Old Soul Eyes

0_24e59_cb7704fb_XLI am a Brown Eyed Girl. In my family, my father and I are the only two out of seven with brown eyes. Everyone else in the family has either Blue or Hazel eyes. I suppose that is why growing up I was always attracted to people with Blue eyes. I always thought Blue eyes were beautiful. You always want what you don’t have and I couldn’t figure out how I got eyes as dark as mine when everyone else in the family has fair eyes.

Then one day a mentor/friend said something to me that changed my perspective and made me truly appreciate the eyes I have. She said “You can see your soul in the depths and beauty of your eyes. You are an old soul. You can see it in your eyes. Old souls give comfort to the younger ones. And, that’s what you do.” I reflected upon this statement for a long time. I wondered “What’s an old soul?” At that time, I was only in my twenties and didn’t really get what she meant. I was still too emotionally immature to really understand or accept the depth of what she spoke. Nor was I willing to accept the responsibility that comes with being an old soul. You see old souls have been around the block a few times. If you believe in reincarnation, an old soul is someone who has lived many lifetimes before this one. If you believe in Buddism, an old soul is here again to achieve Nirvana and live their last lifetime. They are here in this lifetime to get it right.

As I reflect on this lifetime I am living and think of it in terms of being an old soul, I now understand and accept the many tragedies I’ve witnessed. I now know that God has me here on this earth at this time for a purpose. And, that purpose is to LOVE. It’s to offer compassion and comfort to the lost traveler. It’s to give guidance to person who left their soul in the lost and found. It’s to show empathy to the person who no one understands. And, I’ve made a commitment to myself that I am getting it right in this lifetime.

My sister passed away 14 years ago after a long tragic illness. I was one of her caretakers and it was the greatest privilege of my life.  Her death broke me for a long time. I couldn’t figure out how to live my life without her. But, her memory and her legacy now sets me free and has helped me put my heart back together again. By listening to my heart and following my very own instincts instead of listening to the advice or direction of others I was able to rebuild my life. I was able to reclaim my soul.

So, yes. I am an old soul. I’ve witnessed and experienced a great deal of heartache in my life. But, those heartaches have been a wonderful teacher. It was only recently that I finally figured out that my heartaches and disappointments didn’t have to be shields that protect me.  They needed to be the rock that I stand on so I can help someone else up. They were lessons God wanted me to learn so I can help others. They were lessons in love. Through the heartaches and disappointments I’ve learned just how much love my heart can hold. I’ve learned to express my love. I’ve learned how to love unconditionally without expectation.

I have old soul eyes and for that I am grateful.

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Photo Credit:

Bec Winnel

Retrieved From:
http://www.tuttartpitturasculturapoesiamusica.com/2011/02/bec-winnel.html
 

I Opened My Hand And Let Go – Daily Post Poetry Writing Challenge

I Opened My Hand And Let Go – Daily Post Poetry Writing Challenge
By: Linda A. Long

In opening
My hand
I let go
Of everything
I tried
To hold on to
Too tightly
Reminding myself
Where
I was
What
I overcame
Who
I am now
Changed
Forever
By the wave
That swept
Through my life
Innocently
It started
As a ripple
As one
Decision
Lead to another
And pulled
Me down
To the very
Bottom
Of my soul
To find
Authenticity
For the first time
Traveling down this
Rocky road
To peace
“Stop”
My mind
Shouted
“Go back”
My heart pounded
“This is too hard”
My body wept
“I can’t”
A small little voice
Deep within
Proclaimed
“I must”
Asserted
My soul
Not knowing
Exactly what
I was choosing
Only knowing
Life was forcing
Me to start over
I can’t remember
Consciously
Making the choice
I don’t remember
Saying
“Yes”
I can’t reflect
On the exact
Moment
It happened
It happened
Every day
With every
Choice
Letting go
One day
Holding on
The next
Having faith
Meaningful things
In my life
Will remain
Trusting what is
Rightfully mine
Will return
I opened
My hand
And let go
Finally
I see
The very best
Of me
For the
First time
I accept
I am powerful
Confidently
I stand
With tears
In my eyes
Because I
Finally
Set myself
Free
In knowing myself
I let go
By Trusting
Myself more
Than listening
To the advice
Of others
I finally found
My peace
Because
I let go
Of who
I was
And who
They wanted
Me to be
I timidly
Courageously
Started walking
My road
To peace
Through
The valley of
Of self-love
And
To the mountaintop
Of self-acceptance
I found
Happiness
Within
No longer
Needing
Validation or approval
From others
I pinned my
Happiness
To the beat of
My very own
Heart
Simply
Because
I opened
My hand
And let go
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Life Intentions Declared As Of January 2, 2013

namaste1I’ve never been one to make New Year’s Resolutions. They seem cliché to me. But, I do believe in setting Intentions for one’s life. I believe in goals. I am a planner by nature. I believe if you set a goal and make a plan, you can do whatever you set your mind to.

