God drops you to your knees, stay there a while. Take the time to rest, heal and nurture yourself back to wellness. I can’t remember where I heard the below little story but I still love it…

God dropped me to my knees in a hole of depression and anxiety but guess what? I surrendered, let go and now…

I know the way out now… 😊✌️💙

As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…

Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

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Self Care Sunday ~ Divine Timing

Pink Himalayan Salt Stone Massage

Self Care has been focused this week on taming stress, anxiety and tension. I celebrated Friday night happy hour at my Chiropractor’s office with an adjustment and a Pink Himalayan Salt Stone Massage. I needed to get tension and stress out of my neck and shoulder muscles. It felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on me and I needed to unload.

Friday quotes

I’ve been seeing the same Massage Therapist for two years. She is also an esthetician and shares an office with my Chiropractor. I grew up with family member owing a day spa so I’ve been on massage tables since I was high school. In my younger years, I would just go about anywhere for a Massage without realizing that receiving a massage is an exchange of energy. It’s essential to be sure the person who is massage your body has good positive energy 💚 In the past, I’ve traveled to spas and getaway weekends with girls friends to get massages and facials. I don’t do that anymore. I prefer to stay with the massage therapist that I know, trust and call a friend. Her style is very nurturing and her energy is balanced and amazing. She is very caring and respectful when she massages my body. I find that comforting and trust-worthy. She knows my body. She understand my concerns. She respects my wishes. When I am laying naked on her table, I am safe. That says a lot. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars in the past at spas for the “spa” experience only to find comfort, safety and trust right in my Chiropractor’s office 15 minutes from home. I now see her every two months for Pink Himalayan Salt Stone Massages which helps with neck and shoulder tension. My TMJ has been way more manageable since I started doing this. It feels good to know I can trust her and totally relax while I am on her table.

Pink Himalayan Salt Benefits

For those not familiar but curious about Pink Himalayan Salt Stone massage, here’s what happens…My therapist heats the stones and dips them in Lavendar infused Coconut Oil before running the stones along muscles in all areas of the body. Her style integrates philosophies of Eastern medicine, Lomi Lomi, Shiatsu, Swedish massage, thermal therapy and salt therapies to create an array of possible benefits: Increase blood circulation, Reduce inflammation, Improve sleep, Induce deep relaxation and Improves overall sense of well-being – plus the hot stones feel amazing and really get the knots out! After the massage I had sushi for dinner and slept great on Friday night. I am always a little tired and very relaxed the day after a massage. I pushed through it Saturday morning and knocked stuff off the “to do” list early in the morning. I felt my body slowing down around noon and decided to retreat to the coziness of my bed Saturday afternoon with my iPad to write this blog post. I love my bedroom. It really is beautiful and comfy 🙂

Bed

I also bought a new book on Leadership by General Stanley McCrystal. I prefer to hold a real book in my hands than read on my Kindle so I bought the hard cover book. The brightness of the reading on the Kindle bothers my eyes when I read at night. General McCrystal asserts you don’t need to take Leadership training to be a Leader! I’m a couple of chapters in and I am enjoying it. It’s making me think. It’s not only an exploration of leadership styles, successes and failures it’s also chuck full of history. I’m learning stuff 😂 It’s a thick book so I will probably be reading this all week plus I need to think about stuff after I read it to absorb it 😊Since I plan to take an Executive Coaching course sometime in the future so I can add that service to my Coaching services, I like to read books on Leadership. It also helps me in my full time job too.

Leadership Books: General McCrystal

I trust my body when it tells me it needs comfort and rest. I listen when it tells me it needs to be still instead of “do”. I am going to Philly for the day on Sunday and know I will be driving a lot tomorrow so I am enjoying some downtime before a busy day tomorrow.

I am still in a transition at work. After I rejected an offer last week, my acting Director asked me to give her a little time to strategize an alternative. I was told the other day, they are indeed looking at alternatives for me so the deal isn’t dead yet 🙂 Here’s the thing, I TRUST this Acting Director that I’ve only known for a year — more than I ever trusted other managers I’ve known for ten years. I do truly believe she is on my side but I also know she will do what is best and most ethical for business. I respect that. I can’t ask for more from her. This situation is requiring me to be really patient. It’s hard not knowing how something is going to work out. I second guessed my decision a little earlier in the week until I remembered I knew in my heart and in my gut the job I rejected, the way it was structured, was not right for me. I trusted my intuition and I still feel good about that decision. I see now it’s not really about WHO I work for. I would be fine working in either organization. My intuition has been telling me this transition is about ensuring I am doing work that I find satisfying and fulfilling. It is also about ensuring I am fairly compensated for my level of responsibility and skills. I am TRUSTING my intuition on this one.

My lesson this week has been to TRUST the Universe and believe in Divine Timing. Divine Timing is the spiritual concept that things happen when they are meant to happen. You can’t rush something. Things happen in a sequence for a divine purpose.

I’ve been using these affirmations to keep my thoughts positive.
✨ I trust everything is always working out for my highest good.
✨ I trust my intuition
✨ I trust my body’s wisdom
✨ I have complete trust and faith in the Universe

Divine Timing

ACTION:
The Action for this week is to simply trust and have faith on the Divine Timing in your life. Work on trusting your own intuition. Practice patience and have faith. Consider using affirmations throughout the day to stay positive. You can use the affirmations I list above if you like, or make one for yourself. Remember…Affirmations are positive in nature; they affirm that something is true.

Diving Timing quote

As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…

Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Self Care Sunday – The Waiting

Dark hallwayWe are all waiting in one way or another. We are all waiting for something. We are all waiting for someone. Some of us are patient with waiting. Others of us are impatient with waiting. One thing is for certain. We all wait for something at some point in our lives.

Some of us are waiting to be happy. We tie our happiness to a future event instead of today. We place all the weight of our happiness on a new house, new job, new car or new relationship. Instead of loving ourselves today we wait for someone to valid us externally; we place our happiness in the hands of another instead of owning it ourselves today. Are you happy today?

Tom Petty says, “The waiting is the hardest part!”. Waiting to be happy is truly the hardest part. The waiting is limbo. The waiting is the unknown. When we are waiting, we have no control. Waiting can make us feel powerless. Waiting can be filled with anxiety and worry. Waiting can be stressful. The longer we wait, the more anxiety we feel. Waiting robs us of joy today. How do we cope with the waiting? How do we cope with being in the unknown?

The times in my life when I’ve been waiting for something have truly been some of the most challenging times of my life. In past, I was impatient. I looked externally to find happiness and fulfillment. Happiness for me was always tied to a future event. I was waiting on something external to make me happy without realizing the power to be happy was within me all along. Over time I learned to embrace the times of waiting with anticipation and excitement. I started telling myself things like, “won’t it be so wonderful once I get that new job!” I started changing the energy I was sending into the Universe from negative worry/anxiety to positive anticipation and excitement.

Honestly, the biggest lesson I’ve learned about handling the times of waiting in my life is to LET GO! Let go! I’ve learned to surrender. I’ve learned we can’t control what we can’t control. Nothing will change that. Simply recognizing when something is outside of my control was an important step towards me learning to let go of the stress and anxiety of the “waiting”.

I also learned that practicing gratitude for everything I have today in the present moment was an important way for me to find happiness in the present moment. It’s made me more joyful in the present moment. Tapping into the feeling of gratitude creates excitement and fulfillment which counteracts the anxiety of the unknown. It’s about changing the internal dialogue from worry and anxiety to gratitude, anticipation and excitement. This is mind trick! You are training your mind to be excited instead of stressed. It can be challenging to do this at first but eventually it gets easier and it works.

ACTION
This week’s action is reflect on how you feel about the unknown. Are you waiting to be happy in future? Can you focus on finding happiness within yourself today?