After reflecting back on the last few years of my life, I see some opportunities for growth and continued improvement. Below is a rough list of Intentions or goals that I am setting for my life. This list is not all-inclusive. There are a few things that are far too personal and I have chosen to not share them on my blog. This list is long-term and is a multi-year approach to my life. Basically, this list is a rough list of Intentions for my life and I will use it as a jumpstart to get me moving in the right direction 2013.

Physical Health

I will continue to focus on improving my health in all aspects so I can live a full active life. I will continue to make choices that promote health and wellness in my life. This includes continued commitment to fitness with regular exercise five to seven days per week. While I am now an average weight for my height, I would like to lose an extra 5 to 10 pounds. Since I came this far and lost 80lbs I may as well lose another 5 to 10lbs and get back to my college weight:-)

I will remain committed to being alcohol free. I know if I drink alcohol I will become sick again. I won’t let that happen.

I welcome physical health into my life in 2013.

Emotional and Mental Health

I will continue to make strong healthy choices for myself that focus on taking care of my emotional and mental health. I will make sure to look for ways to better manage stress and anxiety. I will continue speak my peace. I will not internalize. I will not bottle everything up inside. I will allow people to help me. I will allow those who love me to take care of me when I need support. I will seek help when I need it. I will say what I need to say.

I welcome emotional and mental health into my life in 2013.

Financial Health

I will focus my energies on managing money better. It’s been difficult to manage money because of the large medical expenses I’ve had in the last two years. Even with decent insurance I’ve racked up some medical bills for multiple hospital visits. But, I am hoping 2013 will be a year of improvement in my health which will also mean an improvement in discretionary dollars to use for travel or savings.

I welcome wealth and abundance into my life in 2013.

Spiritual Health

It is vitally important to me to keep up my spiritual well-being. I am committed to nurturing my connection to source strength which only comes by practicing Yoga, Meditating, praying, practicing Reiki, offering compassion and empathy to others, by protecting my Karma and the Karma of others. I will live my Mantra of Peace,  Love and Happiness. I will remember that change starts with me. I will allow myself to feel unbridled optimism and passion for my life. I will have the courage to do the hard things in life for the right reasons. I will not give up or give in. I will allow the fire in my belly to burn brightly for all to see.

I welcome spirituality in my life in 2013.

Relationship Health
I plan to continue to surround myself with like-minded people and with people who are good influences for me. We don’t have to agree on everything. We don’t have to have all the same habits or make the same lifestyle choices. For example, I don’t drink Alcohol because I can’t. But, I don’t care if others do while we are out. I am out regularly with people who are drinking when I am not and it’s perfectly fine. But, we need to hold the same basic values.

I will continue to keep up and enforce my boundaries in all relationships.

I like to learn from people. Teach me something. Mold me, inspire me, encourage me and shape my world. Be someone I can respect and look up to. Make an impact on my life.

I will show my love and affection openly for those I love. I will make sure those I love know how I feel. I will continue to believe in LOVE.

I will continue to believe in people.

I will release the past so I can open both arms to welcome the here and now of my life.

I will not give up on LOVE.

I welcome LOVE in all forms into my life in 2013.

Now, here are some things I would like to work on or carry out in the future. There is no deadline on any of these. I just would like to do them sometime in the future whether that they happen this year or twenty years from now:-)  