Practicing gratitude can be an effective way to raise your vibration and change the anxiety of waiting to anticipation and excitement for the future. A simple gratitude practice is to reflect on five things you are grateful for each morning or each evening before going to sleep. I tend to say thank you and gratitude prayers in my morning conversation with God, Angels, Guides and Spirits while I drive to work.

Gratitude

Gratitude

As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…

Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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Grateful for A Great Year

Goddess quote

This is a gratitude post. I am expressing gratitude because 2018 was a great year for me.

2018 was a great year because I found my true authentic voice and learned how to advocate for my needs assertively without creating friction.

2018 was a great year because I focused my own self care the whole year. I focused on nurturing my soul and tending to my own garden without taking care of everyone else around me. While I had my challenges, including breaking my foot in April, I learned to surrender. I learned to accept that I need a slower lifestyle than other folks. I need more rest. I need less social interaction. I need more sleep. I learned it’s ok for me to just “be” instead of “do”. I need less social media and I learned I enjoy the silence.

2018 was a great year because I healed. I healed from past traumas. The truth is I will always have PTSD from being sexualty assaulted by family member. I will always have PTSD from repressed greive from my father’s death when I was seven but in 2018 I learned how to live with those feelings. I learned how to open myself up and feel it. I felt it all. I let myself go to the depths of despair and cry. I let myself sit in silence and depression. I let myself suffer and live with the pain. I let the memories come up so I could heal and release them. I healed in 2018.

2018 was a great year because I grew professionally. I proved to myself that I could take on a big challenge and handle it successfully. Now as I stand at crossroads professionally, I am open to all opportunities. I am looking forward to seeing what comes next. I trust everything is always working out for my highest good. I let go of trying to control the way the Universe flows and instead I am flowing with it. I’m looking forward to exploring my options and am excited to see what direction I will go in 2019.

Abraham Hicks

2018 was a great year because my spiritual practice deepened. My awareness opened. I started to look at things differently. I woke up.

2018 was a great year for me! It was great year because I grew; I expanded and I stepped into my own personal power. I embraced the goddess within.

2018 was a great year. I wanted to take a moment and express gratitude into the Universe for giving a great year before 2019 really gets going. I am thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned. I am thankful I learned to take care of myself. I am thankful I learned to let go. I am thankful I learned to go with the flow. Thank you Universe. I am grateful and I am eagerly looking forward to the future.

Going with the flowGoing with the flow

As Always – I will be including the Loving Kindness Prayer on every post going forward because I believe love can and will triump over evil. Light will prevail over darkness. I believe we need to put LOVE into the Universe. Love each other…

Remember to put a little love in the world by saying the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

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Self Care Sunday – Saving For A Rainy Day

Girl art umbrella

My current situation has me thinking a lot about finances lately so today’s Self Care Sunday post is about financial self care and saving for a rainy day. I am not sure where that saying came from but it means to save a little for unexpected expenses or hardships.

I grew up with a single mother who had five children; I was the youngest. My mother did her best while working two jobs. She also received Social Security death benefits for my father, she got food stamps and Catholic Charities would often leave food at our door. Usually around Christmas my mother would come home to find a couple hundred dollars in envelope stuffed in between the storm door and screen door. I remember getting dressed for school in front of the oven one morning because we ran out of oil. I remember eating peanut butter sandwiches or hotdogs for every meal for a few weeks. Our home was on the verge of being in a sheriff sale a few times only to be saved by a local Good Samaritan. My mother still lives in that home. It’s been paid off for over 20 years. Perhaps this is why I’ve been sensitive, empathic and compassionate to human struggles and suffering. I’ve been there.

When I was really young most of my clothes were hand me downs from my sisters or were bought from the Goodwill. My mother took me to a store on the other side of town so I would not end up with clothes from our neighbors. But she always made sure I look fashionable and had what I needed so I fit in with the local kids. In my freshman year of high school a teacher told my mother that I talked about life and bills like I was 40 years old and that I needed be just a kid. I don’t begrudge my mother for letting me see her struggle. It’s because I saw it that I grew up understanding how it feels to struggle. It made me empathic. I am glad I can feel the suffering others.

My favorite things from my childhood included our weekly treat of having dinner at the diner around the corner from our house and once a month we went out for Chinese food. One big plus was my mother was a baker for TastyKake In Philadelphia for a few years when I was young so we had an endless supply of Peanut Butter Tandy Cakes, Krimpets, Chocolate Cupcakes and Apple pies in house. She eventually left TastyKake for a job closer to our home at the Navy Depot. That’s where she eventually retired from to take care of my terminally ill sister. Perhaps this is why I am a hard worker. I grew up watching my mother work hard to feed us and keep a roof our our heads. I am grateful I had her for my mom everyday.

TastyKake

I wasn’t good with money in my younger years. I didn’t know how to manage it. I grew up in a house that never had money to manage. It was always paycheck to paycheck. I think it could go either way when you go up like that. My sister grew up saving her lunch money and has bought every car she’s ever owned with cash. She is very good with money. I’ve had my ups and downs.

In my 20s and 30s I was a partier and I lived large…The below meme pretty much says it all 😂

Drinking meme

In April 2006 I was laid off from my job when the non-profit I worked for lost the grant that paid my salary. I went back to school full time for one year. I managed just fine while on unemployment but unemployment ran out in April 2007. I worked temp jobs but I didn’t find a full time job until November 2007. Within those six months, I lost everything and was financially destroyed. My credit score was crushed. Once you get behind, it’s very hard to catch up. Especially with credit cards. I never thought I would dig out of that hole. But, guess what? I did… It took a few years for things to get turned around but eventually I was back on solid ground and my credit score improved greatly. Unfortunately, I was still living paycheck to paycheck.

In 2016 my sister lost her job. That’s a long story. She was kind of a whistleblower but she lost her temper (flipped out on someone ) in the process and got fired. She had no income. I supported her for three months until she got back on her feet. In 2017 my niece lost her job and entered rehab for prescription drugs. I supported her and helped give her a fresh start. My sister and my niece are both back on their feet. My sister is doing just fine. My niece had a few relapses after rehab but she got her one year of sobriety coin at AA on Christmas Day 2018. I am proud of her and happy I helped her. I have no regrets helping my sister or my niece. I have no regrets I that I lived paycheck to paycheck while I was doing it. My point is we never know what is going on in someone’s life. I didn’t tell my friends or coworkers I was supporting two other people on my salary. It wasn’t their business. Just because I made decent money doesn’t mean I had anything in the bank. Someone could have $200K a year coming into their house and still live paycheck to paycheck if they are overextended. There’s no judgment. It’s just the way it is. We never know what is going on in another person’s life.

By late 2017, taking care of everyone but myself was starting to take a toll on my well-being. I also learned that my chronic shoulder, neck, jaw and temple pain was actually TMJ and I have arthritis throughout the left side of my jaw. Most likely from clenching. I clench in my sleep. I now take Magnesium every night at bedtime. My doctor also gave me Xanax to take at bedtime on nights I am really tense. It helps. It’s much more manageable now than it was. I am pretty sure those who have been around me enough have noticed me clench when I am stressed or annoyed. It was during that difficult time I decided 2018 was going to my year.

TMJ

The only person I worried about and took care of in 2018 was myself. It wasn’t selfish. It was survival. In 2018 I accepted a new job and explored a new career path. God only knows what will happen with that when I get back to work. I kind of feel it doesn’t really matter anymore as long as I have job to go back to (I do, so no worries there). In 2018, I studied at the Institute Of Integrative Nutrition and learned basic self care practices that I now use every day. In 2018, I learned how to eat so my stomach is constantly bloated. And in 2018, I started being smart with money. Smart enough that I am on longer living paycheck to paycheck.