  • I plan to do a Volunteer Vacation on Blackfeet Indian Reservation in the Glacier Mountains of Montana. Afterwards, I want to decompress for a few days with a Yoga Retreat at Big Sky Yoga Retreats in Bozeman, Montana and spend a few days in Glacier National Park. I always wanted to go to Montana and breathe in the fresh cold air and beautiful sky. I may have to do these two things in separate trips.  If possible, I would like to do the Yoga Retreat in the next year or two. Volunteer Vacation can wait until I have more free time.
  • plan to do a Yoga retreat in Bali.  This is my dream vacation. Yoga and relaxation in Bali. Anyone want to go to Bali with me?
  • I plan to continue to spend my birthday each year at Kripalu Center in the Berkshire Mountains of Massachusetts. It’s a wonderful way to bring in my new birth year.  Anyone interested in a mini-vacation in mid-march?  Meet me at Kripalu:-)
  • I plan to go Zip Lining in Poconos.
  • I plan to go on a SPA Vacation at the Red Mountain Resort in Utah. This will be totally for R & R only. http://www.redmountainresort.com/
  • I plan to drive across the great USA one day. I am thinking I would take the Northern route to the West Coast and the Southern Route(Route 66) back East. 
  • I plan to go to the Kentucky Derby one day. I will wear a great, big, beautiful HAT that matches nothing! 
  • A lifelong friend of mine lives in Loughmacaory, Northern Ireland. She keeps inviting me to come for visit. I was planning to go last year until I go so sick. I would love to go. Maybe later this year or next year.
  • I plan to start working on a Memoir type of book. I’ve been told I have good story to tell and should write a book. With working full-time and being sick I really haven’t had the energy to devote to this project. But, I am hoping with the continued improvement in my health, I’ll have more energy. Otherwise, it will have to wait until I am 62 and retire from my full-time job.
  • I plan to attend a Writing Workshop. I have an idea for Fiction type of novel. But, again, I have no time to write it. And, I am having problems structuring it. The Writing Workshop would help get me centered and help me come up with plan.
  • I plan to write short stories and submit them for hard and soft copy publications.
  • I plan to enter writing contests, at least one per year, to continuously hone my craft.
  • Now that I’ve lost all the weight, it’s time to tighten things up. I plan to focus on muscle conditioning, toning and building to keep a thin strong body.
  • I plan to continue my Reiki training and obtain the level of Reiki Master.
  • I plan to include Tai Chi and Qi Gong into my life. I enjoy both.
  • I plan to nurture my intuitive “sensitive” abilities. While at times they scare me, I understand now I need to embrace it.
  • Finally, this list would not be complete unless I threw in, I plan on hitting the lottery, quitting work and doing everything I wrote above in the next year.  Yee hah!!!!

 

Well, this is just few things to start with to get me moving in the right direction. I am sure I missed something so I may edit this post and add on to it at times. But, this is a start.

Thanks for reading and joining me in my journey to find Peace, Love & Happiness. 

Namaste (the Divinity in me bows to the Divinity to you)!

January 1, 2013

image

This is me with my typical extra large coffee. Although it’s decaf now it’s still coffee. The picture was taken today at the Polar Plunge. It reminded me that on January 1, 2012 I was 50lbs heavier. I’ve lost 80lbs all together which also reminded me of other things that happened in 2012:
-I stopped drinking alcohol.
-I went on Yoga Retreat for the first time at Kripalu.
-I Parasailed for the first time.
-I opened my heart, hung it out on a limb and I am surprisingly ok with that:-)
-I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease.
-I reversed Liver and Heart Diseases
-I committed to working out, health and fitness.
-I bought a new car.

I can see now 2012 was a year of growth and preparation. Almost as if God was preparing me for something bigger and better. I was letting go of everything that no longer served me including the extra weight.

13 is going to be my lucky number. 2013 is the year all good things will come to me. I welcome love into my heart, health into my body and wealth and abundance into my life.

Happy New Year!!!!
I wish you all Peace, Love and Happiness.

In My Life – The Beatles

I’ve been fairly sentimental in recent months. Out of the blue my eyes have welled up with tears as I reflect back on my life.  I’ve thought of the people who have shaped me and the people who hold places in my heart. While it’s a little uncomfortable to have my emotions at the surface level for all to see, it also feels very free to me to finally let it show. Finally, I am being honest in where I stand today, what I want in my life, who I love and how I got here. The word authentic strikes me. I am finally authentic.

While driving home with my Mother on Christmas night I felt filled with gratitude that I finally see and feel clearly. I would rather live this way than the way I did when I filled my time with one party after another or with beer and wine to numb myself.  It was all meaningless chatter and not meaningful interactions. Now that all the meaningless stuff has fallen away I am focusing on the people and things that really matter in my life. I am finally down to what is real in my life. Nothing gives me greater peace and comfort than to take care of those I love.  It makes me feel good. 

This song kept playing in my head over the Christmas Holiday. In some ways this year felt like an ending of something. But, I am also hoping it symbolizes a brand new beginning as well. In any regards, in my life I’ve loved them all.