Self care quote

When the news of my furlough hit, it was stressful. I count myself blessed and fortunate because I also knew I would be fine financially. I knew I had enough saved that I would be fine even if I didn’t get unemployment or back pay. I called my landlord. She told me not to pay rent until I am back to work and/or get my back pay. WOW! What a blessing! I was also able to push my car payment back a couple of months too. Yep, everyone heard about the government shutting down 😂 I did apply for unemployment anyway but it hasn’t been approved yet. I am not sure I’ll need it. God provided for me in my time of need and for that I am very grateful. All of my prayers to ArchMichael over the years worked!

ArchAngel Michael prayer

I will say this furlough has been a wake up call to me. It gave me opportunity to really look at my spending and evaluate what I really need. I may live in a nice beach front apartment but I don’t drive an expensive car and I don’t take big expensive vacations. I live modestly. Actually, I live below my means and it’s just fine with me. I don’t need more. However, I do plan to make some changes going forward which means putting more money in the bank and spending less on yoga, sushi and a cleaning lady. I do want to take a vacation this year so I want to save some extra money this year. I will be saving instead of putting money into the economy. I have a feeling a lot of people who have been affected by the shutdown will be doing the same and economy will be taking a long term hit.

Asking for a friend…

Would you be considered a bad Democrat if you wanted Congress and the President to reach a compromise so everyone impacted by this Shutdown can get their paychecks and get back to their lives? I’ll be honest. Even though I’m getting back pay and I know this won’t trigger a reduction in workforce, it’s totally stressing me out. But at 51, 11 years of service with savings to live on, I am riding it out. I am curious how younger people with less service are viewing this. Will they stick around? It’s a shame because we need them for the future. I am also really concerned for the contractors and their companies. They are getting crushed in this. Will they make it? Will people even want to work them and subject themselves to this? In my area, I suspect the answer is probably yes. There just aren’t a lot of opportunities in my area and where we work is a nice place to work. I am praying everyday for it to end soon. I’m praying for everyone involved. My last thoughts on this is that I like politics. I pay attention to politics —- but this Administration is exhausting and it is not even funny anymore.

My question to you today is how’s your relationship with money?
Are you living within your means or are you overextended? Are you living paycheck to paycheck because of obligations or are you taking expensive vacations and living in a big house you can’t afford? Do you have three months of salary or more in the bank for a rainy day? Do you have a budget? When was the last time you stopped to take care of yourself financially?

ACTION:

This week’s action is to do a Financial Check-Up and create a financial goal for yourself. Here are a few things to think about.

  1. Review your Inflows and Outflows – Can you track your income and expenses for the last year? What came in? What went out? Was there any money left over? See the below graphic.
  2. Make a list of your assets and everything you owe – Subtract your liabilities from your assets and that is your net worth.
  3. Look at your investments – If you have them? Are they invested properly for your age?
  4. Check your credit score – http://www.myfico.com or http://www.annualfreecreditreport.com are free sites for credits scores.
  5. Reflect on any major changes you want to make in your life and identify and steps you need to take to make it happen

The below graphic depicts the optimal distribution of outflows. I am not quiet there yet. My financial goal is have more cash savings. My 401K contribution is maxed and I am also dropping more in since I turned 50. I’ve been too afraid to look at it lately 😂 I’ve heard it’s 10% down. So, my focus is going to be on saving cash after I get back to work.

Budget Distribution

Remember to put a little love in the world and say the Loving Kindness Prayer for someone special. I often like to say it for special people in my life as well for groups such as my family, friends, coworkers and all beings.

Loving Kindness Prayer💙
May you be safe
May you be healthy
May you be happy
May you be loved

I claim love as my vibration for 2019.
img_0819

Everything is always working out for my highest good 💙🦋

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

Protected by Copyscape Online Copyright Search

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Self Care Sunday – Empathy & Vulnerability

Brene Brown quote

I woke up Saturday morning ready to rumble 😂 Seriously, I was looking for someone to fight 😂 This week has been frustrating. I am embarrassed to admit my jaw has been clenched so much it was almost on locked down by Saturday Afternoon😂 So here’s what was driving me crazy this week.

I was diagnosed with Small Intestinal Bacterial Overgrowth (SIBO) with IBS-D and Pancreatic Enzyme Deficiency on October 24th. My doctor prescribed an antibiotic that has to be made at a compounding pharmacy. He wants me to take this particular antibiotic because it stays in the bowel and doesn’t have any systemic side affects. It’s not absorbed into the blood stream. Without insurance it would cost $2,100 for 14 days. I need it for 28 days. It needed to be approved by the Insurance company before it was filled. It took over a week and five phone calls to the specialty pharmacy, doctor and insurance to find out the prescription was denied by my insurance and is now in the appeals process. I still don’t know what’s going to happen with it. Meanwhile, I’m not paying $4k for a prescription and I am still symptomatic. I am in limbo. It frustrating and uncomfortable. I finally got an answer to what is wrong with my tummy but I may not be able to get the thing that could help fix it. I could get a surgery covered under insurance but not this drug. I am hoping my doctor can do something about it. 🤞I will say the Low FODMAP Diet is already helping but I am missing my Avocados and Apples 🍎 ☹️

Next, I need a special certification at work for one potential opportunity I’ve been exploring. To get the certification I need to take a training class that is not offered very often. I managed to find a virtual class for next week and I am 4th on the waitlist. I called to find out if they could squeeze me in. They said the course is capped and they won’t know until Monday if they can fit me in. I can’t understand why course administration can’t fit four more people into a virtual class that is offered company wide on such a limited basis. Sounds simple, right? It’s not! I have to wait until Monday to find out if I got into the class. If I do get into it, I have to cancel a work road trip with coworkers to Hampton University in Hampton Va that is scheduled for Wednesday & Thursday. I may not want to drive that far with my coworkers while having these tummy issue anyway; my boss is good with whatever I choose to do ☺️ The good news I found out on Friday they can get a “Training Waiver” for one year for me to complete the class. If I don’t get into the class this week, it won’t hold me back from the opportunity.

By far my biggest frustration this week is a heat valve in my bedroom that is broken. It won’t turn off! 🔥🔥It’s close to 90 degrees in my bedroom! I reported it last Sunday. I was on the list and got bumped twice this week which almost made me lose my mind when I found it out last night. I work all day and haven’t been able to go downstairs to complain every day like everyone else has done. The maintenance guy wanted to fix it today but the property manager would not let him do work on a Saturday. So, it won’t be done until Tuesday. Meanwhile, I have windows open, I am not sleeping and I’ve had a headache for a week. Yep, this one has my jaw good and locked up with tension 🤬

Remember I said I wanted to rumble with someone? Well, I planted myself in the lobby of my building on Saturday afternoon. I was stalking the Property Manager and waiting for her to come out of a Board Meeting. I waited 90 minutes while reading a book on my phone. The whole time I was stewing. I saw her and for a moment I almost felt sorry for her, I was about to destroy her for bumping me. She invited me into her office. I sat down and started to give her an earful. She was defensive and dismissive. The story I was telling myself was she didn’t care and my discomfort didn’t matter to her. My perception of her lack of empathy was totally ratcheting my crazy up. Just before my crazy reached DEFCON FIVE which would have involved me possibly jumping across the desk at her, Brene Brown flashed in my mind.

Rumble Definition by Brene Brown

I am reading “Dare to Lead” by Brene Brown. In her book, Brene talks a lot about “rumbling” and how use vulnerability and empath as tools during a rumble. That’s when I pulled back and decided to try another tactic. I then told the Property Manager I was expecting her to show some empathy for the situation and understand how it was impacting me instead it seemed like she immediately armored up and got defensive. I then apologize and said, “If it came across to you that I was attacking you or blaming you for my situation, I am sorry. It’s not your fault. I just haven’t been sleeping and I have a headache. It’s hard to sleep in 90 degrees even with the windows open….I can empathize with you and imagine people yell at you all day for their problems. That has to be hard and I don’t want to do that to you. I am sorry” As I was talking, her eyes started to swell up with tears and she said, “Everything in this building is my fault and people yell at me all day long.” This woman was now crying in front of me. Great job Linda. “You successfully made someone cry today” is all I thought. But, I had one redeeming thought… I didn’t make her cry because I yelled at her. I made her cry when I showed my vulnerability and expressed empathy towards her. She was crying because I understood how she was feeling. Then she explained to me in order to fix my heat valve they have to turn off the steam boiler for the whole complex. She told me it is not good for a steam boiler to be turned on and off every day. It has to be planned out so four or five of them can be done on the same day. She apologize I was bumped from this week but said they can do it on Tuesday; I will be first on the list. People keep asking me why I don’t want to buy in my building. Well, it’s an old building with issues and the Condo Association has had a reassessment every year. It might be cheap to buy but the maintenance isn’t cheap. My unit needs work. I am taking a pictures and sending to the landlord.

So, I walked away from my rumble today with mixed results. My heat valve still isn’t getting fixed until Tuesday but I am now officially the first on the list that morning. They promised me I would not be bumped again but I don’t trust that so I am planning to call them at 8:30am Tuesday to make sure they stick to plan 😂😂 I already set a calendar reminder on my phone 😂 In my rumble today someone cried…it wasn’t me 😂 She cried because I showed her compassion and empathy. She cried because I opened myself up to her. She cried because I was vulnerable and that made her comfortable enough to take off her amour. I am not sure I technically won today’s rumble — not at least how I envisioned winning. But I was a good human being who cared about another person’s feelings and had the self awareness to use a more compassionate tool during the rumble. Some would call that winning.

This is why I read books. If I wasn’t reading Brene Brown’s book right now and if I hadn’t decided to use one of the Rumble Tools in the book, how would that conversation (rumble) been different? I think we would have both walked away angry without understanding each other. I think she would have felt attacked and I would have eventually felt shitty self righteousness for taking her down without any regards to her feelings. But the question is, is that really the person I want to be in this world. Do I really want to be a bully or shitty and self righteous? Do I really want to “win” at all costs – no matter how people perceive me or how I perceive myself. No, I am grateful I was self aware enough that in that moment I pulled back and switch to a more wholehearted approach. It is possible to maintain boundaries, be assertive while also be vulnerable, empathetic and aware of how our actions and words affect others.

In the meantime, I am hoping for nice weather until Tuesday so I can keep the windows open otherwise it will be like the tropics in my condo 😂 I will end this post by trying to ground myself in gratitude. I am grateful for:

    I finally know what is wrong with my tummy and hopefully a treatment will be on it’s way soon
    I have a good job. I’ve had a great time in my temporary assignment this year and learned a lot. I am hopeful the irons I have in the fire will manifest another great growth opportunity in the coming weeks.
    My heart is overflowing with love this week.
    With my windows open, I can hear the ocean while I am in bed 😂😂
    I can see the beach from my window😂😂
    I took a migraine medicine today. It substantially reduced the TMJ pain and isn’t making me sleepy or tired. That’s when I know it was tension that had me jacked up 😂
    I am reading a few good books instead of wasting time on Social Media
    I am living wholeheartedly

Are you ready to rumble? How do you react when things aren’t going as smooth as you would like? Does your crazy get to DEFCON FIVE or do you have the self awareness to pull yourself back? Most importantly, are you living WHOLEHEARTEDLY? 💙

Guidepost for Wholehearted Living by Brene Brown

(C) 2018 Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC – All Rights Reserved

DISCLAIMER: Poetry, views, thoughts,and opinions expressed on this blog belong solely to the author and Highest Good Holistic Health Coaching, LLC

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